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16. Macie

Chapter sixteen

Macie

L ike always, Mom and Dad were up waiting for me. They were standing at the island in our kitchen, Mom with a cup of tea in her hand. At the sight of me, they both broke into huge, somewhat confused smiles. "Hey, Mace," Dad said. "Good night?"

"The best." I hung my keys on the hook by the door. "You don't have to wait up for me."

Last summer, when I worked late and then went out with friends, it was understood that I had to be home by midnight. They'd trusted me and were asleep in bed when I returned home. But like so many other things, their waiting up was one more thing that had changed.

Neither one of them answered, and I understood they would wait up for me for the rest of their lives. As I began heading for stairs, I stopped dead in my tracks. "Dang it."

"What?" Dad asked.

"I forgot to fill my car up with gas." Not that it was a huge deal, but now Relic needed to meet me earlier, and I had no idea if that would cause conflicts with his schedule with Camila.

"I'll do it." Dad grabbed his shoes by the door then sat at the table to put them on.

That wasn't what I had intended, and I felt guilt. "You don't have to do that."

Dad stood, gave me a side hug, and placed a kiss on my temple. "I want to." He grabbed my keys off the hook and left out the door to the garage.

I shuffled from one foot to the other. "He didn't need to do that."

Mom set her cup on the island. "Your dad would literally give you the world if he could."

I knew that, but I also didn't understand why we had moments when we fought so hard.

"Want some chamomile tea?" Mom asked. "The kettle's still hot, so it won't take long."

I felt like an energized live wire after kissing Relic, and maybe the tea would help calm me so that I could get some actual sleep. I sat at the island and watched as Mom put on the tea kettle then fished out a cup. "How was work?" Mom asked.

"Good. We met attendance goals, so management was happy, but we were understaffed, so I had to do some creative maneuvering to make sure everyone had their breaks on time."

"That's good to hear on the attendance, and I'm sure you did an amazing job with the breaks." That was Mom, my phenomenal personal cheerleader. "How was the friend get-together?" The kettle whistled and she poured the hot water in the cup.

"Good," I answered. She slid the cup toward me, and I swirled the teabag. Ever since I was a child, I enjoyed the calming ritual of watching the bag dance in the water.

"Which friends were there?"

"Gianna, of course. Most of the girls from the volleyball team. Gianna was drunk by the time we left, but one of the sober girls from the team agreed to drive her home."

"Do you feel like her drinking is getting out of hand?"

"I don't know," I answered honestly. "She's changed a lot, but so have I, so I don't know how to judge myself or anyone."

Mom reached over and squeezed my hand. She wore a short-sleeved shirt that revealed the faded scars from the traumatic event she survived when she was a teenager. The red marks zigzagged over her arms. "After what you went through, did you feel like everything and everyone changed so quickly it was hard to keep up?" I inquired.

"I felt like I was in a constant stage of whiplash."

"Did you lose friends?" I thought of Gianna.

"Yes. Lila stayed by my side, but I lost all my other friends. I made new ones, though. The best of friends." That was when she had met the people that we considered family now. "I know I make it sound like it was so easy, so seamless, but it wasn't. There were days I thought I would never be happy again, but I did find happiness. A better happiness than I had before. It's hard to see it, but this moment is just a quick flash in your life. An awful moment, and all the horrible feelings you have are valid, but time does ease pain. What you went through will always be there, but you will find happiness."

Was Mom right? Could I ever sit in a car again without feeling this crushing fear? Would I ever be able to talk about February without feeling like I was choking? Not sure, I returned to swirling the teabag in the cup.

"Anyone in particular you enjoyed seeing tonight?" Mom asked, and without meaning to, my eyes snapped to hers. Mom gave a soft smile as she settled into a stool across from me. "So, there is someone special."

"I didn't say that," I replied too quickly.

"When you said you left the party, you said "we" left the party. Not I."

My mouth gaped and my brain froze. I could lie like I had been lying about so many other things to her. The smart thing to do would be to lie because I had enough going on in my life, and I didn't need Dad being all overprotective about a guy. Relic and I were easy, and I wanted to keep it that way. But I didn't want to lie because part of me longed to talk to Mom about Relic. Also, I was caught. "Will you tell Dad?"

"Depends on what there is to tell."

I nibbled on my bottom lip as I weighed my options. "Can you not tell Dad, at least not now? Because it's new and I don't quite understand it myself. But if Dad finds out, he'll demand that he comes to the door so Dad can meet him, then Dad will make everything a big deal and I'm not ready for this to be a big deal."

"How do you know this person?"

This was where things could get tricky because if Mom learned Relic was in my therapy group, I had a feeling she'd be super unhappy. Dad grew up in rough neighborhood, and he made it clear I wasn't allowed in certain areas—and that was before February. The market where we dropped Relic off at was one of Dad's no-fly zones. So, did that no-fly zone include my hanging out with someone from that neighborhood?

"We go to school together." That was the truth. "And he began working at the park this summer."

"Does he treat you well?" Mom asked.

I smiled without meaning to, thinking of all the wonderful things he had done for me since we met. "Yes."

"It's good to see you smile," Mom said. "I've missed it."

"He says something similar."

"Then he sounds like someone who notices you. That's something special, Macie. Not everyone possesses the ability to see past themselves."

So true, but my stomach twisted. What did that say about the before-February-me? "He noticed me before I ever noticed him. I don't know how to explain it. Things look different to me now. I see things I didn't before."

"I understand." And I believed that she did. "But while I understand what you're saying about not wanting to tell your father about your new relationship—"

I tossed a hand in the air. "Not a relationship."

"Regardless, I can't keep this a secret for long," she said. "It would hurt your dad if he found out I kept this from him. Plus, you know your Dad's rule—he wants to meet anyone you are dating. Is it really a big deal for your dad to meet someone interested in you?"

"Yes," I stated plainly. "Dad will make a huge deal out of this. Right now, it's simple and I want it to remain simple. I haven't had a lot of simple and I deserve simple." Because Dad would ask Relic a million questions, and they would all lead back to the same place: where do you come from and what are your intentions with my daughter?

Relic's intentions were the same as mine—our mutual beneficial relationship of a ride, time spent together, and then kissing when we wanted. I had a feeling at least two out of those three were not on Dad's acceptable dating behavior. How did one explain to their parents that you're in a friends-with-kissing-benefits non-relationship and that this was exactly what you wanted?

"Your dad would only want to meet him to make sure this boy will treat you well."

"He does. He's respectful, he makes me laugh, and I like being around him. Can you talk to Dad and see if he can let loose on some of his dating rules? I'm going to be eighteen soon. I should be able to make my own dating decisions without his input."

Mom tapped a finger against the granite as she mulled my request. "That's a big ask."

She was one hundred percent right, yet I said, "Please?"

Mom sighed heavily and I practically bounced as that meant I won. "I'll talk to your dad about the rules," Mom said, "but that doesn't mean he'll give. You inherited your stubbornness from him. There are only so many miracles I can work."

"You can do it." I stood, taking my teacup with me. "I know you can."

"Sleep tight, Macie," Mom said as I went to leave.

But then I turned at the doorway and looked at Mom. "He kissed me tonight."

Mom's eyes widened with shock, but then she gave me a gentle smile. "How was it?"

I took a sip of tea to hide my embarrassment. "It was an awesome first kiss."

"Thank you for sharing that with me. I'm glad you had a wonderful night."

I loved that I had the type of relationship where I could share this with my mom. "Good night."

"Good night, baby girl. Have all the best dreams."

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