25. Relic

Chapter twenty-five

Relic

I n my same seat in group therapy, I rolled my neck and stretched in an attempt to wake myself up. We had storms last night, Camila had a tornado of a meltdown, and I didn't fall asleep until near five in the morning. We lost power. Because of the storm or because I hadn't paid the bill, I had no idea, so I held Camila on the couch, telling her stories until she fell asleep. Because her body temperature happened to be five million degrees, I sweated out every ounce of fluid, making me so dehydrated I could drink an ocean's worth of water and still be parched.

Zuri's voice had this lullaby hum to it as she incessantly babbled on about how it was okay to make mistakes. I didn't believe Zuri. The luxury of making mistakes didn't belong to me. People with money could make all the mistakes they wanted. People like me lost real life shit over the simplest of choices.

Everyone else also seemed to have been seduced into a zombie state by Zuri's one-woman show. Lev had taken to lying on the floor to pet Zeus, Demarius' head dropped every few seconds, Melanie played with her friendship bracelets, and Macie stared into the vastness of space as her fingers tapped the beat to whatever song played in her brain.

I forced my own mind back to my conversation with Macie about the carjacking. Our next step was for me to take her to the crime scene. Before therapy started, I asked her if she wanted to go today, and she didn't answer. She'd never been back there since what happened, and I could tell with how translucent her skin was that she was not looking forward to the experience.

"…to make mistakes," Zuri continued, "it's only human."

Macie sang out something, and every eye shot to her. Even Zeus popped his head up.

"What did you say?" Zuri's forehead scrunched in confusion.

"You said it's only human," Macie answered.

"Yes, I did, but what did you mean by—"

Macie sang the line again and then continued the chorus of a Jonas Brothers song I had been forced to listen to in Macie's car more times than should be legally allowed. Melanie joined in with the next line, but what I didn't expect was Lev belting out a lyric like he was a brother belonging to the clan of Jonas.

Lev stood, leaned over to Macie, held his hand out to Melanie, and the invitation was clear as he began to dance, his red plaid skirt twirling as he spun. They joined him. With the music only they could hear in their heads, the three of them danced and sang to the rest of the chorus, causing Demarius to laugh and me to smile.

At the end of the chorus, Lev continued with the next verse, and that kid could sing. Demarius shared a "Did you hear that?" glance then he joined the dance party as he encouraged Lev to keep going with the appropriate "Hey now," and "Let's go!"

Macie's smile in my direction made me want to fall to my knees in worship. She beckoned me with her fingers, and the shake of my head informed her I'd have to be dead before I danced to this song. She laughed as if she could read my mind. Then, unfazed by me, she returned to moving her body in glorious ways that made me wonder when the two of us could have proper time alone so I could kiss her the way she deserved.

Zuri white-knuckled the papers in her hand, then whipped her head around.. Mrs. Collins stood, a hip cocked in the doorway, and watched the rebellion with an amused expression. Zuri threw out a hand in a "What do I do?" Mrs. Collins mouthed, "Go with it."

What a fucked-up group we truly were, but did it get much better than this?

As they ended the song, all of us, including me, gave Lev a standing ovation. He had a proud yet flustered smile along with red cheeks as he waved his hands at us. "Stop it. You're embarrassing me." Because we could tell he was eating it up, we went into another round of cheers.

We all sat, and Macie struck straight for the meat of the question on everyone's mind. "You are so talented, Lev. Why aren't you doing this all the time? In chorus or in musical theater at school?"

"Damn, don't box him in, Macie," Demarius said. "You have big talent. We should be showing your moves and singing on social media. You'd be a star in a heartbeat."

A dark raincloud settled over Lev, and it sucked all the joy from the room. Zeus trotted over to Lev and laid his head on his lap. Lev rubbed his ears with both hands as if he needed comfort.

"Tell us what's happening inside you," Zuri said in a kind voice. "This is a safe space for you. Everyone here cares and respects you."

Lev kept petting the dog then said, "My dad doesn't like me."

His hurt became a boomerang of sorrow that ricocheted off my soul.

"My mom said all Dad ever wanted was a son." Lev concentrated on Zeus, talking to the dog as if that were easier than facing anyone else. "My dad was a huge athlete in high school. All-Star everything. My earliest memories are of being at the batting cages or on the basketball court or even playing football. I hated it. All of it."

"What do you like?" Zuri prodded.

Lev glanced up at Zuri, just for a moment. "Music." Then back to Zeus. "Music fills my body, and it comes out as dancing. It fills my soul and comes out as song. When I dance or sing, I feel like me." His face scrunched like he was fighting tears, then he shook his head as if frustrated. "But Dad hates it when I'm me."

"I like you." Melanie leaned toward Lev to grab his attention. "I like it when you're being you."

"Me, too," Macie said.

"I'm all in for everything that is you," Demarius added.

Lev peeked at me. I didn't join in due to peer pressure, but because it was the truth. "I have nothing but respect for you. I have a shit dad, too. Those motherfuckers don't define us."

"He's still my dad, though. How do you get past wanting your dad to be an actual dad?"

His question shot an arrow into pain I had buried deep, and I crossed my arms to try to push it back down. "I don't know. But I can't let that bastard win."

To be honest, I didn't understand what I was saying. They were words that came from a place I never allowed myself to visit, but the way Lev's eyes empathized with me, the way he nodded, told me he did understand. If that were the case, I wished he'd explain it to me.

The timer went off, and all of us jumped and shifted in our seats as the beeping shocked us out of a deep state. Zuri forced a smile. "That was a great session everyone. I'm proud of all of you."

Mrs. Collins walked into the room. "Lev, would you mind hanging back with me and Zuri for a few minutes?"

Lev nodded, and as I stood, I clapped him on the back because what else could I do to make him feel better? "See you at work." Tomorrow, as I had off today.

Everyone else also specifically said goodbye to Lev, and we left the room silently as a group, Lev hanging heavily on everyone's mind, or at least mine. How could we get over our fathers?

Once outside, none of us dispersed to our appointed cars or rides. No one wanted to leave or, like me, no one wanted to abandon Lev. Finally, Melanie said, "We should do something for Lev. Something to let him know we care about him."

Macie blinked in an I-should-have-thought-of that way. "It's a good idea."

"We can go to my house," Demarius offered. "We have an inground pool, and we can go swimming. Or we have a home theater room and can watch movies. My parents love it when I have people over. I promise they will barbecue us a feast. I can ask Lev if he wants to stay the night so he doesn't have to worry about a ride from his dad."

Macie looked up at me. "Will that work for you?"

Work for me? I wondered why the hell Demarius had been holding out on us. "Give me the day and I'll have Camila stay the night with her great aunt."

"Or you can bring Camila," Demarius said. "I have two younger sisters. The one in middle school loves little kids, and my youngest sister is the same age as Camila."

I nodded because I didn't know what to say. His generosity was more than anyone else had ever thought to give me.

"Let's make it a plan," Macie said. "Good idea, Melanie."

Melanie beamed. "When?"

"I'm off today," Demarius said. "But we could do it any night after work."

"I only work a half day today," Melanie said. "I'll be off at six."

Both Macie and I were off, so I glanced down at her. Lev worked in a different set of rides, so he had another supervisor than her, but she was already on her phone checking the master schedule. "Lev's off today, too. Are you sure today's not short notice, Demarius?"

"I promise my parents will love having you all over. And I'm serious about you bringing your younger sister."

Macie glanced into the parking lot, and we all followed her train of sight. Luckily, a woman was in the car to pick up Lev. "Do you think she's nicer than Lev's dad?"

"I sure as shit hope so," I mumbled.

Lev walked out and smiled when he noticed all of us. "Did you miss me?"

"Yes," Melanie said, and Lev's smile widened.

"Would you like to stay the night at my house?" Demarius asked.

Lev blinked in surprised. "For real?"

"Yeah. Everyone's coming. We'll go swimming, watch movies. It'll be fun."

For the first time, Lev seemed speechless and then said, "When?"

"Now," Demarius said. "Or another day. I can give you a ride. We just want you there."

Lev ran a hand through his shoulder length curly locks like he was trying to wake himself from a dream. "Let me go ask my mom."

He walked across the parking lot then talked to his mom through the open window. He did a lot of pointing in our direction, and she continually glanced back and forth between Lev and us. His mother nodded and Lev smiled like he'd won a million dollars. He turned toward us, gave us a thumbs up, and it was weird how his joy brought me happiness.

***

Demarius lived in a gated community in the biggest house I'd ever seen. Camila's eyes weren't the only ones that fell out of their head. I still felt like I was trying to shove mine back in. Camila immediately took to Demarius' little sister Joppa. Along with Lev, I swear the two of them slid down the water slide into the inground pool a million times. With Camila not knowing how to swim, I accepted Demarius' mom's offer of borrowing a swimsuit for Camila that had floatation pieces in it. His family, like Demarius, were beyond generous.

They made us hot dogs, hamburgers, ribs, potato salad, mac n' cheese, appetizers, all the sides imaginable, and fudge brownies.

I hadn't seen this much food in my life, and who knew if I would again? I had learned early in life to take advantage of what I had in front of me when I had it. There was never a promise of anything in the next hour, much less tomorrow.

After dinner, we relaxed on their back patio, chatting it up with one another, and as the group moved to the basement to watch a movie, I went to check in on Camila. I found her in their massive living room on their overstuffed couch sound asleep. Joppa also counting sheep beside her. I gave a small smile to see them holding hands.

I crouched next to Camila and whispered, "Hey, sleepy head, did you swipe a nightgown?" She wore a Moana nightshirt identical to Joppa's.

Camila's eyes fluttered open and she said in a hushed voice, "Joppa told me to wear it. I like it here."

Yeah, I liked it here, too.

She closed her eyes and cuddled into the couch. "They have food and we're safe here."

I silently cursed myself for not being able to give her a safe home. Camila had already fallen back asleep, her chest rising and falling in a steady and serene pattern.

"They're precious together," Demarius' mom whispered as she leaned a shoulder against the entryway to the kitchen.

"Yeah." I stood, not knowing what to do with myself. Normally, I could talk to anyone about anything. But something about adults who made a shit ton of money made me mute, especially since she probably heard that exchange. "Thank you for today. I appreciate it."

"You and your sister are always welcome here. Joppa took to Camila, so I'm sure she'll be begging for a playdate again soon. Do you mind if Demarius gives me your cell number so we can set something up? Or if you're comfortable, you could give it to me now."

A part of me cringed because there was no way I could offer to reciprocate, but being a survivor, I said, "Yeah, that'd be great." Because that meant I had one more safe place to take my sister to so she could escape the hellscape that was our life.

Demarius' mom took out her phone, I rattled off my number, and then hated myself for having to take Camila home. But my sister was passed out on their couch, and I didn't want to overstay our welcome. "I'll get her things together, change her back into her clothes, and we'll get out of your hair."

As I went to gather what little Camila brought with her, Demarius' mom came into the living room. "You don't need to. Go out and have fun with your friends. I'll keep an eye on them. They played so hard today I'd be shocked if they twitched let alone woke up. Even if they did, it's not a big deal. If you want, she can stay the night. Lev's already staying. It'll be one big slumber party."

So easy. So kind. I wondered what the hell it would be like to feel as if anything wasn't a big deal. "You sure?"

"My son smiled today." Demarius' mom looked like she could cry, yet she was smiling. The combination of the two emotions confused me. "I never want this day to end."

Neither did I.