5. Chandler

FIVE

chandler

Kristina and I sat across from each other at our small kitchen table, stuffing our faces full of twirled forkfuls of spaghetti. I had just taken a bite when my phone started to vibrate on the table.

With a mouthful of pasta threatening to spill from my lips, I clumsily swiped at the screen, answering the call. "Hey, Mo?—"

The moment the video call connected, I knew something was off. She wore the same face she used to tell me I was grounded and not happy with me. My heart sank a little at the sight.

"Chandler? How is everything?" she asked weakly.

I quickly swallowed my mouthful of noodles, feeling them slide down somewhat awkwardly. "Yeah, all good here," I replied, trying to keep my voice even. "Kristina made spaghetti." I gestured with my fork to the dish in front of me, hoping maybe I was reading her facial expression wrong.

"That's good, honey," she said. Her thoughts seemed elsewhere, though. The lack of enthusiasm was unlike her, and I felt a knot forming in my stomach.

"Mom?" I pressed, leaning forward slightly. "What's up?"

“I have some bad news," her voice was gentle, but the gravity in her tone made my heart drop into my stomach. "Your dad was laid off, unfortunately."

"Oh, no. Is he okay?" I asked.

She gave a small, reassuring nod. "You know we've been here before, sweetheart. He's trying to stay busy." She paused and gave me another unhappy look before continuing. "He called a friend and there's a construction job he can help with for the summer. In Texas. We're hoping he can do this big project and it'll give him some time to find another job back in Stillwater."

The spaghetti on my plate suddenly seemed like an insurmountable mountain I couldn't climb. The fork clattered softly against the plate as I set it down, my appetite vanishing into thin air. "That sucks, Mom," I mumbled through my fingers. "I hate that he'll have to be away for the whole summer."

"That's the thing, Chandler..." her voice trailed off for a moment, while I braced for the additional blow. "I'm going to go with him. I don't need to be back to start planning lessons and setting up for the school year until August."

I remembered summers when I was younger, how I'd once envied my mom's long breaks from work. I loved the freedom she had when we were out of school.

"Wait," I blurted out, the news sinking in. "What about our plans?"

"There will be plenty of time for that in the future, honey. With everything that's happening, I think it would be a good idea for you to get a summer job. Just in case we're unable to help with school next year. Luckily your brother has the scholarship, so he’ll be okay.”

The thought of spending my summer cashiering or pouring coffee wasn’t what I had planned, but I also didn’t want them to stress about finding a way to continue helping me.

"Okay, Mom." I nodded, still feeling disappointed. "Well, give Dad a hug for me."

"Of course, sweetie." She managed a brave smile. "I will. And don't worry, I'll keep you updated."

"Love you, Mom."

"Love you too, Chandler."

I stood up, feeling defeated as I scraped the now unappetizing mound of spaghetti into the trash with a dull splat.

“Can you believe that?” I sighed, placing my plate in the dishwasher.

“No, that sucks,” Kristina said, tapping her fingernails on the table. “But I do seem to remember you telling me someone in Bayside offered you a job.”

I let out a long sigh. Even though that was the last thing I wanted to hear right now, she was right. Could I really do that, though? Go back to Bayside? Into the heart of Blue Devils’ territory.

“And I seem to remember Papi Likes Butts asking you for feet pics. Maybe we could profit off those,” I said sarcastically.

“Now that’s an idea I can get behind,” she said, rubbing her chin. “But you should probably still get a job while I’m waiting for that compensation.”

I swallowed hard as my mind raced. Could I really take a job in Bayside? That small town was more than just a place—it was a reminder of painful memories and secrets I wanted no part of. Could I keep my heart guarded when it had already been so recklessly exposed?

And Boston and Reese… how could I be around them? I’d be forced to hang around the two guys I wanted most to avoid.

"Kristina," I murmured, her name slipping out like a call for help. "I don't know if I can survive another summer in Bayside with... with them. Both of them."

She raised an eyebrow, her stern expression devoid of empathy. "You're not going to just survive the summer. You're going to face it head on," she urged. "You need to get closure with Reese. And you should mend things with Boston. He came to your birthday, that has to mean something. You can’t spend your life running from things."

I swallowed hard. "But what if they don't want me around?" The vulnerability in my own voice caught me by surprise.

"Who cares?" Kristina's retort was swift, shoving away my doubts. "You're there for a job, remember? A good friend offered you this opportunity, and you're taking it. Don't fixate on anyone else—or how they feel about it."

Maybe it was possible to face both Reese and Boston, to sort through the tangled web of emotions that bound us all.

"I can get through this," I whispered under my breath, trying to convince myself. "I’ll just focus on work." But even as I said it, I knew it would take every ounce of strength not to feel anything when I got around them. I let out another sigh and sent a text message I never expected to send.

Me

so how much does the job pay?

Willow

SCREAMING! If I lie and say you have experience they'll start you at a decent rate.

Me

Get that spare bedroom ready

Guess I'm in

Willow

YAY! I’m so excited. This summer is going to be epic, Channy!

I wasn’t sure “epic” was how I’d describe it. But Kristina was right, I could make this summer about reclaiming the pieces of myself I'd lost last summer. Willow could be my sunshine in the Bayside darkness—a lifeline to cling to when things were hard. I wouldn’t be there for Boston or Reese, or any man for that matter. I would be there for myself and for Willow.

I glanced at my reflection in the mirror, searching for any sign of the fortitude I’d need to navigate this summer. Boston's shining blue eyes came to mind. They mirrored the ocean on a summer day, always so full of warmth, something I wasn’t sure he still had. And then Reese, with his hypnotizing green eyes that seemed to know too much, always challenging me. Others had warned me about him for a reason.

Fuck my life. I really was going to do this. Going back to Bayside, into Blue Devils’ turf, and hoping I’d find some strength to get me through. Maybe, just maybe, everything did happen for a reason and the unexpected detour could lead to something good. It could be a redemption, a summer that I could be proud of, one where I discovered myself—and I held the power not to let anyone distract me.

I thought back, lost in the reflection of how broken I felt back then. We’d been on the road back to Stillwater after leaving Bayside. I’d opened up to Parker about everything. Back then, my heart had been shattered, the fragments still raw from the abrupt ending of a summer romance.

I stared out the passenger window, tracing the raindrops with my eyes as they raced one another down the glass. My thoughts were a tangled mess—between Boston and Reese, and now this bombshell of a secret that had detonated everything I thought I knew about both of them.

The silence in the car was overwhelming. We were still in shock—both trying to look back at all the signs we’d missed over the years from the boy next door, and his mother who we thought we’d known so well.

"You doing okay?" Parker's voice finally interrupted the quiet. "You've been staring out of that window since we left. Talk to me."

I turned my head slightly, meeting his concerned eyes before they shifted back to the road. How could I explain the hurt in my heart, the confusion? Words seemed inadequate, but the weight of them needed a release.

"Everything's just… a mess, Parker." My voice broke as the tears started to blur my vision.

He reached over, resting his hand briefly on mine before returning it to the wheel. The gesture was simple but overwhelming. Like when you’re sad and someone hugs you, which sometimes opens the floodgate of tears you were trying to hold back.

The reality of the situation was beginning to settle in. Parker and I were still reeling from the revelation that Boston's mom had kept Reese, her other son, a secret all these years. The magnitude of it had us both feeling like we were in some kind of parallel universe—even Parker's usual jokes were blunted.

"Can you believe she kept that secret all these years?" I whispered, the question rhetorical, voicing the shared shock that had rendered us speechless.

Parker shook his head, his jaw tight. "No, I can't. It's… it's insane."

As he drove, taking us further away from a town filled with memories and secrets, a sob escaped me. I had tried to hold it in, to remain composed, but I couldn’t do it any longer. Tears streamed down my cheeks.

Parker spared a glance, worry creasing his brow. "Chandler, are you...?" His voice trailed off, understanding that I was crying without needing to finish the question.

"Everything's just so overwhelming," I managed, my voice a whisper between sobs. Parker didn't say anything, but the car slowed down as he gazed at me, switching out of the fast lane as the rain continued its relentless drumming.

"Take your time," he murmured, giving me the space to let out the hurt and confusion Reese and Boston had unwittingly caused.

At that moment, Parker wasn't just my brother, he was the shoulder I needed to cry on. I shook my head, pressing my fingers to my temples as if I could physically hold back the suffocating emotions. “It’s just, everything.” I exhaled a shaky breath. “I should have listened when everyone warned me about Reese. They were right. He hurt me—just ended things, like it wasn’t even a big deal to him.”

Parker’s expression softened and he looked back at the road, as if he couldn't stand to watch my heart break all over again. “Chan…”

“And you know what's crazy?” I continued, a bitter laugh escaping me. “All along, I’ve had this thing for Boston. Since I was five years old.” There, I said it—the secret I’d clung to for so many years.

Parker’s mouth fell open in genuine surprise. “You did?”

“Did you seriously not know?” I asked.

“No, I… I just thought you were always trying to follow us around because you wanted to be around your badass older brother,” he said, attempting to inject a little humor into his voice.

“Parker, love you, but no.” I rolled my eyes, leaning back against the seat, fatigued from the emotional rollercoaster of the day. I felt raw and exposed, but there was a certain relief in finally telling him the truth.

He shook his head. “I knew something strange was going on between the three of you at the ball.”

"Look," I blurted out, turning towards Parker. "This summer it felt like for the first time there was a chance, you know? To see if there might be something real between us. But I really liked Reese, and... and now I don't even have him. It's just all so messed up, especially now that we know they're brothers."

"First off..." he started, hesitating as if he was going to tell me something I didn’t want to hear. “I'd really prefer if you didn't date my teammates. There are plenty of other guys out there. Football players—actually, forget I said that. Your drama club friends, that nerdy school president kid… anyone else."

He paused, taking a deep breath, and when he spoke again, his voice was lower and filled with a sincerity I rarely heard from him. "And secondly, it would probably freak me out if you dated Boston. He's been my best friend, like, my whole life. So maybe it’s a good thing nothing happened there."

The silence was interrupted only by the rain pattering against the car. Then, in an even softer tone that I barely recognized as his, he added, "But last, and most importantly, you deserve the world, Chan. Nothing less. Don't ever let any guy make you cry, and don’t ever let them make you feel like you aren’t good enough. Okay?"

I swallowed hard, moved by the protective warmth radiating off him. For a moment, we shared a look, a silent understanding passing between us. Then, a subtle half-smile appeared on his face. "Besides, if I'd known Reese was ending things like that, I would've kicked his ass."

His attempt to lighten the mood worked. A small laugh escaped me, and I shook my head, the tension easing ever so slightly. "Thanks, Parker." I smiled, feeling a small fraction better as we continued our drive.

Raindrops continued to fall across the windows like tiny, fleeting tears, the sound a soothing backdrop to the unexpected moment we’d just had. I glanced over at Parker who was now smirking, clearly pleased with coaxing a smile out of me.

"Okay, okay," I admitted. "You know, you're not the worst brother in the world."

His smirk widened into a full grin, and he shot me a sideways glance, one eyebrow raised. "Not the worst? Thanks for the glowing review."

I rolled my eyes, but couldn't suppress another smile. "Well, you're certainly not the best brother either. But definitely not the worst… Oh, and Park? I think I need to try to speak to Boston tonight."

"Why?" he asked.

"Because," I hesitated, choosing my words carefully, "I just need him to know that I'm here for him if he needs me." There was more to it than that—unspoken feelings, regret, and unacknowledged moments—but this was neither the time nor the place.

Parker exhaled slowly. His hands were relaxed on the steering wheel now. "Okay," he said finally, "just don't be surprised if he needs space. I know that you’ve known him as long as I have. I get it, but he probably won't be in a great headspace."

"I know," I whispered. "But I won't sleep tonight if I don't at least try."

After everything, after spending the summer with the one person who could cut him deepest, I couldn't blame him for not wanting to speak to me.

The rest of the drive was lighter as I acknowledged the odd comfort of having Parker by my side. The car hummed along, tires splashing through puddles as we settled into silence that didn't need to be filled.

It was time to face my dilemma head-on. My fingers trembled slightly as I picked up my phone again and sent a message to Boston, so frustratingly distant lately. It was his team, but I had a right to be there too, damnit.

Me

Boston Riley, I know you’re seeing my text messages. We need to talk. Coming by your place tomorrow.

The next day, I pulled up to Parker and Boston's place, my heart drumming an anxious beat against my chest. I’d rehearsed the speech replaying in my mind all night. The words had to be just right—firm yet nonconfrontational. He needed to understand where I stood.

I gathered my courage, stepped out of the car, and approached their front door. But before my knuckles could tap against the wood, the door swung open. Parker's face greeted me, his brow arching mischievously.

"Whatever you're selling, we don't want it," he quipped.

"Very fun–," I started to say, but he shut the door, leaving me standing there. A bit deflated, I crossed my arms, contemplating whether to knock again or turn around and leave. But then the door reopened.

This time it was a girl I recognized from my party. She looked displeased and her hair was a mess. "I've been trying to tell him his jokes aren't funny," she sighed, casting a pointed look at Parker, who only smirked in response. She gave me a tight smile before nudging him gently. "Let's go, I'm hungry."

They brushed past me, and Parker paused, his humor subsiding into genuine concern. "What do you need, Chan?" he asked, dropping his usual antics for a moment.

"Oh, nothing," I lied, my voice nonchalant. "Just stopped by to say a few words to Boston."

Parker studied me for a heartbeat longer, clearly curious about what I might have to say. “Are you okay? Need me to stay?”

“No, I’ll be quick,” I responded.

He nodded toward the living room. "He's all yours," he said, stepping outside.

As I closed the door behind them and ventured further in, I found Boston sitting at the kitchen island, a bowl of cereal almost to his lips. His surprised gaze locked onto mine.

"Hey," I began, forcing my feet to carry me closer despite the butterflies fluttering in my stomach. He set down his bowl and waited. For a moment neither of us spoke, the silence stretched between us.

"Look, I need to say a few things," I started, then hesitated. This was Boston, after all. No matter what he was going through, he was still the boy who’d grown up next door, who had the kindest heart. And here I was, finally alone with him for the first time in what felt like an eternity.

"Go ahead," he encouraged, his voice gentle but wary. He stayed seated but there was tension in his shoulders, a readiness for whatever I might unleash upon him. I took a deep breath, ready to release my rant.

"I get that you're going through something, Boston, I do." My words came out in a rush. "But, unfortunately, I happen to be in need of a summer job." I clasped my hands together, fighting to keep them steady.

"Willow offered me one on the Blue Devils’ committee," I continued, trying to read his reaction, but he didn’t show a single emotion. "And I'm taking it." I swallowed, pushing on despite the tightness in my throat. "I appreciate that it's your team, and you obviously don't want me around."

I could see the tension in his jaw, but his eyes, those bright blues that I’d looked into for years—remained unreadable. There was so much history between us, so many unspoken words hanging heavily in the room.

"There are a number of reasons this isn't ideal," I admitted, feeling a knot forming in my stomach. "But it's not about that. Trust me, I don't want any drama this summer." I paused, waiting to see if he would interject, but he didn’t.

"I am staying away from boys, especially those in a blue jersey." My voice faltered just a bit as memories threatened to surface. I shook them off with a deep breath. "I just didn't want you to be surprised when you see me there." My gaze locked with his, daring him to challenge my decision. "I'll be there to do my thing, and you should do yours."

With my rant over, relief washed over me, even though my heart still hammered in my chest.

Unexpectedly, a trace of a smile flickered across Boston's lips—a rarity as of late. It caught me off guard, and my defenses momentarily wavered.

"Wait, what do you mean, ‘those in a blue jersey’? So you'd be with a guy in another color?" He gave me a teasing look before picking up the bowl again. "I hope it’s not red—the Titans. Those guys are the worst."

I blinked, taken aback. Then I shot a deadly glare at him. “That's your response to what I just said?” My voice was laced with disbelief. Without waiting for an answer, I pivoted on my heel, ready to walk out.

"Wait a sec," Boston said, a casual lilt in his tone that didn’t match the intensity of his gaze.

I paused as he reached out and grabbed my hand, pulling gently. The warmth of his touch sent an unexpected jolt through me. In one fluid motion, he spread his legs slightly in his too-familiar gray sweatpants and drew me into the space between them. The close proximity felt dangerously intimate, like playing with fire. There was power in his touch, strength in his thighs pressing against me. Our bodies were so close I could smell his cologne, feel every beat of his heart, every rise and fall of his chest as our breaths mingled in the silence of the room.

He tilted his head, and met my gaze with such intensity that it rendered me momentarily speechless. "I'm glad you'll be in Bayside," he began, his voice low and genuine, each word carefully measured, as if he knew the effect they would have. "Not just because I'm glad there'll be someone else around to keep Parker in check... but because it's you."

His words lingered. The weight of what he’d said rooted me in place for a moment—longer than I intended. Those words were like honey, sweet and slow, tempting me to believe I could break through the wall he had up.

"Sure, Boston. You’ve just been avoiding me all year." The response came out breathier than I intended, betraying the flutter in my chest. With reluctance, I withdrew from his grasp, feeling the loss of his warmth as our fingers slid apart. "I'll see you in Bayside."

I tossed the words over my shoulder and didn’t look back. I felt the weight of his gaze on me, heavy with things unsaid. Once outside, I inhaled deeply, air filling my lungs and chasing away the heat of his proximity.

My heart sank as the weight of the situation settled in. From that brief interaction it was clear this summer was going to be more difficult than I thought. They say you never forget your childhood crush, and mine was etched deep into my bones. But I could handle it. This would be a chance to find closure and maybe even happiness. At the very least, I hoped to emerge stronger and embrace whatever the future held for me.