Chapter 35

Reign

I can feel her thoughts a mile away. I can see the way her body is bowing in on itself, the misplaced guilt she feels, eating away at her insides. The truth of it is, this could have happened at any time. Whether she was home or not. Living with her dad again or not. It was an accident. My parents went to the hospital at my request to get answers for us before we get there. My dad texted me a minute ago to let me know the injuries are not life threatening. When we finally make it and I park the car, I turn Riley toward me. Her sad eyes are filled with tears and worry.

"My dad talked to his doctors. He does have a broken arm, but the rest of the scratches are superficial. He's going to be okay."

Her chest shudders and the tears fall free. I help her out of the car and take her hand in mine as we walk in. We're directed to the emergency room, where my parents are waiting.

"Oh, Riley." My mom walks up and takes her in her arms. Riley sags against my mom, holding onto her while crying her eyes out. "It's going to be okay, sweetheart. He's resting but he's okay."

I watch them both and realize for the first time that it's been years since my mom hugged Riley. A longer time since a woman gave her the kind of affection that comes from moms. I remembered the day of Riley's mom's funeral. I remember holding her hand and wishing I could do anything to stop her from crying. So I had done the one thing I had seen my dad do. I hugged her and kissed her cheek. We were young, innocent, and until this moment, I almost forgot. I had pried myself so far away from her because of the anger I had back then over a goal and a ruined summer. I forgot how Riley was surviving.

My dad comes over and claps my shoulder. His eyes are also on the two women. Eventually, my mom lets Riley go and she slips into her dad's room. As much as I want to be there with her, I know she needs some time with him first.

"It was a rollover. Another car in the other lane swerved for a deer and then Mr. Conrad swerved to avoid that person and it caused a head-on-collision," my dad explains.

"Why was he out so late?" I question.

They both shrug and we sit back down. I watch the clock waiting, giving her time. After about twenty minutes, I stand and make my way inside the room to be with her. Riley sits by her dad's side, her hand gently on his arm. His eyes are closed, sleeping with the effects of pain meds helping him be comfortable.

She turns to me and her face is stained with tear streaks. "I could have stopped him. I know I could have."

"Babe." I go to her, sinking down to my knees, and wrapping my arm around her. "No, you couldn't. It was an accident, something neither you or he could have foreseen."

She shakes her head. "You don't get it. He was wearing his uniform."

Her voice drops off, the last word hitching in her throat. "His military uniform?"

She nods, her watery eyes going back to her dad. "When I first went to live with him, it would happen when he had flashbacks or dreams. He had help from the VA for a few years before returning to help my mom and mostly had it under control. Stress or change though would trigger it. He has PTSD. When I would find him, only talking about hockey stats or about professional teams would bring him back."

My hand rubs her back. "I didn't know that." My throat feels tight and I fight back my own emotions for my girl and the other important man in her life.

"I only had hockey to talk with him about. He showed up after years of never knowing him. I didn't know what he liked or how he felt about me. But hockey was a thing for us. He started coming to my games when he could. That year of the tournament, he asked for time off from work. Something he never did, just to watch. I wanted to make him proud. I wanted that winning goal so it made it okay that he took time off from work to be there. And I ended up hurting you and then losing my best friend."

This must be what hell feels like. An anguish I've never known before floods my chest. Stupid, stupid kids. She tells me about not sharing with anyone what happened in her home because she loved her dad and he started going to the VA after a different episode, and got better. It had been five years since the last one, where he put on his uniform, and was going to take the truck for a drive, thinking he was on his base. Riley stopped him that time.

I feel horrible, realizing she spent her childhood living a way I never imagined and using hockey as a different tool than I did. She wanted to make her dad proud while I was doing everything to show my dad how good I was. The answers I needed back then are now in front of me and if I had just asked, just talked to her, things could have been very different.

I press my lips to her forehead. "I'm sorry, Riles."

She sniffles and her head drops. "I was too embarrassed to tell you back then."

"I was a jerk. I just always wanted to prove my dad wrong about hockey. I was self-centered, thinking everything was about me." Our hands intertwine and I squeeze hers gently.

"You were a jerk." She laughs softly. "You still are, but not to me. And I fell in love with you anyways."

"I'm here for you, babe. Whatever you need," I reassure her.

Riley's shoulders relax and suddenly she looks tired. "I don't know if I can leave him. He's all I have left, Reign."

Her words pierce my soul. They're desperate and sad in a way that tears up my insides. My girl is brave and she cares. She cares to a fault about everyone else before her own happiness. I won't argue with her about it right now. Her dad is going to be okay, and I already plan to make sure he is comfortable at home and receiving the care he needs. Nathan Conrad had always been on my side with what is best for Riley. They need to have their moment for her to hear it from him and not me.

I place my coat around her shoulders and she starts to fall asleep at his bedside. Only once she's out do I move her from the chair to the small couch. Time passes slowly, and I never take my eyes off of her. My parents come in and bring a blanket, and coffee before leaving to go home. My mom already told me she will help Riley in any way she can. Her knowing smile when she looks at me, acknowledging that she's helping her future daughter in-law, fills me with pride.

When the sun comes up Mr. Conrad finally opens his eyes. "Hi, sir."

He blinks around the room, his eyes landing on his daughter, and they soften. "I did it again, didn't I?"

My face is grim when I nod to him. "You were out driving. She's convinced since you had your uniform on that it was an episode. The other car swerved to miss a deer and you swerved to avoid hitting them. It was an accident."

"She won't see it that way." He sighs and his head tilts back. "I think she's been taking care of me more than I've been taking care of her all these years. I feel like I let her down."

"Riley loves you, sir. She only wants to make you proud and be there for you," I reassure him. We share a look between us, more words spoken in the silence than out loud. Both of us loving the girl asleep on that tiny couch.

Our conversation wakes her and Riley is soon sitting up, her eyes widening in surprise to see her dad awake.

"You scared me," she murmurs, sitting next to him.

He takes her hand in his and smiles. "I'm doing okay, kiddo. Nothing some meds and a trip to the VA can't help."

Riley's face falls and she grips his hand in her lap. "I'll call the office and set something up for you. And the hospital said they'd give us names of companies to work on some home health care."

Her dad's face falls. "Now, wait just a second, kid. I appreciate the gesture, but I can handle this."

"Dad, I'll come home for a few days and we'll take care of it," my girl argues back.

"You have school, Riley. You can't miss a day with the state competition this week. And I don't need you at home to take care of me, kiddo. I appreciate it, and I love you, but no."

"Dad—"

"Reign, help me out here. I need you to back me up this time." Mr. Conrad laughs.

Riley shoots daggers in my direction and for a breath of a second I consider sitting this argument out. I exhale, my hands running through my hair. "Your dad's right, Riles. You can't miss this week with the game. And I've already talked to my mom. She got in contact with the agency that helped my grandma when she hurt her hip. They have someone lined up to help your dad at home, or help him with errands until he's moving better on his own and not in so much pain."

"What about work? The VA?" Riley glares at her father this time and I take a step back, letting him know this part is up to him.

"I have good insurance, Riley. That's part of the reason I've stayed there, and the VA helps with that. I will call and also get in to talk about what happened. I promise, this is the first time it's happened in years. There's a lot going on and changes. I should have taken more preventative care, but I thought it was handled."

"I just want to help you. Maybe I shouldn't leave you." Her voice breaks into a sob.

Mr. Conrad looks terrified. I wrap my arms around Riley and she sinks into my embrace, which I'm thankful for.

"You need to keep doing what is best for you, kid. That's the way you help me. Don't give up your dreams and your future because of a few scrapes and a broken bone."

Riley cries and goes to her dad gently laying her head on his chest. "Will you promise to let the company Mrs. Thorn found do their job?"

The older man bristles at first but then relents. "Of course."

"Okay," she whispers and pulls back. "I'll go check in with your doctor."

"Sounds good." Mr. Conrad nods and she heads for the door.

"She's worried. You're her only family and she's terrified to lose you," I share with him.

Mr. Conrad's eyes move over me, assessing. He sighs and years of exhaustion pass over his face while he looks out the window. "Time on this earth is never guaranteed. That girl has been my savior on all my darkest days." His eyes move back to mine. "I think you're a good man, Reign. I trust you with her because I see the way you look at her, and all the things you've done to get her to find herself and dream. I trust you to be her family when I can't be anymore. She isn't as alone as she thinks she is."

My heart thuds painfully. Pride and respect surge in my chest with his words. "I'll never let her be alone, sir."

He nods quietly right as the door opens again, and Riley slips back inside. She looks beautiful still but tired. The long night and her fear are catching up to her.

"You should be able to be discharged tomorrow after they check your arm and your follow-up appointments are scheduled."

Her dad smiles. "Good, one more day of tv and Jell-o."

"Dad." Riley laughs and shakes her head at him.

"You kids should get on back. Your dress is pretty, kid, but I'm sure its uncomfortable to lounge in."

"We can stay—-"

"No." He holds up a hand, grinning. "I'm the parent still. Go back to school. Change. Eat. Sleep. I expect to see you on your game next weekend."

"I'll make sure she gets home," I tell him, taking her hand in mine. "Let your dad rest, babe."

Huffing, Riley walks over to him and kisses his stubbled cheek. "Fine. But I'll be making sure Reign asks his mom so we know if you're following up with who and what you need to be."

"You do that, kiddo," Mr. Conrad answers.

I manage to get her out the door and to my car. Riley is silent on the way back to the dorms, but she holds my hand.

"Where are we going?" she asks when I take the opposite turn to my apartment instead.

"My place. So I can make sure you eat and get a hot shower," I respond, bringing her knuckles up to my lips.

"I can take care of myself." She sighs, but settles more into my seat.

"I know you can, but let me take care of you."

We fall into more silence once we get there, and for the entire elevator ride to my floor. I scan my key card and let her and myself inside. Riley walks to the bathroom and instantly drops her dress, turning the shower on full blast. Steam fills the room while I watch her. Our eyes connect through the glass and her tears bring me to my knees. I'm undressed in record time, and walking under the hot spray to hold her. Riley collapses in my arms, crying and clinging to me.

"Thank you, Reign."

I kiss the top of her head, her temples, her forehead and my hands run all over her body, soothing her, comforting her. "You don't need to thank me, Riles. I will do anything for you, always. Forever. You're my life, baby girl."

"I love you so much, Reign."

I take her face in my hands. Even with her cheeks red and eyes swollen, she's the most beautiful girl I've ever seen. "I love you, Riley. Let me make you happy forever. I'll take care of everything. Just be with me, and be happy. Everything is going to be okay. Trust me."

"I do." She whimpers and her arms wrap around my waist.

I'm happy just to hold her and take care of her. After pressing a kiss to her lips, I help her wash her hair and her body before helping her into a warm towel. I give her one of my t-shirts and a pair of shorts to wear and while she brushes the tangles from her hair, I make us some eggs and toast. Riley almost falls asleep while eating, so I carry her to my room and lay her on the bed. I climb in next to her and wrap her in my arms, my front pressed into her back. She sighs before snuggling closer to me. I'm never letting her go.