Chapter Three

Chapter Three

Playground

Rock Chick Rewind

Still some time ago, but not as much…

“Do I need to make my feelings about where we’re standing right now official?” Toni asked.

I didn’t move from my position of leaning against the trunk of my car next to Toni where it was parked at Shirleen’s bar on Colfax.

I also didn’t answer.

“Okay, don’t get mad…” she started, but didn’t finish.

However, her words made me take my laser beam stare off the front door of the bar and turn it to her.

“What?” I pushed when she still didn’t speak.

“I kinda talked to Tony about…you know.”

As fate would have it, the guy we met the last time we were here was named Anthony and went by Tony.

It wascute, Tony and Toni.

It was also good, since Tony might hang out at rough bars, but he was a good guy and way into Toni, so they’d been seeing each other for the last four months.

Though, it was bad because now Tony knew Toni was only twenty, which meant he was not down with her going to this bar for two reasons. One, it was illegal, and two, he was protective and didn’t want her anywhere near the joint.

What was also not good was that I knew what “you know” meant.

This was why my voice was pitched two octaves higher when I asked, “You talked to Tony about Darius and Liam?”

She shook her head.

“No. Not Liam. I just asked him about Darius. I was real casual, I promise,” she didn’t quite assure me. “I said I was friends with him back in high school, since, you know, I was, and wondering after what went down how he was doing.”

Okay, maybe this wasn’t so bad.

And now I was interested.

“What did he say?”

It appeared she didn’t want to say what she was going to say next, but she said it.

“He said steer clear. He didn’t know him back then, but now, he’s one serious bad dude.”

I turned my attention back to the front door because I already knew that. The “bad dude” leaked all his bad dudeness all over my living room four months ago.

I’d also come home to an envelope sitting on my counter like clockwork the first day of every month. The first two were three grand, the last two were four.

All cash.

“So, you know,” Toni went on, “he made it clear he was in for child support, which is good, right?”

I didn’t answer, because I’d told her all about Darius’s visit, and the envelopes I kept getting, and it didn’t need to be said that fourteen thousand dollars in cash was good when you made a salary that was semi-kinda okay for one but didn’t really stretch to two.

She kept going.

“But he’s out for the rest. So why are we standing here again?”

This was a good question because Darius’s feelings on the matter did, indeed, not leave a lot to interpretation, so I didn’t really know.

However, things had definitely been left unsaid, and for some stupid reason, I had the overwhelming urge to say them.

Before I could answer her, a truck pulled into the parking lot.

But it didn’t park.

It drove right up to us and stopped.

The window went down, and I saw Eddie Chavez behind the wheel.

Dang.

Darius knew I was here, or Shirleen did, but it was Darius who was making the statement that he didn’t want to see me.

Eddie vocalized it.

“Go home, Malia.”

“Well, Eddie Chavez,” Toni drawled. “Look at you. You grew up good.”

His black eyes shifted to her, he murmured, “Toni,” then he looked at me, “This is no place for you. Either of you.”

“Tell him I want to speak to him,” I ordered.

Eddie said nothing.

“Tell him, Eddie,” I demanded.

“Go home, Malia,” he repeated, the window went up, and he rolled through the parking lot.

But I noted, when he turned around, he sat idling, his lights still on, waiting for us to load up and head out.

Yeesh.

Those boys.

Always having each other’s backs.

I thought it was cool back in the day.

It was annoying as all get out now.

“I don’t think Darius is gonna show,” Captain Toni of the Obvious pointed out.

I huffed out a breath and got in the car. Toni got in beside me.

Eddie followed us out of the parking lot.

“You know, he’s a cop now,” Toni remarked.

“What? Who?”

“Eddie Chavez.”

I couldn’t help it. I was frustrated and ticked, but that made me laugh out loud.

“No, seriously, he is,” Toni said through my laughter.

“The only reason Eddie Chavez wasn’t a bonafide juvenile delinquent was because…”

I didn’t finish.

It was because Darius tempered that trio.

Lee Nightingale and Eddie Chavez were two young men who weren’t challenged enough by school or sports, so they sought out other challenges, and when you were a teenaged boy, those challenges often were nefarious.

Darius had been their moral compass.

I would have thought…

“Do you know what Lee Nightingale is doing?” I asked Toni.

“He’s in the Army. I think he’s stationed in North Carolina or somewhere.”

Well, there it was. I was no psychologist, but the only reason those two didn’t go off the rails was because Darius kept them on track.

Then he went off the rails and they found them, probably to lead by example, remind their bud who he really was, show the way or be in the position to look out for him as best they could.

Those three had been inseparable, and I should have known they’d find a way to continue to be, even if life took them in very different directions.

“So Lee and Indy never got together,” I said, feeling sad about this, for Indy, and for Lee.

They were always so into each other, I figured he was just waiting for her to grow up.

I guessed I figured wrong.

“Nope, but she isn’t taken, so there’s still hope.”

I wasn’t so sure. I was running low on hope these days.

I dropped Toni at her place, and the minute I pulled into the parking spot in front of her apartment, Tony opened the door and leaned against the jamb.

Damn, he was fine.

“Can’t deny,” I remarked, gaze aimed at her man, “something good came out of going to that bar.”

“No, can’t deny it,” Toni replied. Then her voice got softer, sweeter. “Just saying, he’s got friends, and they’re good dudes.”

I looked to her and gave her a smile I didn’t really feel even though I felt the words I said, “I’ve got a friend too, and she’s the best dudette ever.”

She pulled a face. “Oh my God, do not ever call me a dudette again.”

The smile I had then, I felt.

Toni was awesome at taking your back and guarding your heart, but she wasn’t really goodwith talking about feelings.

“Go to your guy,” I urged. “Next time Mom and Dad take Liam for the night, we’ll do something fun.”

“Promises, promises,” she muttered as she exited the car.

I waited until she got to Tony, but I didn’t watch him greet my friend.

I remembered love in first bloom like it was yesterday.

And I missed it.

Instead, I drove to an empty home (and incidentally, Eddie hadn’t yet peeled off, which told me exactly what Darius had ordered him to do, and that was make sure Toni and I got home okay), wishing I hadn’t caved when Mom begged me to let Liam spend the night.

She and Dad doted on my kid.

Though I knew she had an ulterior motive, thinking I was young, I needed to go out and be young with a girlfriend and forget I had a huge responsibility at home that limited my ability to go out and be young.

The thing was, I doted on my kid too, and I wouldn’t mind heading out to see a concert or movie once in a while, but I loved spending time with my son. Even when I was saving him from electrocuting himself.

I parked at my apartment complex, grabbed my purse, got out, secured the car, then let myself into my apartment, glancing back before I closed the door and seeing Eddie finally driving away.

As usual, I flipped the light on in the entryway, and again squeaked when I saw the man standing in my living room.

I put one hand on my heart, walked into the room and threw my bag on the couch.

Only then did I order, “Stop breaking in.”

“You haven’t moved,” he stated bizarrely.

“What?”

“His room is tiny. This isn’t a good neighborhood. And you haven’t moved.”

I didn’t know what to say. My mind was darting from one thing to the other, including but definitely not limited to the facts he was here again, he’d broken in again, but he’d also obviously had a look around, something that was totally invasive, or, more invasive than him just breaking in, and he was saying words I didn’t understand.

“You got the money…move,” he pressed.

“You’re giving me that money?”

“I’m not giving you that money,” he lied, since he knew about it, and exactly three people knew about it: me, Toni and the person giving it to me.

Why would he lie?

“Darius—”

“There’s a complex close to Colorado Boulevard. Cleaner. Bigger cribs. Green space. A playground. A pool. A security gate. There’s a waiting list. I know a guy. You’re bumped to the top and they got a two-bedroom townhouse open. He’ll call you with the details.”

“Darius—” I tried again.

“Know another guy, he’s got a moving company. He’ll see to that shit.”

“I still have six months on this lease.”

“I’ll make a call.”

He’d make a call and now he was making a move…to leave.

He went to pass by me, but I caught his biceps and snapped, “Darius!”

He stopped, looked down at my hand, then to my face, and his preference that I take my hand from him was perfectly clear without a word escaping his lips.

I didn’t take my hand from him.

“We have things to talk about,” I told him.

“Yeah, you gettin’ out of this pit and putting my son in a decent pad. We talked about that. I’m gone.”

I held on tighter. “I have other things to say.”

“See I gotta make myself clear I don’t wanna hear them, so this is me makin’ it clear. I don’t wanna hear them.”

I pulled at his arm at the same time I moved in front of him to block his path. “Well, I want to say them.”

“Malia, no.”

“I can’t afford a bigger place.”

“Not gonna be your problem, since the rent’s gonna be paid by me.”

My eyes got big.

Then I got mad.

“So, what? Is this guilt?” I asked. “Because I don’t need your guilt, Darius Tucker.”

“It’s not guilt.”

“Then what is it?”

“Move outta my way, woman.”

“Tell me. What is it?” I demanded.

“Outta my way,” he clipped.

I didn’t get out of his way.

I got up on my toes and got in his face.

“Tell me!” I snapped. “If it’s not guilt, what is it?”

“You wanna know what it is?” he whispered, the tone sinister.

I shivered at the tone, but still found it in me to nod my head. “Yeah. I wanna know.”

He was still whispering when he replied, “This is what it is.”

And then his arms were around me and his mouth was on mine.

For a second, I was stunned. I hadn’t been touched by a man since…well, him.

And then his tongue touched my lips, I opened them, and it swept inside, and it wasn’t like I’d used up ten years of hormones making my kid.

It was like I was fifteen again and the cutest boy at school was kissing me.

But I wasn’t fifteen, and Darius wasn’t sixteen.

This was different.

This was better.

Muchbetter.

He had one arm so tight around my back, it was like he wanted my body to fuse with his.

His other hand was at the base of my neck, fingers up in my hair, holding me steady for the onslaught of his kiss, when there was no way I was going to do anything but go for the gusto and kiss him back.

Something I did.

When his hand strayed down to my behind, how much better this kiss was hit me, and how it could get so much better hit me too.

Fury washed through me. Fury and jealousy and misery, a lethal mix of poison permeating my every cell, and I tore from his arms.

He was breathing heavily, and I was breathing heavily, and we were staring at each other.

His stare was wary.

Mine was enraged.

“Seems you got plenty of opportunity to get really good at that,” I jibed. “Guess you weren’t pining for me, hunh?”

The wariness went out of his features, the blankness setting back in.

But he didn’t answer, not until he walked by me, and I pivoted to watch him move to the door.

He stopped at it and turned back to me.

“You move, last day of the month.”

“I don’t need—”

“I don’t give a fuck what you need. My son needs a safe place to live with a playground close. And that’s what he’s gonna get.”

He opened the door but again turned back.

Then he delivered his final blow.

“And I got good at it ’cause I got an imagination. If I’d let myself have a woman, there’s only one woman I’d let myself have. But she doesn’t need my shit. Her kid doesn’t need my shit. No one needs my shit. So I’m gonna let her have her life and raise our boy and keep them clear of the shit that is me.”

With that, leaving me eviscerated, he was gone.

* * * *

FYI:

A man with a moving truck showed at my door on the morning of the last of the month.

I hadn’t packed.

The man with the truck and his boys packed for me.

I threatened to call the police, but he was undeterred.

I didn’t call the police.

Darius had said there was a playground at this new complex.

And a pool.

We moved.

The next day, there was an envelope on the new, gorgeous, granite counters of my roomy new kitchen.

In it was five thousand dollars.