13. Relic

Chapter thirteen

Relic

M acie and I just didn't walk into the party; we held hands as we entered. To say that her brat pack of friends were shocked would have been an understatement. We hung out in the living room and shot the shit with everyone. When anyone asked Macie how work went, her answer was easy-breezy, as if she couldn't tell their eyes were falling out of their heads. I looped an arm around her shoulder to push her friend group over the edge, and it was obvious they were dying with questions. I had to admit, I enjoyed the feel of Macie in the shelter of my body, loved having her body that close to mine. I had to resist the urge to lean in and nuzzle her hair, to kiss that tempting neck of hers. If she was my girl, that was what I would do. But we weren't an item. We were faking, but still…

I leaned over to whisper in Macie's ear. "Want to head out back?"

Her eyes had a beautiful twinkle to them as she answered, "Yes."

"Macie." Gianna patted the barely-there space on the couch next to her. "Come sit with me for a second."

Macie gave me a smirk and said, "Give me a minute, okay?"

"I'll meet you out back."

I nodded to people I knew as I headed to the backyard. Unlike last time, several people hung on the deck, and one of them was Marsh. He flashed a wide grin the moment he saw me then gave me a fast pat of a hug. "What's up, brother?"

"Nice on texting Lyra on the party. She blew up my phone for an hour straight."

His smile only widened. "It worked, and you're here, aren't you? And she's right. You need to live a little more. With that new job, I hardly see your ass."

I moved a few steps away from everyone else. Marsh followed and I assessed him, head to toe. Still in a brace, but nothing else seemed injured. "You doing okay?"

"I'm good."

"Last time I saw you, Eric was busting my balls. Did he give you shit that night?"

Fear flashed over his expression, and he glanced away as if to hide it. "Doesn't matter does it? I'm stuck and I can't get out."

Part of me wanted to tell him he could walk from Eric. That was what judgmental, rich people would say, but unless people lived this life, no one could understand. Leaving would mean literally packing your ass up and moving to a different state. Who could afford that shit? Even then, there were no guarantees that monster wouldn't follow you to the ends of the Earth.

"I'm keeping the mortgage paid, though," Marsh said. "Food on the table. We even had chicken last night for dinner." Lyra, Camila, and I lived on a steady diet of rice, beans, and peanut butter, so I understood meat was a big deal.

"I bought Mom a pack of grapes and you should have seen her face," Marsh continued. "It was the first time I'd seen her smile since she started this round of chemo."

Marsh's mom had done good on her own as a single mom after his dad died in a car accident when Marsh was a toddler. Things were tight, but they made it. When she received the breast cancer diagnosis and the chemo kept her from working, that was when shit hit the fan financially and Marsh began working for Eric. "How is your mom?"

He shrugged. "You know her. She smiles and says she's fine."

But the hollowness in his eyes told me things weren't going well. "She misses you. You should come by and see her."

"You sure?" I'd been staying away because her immune system was so jacked.

"She'll come out onto the porch. Keep your distance, but she's tired of being isolated."

"I'll come by this week."

"That'll make her month."

"Hey!" Macie said behind me, and her beautiful voice created all sorts of chaos in my chest. Made me feel like I had no weights on my shoulders.

"Hey," I said back and took advantage of our plan to wrap an arm around her shoulder again. She beamed up at me like she was the sun, and I couldn't understand why I gravitated so easily to her light. "I want you to meet my best friend." I tilted my head to Marsh. "Macie, this is Marsh. Marsh, this is Macie."

Macie turned that sunshine smile onto Marsh. "It's nice to meet you."

Off his game, as Marsh was typically smooth as butter with girls, Marsh blinked, then his eyes darted between me and Macie. I lowered my head as I got it—Marsh couldn't believe what he was seeing. But he got it together enough to give her a chin nod. "S'up."

"We've had some classes together."

"Yeah. Spanish. Freshman year." He gave me that sly tilt of his head informing me he was about to bust my balls. Fuck. Me. "Relic was in there, too."

Macie's gaze whipped in my direction. "Really?"

"Really," Marsh repeated. "Relic noticed you the moment you first walked in the door."

"And this is where Marsh says goodnight," I interjected.

Marsh barked a short laugh, and I guided Macie from him. She complied, but turned her head to look at him from over her shoulder. "Are you suggesting he had a crush on me?"

"He crashed so hard we had to send in paramedics," Marsh called out. Macie gasped with delight, and I flipped Marsh off. Marsh laughed harder than I'd heard for a while, and it was good for my soul, no matter how much I wanted to punch him in the face.

I took Macie's hand and led her away from everyone else and into the shadows, to the area where the flames of the fire pit barely highlighted our surroundings. I sat on a lone patio chair and gently pulled on her hand, indicating she should sit on my lap. She hesitated as she studied me. "I've never sat on a guy's lap before."

Not a big deal and I began to stand. "We can find someplace else to hang."

"No." She motioned for me to sit. "This is fine. It's…new to me."

I paused in this awkward half-standing, half-sitting pose. "You sure?"

"Yes, I'm sure."

I returned to my seat and Macie sat on my thighs, perched mainly on my knees. I had to temper my smile as I asked, "You sure you're okay with this. It's not a big deal to move."

"I'm perfectly perfect."

The smile won regardless of the fight. Macie straightened with that flash temper of hers. "You're laughing at me."

"I'm not."

"You are."

"I am," I admitted, and I laughed when she smiled in shock and irritation at my truth.

"I should get up," she threatened.

"You can. Offer to sit someplace else still stands."

"You had a crush on me." And the balance of power shifted. Well done, Mazie Hutchinson. Well done.

I could have denied it, but what was the point? "Have."

Her forehead furrowed in confusion. "What?"

"You said I had a crush on you. I corrected the verb."

Macie froze like a deer, and I moved the conversation forward. "But then again, who hasn't had a crush on you?"

That kicked-started her as she rolled her eyes. "Easy answer. No one."

So, she was choosing denial to handle the conversation. "Naw, that's wrong."

"It's right."

"Macie," I hesitated to find the correct words. "You're a fucking goddess. Gorgeous inside and out. You don't notice everyone falling all over you because you see more than high school. You see your future, and that's where you get your power. For three seconds, I'd love to be inside your mind just to have an ounce of an idea of what that feels like."

The softening in her eyes and face made her look so damn exquisite it hurt. Macie's muscles relaxed, but she still kept a safe distance from my body. "I bet you say that to all the girls who you're trying to kiss."

"I honestly don't say much to them other than asking if they're game to make out."

"Do you want to kiss me?" she asked in a whisper.

"Yes." More than I had ever wanted to kiss anyone in my life.

The nerves radiating from her felt like wind off an icy lake, but the way her fingers found their way to my arm and caressed my skin told me spring might be on the way. She studied me, and I gave her time. She finally said, "I've never kissed anyone before."

Now, nerves invaded my body. "I've never kissed anyone I liked before. Do you think it's different?" I hoped it would be. I hoped it would be explosive, mind altering, and give me memories I could hold onto when the world became cold all over again.

Macie glanced at her fingers that had made their way to my wrist. She made slow, seductive circles that were turning me inside out in the best way possible. "I can't do a relationship. Besides the fact I'm messed up in my head, I've never wanted to be in a relationship. Not in high school. My parents did that, and while I'm glad they did and they're super happy, I also know they sacrificed things they wanted in life to be together so young. I don't want that. I'm not ready to sacrifice my dreams for anyone."

It broke my heart how different and similar Macie and I were. Taking a risk, I slowly reached out to her, inching at a snail's pace to caress her cheek. She didn't pull away, but instead met my gaze. Her eyes filled with trust, and my fingers slid against her soft skin.

Relationship? There was nothing redeemable inside me to consider having one of those. I had nothing worth offering to anyone, especially someone as wonderful as her. I was an empty vessel, all hollowed out. "Then I'm your man. I don't do relationships, either."

She tilted her head. "What happens? We kiss and then you act like I never exist? Maybe you forgot, but I still need a ride to work."

Act like she never existed? It could never happen. Since the moment she stepped into that classroom, Macie Hutchins had always existed for me, but she and I would never work—at least not long term. "You and I have a mutual need. You need me to drive, and I need that ride. Nothing will change that."

"You could drive me and ignore me. I don't want to mess up being friends."

Friends. I didn't have many of those. Marsh was my best friend—my only friend. Everyone else drifted in and out of the periphery. Were we becoming friends? I stroked along her cheek again, and she leaned into my touch. God, she had the softest skin and the most beautiful dark eyes I could get lost in forever.

"You don't want to kiss, we don't kiss," I said. "It's as easy as that. But if you want to kiss, I swear to you, nothing will change."

Macie bit her bottom lip and her doing so only brought my attention to her perfect mouth. "I'm not sure it works that way."

"Don't get lost in movies. Feelings and kissing don't have to mix. Attraction and love aren't synonymous. That's all bull made up by someone trying to sell you impossible ideas by heartbroken romantics. But it's okay if you don't want to kiss. You stand up, start walking, and I'll join you inside. We'll stay for as long as you like, I'll bring you home, and everything goes on the way it did before."

She swallowed and I watched her delicate throat move, wondering what it would be like to press my lips there. Her fingers slid up my arm, causing heat to surge through my blood. Did she have any idea how her touch affected me? "And if we kiss?"

"Then we kiss, have some fun, and then the world goes on exactly how it had before."

Was I lying? Yes. No. If we kissed, I would make sure the world would go on as it had before, but I had no doubt, the moment her lips pressed mine, I would be forever changed.