Chapter 19

Riley

A routine starts to form around my days that lulls me into a false sense of security. Everything at All Saints appears so easy. Get up, meet Reign to grab my lavender latte, which he still criticizes, and I point out over and over how wrong he is. We go to class and after class to practice. Most nights Reign meets me to bring me back to my dorm or his apartment where I either make him study or we end up naked together. And the whole day just repeats over again. With my team's first game of the season coming up, I'm ready to play, ready to commit. Coach Silver had given me the option to sit the first one out if I wanted and observe or jump right in. I appreciate her support, but I'm feeling the need to jump in. The ice is calling to me and I want nothing more than to play, even though it's a team I never expected to be on.

The boys also have an away game tonight in a different neighboring town. I should be feeling excited for Reign and pumped up for him, but all I can think about is wearing the Saints' jersey tonight instead of my red and black Pirate one.

"What do I have to do to get a smile today, babe?" Reign asks, his arm wrapping around my waist and his chin resting on my shoulder.

Our respective buses leave soon and he wanted to grab dinner before we left. I wasn't thrilled about going, I even considered just making a sandwich in my dorm, except that once Reign mentioned a strawberry shake all I could think about was the chicken tenders at the diner. A chicken tender basket with fries later, I'm stuffed and ready to get in the head space I know I'm going to need for tonight. Any mess ups will give the girls the idea that they were right about me being on the team. I feel like I have to work extra hard to win and also prove that I should be there.

"I just have a lot on my mind," I respond, shrugging. He lifts his head and brushes my hair back.

"Are you excited to play tonight?"

I turn to look at him and sort of want to wipe the smug look off his face. My dad may have given his permission for me to be at All Saints Academy, but Reign put the ball in motion.

"I am. It's just a lot. The Pirates have their first home game tonight."

Reign's eyes narrow and his arm tightens on me. "Riley, you can't feel bad for taking this opportunity."

"I didn't take it though, you handed it to me," I point out, feeling the small embers of resentment start to smoke in my chest.

Reign stops walking and takes my hand in his, bringing me around to face him. Several members of our respective teams walk by and glance at us before they keep moving to the buses. Not caring who is watching, Reign bends slightly so we're eye level. He looks ready to jump into a heated conversation while I'm ready to get on the warm bus.

"You deserve to be here, Riley. You always have. If I hadn't been an idiot way back then, you would have always been here."

I cannot stop my eyes from rolling. "Every time you bring up when we used to be friends, it never looks good for you."

He freaking laughs. "It's just a part of our history. I can't change it."

"I still could have played for the Pirates this season. As much as this is appreciated, I had a good thing going there too," I remind him.

Reign snorts. "Like what? Team captain of a team least likely to win states or to get college recruits at?"

I glare at him and he holds up his hands defensively. "I'm being honest, Riley. I know you hate to hear it or that it sucks to hear about your old team that way, but it's the hard truth. Certain schools bring crowds and recruits. Your best chance to be seen or to be scouted is here. I am sorry you lost your captain badge. That is the only thing myself or your dad feels bad about. It doesn't make you less of a rock star player though, babe."

His words do sting. They dig under my skin and filet open the softest parts. Maybe colleges wouldn't be looking at the Pirates, but it was my team. It was mine. It was what I sunk all my loneliness and energy in so I didn't think about the past or my next challenge with the boy who stole my heart then smashed it all over the ice.

"You'll never understand."

Reign sighs, and his hands massage my shoulders. "I won't. I'm not you, I don't have the attachment. I'm sorry it hurts you though. I will never again sit by and not see you get the best things you deserve."

Anger twists with the resentment and the loss in my heart. I want to scream, cry, stomp my feet, but it won't matter. My old team is playing without me, and I'm here. Fighting for a future my dad and Reign can see for me; yet, it still looks hazy to me and so far out of reach. I'm not in my comfort zone and in all honesty, I'm scared to take on this role and fully commit to being a Saint.

I shrug out of Reign's arms and watch his lips turn into a frown. I don't want him to be sad. I don't know how to be happy in this scenario. Not when I blame him so much for putting me in this position. "I'm leaving. Good luck tonight." I duck out of his grip and walk over to the bus, placing my bag and stick under the compartment. I hear Reign yell my name and choose to ignore him. Tugging my hood up over my head, I pop my earpods in and crank up my music. I ignore the glances of the girls around me. I ignore the call and texts from Reign. It's game time. And I'm determined that I don't need him in order to prove myself.

The Chesimier Clovers play dirty as hell. The amount of penalties their team has picked up tonight is staggering. There are even some the referees have missed because the call was very close. We're working our asses off and it still feels like we're getting crushed at every turn. After the ice was cleared for the third period, we were winning 3-1, and they became even cheaper in their playing.

Sitting on the bench after my shift I quickly spray my face with some water before taking a drink. I'm in pretty good shape and not breathing hard but my muscles are screaming. My legs ache from gliding as fast as I can, and my mind feels slightly defeated, not knowing how else to keep us ahead in the last period. This team is brutal and I'm their main target.

"I've never pushed off so many attacks on defense before," Leah, one of our defensemen, huffs as she sits, spraying water into her open mouth.

Quinn joins us laughing. "They're playing cheap as fuck and it has nothing to do with being poor losers."

I glance between them both. "What is it then? Rivalry team?"

Leah blanches and eyes me like I'm not well or something. Quinn just smirks before saying, "She doesn't get it."

"Someone should enlighten her. This could be a season-long issue if these bitches think taking her out will win points with him."

My eyes slide back to Quinn, my brow raised. "Reign?"

"Yup," Quinn responds, her attitude in full force. "Maddie Howse. Number Thirty-three."

I find the girl they're talking about as she talks with her coach on the bench. It's like she was waiting for me because the minute I glance at her face, her gaze meets mine. She's pretty. More the type I would think Reign would go for rather than me. Her hair is honey blonde, curly, and her eyes are as blue as his. She lifts her chin, and even from here I can tell she's wearing makeup that makes her eyelashes look long and full, and I see barely any blemishes. Too bad she has a scowl on her face and if looks could kill…let's just say, she doesn't radiate sunshine and cookies. "Let me guess they messed around and she's holding a torch?"

Leah snorts. "Worse. That is the only girl Reign has ever even remotely been kind of interested in. They dated for what was it?"

"Four days," Quinn answers for her.

"Yeah, four days. The summer before sophomore year," Leah finishes her story. "I guess she's held a torch for him ever since. And now that he's practically…married."

"Ah, no." I shake my head.

Quinn shrugs. "In Reign terms, you might as well be. This is a first and like I told you before, it's breaking hearts all over the state."

I shake my head, standing on my skates, and ready for my next shift on the ice. "These girls need their heads checked. No man is worth destroying a season over."

"Amen." Leah slaps hands with me. I don't let myself get too giddy when I realize this is the most comradery that someone on the team has shown me. The girls are nice yes, but it's a polite nice. A relationship forged because we have a similar goal of having a winning season.

"Just be careful," Quinn warns me again. "Some of these girls aren't used to being turned down. And their daddies are richer than god, so things can be hidden."

A sour feeling hits my stomach, making my jaw locks. Those are the type of girls I like the least and I know this conference of school teams is full of them. While All Saints Academy is right up there as a wealthy school, they aren't the wealthiest in the state. Just our district.

With Leah and Quinn's warnings in my head I spend the rest of the game skating hard and watching over my shoulder. I can't wait to get back and give Reign shit for all of the girls' hearts he's broken. We manage to finish the game without any casualties and only one penalty when one of our players could not take the trash talk from the other team anymore. Their team played cheap and they acted like petty brats. I was disappointed in them and the bad rap they could give women's sports.

Once we were on the bus and headed home, I finally decided to turn on my phone. I'm sure Reign was having a stroke by now, and honestly, I wanted to hear from him. I felt just a sliver of regret about the way I left him today. Reign's words make sense, even when they piss me off. I'm still getting used to my new normal. And even though he thinks it's for the best, he still needs to be able to understand and care about my feelings. I made up my mind that when I see him again, we need to finish the conversation. I don't know how he can make it better. Maybe it's something he can't fix, but he at least needs to listen to what I am telling him about how I feel.

Right as my phone turns on, everyone's phones start vibrating and making alert noises.

"Oh shit!" one of the girls in front of me says, before turning to look over at me. "You should check your messages. Reign was hurt in the game."

My heart stops and everything around me fades into the background. My fingers tremble as I swipe through the notifications. After turning off my phone, Reign had left me twenty more texts. I hastily scroll to the very end.

THORN: It's not as bad as it seems. Don't worry about me.

"Not as bad as it seems," I huff under my breath and go to the school notification posts for the boys' hockey team. There is recorded footage of the night's game as well as a thumbnail dedicated to #81.

Clicking the link, it pulls up a clip of the game. I notice there's ten minutes left in the third period when Reign skates with the puck, passing it to his right wingman. As he does, another player from the other team barrels toward him, taking him out at the knee. I watch in horror as Reign flips over the guy and lands on his right side. The crowd stands and the play stops. While the other player gets a penalty for roughing, Reign is slow to get off the ice. He gets help from a trainer and one of the guys on his team as they skate him off. The last part of the clip follows Reign as he exits under the bleachers while the crowd claps for his recovery.

I feel physically sick. My stomach churns thinking about him being hurt. Reign has so much riding on this season. It's not lost on me that the other player purposefully went for the knee Reign broke when we were kids. The injury he received because of me.

The rest of the drive back feels like hours rather than the forty-five minutes it actually is. Once we get back to campus, I bounce on my toes waiting for my turn to get off the bus. Grabbing my bag, I quickly haul it to my room, before heading back downstairs. I'm going to end up locked out of the dorms tonight, but it will be worth it. I need to get to Reign. I need to see him for myself to know he's all right. I glance at my phone again and quickly text him back.

ME: It looked brutal. I'm on my way over.

I watch the dots jump in response before they go still. I stop breathing while I wait. If he's up and texting that means he isn't sleeping yet. He's probably in pain or worse, they could be watching him for a concussion.

ME: Do you need anything? I can stop by that convenience store on my way.

THORN: I don't need anything, babe. I can't wait to see you.

I practically run to his apartment, only stopping to breathe once I reach the elevator. My skin feels clammy after running with the chilled wind on my face. I don't register the way my own legs and feet are screaming in protest. I just need to see Reign. To feel him.

At his door I knock and wait, listening for him. "It's open."

Twisting the handle, I let myself if, locking it behind me. "In my room, Riles."

Toeing off my shoes, I kick them to the side before unzipping my jacket and laying it over the back of his couch. Quickly, I wander to his room. Our gazes connect when I walk in. Relief flashes in his eyes while he drags them down over my body. Only then do I realize I came right from my game. I'm sweaty and still dressed in my warm-ups.

"Sorry, I smell," I joke and try to crack a smile.

Reign cocks his head to the side, his eyes penetrating right down to my soul. "You didn't have to come."

I eat him up with my eyes, making sure he's okay and not in serious condition. His leg is propped on a pillow and bagged ice lays under his thigh. His gray school sweatpants ride low on his hips while he sits. The muscles of his cut abdomen and chest flex under my stare. I take in the gold chain, with our numbers on it, as it lies in the middle of his chest. Eventually I bring my gaze back to his and see how tired he looks. His black hair is sticking up in certain places and looks like he's been running his fingers through it. Tears automatically flow to my eyes.

"Reign," I say his name on a broken sob and he softens. His arms open like he wants to get up, to come to me. "No, don't move."

I walk over to the bed and sit on the edge. I'm immediately pulled into his warm chest, and I go willingly. The upper half of my body is draped over his, my arms winding around his neck. His head ducks into the space between my shoulder and my neck and I can feel him breathing me in. Almost as if reassuring himself that I'm really there, while I take in lungfuls of his fresh scent and the lingering hint of his cologne in the room.

I can't stop crying while I cling to him. Reign somehow manages to get my hoodie off and maneuvers my body next to his in the bed. His hand moves under my knee, bringing my leg up, to hook over his.

"Wait! I don't want to hurt you."

He scoffs and bends his head to place a kiss on my forehead. "It's just a bruise on my thigh. I'll be fine in a day or two. I told you it looks worse than it was."

Now it's my turn to scowl. "It was a cheap-motherfucking-hit. You had to leave the ice."

He nods with a smile on his lips. "It was. Don't worry. I warned him that my girl would come after him and he should watch his back."

"You're ridiculous," I groan, laying my head on his chest and burrowing into him. "I was really worried about you. I needed to come see you."

"I'm glad you did. Although, I'm sorry you were so worried." His hands run down my back and I feel my eyes getting heavy. I twist my fingers in his chain and around the golden numbers, letting my palm rest against the steady rhythm of his heart.

"Don't get hurt, Reign. I never want you to be hurt again."

He stiffens under me, and I wonder if he's thinking about his injury when we were kids too, before wrapping his arms around my body again and squeezing. "I'll do my best. How about you? How was your game?"

Given the way his night ended, I do not want to tell him the drama of our game. I decide to let it go. These girls can hate me all they want; I'm there to play hockey. Now is not the time to tell him how the other team played or about the bruise on my side from the shot I was given by someone's elbow. "We won 3-1. I had one goal."

"That's awesome, babe. I can't wait to see you play," Reign praises me while kissing the top off my head. I should thank him or offer to see if he wants me to move or to leave. Maybe he's as tired as I am.

"I'm definitely tired, Riles, but you can't leave. I want you with me."

Oops. I guess I said that out loud. Sighing, I snuggle more into him, pressing my body all along his. Tomorrow I'll deal with the other things. Tonight I just want him.