16. Sixteen

Dante laughed in the other room. I smiled to myself as I lifted my teacup. I'd made the right call, telling him to phone his family. He sounded happy, relieved. If only I'd done it sooner.

My smile turned into a sneer as I thought of Oscar and what he might've done if I hadn't shown up in time. The next time I saw him, I'd twist his head clean off.

"Bad tea?" came Leo's voice from behind me.

I turned around in time to catch him pushing his too-big glasses up his nose. Leo was the youngest member of the Junkyard Dogs, and our tech expert. He was also the only one of us who'd never seen real combat, unless you counted the drone strike simulations he'd developed for the Army. I'd always wondered if that was why Boone went so easy on him. Boone must've felt like he was protecting Leo from the real ugliness of the world, but I didn't think he was doing him any favors.

"The tea." He pointed to my teacup with his pen before making a note on his work order form. His glasses slid right back down his nose. "You looked like you swallowed a bug just now and not tea. "

"The tea is fine. I was thinking about Oscar." I sighed and put the teacup down to cross my arms. "How long do you think it will be before you know where he is?"

"We'll know who he is by the end of the day, since I have a feeling the background check the band's manager sent us was a total fake out."

"What? Why would he do that?"

Leo shrugged. "Lazy? Stupid? The social security number Oscar was using belongs to a guy named Oscar Tinez, but the guy you had here? Unless he's had a lot of plastic surgery, that wasn't him. The real Oscar Tinez is fifty-six."

"Fuck! How did we miss this?" I rubbed my forehead.

"It was a last-minute change. Everybody was more concerned about Dante and getting him here without being seen. And on the surface, Oscar checked out. Sam could've missed it, especially if he had a good fake ID. Anyway, finding him is a little more complicated. I can freeze his accounts, but if he's got cash?" He shrugged again and pushed his glasses back up before holding the work order out for me to sign. "The good news is now that you've got CCTV and motion sensors all hooked up, you'll know if Mr. Deluca tries to go for another unauthorized walk."

I grunted and scribbled my signature over the appropriate line. "I wouldn't worry about that. I think he's learned his lesson."

Leo hummed and folded the papers up before clicking his pen closed.

"You don't think so?" I asked.

He shrugged. "I don't really have an opinion on the matter."

"How pissed was Boone really?"

"He was cleaning his gun when I left," he said, tapping the end of the pen on the counter.

"Which gun? The fifty cal or the revolver? "

"Revolver."

I let out a relieved sigh. "Not that bad then."

"You probably have Xion to thank for that. I walked in on him taking it out on Xion's ass. Literally." He wrinkled his nose. "He was wearing—"

I covered Leo's mouth before he could finish the sentence. "I really do not want to hear about what my boss and his husband get up to in their free time, and you should forget what you saw."

"That's easier said than done when you've seen what I saw," he said and shoved his pen in his pocket.

"So you think you'll have an update for me by the end of the day?" I asked, taking up my tea again.

"Doubt it. I'm taking the rest of the day off. Xavier and I are going to see a movie. There's a special screening of Night of the Living Dead at the Athena."

I arched an eyebrow. "So it's a date?"

Leo lifted his dark brown eyes to mine and said in a serious tone, "For the last time, Xavier and me are just friends. We hang out. That's it."

"You don't think it's strange to hang out with your boss's brother-in-law? One who's identical to Xion right down to his DNA?" I put air quotes around the words "hang out".

To me, hanging out meant playing sports together or running errands, maybe doing a job together. It wasn't going to dinner and a movie every week and playing Call of Duty together every other night. Leo spent more time with Xavier than some of us, and we worked together.

"We are not dating!" Leo insisted. "Why is it you all think we can't just be platonic friends who spend a lot of time together? Why do we have to be having sex? "

"I didn't say anything about having sex. You said that. But it's probably a good thing you aren't. It'd be like shagging your boss's husband. They have the same DNA."

He reached under his glasses to rub his eyes. "You're twisting this. They're still different people. They don't even look that much alike. Xion's a shit stirring dog. Xavier is…" He sighed and stared dreamily up at the ceiling. "He's smart, confident… elegante ."

Elegant wasn't the word I'd choose, but then I wasn't hopelessly in love with him, either.

I patted Leo on the shoulder, accidentally jostling his glasses on his face. "Enjoy your movie. Don't forget to turn your phone off so Bowie doesn't interrupt. He'll call at the worst time."

"Thanks." He flushed slightly and adjusted his glasses before clearing his throat. "Anyway, the motion detectors are hooked up. If anything bigger than a racoon moves in front of them, the floodlights will kick on. I've sent the access codes for the CCTV stream to your secure email, but we'll be monitoring them off site as well. Just in case, we should change the locks too. I've informed the owner of the cabin, but that's up to him. In the meantime…"

"I'll keep a closer eye on Dante," I said, nodding.

"Shouldn't be too hard considering he's in your bed," he said and gave me a knowing smirk. "I'll check back in tomorrow."

Once Leo left, I put the kettle back on and made some strawberry jam sandwiches, cutting the crust off. I was just getting everything onto a tray to take into Dante when my bedroom door opened the rest of the way and he came shuffling out, cradling his phone in his hands.

"How did it go?" I asked.

Dante stopped next to me and stood up on his tiptoes to plant a quick kiss on my lips. "Thank you. That was exactly what I needed." He pressed the phone into my palm .

Fire burned in my cheeks and trickled into my chest. "I…You're welcome. Are you feeling better?"

"Not as nauseous, but still kind of tired. I really want to take a shower. Am I too late to ask you to hold off on the tea so we can have it together?"

I smiled and moved the kettle off the burner. "It's never too late. Don't forget your change of clothes this time."

Dante's laugh was good to hear.

Nina finished cleaning while Dante showered. She apologized profusely for missing so many days, but I told her it was all right and sent her on her way with an extra hundred dollars for her trouble. It was the least I could do since she'd cleaned up after the both of us.

Once she'd gone, I went into the living room area to rearrange a few things. Dante complained about being bored. Maybe if I gave him something to do, he'd be less inclined to indulge the demons in his head. While the cabin didn't have Wi-Fi, I had plenty of data on my phone, enough that I could easily connect my laptop to it and stream a movie. It wouldn't be the best quality, but it was better than nothing. I'd have to thank Leo for giving me the idea indirectly when he mentioned his date with Xavier.

As soon as I heard the shower shut off, I started the kettle again. He came out of the bathroom right as I set the tray on the old rustic coffee table next to my laptop.

"What's all this?" he asked, still running his towel through his hair. He'd put on a white T-shirt and a pair of black pajama pants.

"You said you wanted to have tea together, and I thought…" I trailed off, realizing what a stupid idea it probably was. After everything Dante had been through in the last twenty-four hours, maybe he just wanted to talk. What if he needed a friend more than…whatever I was trying to be ?

Dante pointed at the laptop. "Is that Goldfinger ? I love that movie!" He grinned and hopped over the back of the couch, bouncing on the cushion.

I frowned and looked at the screen. I hadn't even realized I'd left the last thing I'd been watching queued up. "I wasn't sure you'd be a Bond fan. We can watch something else if you'd rather."

"No way, man. Connery is the best Bond. My mom had a big thing for him back in the day." He grabbed a sandwich before sitting back. "Restart it from the beginning. The opening on this one is killer."

"I would've said shocking ."

He grinned up at me and patted the cushion next to him. "He's clever, sexy, can cook, and he has good taste in movies? Have I died and gone to Heaven?"

"Thankfully, not yet." I moved the cursor back to the beginning and sat on the sofa.

Dante immediately scooted closer. By the end of the first half hour, he was resting his head on my shoulder and I'd forgotten all about my tea, letting it get cold. My heart was pounding so hard in my chest that I could barely pay attention to the movie.

He rolled his head back to look up at me. "Do you want me to move?"

"What makes you think that?"

"Because you're so tense, it's making me clench."

I frowned and tried to force my shoulders to relax. "Sorry. It's been a stressful day."

He hummed in agreement, and my heart fell as he sat up. The warm spot he'd left against my bicep suddenly felt chilled. I reached up to rub it.

"Come on." He leaned against the far side of the sofa and gestured for me to scoot over to him .

"Come on what?"

"Get your perfect ass over here so I can rub some of that tension out of your shoulders, kitten. Unless you want a tension headache later?"

I hesitated, knowing full well that if I slid over there to lie between Dante's legs, my mind wouldn't be on the movie or the shoulder massage he was offering.

"It's just a massage," he said. "It doesn't have to be anything else."

My shoulders were sore, and I was starting to get a headache, so I did as he asked, scooting closer and giving him my back.

"Not like that. Like this ." Dante put his arms around my ribs and pulled me right up against him. "That's better, don't you think?"

I nodded stiffly, but all my apprehension melted when he dug his thumbs into my shoulders. An involuntary groan escaped, and my eyes rolled back. "Good God, that feels nice."

"I imagine. You're really tense. Do you ever relax?"

"And when was I supposed to do that between yesterday and today?"

His hands stopped moving.

I turned my head. "Sorry. I didn't mean it that way."

"No, it's okay," he said and went back to it. "I'm sorry I snuck out last night."

I closed my eyes as his hands worked their way down my back and tried to focus on that instead of imagining them all over me. "I shouldn't have been avoiding you. If I'd been paying better attention…"

"I still would've found a way to sneak out." Dante's fingers kneaded at the sore muscle in my lower back and I bit back another moan so I didn't embarrass myself again. "If Oscar hadn't dosed me, I probably would've kept drinking. I only stopped because I started to feel woozy and I knew that wasn't right. I should've felt guilty about relapsing, but I didn't. I was just angry and hurt and I didn't know what else to do with myself."

"I told you—"

"I know." He picked up my right arm and started working on the bicep. "And it was stupid of me to assume you were talking to your mom about me. I can be a selfish brat sometimes. My mom said…"

When he trailed off without continuing, I closed my hand around his and tipped my head back to look at him. "What did she say?"

His soft lips turned up in a small smile. "She said someone like you'd be good for someone like me."

My cheeks warmed. "And what is it you think I can do for you that dozens of smarter, better trained people couldn't do for you in the past? Sorry, someone like you."

I expected a glib answer, or at least something flirty, since that was the direction things seemed to be going.

Dante dragged his thumb over my jaw. It was rough with stubble from where I'd missed shaving the night before and that morning, but he didn't seem to mind. "You believe in me. That I can do this. You believe I can be sober."

I sat up and turned to face him. "Of course you can be sober, Dante. I can't be the only one who believes that."

"You're not. At least, I don't think you are. But you're the first person who's made me believe it." He lowered his head and started fidgeting with his fingers. "People say they hope I get better. They want me to get better. They tell me I need to get sober and list all the reasons why drugs and alcohol are bad for me and all the people I've hurt. But you're the first one who's ever said I could do it. No qualifiers, no maybes. You just said it like it was already done. "

"You made a bad decision last night," I said, taking his hand so he'd stop picking at his fingernails, "but you don't have to let that define you. Start over today. Right now."

He looked up at me with big watery brown eyes, lips parted like he didn't know what to say, which wasn't like him at all. Dante always knew what to say. He always had something smart, sassy, and a little sharp in his back pocket, ready to go.

"Kiss me," Dante whispered, leaning forward.

I blinked quickly in surprise. "Right now?"

"Why not?"

I leaned in, running my tongue over my bottom lip. "You expect me to kiss you just because you ordered me to?"

Dante smirked and leaned in a little closer, lowering his voice an octave. "No, Mr. Bond. I expect you to die."

I rolled my eyes and looked away, shaking my head while he laughed his bloody head off. "You're such a nitwit!" I threw one of the sofa pillows at him.

Dante batted the pillow aside, laughing maniacally. I started to turn back to the movie, but Dante's hand cupped my jaw and turned my face back to him. Soft, smiling lips closed over mine, and suddenly, there was nothing funny about any of it.

It wasn't the first time we'd kissed, but all the ones that'd come before had been quick and simple, and that one was tied up in a big, complicated bow from the beginning. I was shocked, but I shouldn't have been. Panicked, but more relaxed than I'd been in days. My arms were heavy and my head was light and there were parts of me that didn't seem at all put together right. If they were, I'd know what to do, how to react. Instead, I sat there for far too long looking like an idiot .

The longer I did nothing, the worse the panic got. I wasn't a schoolboy anymore, and we weren't groping about in the dark after watching porn on my dad's computer, and he wasn't the secondary school bully I'd been crushing on in secret. This was Dante Deluca who'd probably kissed more people than I'd ever even thought about kissing. I must've seemed like such an idiot! But he seemed to like me being an idiot, so maybe that wasn't so bad.

I gripped his arm and leaned into him, trying to follow his lead through it, trying to remember to relax, remember to breathe, figure out what to do with all the different and awkwardly sized parts of me that seemed to get in the way…

Dante broke the kiss. "Relax, kitten."

My cheeks were burning so hot they hurt. I lowered my head. "I'm so bad at this. You must think I'm a fool."

"I think you're sexy when you blush, and twice as sexy when you're awkward." He tipped my chin up with two fingers, making me look him in the eye. "I like you, Christian."

My heart galloped at the sound of my name—my real name—on his lips. I'd always hated my name and the way everyone said it, which was why I didn't mind the nickname so much. When Dante said it, though, it sent goose bumps racing over my skin and made my cock throb.

"I haven't had sex since I was nineteen," I blurted and suddenly felt like an even bigger fool.

Dante frowned. "But we fooled around just the other day."

"No, I mean…That was…" I sighed. "That was the first time in more than a decade I'd done anything with anyone."

Dante's eyes widened. "You're joking. You're what? Thirty-five?"

"Thirty-six," I mumbled .

"God, man. No wonder you're so uptight. Seventeen years without sex would do that to anyone." He stood and grabbed my hands, kissing my knuckles. "Come on. We've got to make up for lost time!"

"Wait."

He immediately let me go. "If you're not ready, it's okay."

I chewed on my bottom lip, eyes darting toward the laptop screen. Bond made it look so easy. Just show up, say the right things, and women's panties practically flew off for him. I'd never wanted that, but the one time I had an opportunity to be with someone I did like, I was hesitant. Why? Why couldn't I just say yes?

I swallowed and looked up at Dante. "It's not that I don't want to."

"You just don't want to do it with me."

"No, that's not it at all!" I grabbed his hands back. "I do. At least, I think…" I sighed and wiped my hand over my face. "I don't know what I want. This is…it's a lot. I don't want to…" I don't want to be hurt like before.

I swallowed the words I couldn't say and turned away. How was I ever supposed to explain that to Dante? It was easy for him. Just sex. He didn't care about attachments. I wished I could be that way, but I wasn't. Maybe something inside me was broken, but I couldn't do it. Even if my body was completely on board, my heart and mind weren't.

Dante sat back on the sofa, our knees touching, his hands in his lap. "It's okay. I misread some signals. That's my bad."

I put my hand on his knee. "We could just do a little more snogging on the sofa?"

A slow, easy grin spread over his face. "God, I love how British you are," he said and pulled me into another kiss.