Chapter 12

Twelve

GRAYSON

T his kiss is different from the last one we shared.

That one…

That one was fucking amazing. She was amazing. It was everything I never knew I wanted but now crave with the entirety of my being.

But this…

This is something else entirely.

I swear my soul claws its way out of my body in a desperate bid to merge itself with Izzy’s. I can feel her inside of me—her essence oozing through my veins, filling every part of me. Even without the necklace, I know I’d feel her heartbeat. Taste the sweetness of her desire mingled with the bitter flavor of her fear. Hear her shallow breaths as she pants against my mouth. Smell her desire.

I’m not just one person anymore. I’m me…but I’m also her.

Mate.

My mate.

My heart jackhammers in my chest as I deepen the kiss, tangling my tongue with hers.

I always knew Izzy was different, but never in my wildest fantasies did I expect this .

Mates for vampires are immensely rare. So rare that most people think the bond is an urban legend. A myth.

Our Elders believe that all vampires have shifter blood in them—but the blood is diluted, having not been prevalent for generations. They claim that the first vampire was a product of two lone wolves mating. Their offspring became a creature that could only be satisfied by consuming blood.

I don’t know for sure if that’s true, but I do know that vampires used to experience a mating bond similar to the one shifters have with their Heart.

And this…

This incessant tugging in the center of my chest…

This merging of souls…

This heat that’s sweeping through me like a forest fire…

I know without a shadow of a doubt that it’s a mating bond.

Izzy. Is. Mine.

I always knew it, always felt it, but could never articulate it with words. From the very first moment she looked at me with those striking, fearless blue eyes, I was a goner. And I’ve fallen harder each and every day.

Joy explodes inside of me.

Mate.

My mate.

But then Izzy’s next words douse the growing elation like water thrown on a bonfire.

“Wait. Wait. Wait.” She pushes at my shoulders, and I immediately pull away, my lips swollen from the force of her kisses.

Izzy looks beautifully flushed in the moonlight snaking through the blinds in silver ribbons. Her blonde hair is disheveled from my fingers, and her pink lips are puffy. Satisfaction reverberates through me at the sight of her so unkempt.

Then I focus on her words.

“You need to explain things to me, Grayson. How long have you been a vampire? How did you get free of the wolves? Where even were you? Did you do what they accused you of? What about your girlfriend?”

The last thing I want to do is answer any of those questions—not when the majority of them can see her harmed or even killed. There’s a reason I kept this secret from her, and it’s not because I’m an asshole. I’ve wanted to tell her for years now about the supernatural world, but vampires are different from shifters.

We’re volatile.

Angry.

Bitter.

Bloodthirsty.

My mom—may the bitch burn in hell for all of eternity—once told me that vampires are so wrathful because we’re disconnected from our animal counterpart. According to her, we all have dormant beasts deep inside of us struggling to rise their way to the surface.

I think she’s full of shit. I haven’t felt anything resembling a wolf in my entire life, let alone any other animal.

All I know is that I need blood to silence the voices in my head, to create some semblance of order out of the dissonant chaos.

Like the wolf shifters, the vampires are ruled by a Council as well—what we call the Elders. All of them have been alive longer than I can comprehend and hate humans almost as much as they hate shifters.

If they knew about Izzy, about my feelings for her…

They’ll kill her just to hurt me.

My position in vampiric society doesn’t allow for me to have any attachments. From the very first moment I saw her, I knew I had to keep her a secret.

So I chose to shield her from the paranormal world the best I could.

But apparently that wasn’t enough.

Someone told her the truth, and if I had to hazard a guess, I would say it was one of those idiotic wolf shifters who constantly hang off of her. They should be grateful I don’t drain them dry and leave their corpses for their asshole parents to find.

I don’t say all of that to Izzy, however. Instead, I tell her what I can.

“I didn’t kill those women. I promise you.” But I did unintentionally help the murderer who did. Indignant anger races through me—along with guilt—but I shove them both down before they can fester. “I work for the Elders?—”

“The Elders?” She tilts her head to the side in confusion.

“They’re sort of like the wolf shifter Council,” I explain, reaching around her to grab my water bottle yet again. All of this talking has caused my throat to start acting up. It aches fiercely, almost as if someone took sandpaper to the skin there. “I…do odd jobs for them.”

That’s one way of saying I’ve been their personal assassin for the last ten or so years of my life.

Izzy’s eyebrows scrunch together. “Okay…?”

“Someone discovered that and got a hold of me. Wanted me to dig up some dirt on a few wolf shifters.” I swallow around the lump of guilt in my throat.

If I would’ve known that my actions would lead to those women’s deaths, would I have done anything differently? I’d like to say yes, but I still remember the fear I felt when they threatened me with Izzy. Somehow, someway, they discovered what she meant to me and threatened to kill her if I didn’t comply.

I don’t say that to Izzy. The last thing I want is for her to feel guilt for my actions.

Izzy’s eyes widen in horror as understanding dawns. “Those women…”

“They were female shifters. I swear to you I didn’t know they would be killed. Once the first girl was murdered, I tried to back out, but…”

They threatened you. Told me they’ll chop you up into tiny pieces and deliver each one to me every day for the rest of my life.

I take another swig from my water bottle before continuing. “That shit with Sidney… I swear to you it meant nothing. She was just a way for me to receive insight on the wolf shifters. I never kissed her or even touched her. I promise you.”

There was one time Sidney tried to seduce me. I remember she asked me to meet her at her apartment before dinner, and when I arrived, she was sitting on the couch in nothing but a lacy teddy that left little to the imagination.

I turned right the fuck around.

“Your wolf… friends were right to arrest me. I’m sure my actions looked pretty damning.” I flex my fingers on her waist before I reluctantly release her. “They took me to the Council building, and I was interviewed by some shifters. And then…”

“And then?” she presses, when it becomes apparent I’m not going to immediately continue.

“And then I discovered that my contact—the Hunter who killed those wolves—was another wolf shifter.”

Her breath hitches. “What?”

“I met with one of the higher-ranking Councilmembers. Matthew, I believe his name was. I think he’s the father of those wolf shifter twins. Anyway, I told him what I knew, and he let me go.”

“Just like that?” Her brows arrow downwards suspiciously, and I have to hold in my bark of humorless laughter.

No, it wasn’t “just like that,” but this is another thing I don’t want to share with Izzy.

She doesn’t need to know that they dragged me out of my cell and threw me into a separate room, which consisted of a tiny chair and a table full of torture equipment.

She doesn’t need to know that I screamed myself raw after hours and hours of torture.

She doesn’t need to know that only my enhanced healing capabilities helped eliminate the majority of my bruises and scars.

When Matthew eventually walked into the room, I thought this was my end. I thought I would die. But he demanded the torturer stop what he was doing at once. I told Matthew everything I knew about Kain and his involvement, and surprisingly, Matthew listened.

“I suspected something was going on for a while,” he said. “Thank you for bringing this to my attention.”

And then he let me go.

Just like that.

I don’t know what to make of it. Obviously, I’m relieved to be free of that shit show, but everything felt too easy. I half expect to look over my shoulder and see a wolf shifter stalking me, watching my every move, writing down exactly who I talk to and when.

Is it possible that Matthew released me because he didn’t believe a word I said, not because he did believe me? Perhaps he’s hoping I’ll incriminate myself in some way.

Or maybe…

Or maybe the Council knows more than what they’re letting on.

“That’s fucking insane,” Izzy breathes.

I clear my throat against the uncomfortable tightness there and then lean forward, my lips hovering over Izzy’s.

“You want to know what’s fucking insane?” I whisper, swallowing her sharp exhale, making it my own. “How badly I want to kiss you again. I don’t want to talk about the Council or the wolf shifters or the vampires.” I lean in even closer. So close I can practically feel the heat of her breath. “So can I, Isabella? Can I kiss you? Can I make you feel good?”