Chapter 3

I slideinto the pilot’s seat and glance at Sohven. He’s already strapping in, looking steadily forward. I don’t turn away until he finally meets my gaze.

“Sorry,” I offer with a faint smile. “Forgive me?”

The moment stretches several beats too long, and my mouth starts to go dry as I wait for those night dark eyes of his to spark with life. His expression softens, and the fist clutching my chest releases so I can breathe again.

“Always.”

I want to turn off my translator so I can hear him say it again in his own language. I’ve been practicing more—not enough, but lately I’ve gone without the device for longer than I ever have before. I feel them more now, the gaps between his words and mine, the pieces that get lost in between. I can’t turn off the device now although part of me wants to. There’s no time to stretch my linguistic abilities in the middle of a mission, even if it’s supposed to be low-stakes.

“This shouldn’t take too long,” I say as I set the shuttle running through its launch protocol.

The small craft starts to hum, and I feel a smile curve my lips as my body relaxes deeper into the familiar seat. This feels good—right.

“Would you change it?”

Sohven’s question pulls me out of my trance. I shift my eyes away from the control panel and look his way.

“Change what?”

“What happened to us. If you could erase it all, would you?”

I frown, and I can feel the skin between my brows wrinkle. I haven’t been awake long enough for this discussion. I hit the call button for the airlock and then take us forward. I glance at Sohven again once I hear the first door to the bay clang shut behind us.

“Let me get us off the Queen first, and then we can talk about it, yeah?”

Honestly, I’m not in the mood for another heart-to-heart, but something about Sohven this morning feels so brittle and friable, like he’s all frayed around the edges and it’d only take one snag to pull him apart. If he needs me to hold him together, I will, whatever it takes. Even if it means baring my soul as we hurtle towards Vattla. I just need to get us out of the shuttle bay first.

The blare of the exit alarm is loud enough that we both wince, even though the shuttle muffles it plenty. My body seizes up in that first moment as the bay’s main door slides up, revealing the beautiful immensity of space. It may be deadly, harsh, and lifeless, but the stars have always spelled freedom for me.

I unlock us and the shuttle shoots out away from the ship. I’m grinning as I turn us to face the planet.

“Feels good, doesn’t it?” I’m barely speaking above a whisper, but Sohven still grunts in response.

“You’ll never want to give this up, will you?” He sounds wistful, yearning, and fond all at once.

“No, not for a long time.” I take my eyes off the controls for a second to look at him. “Why? Do you?”

I’m ready to bargain with God or whoever’s out there if only he’ll say no. I don’t think I can give him that if he asks it of me. I don’t want to settle down. I don’t want pleasant domesticity.

“No,” he finally says, the simple word cracking, like he’s got it caught in his big fist and it can’t stay whole under the pressure. “I don’t want you to change. I’m just having trouble not worrying.”

My eyes are back on the read-outs. I make a few adjustments. “I’m sorry. I know everything down there was just as difficult for you, if not more so. It’s just going to take some time for things to feel normal again.”

I don’t say that a month should’ve been enough, or that I’m tired of sacrificing so much mental energy to something that’s over and done with. I bite my tongue and stow it all away. Later. We can do this later.

One of his big hands settles over my thigh, right above my knee. I try not to squirm. I love his touch, but not while I’m piloting our shuttle and watching our angle of attack.

“You’re right, Jhevase. Later,” he says.

Something alarmingly like heartburn takes up residence in my throat. I hadn’t meant to say anything aloud, but it’s too late to take it back now. I give him a brief, sharp nod and focus on the instruments beneath my hands.

Everything looks good so far. I really shouldn’t be strung so tight, but I’m not going to lie—I feel like I have more to prove than normal. Sannaveh went further sideways than a ship with downed stabilizers, and I hated feeling so helpless. All of a sudden that heavy hand on my leg feels like the best thing in the world. He grounds me, just the way he’s always done.

Entry into Vattla’s atmosphere goes as smoothly as it can. The shuttle we’re in is pretty small, but it handles fairly well, and the slight shake to it isn’t bringing up any bad memories. It probably helps that I was unconscious during the crash. I don’t want to think about the state I’d be in if I couldn’t even pilot us down without falling apart.

It doesn’t escape my notice that S’ahveki probably chose this particular mission for us for a reason. The target landing point is in an open valley—no dense, many layered forests here. Younger Jace would’ve bristled at being babied, but today I’m just grateful for my captain’s forethought.

“We’re looking good to land,” I announce for Sohven’s benefit. He can read the control panel as well as I can, but having something to say helps.

He hums low, and the sound stretches before it lilts up like the vocal equivalent of a smile.

“Are you okay with getting back on the ground?” I can’t believe I hadn’t thought to ask him before, but maybe Dan was right to call me out. I’ve been so caught up in my own emotions that I’ve ignored any trepidation Sohven might be feeling.

“Yes.”

He doesn’t waste time letting any doubt creep into the word. His answer is firm, decisive, and unambiguous.

“Good,” I tell him as I switch the view to mixed so I can see a quarter of my screen in live-feed. We’re low enough now that I can just start to make out the land below through a thick bank of clouds. “Are you hoping for excitement, or are you good with staying in the background today?”

He lets the silence hang there between us for a bit, drawing it out. When he finally speaks, I know he just wanted to mess with me. “I accept what the fates bring me,” he says, really laying on the alien mystic schtick thick.

“Cut it out, asshole,” I say with a grin, feeling surprisingly better. “We both know that’s a lie.”

He chuckles beside me, a mix of the human laughter from the translator and his own gruffer huffs of breath. “I never lie, Jhevase. Watch the landing,” he adds as I bring us in.

There’s not really anywhere to hide, but I loop around again to get us behind a low rock outcropping. If someone knew to look, they’d be able to find us easily enough, but it gives us a little cover so we can try to complete a bit of clandestine observation.

“This should be close enough to the drop point that we won’t miss anything. What do you think?” I ask as I hit a button that makes the entire instrument panel go translucent. We can see straight out the front of the shuttle now and take in the barren landscape. The whole place looks like it’s in need of a long drink of water, but I’m happy that at least the humidity should be low.

“It’s good. We shouldn’t have to wait too long, although I doubt the settlers failed to notice our shuttle landing so close to them.”

I shrug my shoulders. “Let’s head for the settlement first then and see how they’re getting on.” We both unstrap ourselves, and I start powering down the shuttle. “Put your finger on the bio-reader,” I tell Sohven.

He does what I ask without any fuss, and I make sure it scans me too as soon as he’s done. I’m not really worried about any of the settlers here trying to make off with our shuttle, but I’m not in the mood to take chances. Now the only two people who’ll be able to get this thing back off the ground will be us.

“Ready?” Sohven asks.

I pat myself down, making sure everything is where it’s supposed to be. “Yep. Let’s go.”

As expected, our arrival at the settlement isn’t exactly a surprise. I’m sure S’ahveki will understand that there’s not really any way to hide when you land in a valley that’s not growing much besides scrub. I move ahead, making sure I’m the first one of us the people there see. They may not all be human, but I’m still a lot less threatening than Sohven. His species has a bit of a reputation around the galaxy, and his size doesn’t help with the intimidation factor either.

Once the people ahead look closer to life-size than they do a scurrying colony of ants, I lift my arm and wave. Another big guy separates from the rest, coming out first to meet us. I glance at Sohven, but his expression remains shielded. He must not recognize him from the intel briefs either.

“Hello. I’m Jace Cesari and this is Sohen Onava. We’re with the Little Ships. You should be expecting a new round of arrivals this afternoon.”

I’d offer my hand, but the man looks more liable to bite it than shake it. He’s human, or something like it—maybe modified or enhanced somehow if I had to guess.

“I’m Ricky Hernandez. We weren’t expecting any other visitors. Usually we’re informed if guests are planning to enter the settlement. Unexpected arrivals make everyone a little jumpy, you understand?”

I flash him a grin and show my palms. “Of course, but we just want to make sure everything’s running smoothly. We know that new people joining the settlement can put a strain on resources and it’s important to make sure you all have everything you need to succeed.”

I start walking again, but Hernandez doesn’t move.

“We’re good,” he says.

My grin is barely there this time. “We’re going to have to see for ourselves, thanks.”

My shoulder brushes his as I walk past, and I don’t like the way the others waiting at the settlement are watching us. Too much bated breath, like they’re hoping for some entertainment. What’s that people say? No good deed goes unpunished? Sounds about right.

The settlement should be a fairly diverse mix of species, but I’m only seeing a whole lot of humans. I bury the urge to sigh. Maybe S’ahveki wasn’t trying to go as easy on us on our first mission since Sanneveh as I’d thought. Vattla is shaping up to be plenty troublesome if the first ten minutes on the ground is any indication.

“Nice to see you, everyone. My partner and I are just here to make sure you have everything you need and that the micro-farms are working well enough to support your numbers.”

I get a round of blank stares in response, and that sigh slips out after all.

“Bring out the rest of your people.”

I try not to feel insulted by the way they all come to attention at the sound of Sohven’s deep voice. As long as they do what we need them to, it shouldn’t matter which one of us they choose to listen to. It still stings a little, though.

Now I see the Jaal and Soovil, along with a few staggered groups of Achlak clustered among the shadows cast by the habitats set up to the side like a small village. The humans who initially appeared to either be guarding or holding the settlement hostage seem to be the minority. I don’t like the cowed way the rest of the people are looking towards Hernandez and the others. It looks like S’ahveki’s intelligence was right and things are out of balance here.

Not all of the people we rescue come to settlements like these. Many return to their home planets or stations, but some just have nowhere else to go, or at least no place where they have any interest in returning. It isn’t really our responsibility to run these settlements, but if there’s one thing S’ahveki’s lacking, it isn’t a pronounced and unwarranted sense of obligation.

I can’t always tell gender among the Soovil, but I’m fairly certain the person currently approaching is female from the size of her ears. Dan’s brought a few ladies of his species back to the ship when we’ve made stops at the bigger space stations, and I’ve gotten pretty good at recognizing the difference.

“I’m Flalichmagiinol.” I try not to blink after that mouthful. There’s a reason our fellow crewmate chooses to go by Dan. “I’ve been leading the planting of the micro-farms.”

“Great. Can you show us how things are going?” I request as I scan the area looking for the big hoop houses that should be erected somewhere nearby.

Flalichma—okay, I give up. That’s as much as I’ve got, and I’m not even going to try to guess the rest. Our lead Soovil farmer shifts from foot to foot as her bushy tail thrashes behind her. She’s not even attempting to hide her agitation, and I don’t like it.

I get a whiff of ripe sweat and musk and then feel hot breath near the nape of my neck.

“We’re good here. Flal is doing just fine with the plantings.”

I easily recognize Hernandez’s voice, and I roll my shoulders back before I turn around to face him. “Glad to hear it, but I still need to see it,” I tell him.

He moves his mouth funny like he’s chewing cud, and I wonder if he’s gotten some chaw off one of the Achlak. We’re already standing close enough that one more step would have us bumping chests, so I don’t really expect it when his hand falls on my shoulder and he leans in. I get another hit of sweat and something vaguely herbal before a blur of gray and red fills my vision. There’s a heavy thud and a few shouts, but I’m distracted by the smack of a familiar wing against my forearm.

“Keep your hands to yourself, human.” Sohven sounds like he eats boulders for breakfast as he seethes at Hernandez, and his wings lift and lower above his shoulders with each breath.

I bite my tongue—quite literally—to keep from shouting. I’m not going to argue with my partner down here, but I’m definitely not pleased with his interference.

“I think we’re good here. Hernandez was just being extra friendly,” I say, keeping my tone dry. “If someone can just take us around the settlement on a quick tour, we’ll head out soon. You’ve got new people coming, and we know you want to be prepared for them.”

Some of the onlookers scatter, while Flal and a few others move closer. One nods towards an area behind the habitats and starts walking. I follow, and I don’t look back to see what Sohven’s up to now. I don’t even let myself think about him. If I do, I’ll get too angry to hide it.

The micro-farms look decent enough from the outside. I step into the first enclosure, and I don’t see any issues with the plantings.

“Is everyone getting enough to eat here? Any issues I should know about?” I ask the small group who chose to accompany me.

“No, not really. Hernandez and his friends like to do their patrols, but most of us just ignore them. Early on, a few wild animals came up to the habitats, but they’ve stayed away since. He talks a lot about protecting the camp, but that’s all it is—talk.”

I give the Alchak male who spoke a nod. “Thanks for the information. We don’t have any interest in controlling you down here, but we don’t want anyone trading one bad situation for another. These settlements are supposed to be places where people can start over.”

“It is. None of us want to leave Vattla. Tell your Lohnya warrior that we don’t need protection,” Flal says, her tail stiffening up so that the tip almost vibrates above her arm.

“I’ll deliver the message,” I reply with a forced grin before I lead the way out of the hoop house. “Contact us if anything changes,” I add.

Lohnya—Sohven’s people. I’m not surprised the settlers don’t welcome his aggression. Normally Sohven’s very careful about how he carries himself and just how deep he lets his voice fall. He knows what people say about his species, but he sure didn’t hold back today.

When we reach the center of the settlement again, Sohven is standing warily to one side, dark eyes darting from person to person like he’s anticipating an attack. There’s no sign of Hernandez or his cronies. Sohven’s frantic gaze halts on me as soon as I enter his field of vision. My lips lift in a snarl of a grin as I fail to hold back my anger.

“Ready?” I ask.

Sohven takes in the settlement with one last slow turn of his head. “Ready,” he replies. “Let’s head out.”

He doesn’t move to walk at my side. He stays put until he can shield my retreat with his larger body. I grit my teeth, but I keep going. We’ll head towards the drop point where our sister ship will be landing, oversee the transfer of the new settlers, and then have our brief flight back to the Queen, but then Sohven and I are going to have words. I don’t look at him as I head towards the other side of the outcropping where we parked the shuttle, although I do give the settlers another wave.

“Jhevase?”

I shake my head and keep walking.

“Later,” I tell him. “Later.”

We timed our mission well. We don’t have to wait all that long for the Skipjack to land. I pace a bit, getting some of that dirt-side exertion that I’d claimed I wanted as I avoid the looming discussion with Sohven. The transport ship touches down without any issues, and I smile when I see a familiar face exit first.

“Ritsu! It’s been ages. How are you?” I call out as I move closer to the ship. I wait for him to come to me. I have no interest in spooking the new settlers.

Nalmo, a big Alchak who’s served on a few shared missions, gives me a nod of his scaly head, but he doesn’t speak. We don’t know each other all that well, so I’m not offended. Ritsu punches my bicep before he sweeps an arm around my shoulders and laughs.

“Good to see you out and about. Last I heard, you were in some deep shit. Amnesia and a crashed ship? Damn, man.” He shakes his head. “Better you than me.”

“Yeah, it was a little rough, but we got through everything alright and my memory is back to normal now.” I pull away from Ritsu and glance back at Sohven. “Sohen was with me, otherwise it probably would’ve gone a lot worse.”

“That’s right—Sohen. I forgot he was part of your crew.” Ritsu nods, but turns away quickly. He grabs my forearm and grins. “Unless you found any issues at the settlement, I think we’re good here, but keep in touch. We should get together the next time we land at the same spaceport. It’d be good to catch up.”

“Sure thing,” I say as I step back and pull my arm along with me. Sohven and I may have our issues to work out once we’re back on the Queen, but that doesn’t mean I’m okay with Ritsu dismissing him.

About eight people of various species trail out slowly behind Nalmo. I give the group a nod and a smile. I hope Vattla works out for them, but I’m eager to leave the planet behind. I don’t have to look to the side to know that Sohven’s drawn up next to me. The air displaces, the ground shifts, and my mind rests easier. Whatever it is that’s got him all wound up, I’ll get to the bottom of it. I can’t afford not to—he’s my anchor, he’s the compass that keeps me turned right. If Sannaveh-8B didn’t break us, the aftermath sure as hell won’t.