7. Kat

7

Kat

I held my hand over my mouth; I licked my lips, and I could still taste him. My body craved release, and I was sure River needed it, too. I chuckled as I drove my little car home. I knew a few things about making love. Alex didn’t have much experience, but he did understand that I needed an orgasm just as much as he did—because I told him.

I finally gathered the courage to ask one of my married friends about having an orgasm. She told me everything I wanted to know and even more than I needed to know. So, I told Alex that he needed to please me, just as he did himself. Sex wasn’t a big deal for Alex, my poor, sweet Alex.

For a long time, I never thought I would get over blaming myself for his death. But after talking with Myrtle, who’s a psychologist, I began to understand. She helped me realize that his mother had planted that guilt in my head. I wasn’t to blame for his or my baby’s death.

I hoped someone had taken care of those puppies. Maybe I’d visit the animal shelter and adopt one, but which one? I knew they’d all jump around, wanting to come home with me, and I wasn’t sure what to do. I knew they were happy to see their mother again.

I’m going to be so embarrassed facing the guys tomorrow. I would have let River drag me into his office and do anything he wanted. I’ve dreamed of that kiss for two years; he was even better than I imagined.

I’ve never been kissed like that before, and I didn’t want the feeling to fade. I almost climaxed right there when his hand touched my ass. Did I really run my hands under his shirt? I might have even scratched his back and slipped my fingers inside his waistband.

I headed to the bathroom, turned on the shower, and stayed there for a while. I thought I heard someone at the front door, but I figured if it was important, they’d come back.

I slipped on my new dress when I got out of the shower. I had a date—a blind date. I was supposed to meet someone downtown at the Mexican restaurant. I didn’t really want to go, but I couldn’t find the guy’s phone number to cancel.

I looked in the mirror. The dress was a little short, but not too short. I walked through the house, making sure everything was locked up. When I opened the door, I jumped.

“What are you doing?” I asked River, who was sitting on my front steps.

“I wanted to apologize for kissing you the—wait, are you going somewhere?”

“Excuse me?”

“You’re all dressed up. Is that a new dress? Don’t you think it’s a little too short?”

“I have a date.”

“You’re going on a date with another man while my kiss is still on your lips? ”

“It’s a blind date, and no, your kiss isn’t still on my lips. I showered and washed my lips,” I lied. “I’m sorry, but I can’t stop and chat. I’m already running late for my lunch date.”

“Do you always dress like this for a lunch date?”

“This is my first lunch date, so I wasn’t sure what to wear.” River took my hand and pulled me inside. I jerked my hand away. “What are you doing?”

“I’m going to help you find something more appropriate to wear—something better suited for a lunch date,” he said, walking around until he found my room. He pulled me to the closet and stood there, looking at my clothes.

Then he looked at me and shook his head. “I’m sorry. I don’t know what came over me. I just know I don’t want you to be with another man. I’ll leave,” he said, heading back outside. He paused at the door and looked at me. “I’m off to Iran. I’ll see you when I get back.”

“When will that be?” I asked.

“As soon as we rescue who we’re going after. Hopefully, not too long,” he said, his gaze lingering on me. “You’re beautiful. Have fun on your lunch date. You deserve to enjoy yourself.”

“I don’t want to date anyone,” I said, stepping closer to him. “Be careful in Iran. Who’s going with you?”

“Gideon and Gage. I’ll keep in touch,” he said, walking to his truck. I kicked off my heels and followed him barefoot.

“River, thank you for coming over. If you need me over there, call. I know a lot about Iran, and I’m a medic.”

“Goodbye, Katrina McDonald. I’ll see you in a few weeks.”

“Bye, River Channing. I’ll call Gage and Gideon to say goodbye to them, too.” I wanted to tell him I’d miss him. He turned back to me, bent down, and kissed me .

“I might have to fire you,” he whispered. I nodded because I understood. He wanted me as much as I wanted him.

I took off the dress and put on some sweats. Then I called Myrtle and asked her to contact my blind date and tell him I was in a relationship.

I didn’t want anyone’s lips on mine except River’s. After that, I went out to pull weeds from my garden. I felt wonderful. I didn’t even care if I got fired. I daydreamed about those lips on mine. What is the matter with me? I’m acting like a child.

Three weeks later, I was a raving madwoman. We hadn’t heard from River in two weeks. Everyone was off on a mission except Farron Lightfoot and me. Farron had just returned from a job in Thailand, where he contracted an infection while wading through dirty river water.

“You can’t go because of your infection. What if it spreads up your leg? You nearly died from this. Do you want to risk that?” I demanded.

“All right, we’ll wait until the antibiotics take effect. We'll go in two days if we haven’t heard from them by then. But I’m still not convinced you should go. I’ll be making the plans.”

“I told you, I was a medic in the Marines. I’ve been in wars, I’ve been shot twice, and I can take care of myself and anyone with me.”

“You don’t have to stay with me. I’m not a child.”

“I know I don’t, but I want to. Tell me about yourself,” I said, smiling. Trying to get his mind off of going overseas.

“You know all there is to know about me. I’m an open book. Tell me about the fires in Texas.”

I told him about my family there and how I saw all of them. I talked about Alex and Conner, my husband and baby, who died. He was in shock when I finished speaking.

“I don’t know what to say. God, I’m so sorry. That must have been a nightmare for you. Is that why you seem different?”

“Do I seem different?”

“Well, I’ve never seen you in jeans before. You seem more relaxed—except when it comes to River and the guys. They might just be unable to call. Plus, I’ve never known you to talk so much.”

“Yes, I am more relaxed. Plus, I found out I don’t have to wear high heels every day if I don’t want to. I’m going to take care of a few things. You can stay at my place while you recover. I don’t want you getting worse.”

“Kat, I’m also a medic; we all are. So you don’t have to worry. I’m not going to let myself get sicker. I want to learn as much about our missing team as you do. I hope they aren’t locked up somewhere.”

“I know.” I glanced at Farron, who was half-American Indian. He was handsome, with his black hair tied back with a piece of rawhide and a chiseled jaw. He was muscular and tall, like the rest of the guys. His dark brown eyes could stop you in your tracks when he was angry.

I saw him angry once when we were all in Japan. We went there to find two missing girls. Their father thought his ex-wife’s father had kidnapped them, so he hired our team to find his daughters. It took four days, and the man who had them had beaten them. Farron slammed his fist into the man’s jaw so hard that I heard the bone break. Then he beat the man senseless. No one said a word because the man had beaten both girls. I hoped he died from that beating.

“Are you ready to leave? ”

“Yes, I’m ready. I’ll stay at your place because I do feel weak. But I don’t want you waiting on me.”

“Can I at least cook enough food for two people?” I asked with a slight chuckle.

“Yes, that would be fine. I might even have a sandwich before dinner.”

“That’s great. I made chicken salad yesterday. It makes a delicious sandwich.”

“I love chicken salad sandwiches.”