Chapter 47

Forty-Seven

IZZY

C hristian arrives at the house only a few minutes later.

I honestly didn’t expect him to show up. I mean, Hale and Gerry are attending the barbecue as well. They could’ve easily driven me.

Yet…

My heart does a strange little jig in my chest as soon as I catch sight of him. I have no idea why, besides the fact that he’s the sexiest man I’ve ever seen in my life. Or maybe it’s because he stares at me with an intensity that takes my breath away. Or it’s because he’s one of the only supernaturals in town that I feel like I can talk to and rely on. Or it’s because?—

Enough already! I internally chastise myself, racing for the door.

Jake beats me to it.

He throws it open with a wide, shit-eating grin on his face and a mischievous twinkle in his baby-blue eyes. I want to snap at him, but…I’ve missed seeing him smile. Really fucking missed it.

“Well, well, well. Hello, Mr. Montgomery. What is the vice principal doing at our house on a weekend?” Jake leans against the doorjamb as if he hasn’t a care in the world.

I can’t see Christian’s face from where I’m standing, but I hear his answer crystal clear.

“I’m here to pick up Izzy.”

“Hmmm.” Jake taps a finger against his chin in contemplation. “Isn’t that a tad inappropriate?”

I change my mind.

I want to kill him.

But then Christian answers again, and the breath leaves me. “It probably is, but she’s eighteen, and I’m only a few years older than her. And I don’t even want to be a damn vice principal but was forced into the job by my father. What are they going to do? Fire me?” He scoffs and then chuckles. “Good riddance.”

Jake appears stunned, but whether it’s because of Christian’s answer or his blunt candor eludes me.

My foster brother shakes his head, as if attempting to clear it, and then asks, “Is she your mate too? I know Hale and Gerry said?—”

Oh fuck.

Nope.

Not having this conversation.

Quickly, I hurry the last few feet forward and use my hip to push Jake out of the way.

“We’re not mates!” My voice is embarrassingly high-pitched.

Something in Christian’s expression shifts, like a bloated storm cloud blocking the sun.

Suspicion causes my eyes to narrow. “We’re not mates, right?” I repeat. “Because if we are, and you kept it from me, I would be very, very, very, very, very?—”

”Very,” Jake interjects pointedly.

I nod decisively. “Yes. I would be very, very, very, very, very, very?—”

”Very,” Jake interrupts again.

“Upset,” I finish.

And angry.

And stabby.

And murderous.

And…betrayed.

I have been lied to by almost every person I care about. Even my own damn social worker kept the truth from me about who I am and where I came from. Christian was one of the only people I thought I could rely on, could trust, could talk to.

His words from my eighteenth birthday play on a loop in my head.

“It means you’re mine, little human. It means you belong to the wolves.”

Christian can’t be my mate, can he? No. He’s a lone wolf, and they don’t get mates. Right?

Or is it that they don’t have a pack?

Can they have a mate but not a pack?

Why the fuck isn’t there a Dummy’s Guide to Pack Politics available for me to read?

My head begins to spin, and a strange, prickling heat invades my body.

A few things occur to me in rapid succession.

Christian’s interest in me.

His invitation to the barbecue.

His possessive, growled, “Mine.”

His willingness to give me answers.

“No,” I breathe, my voice taking on a hollow edge.

Panic flares to life in his eyes, and he holds both hands in the air as if attempting to fend off a rabid dog, one foaming at the mouth. “Izzy, please?—”

“Oh shit.” Jake volleys his gaze between the two of us, his blond brows nearly touching his hairline. “Is he your mate too? I was just teasing him before, but?—”

“Let me explain,” Christian pleads as the final pieces of the puzzle click together.

I don’t like the final image it creates.

Not one fucking bit.

“You kept this from me,” I manage to grit out, ice trickling into my veins.

I feel cold all over, a startling contrast to the almost blistering heat I felt moments before.

That heat…

It should’ve been the first indication.

I always feel as if I’m on fire when I’m around one of my so-called mates.

“You told me the truth about shifters, but that was to only keep me complacent, wasn’t it? To stop me from asking more questions?”

“No, that’s not true.” Christian shakes his head dogmatically. “I always wanted to tell you the truth?—”

“Then answer this for me.” I take a single step closer, craning my neck so I can maintain eye contact. “Am I or am I not your mate?”

He opens and closes his mouth. Gaping. Floundering. Struggling to find the words.

And that…

That is the only answer I need.

Betrayal seeps into my veins, caustic and bitter, full of unencumbered resentment.

Finally, he croaks out, “It’s not that simple?—”

“Seems simple,” Jake cuts in, anger tightening the lines on his face.

Christian’s eyes sharpen on my foster brother, which infuriates me further. No one is allowed to glare at Jake. No one.

Except for me, but that’s beside the point.

“Answer the question, Christian,” I snap.

Jake moves back to the kitchen, no doubt to give us privacy, as I wait for Christian to respond. I can practically see the wheels turning in his head.

“It’s complicated?—”

“Wrong answer,” I seethe, just as Jake reappears behind me.

In his hands is one of the largest steak knives we own. Without a word, he hands it to me.

Christian’s eyes bulge out of his head as he focuses on the weapon.

“I know you probably have a knife on you somewhere,” Jake says casually, “but this one is bigger.”

“I like bigger,” I tell him with a fond smile.

Jake smirks. “Baby, I can show you big?—”

The growl that leaves Christian then causes the hairs on both of my arms to stand straight up. His teeth elongate into sharp-looking fangs, and fur explodes on his forehead and cheeks.

Jake appears pleased by Christian’s reaction.

“I fucking knew it!” He pauses. “Actually, I didn’t know it. At all. But I suspected five minutes ago, which totally counts.”

“Jake?” I glance at him over my shoulder, which is the wrong thing to do, apparently.

Christian snarls fiercely and takes a single step forward. I swear he seems to broaden—his shoulders turn bulkier until they can barely fit through the door, and his chest doubles in size.

“Yeah?” Jake asks innocently.

“You should probably run.”

Jake rolls his eyes then turns towards Christian. “I don’t want to fuck your mate, man. Chill out.”

My right eye begins to twitch. “Did you just tell the scary wolf shifter to chill out?”

He shrugs. “It’s not like he can kill me. I’m already dead, remember?”

My god. The men in my life are going to kill me at this rate.

I squeeze the bridge of my nose and release a long-suffering sigh. “Go get Hale and Gerry please. Then stay in your room.”

Jake, unable to help himself, asks, “Will you be joining me in my room? Naked, preferably. I like dem titties.”

Christian’s growl can probably be heard miles away, and I move to stand in front of him immediately. This… This isn’t Christian. I’ve suspected as much from the very first growl. When I stare into his burning amber eyes, I don’t see the man I’ve come to know. All that remains is the beast I haven’t met yet.

Jake, apparently, is a damn psychopath because he laughs uproariously before practically skipping away. That’s another thing I’ll need to look into, but later.

“Christian?” I ask, desperately trying to pull his attention back to me.

He continues to glare in the direction Jake retreated, the fur spreading down his neck and to his arms.

I notice, belatedly, that he doesn’t shift the way the others do. They transform into large wolves. But with Christian… It’s like the wolf transforms into him . That’s the only way I can think to describe it, and it terrifies the shit out of me.

“Look at me!” I bark, discarding the knife on the entryway table and then pushing up on my tiptoes to cup his cheeks between my hands.

He tries to pull away, but I hold firm, refusing to release him. I’m still so fucking angry at him for keeping this a secret from me, but…

But I think I see why he did it.

He told me before that he’s a lone wolf, and that over time, lone wolves tend to go feral.

Is this what he means by that?

Is that why he kept the mating bond a secret?

What the hell is even happening to him right now?

I remember how I comforted Reid before in the theater, and I attempt to emulate that now, infusing my voice with confidence I don't truly feel.

“Look at me, Christian Montgomery.” I guide his eyes to mine. “Jake and I have never slept together, nor will we ever.” I scrunch my nose in disgust. “He’s practically my brother. He was just trying to punish you for keeping this a secret from me.” The reminder of what he kept from me makes my hands tighten on his cheeks, my nails digging in. I force my fingers to relax, though it’s surprisingly difficult. “Calm the fuck down.”

Christian focuses on me, only on me, and gradually, the fur begins to recede from his skin. Then his fangs shrink back into his mouth, and his eyes return to their normal vibrant blue. He pants heavily, shock splayed across his face, but I keep my hands on his cheeks until I’m certain he’s back.

“What the fuck was that?” I blurt, taking a step away, my arms falling uselessly to my sides.

Surprisingly, the answer doesn’t come from Christian but from directly behind me.

Hale and Gerry stand shoulder to shoulder, their arms touching and their expressions tense.

“You already know that lone wolves tend to go feral,” Hale says gravely, his eyes flicking past me to land on Christian. “It seems as if Mr. Montgomery is further along than any of us would’ve suspected.”

A cold chill skitters down my spine. It’s hard to swallow around the ball of fire residing in my throat.

“That’s what it looks like when a wolf goes feral?” I whisper.

Christian gently tugs on my hand, forcing me to spin back around to face him.

“Not entirely,” he confesses. “But it’s about the halfway point.” He swallows, and I watch his throat bob with the movement. “The first stage always revolves around shifting. It becomes harder for a lone wolf to shift into his wolf form. Then, when the shifter begins to feel a strong emotion like jealousy or lust or anger, the wolf is able to shift into a human .”

“Think of the Wolf Man from the movies,” Gerry interjects. “A humanoid figure with wolf-like characteristics.”

“A feral wolf,” I breathe in understanding.

All three men nod.

“A feral wolf,” Christian agrees. “And after a while, it becomes impossible for the human to take back control at all from the wolf. It’s why our kind lives out their lives in the forest. It’s the only way to protect the people we care about.”

Understanding dawns on me. “Is that why you didn’t tell me about the mating bond?”

A deep-rooted anguish manifests in Christian’s eyes, and the sight of it causes my heart to clench. I was so, so angry moments ago, but now I just feel…sad. Defeated.

“I knew that if I allowed myself to get close to you, my wolf would get closer and closer to the surface. I wouldn’t be able to hold him back.”

And then he’ll be lost to his wolf forever…

I stumble back a step as if I’ve been physically shot. “But you invited me to the barbecue. You asked me to go with you. You?—”

Christian matches my step backwards with one forward. His earnest blue eyes ensnare my own, and I feel like a tiny bunny staring down the notch of a hunter’s bow.

“I couldn’t resist you anymore, Izzy. I didn’t want to.” He runs a hand through his hair and then blows out a jittery breath. “I figured that if I was going to go insane, then I’d rather do it on my own time. I wanted to get to know you, even if it was just for a short while. Maybe that makes me selfish, but I’m tired of fighting what I’m feeling. I planned on telling you the truth today, actually.”

He takes another step closer until he’s towering over me, but I no longer feel small and defenseless. There’s so much wistful vulnerability in his eyes, so much hope, that one thing becomes abundantly clear—he’s granting me all of the power.

Emotion tunnels into my throat and forms a thick ball of tension that makes it hard to breathe.

“I think this is our cue to leave,” Hale whispers, and I don’t know if he’s talking to me or Gerry.

“And here I was thinking this would be better with popcorn,” Gerry responds.

A second later, their footsteps retreat down the hall.

“You shouldn’t have invited me,” I whisper, wishing that each word didn’t chisel away a tiny piece of my heart. “If your wolf reacts so strongly to my presence, then we need to stay away from each other. We need?—”

“I don’t want to,” Christian responds firmly. His hands ball into fists by his sides, as if he’s physically restraining himself from reaching for me. “I don’t know how I was blessed with you as a mate. It’s rare for a lone wolf to receive one, but not impossible.” He shakes his head in confusion. “I tried to do what was best for both of us, but I don’t want to pretend anymore. When you came into my office the other day and confided in me, I realized that…” He blows out a shaky breath. “I realized that I wanted to get to know you. It isn’t fair that my brother and his pack are allowed to, despite not deserving you for even a second, yet I have to watch from the sidelines. I know it’s selfish of me?—”

“I don’t think you’re selfish.” My heart pounds against my breastbone. “Before you returned to the school as the vice principal, you were living in the forest, correct?”

He blanches, all of the color draining from his face, but nods once. “I built a tiny cabin a few miles away from everyone.”

“Because you wanted to protect the people you love?” I phrase it as a question, but I know it’s the truth.

Still, Christian nods once more, the barest dip of his chin. “I wasn’t sure when the wolf would take over. I needed to protect my friends and family.”

“But when your father asked you to come back, you did, didn’t you?”

His brows scrunch together in confusion. “How did you know that?”

“Besides what I overheard you say to Jake?” I shrug. “I suspected for a while that you didn’t want to be here. I just didn’t understand why you came back. Now it makes sense. Your father asked you to do something for him, didn’t he?”

Shock flickers in his blue eyes, accompanied by a myriad of other emotions I can’t read, before he nods yet again.

“Can you tell me why your father asked for you to come back?” I query.

Once again, he nods.

I think I broke him.

I’m not sure he’s even capable of speech at the moment.

“Okay. We can talk more in the car.” I reach for my phone and slip it into my back pocket.

Christian watches me in wide-eyed disbelief as I walk past him and head towards his silver Volvo.

Confusion scrunches his brows together. “You’re still coming with me?”

I pause and glance back at him. He still stands on the front porch of the house, the sunlight shining on the dark strands of his hair, making some of them appear almost blue. His leather jacket clings to his muscular shoulders but is unzipped to reveal a light-gray shirt. The color contrasts strikingly with his eyes.

“Obviously, I’m pissed you kept this a secret from me,” I confess. “I hate being lied to, and I hate being played like a fool.”

He looks as if he wants to say something, maybe argue, but I continue before he can get a word out.

“But unlike what happened with the others, I understand why you did it. You were trying to protect me and yourself. And…not a misguided type of protection either.” I lower my voice in a piss-poor impersonation of Ashton. “ I don’t want you in my world because it’s dangerous and you’re human and we’re big, strong wolves and blah, blah, blah. ”

The corner of his lips twitches upwards. “Did my idiotic brother actually say that?”

“It was implied.” I match his smile with one of my own before allowing it to fall. “I’m not saying I’m going to run off to the wedding chapel with you just yet, but we do need to talk. Set things straight.”

“We do.”

“Because I’m not just mates with you,” I warn him, gauging his reaction carefully.

I have no idea if this will set his wolf off or not.

“I know that.” His gaze remains serene.

“I’m not saying that I’m desperately in love with Ashton, Reid, Emery, or Ethan, but they are, apparently, my mates.”

“I understand.”

I wince before blurting out, “And I slept with my best friend, Grayson. And I also have feelings for my friend Ansel. And I kissed Reid. And I want to kiss the twins.”

Oh god.

When did I develop such a bad case of verbal diarrhea?

Kill. Me. Now.

Fortunately, Christian doesn’t appear upset by my proclamation. If anything, his smile widens, amusement dancing in his blue eyes.

“I’ve been watching you like a creeper for a while now, Izzy. I know that you have feelings for the others.” He rubs at his jawline almost absently, the skin there covered by a day’s worth of stubble. “I think we should all sit down and discuss things. I assume Grayson and Ansel know about the supernatural world?”

“Grayson does. Ansel just learned about it,” I confess.

He nods as if he suspected as much, and I wonder if someone spilled the beans.

“I notice that you didn’t mention Ashton at all. You don’t want to kiss my brother?” His tone turns mocking, almost sardonic, and I have to bite my lip to keep from chuckling.

“Of course not. I honestly want to punch the little punk in the face.”

Christian laughs out loud at that—a jovial, uninhibited sound that makes my chest and cheeks flush.

“Join the club, sweetheart.”

My heart skips a beat at the term of endearment, but I keep my expression calm.

“It’s a thirty-minute drive to the barbecue, correct?” I continue moving until I reach the passenger side of the car.

Christian, after only a moment of indecision, hurries to follow me, unlocking the car and slipping into the driver’s seat.

“Yeah,” he finally answers after he has the seat belt on and the car started. “Why do you ask?”

“Thirty minutes is enough time to get some answers,” I respond. “I want to know everything about us, the mating bond, and why you were called back here by your father.”

“That might be longer than thirty minutes, sweetheart.” He blows out a breath, his hands clenching around the steering wheel.

I reach over my chest to grab my seat belt and buckle it in.

“Then take the scenic route. Because by the time we get to the barbecue, I want answers. All of them. No holding things back or keeping things from me. I already told the others this, but I’ll tell you now… There are only so many times I can forgive someone for lying to me. This is your one chance, Christian. Don’t blow it.”