Chapter 45

Forty-Five

IZZY

O ur lips touch for a fraction of a second. His stubble grazes my jawline in a way that shouldn’t feel as good as it does.

But before I can deepen the kiss, before I can take things further, Reid pulls away, practically stumbling over himself in his haste to escape me. The lightning zipping through my veins transforms into a tempest, tumultuous and all-consuming. A strange combination of panic and embarrassment seizes my lungs, especially when I catch sight of the disgust on Reid’s face.

“I’m…sorry,” I say, though my words feel inadequate.

Reid just confessed something horrific to me, and I immediately go and assault him. I can’t even imagine what he thinks of me.

Reid looks everywhere but at me. One of his hands creeps up to absently scratch at a pimple on his wrist.

“We should go,” he tells me gruffly.

I open my mouth but immediately close it. I honestly don’t know what to say. I feel like shit, and more than that, his rejection hurt .

Reid doesn’t say anything more as he leads me towards his parked bike, but his silence speaks volumes. He holds himself with a sort of rigid tension I wish I could take from him.

Without any fanfare, Reid hands me the jacket and helmet once more. I put both on without complaint.

Reid’s heart beats against my palm as I curl up against him from behind, my legs on either side of his own. His large hands capture mine and give them a squeeze. The connection’s brief—there and gone before I can compute it—but a fluttery sensation explodes inside of me regardless.

Instead of taking me back to school, Reid drives me to Hale and Gerry’s house. He pulls the bike to a stop behind Jake’s car.

Over the roar of the motor, I struggle to put my thoughts into words.

“Thank you,” I say at last, pulling off the helmet and shaking out my hair. “For telling me what happened.”

Reid grunts and averts his eyes, almost as if it pains him to look at me.

“And for the record…” I begin, unzipping the jacket. “I don’t think you’re ugly or disgusting.”

At that, his gaze snaps to mine, disbelief evident on his face. He snorts and rolls his eyes.

Those eyes…

They’re certainly not ugly. They’re warm and expressive and open and so damn vulnerable that my breath leaves me.

“You’re not,” I insist, and I find that I mean it. Maybe at first, I was put off by his smell and looks, but none of that bothers me anymore. Knowing what I do, having heard about his past, I find him even more attractive. “I think you’re sexy, if I’m being honest.”

One red brow quirks. “Sexy?”

“What can I say? I have a thing for tall, dark, and dangerous.” I give him an impish grin as he continues to stare at me as if I’m insane.

His throat works. “Why…? Why are you saying this?”

“Because it’s the truth.”

“I see myself in the mirror, Izzy, and I know I’m not sexy. Maybe before…” He shakes his head as a bitter grin tugs up his lips. “Maybe I could’ve been the mate you needed, but that Reid died a long time ago.”

I kind of want to punch him in the face.

Why can’t he see what I see?

Nothing I say now will convince him otherwise. Michelle and Dyson did more than just curse him—they destroyed a vital piece of him, the part that believes he can love and be loved in return.

I didn’t think it was possible to hate the bitch more than I currently do.

“Well, I think you’re sexy.” I offer him a one-shouldered shrug before pivoting on my heel. “Thank you for the ride.”

“Wait.” His fingers catch in the waistband of my pants.

Sparks skitter up my skin where he touches my bare skin.

“Yes?” I give him a coy look over my shoulder.

At least, I hope it’s coy. Knowing my luck, I probably look constipated.

Indecision splays across his face. I don’t dare move—don’t dare even breathe—as he wrestles with emotions I can’t quite name.

Then, with an almost blistering speed, he spins me back around and wraps an arm around my waist. The sparks turn into a full-on inferno from my head to the tips of my toes. Warmth envelops me in a steaming embrace.

This kiss is different from the last one.

Everything we’ve been through, everything he confessed, culminates into one indecipherable emotion—an emotion I can feel skating through my veins. They whirl inside of me like a tornado as I push up onto my tiptoes and dig my fingers into his hair.

He doesn’t move his hands from where they’re touching my bare skin, a mere inch above the waistband of my pants. But his lips…

His lips devour mine.

His tongue tentatively tangles with mine, and I open for him, wanting more, wanting everything.

I swear when I run my fingers through the garnet strands of his hair, they feel silky to the touch. Not greasy or dirty. When his lips leave mine to trail kisses across my cheek and jawline, I don’t feel the texture of blemished skin. No acne or scars.

One of his hands slowly creeps up my side below my shirt, brushing against the underside of my breast, directly below my satin bra.

I moan against his mouth.

A part of me wants to take this even further—to know what it would be like to be destroyed by Reid and then remade by his hands.

But now isn’t the time or place.

We’re directly in front of my foster parents’ home, and who knows who’s watching? Besides, there’s so much I have to think about when it comes to these men.

My feelings for Ansel and Grayson, for starters.

My attraction towards Christian.

My anger whenever I even think about Ashton.

And my complicated feelings for the twins and Reid.

It takes every ounce of self-control I possess, but I manage to stop the kiss before it can escalate.

Lust tripling my heart rate, I put a hand on Reid’s chest and gently push him away. He’s the size of a giant, but it takes no force at all to move him.

He stares at me as if in a daze, his eyes slightly glassy and his lips swollen.

And for a moment—for a brief, brief moment—his face is ethereal, devoid of any blemishes, and his hair is full and shiny. Then I blink, and the Reid I’ve come to know and care about returns to me.

No less beautiful, at least in my mind.

“Do you believe me now?” I ask, my lips quirking upwards.

I wonder if they look as swollen as they feel.

He blinks. “I…errr…yes?”

“I have to go, but I’ll talk to you later, okay?”

He still seems dazed, but he manages a tiny nod. “Errr…okay.”

I push up on my tiptoes and plant a chaste kiss on the corner of his mouth. Crimson immediately crawls up his neck and settles in his cheeks.

He ducks his head.

I wave goodbye as I bound up the steps to the front door, though I don’t immediately go inside. Instead, I watch him, waiting for him to get his thoughts in order.

He touches his lips with a tiny smile then immediately drops his hand. Frowns. Scowls. Turns towards his bike.

And I notice that this time, just before he drives away, he puts on the helmet and jacket.