Chapter 28

Riley

"Can I get you anything to drink, sweetie?" the secretary to the dean asks, while I sit in the office, waiting. I glance up from my hands that are balled on my thighs and look at her. Her eyes are filled with concern. I probably look how I feel, which is that I'm going to puke all over this eggplant purple carpet.

Somehow I manage to shake my head. "No, thank you."

With a small smile she scuttles back to her desk and starts clicking away on her keyboard. Hopefully she's telling her boss to hurry up and get this girl out of her office area before she passes out. I feel like I could go either way right now. My stomach is in knots, my heart is racing, and my mind is blank. The pressure to have facts to converse about soon has made my brain completely melt.

Leaning back in the chair, I try counting backward from one hundred and breathing in and out slowly. I can't make it past ninety-six before Reign's stupid voice pops into my head and he's whispering to me all his plans for the future. Our future. A future I hadn't put much thought into past graduation.

Before Reign stormed back into my life at the end of this summer, I didn't have a plan. I just wanted to play hockey for as long as I could and enjoy the time with my friends. I'll admit, that's probably not the smartest thing for an eighteen-year-old who soon would have choices to make. It just hadn't mattered to me. A community college or technical school would have been fine.

I didn't have a huge goal or dreams. Girls like me don't always get those luxuries. I didn't grow up rich, or have the world at my fingertips. I learned at a young age to save what I can and the rest would be needed to survive. Most of my childhood with my mom was spent surviving. She was a great mother, who did all she could, but the reality had been that we were poor. Until my dad came and by then, my mom couldn't have any other dreams. She passed away so young. All our time together had been spent in our room at the shelter, playing games, or at the ice arena where she watched all my practices or games. We never talked about the future, colleges, my wedding or maybe me being a mom someday. She lived with me in the moment, and when I look back now, I realize it's because she knew she didn't have a future with me. She never pressed college on me because of the pressure her parents had put on her. Then when my dad came around, we also never discussed what my future would look like. Until Reign that is. My dad and Reign have been plotting and planning behind my back and I just don't know how to feel about it.

I'm mad.

I'm happy.

I'm excited.

I'm scared.

I would miss my dad.

I don't feel deserving.

Reign believes that I'm deserving. He reminds me all the time that I'm smart and dominate at my level in hockey. That I'm worth it. When he says these things, I want to believe him. I want to get caught up in his dream, and let it take me away. The thought also makes me nervous as hell. He was so detailed in his plans for us here in Michigan. His plan is to be drafted within three years to the NHL and then moving to wherever he's playing. A wedding in the off season and babies soon after. The man said babies. We're still young. He's over the top. I hate that his plans give me butterflies and makes heat swirl low in my belly. It's not fair to have to go up against Reign Thorn.

"Ms. Conrad," A burly, older gentleman soon opens the door and I realize this is it. I'm looking at the dean of admissions and so far, he doesn't look too impressed with me.

"Hi, sir." I stand and hold out my hand. He eyes it before reaching forward and shaking my hand.

"You can call me Pete. All the kids do," he adds with a warmer smile.

I follow him into his office and it is not what I expected. When I think college, deans, admissions, I tend to think older, stuffy, and lots of wood with drabby colors. This room is nothing like that.

It's pristine, with white walls, but the school colors are splashed across it. Jerseys from different sports are displayed as well as game day pucks and balls. There is also a picture framed of the dean with the hockey team from five years ago when his son played. Suddenly, his interest in Reign and Reign's family starts to make more sense. That pit in my stomach from earlier starts to grow back. I think my heart will shatter if Reign has bought this for me, just like my All Saints' admission.

"So you're visiting our great state for a few days, I've been told," Pete says, his eyes assessing me.

I want to shrink in my seat but fight the urge. "Yes, sir. Just visiting for a few days. The campus is amazing. I've never been before."

"It is truly an amazing place. The atmosphere, the four seasons, the eager and learning minds. There's something magical when you mix it all together. I'm lucky to have a spot here," he tells me and I nod in response.

"So, tell me a little about yourself, Ms. Conrad. Why are you interested in Michigan?"

"Can I be honest with you?" I ask, my fingers digging into the armrest on the chair.

"Of course." He laughs and crosses one leg over the other, settling into his seat. I notice he isn't holding any papers or a pad of paper taking notes.

"Honestly, and I know how bad this sounds, I haven't given any thought to college. My mom had me young and didn't go. My dad was in the military. I don't have an extended family that spent time talking with me about these things. I do have friends who are making plans and have been thinking about this choice for years. I just never put any thought into it. I guess I figured until I know what I want to do or get out of life that I didn't really have to decide and when I did, there was always community college and places close to home," I explain. The whole time I talk, he doesn't interrupt me and there is zero judgment on his face.

"It is important when we talk about the things we want in life and the things that make us happy when considering college, Ms. Conrad. You are right in this. Especially in this day and age with the commitment it requires both mentally and financially. Therefore, it also requires logic and reasoning," he agrees. "What makes you happy?"

"Hockey," I answer without thinking. "My family. My friends. Learning. I do like to learn. Reign always says I'm the happiest at the arena or the library. He makes me happy too."

A ghost of a smile appears on the dean's face. "Well, I can already tell you, I am a hockey fan. We have a great program here and it grows more and more every year. Women's sports in general on this campus are getting the recognition they deserve. The competitiveness and also the moral and sportsmanship among this group of athletes on this campus is remarkable. So I don't think it would be too hard to sell you on that. What do your friends and family think about you being here?"

"Well, my friends all have their own plans I guess. I know Michigan was on their lists but they have a few places they were looking at too. And my dad…I think he would be happy. But I feel guilty leaving him," I admit.

"I think your father sounds like a man who would want the best for his daughter no matter what she chooses. It's fair for you to be worried or concerned. He sounds like he is a very integral part of your life. I can tell you though as a father, I have three boys and two girls, I would want my child to do what makes them happy. To be where they can achieve their dreams."

"Yeah, he's pushing hard. Pete, I'm thrilled to be here and it's an honor to talk to you, but I also know this has something to do with Reign. I don't want to be the girl that rides her boyfriend's coattails to a university either."

The dean makes a noise between a cough and a laugh before he's full on shaking in his seat laughing. He holds up a hand. "I'm sorry," he croaks out. The sight feels oddly refreshing and eventually I'm smiling too.

"Let's leave Mr. Thorn out of this while we talk, shall we?" The dean finally catches his breath and wipes the corner of his eyes. "I won't lie to you, Ms. Conrad. I was approached by Reign and his father to meet with you; however, we have all been up front and over the table that if you want this, you have to make the choice to do so."

"I bet that made Reign really happy." I smirk and finally I relax into my seat.

He smiles and shakes his head. "Mr. Thorn has good intentions. And as much as I want him to play hockey here, I also do not want to coerce someone who isn't sure if they want to be here. You sound like a very intelligent young woman. I've seen your transcripts, and I was slipped a video of one of your most recent games —"

"I'm going to kill him," I huff and my hands cover my face.

"Before you go committing any crimes, Ms. Conrad, I do want to say, that I am impressed. You have talent. You're smart and we would welcome you here should you decide to apply. That being said, there are about ten other campuses I could name off the top of my head who would look at you the same way."

I let my hands drop from my eyes. "Really?"

"Truly." He nods and gives me only what can be described as a fatherly smile. "Is your father's well-being your biggest barrier to attending college out of state?"

My face flushes and my eyes fall to the ground. "No, sir. I would consider the expense the bigger issue. I would need to apply for a scholarship or I would need a loan, which I'm also not ready to take on."

He hums and gets out of his chair, moving to the desk. He grabs a paper from his filing drawer before coming back to sit, and hanging it to me. "This is a list of the scholarships we offer. The qualifications and deadlines for admission. Take a look at it."

"I will," I reassure him, tucking the paper close to my side. "Thank you."

"Thank you for your time today, Ms. Conrad. I hope whatever you decide that it brings you happiness. May I offer some advice?

"Sure." I nod.

"Apply to a few places. Test it out. Just because you apply doesn't mean you have to accept. Pick the one that makes your heart race. And don't let Mr. Thorn bully you," he tells me, his eyes crinkling with another smile.

"I won't," I assure the man before leaving his office. "Thank you. Thank you for your wisdom."

My way back to the main building goes quickly, and I can't help but look around the campus. Even covered in snow, it is a beautiful sight. I can picture the image that Reign is selling me. I just wish I could get over this feeling of inadequacy. With the dean's parting advice in my ear, I feel lighter. He gave me a plan. Something I could build off of with the limited experience I have. Talking with someone else other than Reign or my dad shouldn't give me the independent feel it does, but I can't help it. For all I know, maybe that was Reign's plan all along. I can't picture any other heads of a college taking time off their winter holiday to interview a high school kid.

"How did it go?" Reign meets me at the hotel door the second I arrive. He looks anxious and excited. I don't have it in me to break his heart. I also feel conflicted knowing that I can see his dream for us too.

"It was good. He gave me solid advice and a list of their scholarship opportunities." I shrug and set my things down. I really want to get out of these pants and blouse. I want to be comfortable before our plane ride home.

Reign follows me into the bedroom area and sits on the bed. His leg bounces lightly. "Did he say anything about your admission?"

"If I want to apply and go through the steps, I have a good shot at getting in," I respond.

"How do you feel about it?" he asks, and I turn to look at him. His icy eyes trail over me. I can feel his love and the hint of possession that accompanies it.

"I'm going to apply," I tell him, knowing deep in my gut it's the right thing.

Reign leaps off the bed and folds me into his arms. He places a kiss on my head. "That's good, babe. That's really good news." He steps back after releasing me and we're both grinning like idiots.

"Well, I guess I can call off plan B now." He laughs and reaches for his phone.

"Plan B?"

Reign's eyes darken and his teeth sink into his bottom lip. "I wasn't planning to leave Michigan without making sure we're both coming back in the fall next year."

My chest deflates. "What does that mean?" Reign's features pull tight, all trace of humor or playfulness vanishing. He looks like a villain come to life.

"Nothing you have to worry about now, babe." He slings an arm around my neck and kisses my cheek. "Plans are working out the way they should."