25. Pallas

The soldiers were gathering in the front of the castle, forming long, perfect rows that slowly exited through the wooden gates underneath the stone dragon carvings. I watched them, a silent apparition from where I stood high up on a balcony. I looked past the castle walls and out towards the city of Xyr. Despite the army moving through it, people milled about happily, some coming up to the soldiers as they passed and waving. Children ran through the lines as they expertly moved around them as if this was a common occurrence.

Thesun shone brightly, and the storm that had threatened the skies earlier passed the city by. A soft breeze rolled up from the sea, and hints of summer could be felt despite how cool Xyr always remained. The mists that seemed to shroud this place were nowhere to be seen.

Below, a young human woman stuffed lavender flowers into a passing soldier's hand before leaning in to kiss him on the cheek, tears streaming down her face. He embraced her swiftly, planting a soft kiss on the top of her head before rejoining his ranks.

Thelull of the summer sun had me in a daze, and my mind convinced me I could smell those flowers on the breeze that ruffled my hair.

Thesunshine I missed more desperately than I realized soaked into my skin, a high more beautiful than any glass of ambrosia. I leaned against the stone railing of the balcony, my head tilted back, exposing myself to as much of that warm, golden light as I could.

Mymind wandered, and I drifted back to a summer from so long ago, it felt like a different life.

515 yearsago

Thewarm summer breeze wafted the gentle scent of ambrosia across the blossoming garden. Hadeon's long mahogany hair fluttered in the breeze as he lay with his head in my lap. The warm light of the sun lit up his tan skin until he glowed almost golden, just like the flowers around us. Just like the kingdom that would one day be his. We had both been so young then, barely twenty-five, nothing more than children in the life of a fae. I always thought it was destiny speaking to me that I had found a lover almost the exact same age.

Iswept a stray piece of hair behind his long ear, and he blessed me with his perfect smile. He reached up and ran his hand under my jaw and behind my head, gently pulling me in for a soft kiss. I wished to stay in that moment forever.

"Do you have to go?"

Hisperfect smile became marred with doubt. "I'm the GreatHero. Father has me training every day. I have to fight the WorldBreaker. It's what I was meant for. He says it won't be long now before the war begins. The dragons have already been causing disturbances."

"What if something happens to you? I don't think I could—"

"Pallas." He sat up, his hand still behind my neck, holding my face close to his own. "I'm the most powerful fae in Adimos. No dragon can stop me; no one can."

Icouldn't meet his eyes. Something always shimmered in them when he talked about the WorldBreaker. Something that I hated, a darkness that I could pretend didn't exist in the light of the summer sun.

"What about when it"s over and your destiny is fulfilled?"

"Ha! Well then, we will drink, party, and celebrate the return of magic! I'll be a hero, the GreatHero."

WhenI looked at him, I still saw that broken boy I'd nursed in the dungeons. We never discussed the truth that he was not Obion's son and what the king had done to him. I had tried, but that darkness flared in him whenever it was mentioned. I'd been so young. So young and cowardly, and so desperately in love.

"We could go away. Just leave it all behind, the prophecy and this place. Just you and me." I couldn't meet his eyes as I said it, a coward, through and through.

Istill didn't look at him, so he pulled on my neck until our noses touched.

"And give all this up? This place will be all mine someday, and I'll be the king. It's as much my destiny as any prophecy." He pushed my head back until I was forced to meet his gaze. "And then, I'll make you my queen."

BeforeI could respond, he locked me in a deep kiss, pushing me down onto the warm grass beneath us. He still held me gently then, treating my body with reverence as he pulled my pleasure from me. "Soon magic will return, and everything will be as it should be. And you, Pallas? You'll be mine? By my side, always?"

"Always, Hadeon."

Hepulled me into another deep kiss, and his fingers unlaced the bodice of my dress. He ran his lips down my neck, his light breath was unbearable on my heated skin. He continued to trail kisses across my skin until his lips caressed the curve of my breast, and his teeth scraped along the tender surface. I shivered and my nipples peaked, hard against the warm air. I felt him murmur, "HowI love to devour you." Our sweet moans entwined with the warm breeze, and I thought about how very blessed I was to be getting everything I ever wanted.

The warm summer sun of Xyr helped clear the tears that fell from my cheeks. Five hundred years had passed since then, and I was still that idiotic girl.

Footstepssounded on the balcony behind me, and I quickly wiped the tears away. I turned from the sun to see CommanderAvlyn with a broad smile lighting up their face.

"I've been sent to fetch you, my lady." They met my eyes, and that smile faltered. "Is everything alright?"

Ipulled on that mask I knew so well, hardening my features. I don't know why I found it more difficult to do recently. "I'm just fine, Commander. When the princess summons me, who am I to ignore it?"

Thatworried look didn't leave Avlyn's face. "If you would rather remain at the castle… I don't know what we are going to face out there."

"What? And give up this chance to distract you in a dangerous situation? Not a chance, Commander."

Asmile tugged and Avlyn's lips. "Careful now, Pallas, or I just might think you are starting to like me."

"Looks like someone has been sipping on the princess' mushroom tea," I said flatly.

Atthat, Avlyn laughed loudly and without restraint. Tears formed in their eyes, and they wiped them away with the back of their hand.

"It wasn't that funny."

"Maybe not, but I'm just happy to see you relaxing for half a second and acting like a real fae, not some stone statue."

Ilooked away as shame filled me.

"Aw fuck, PallasI didn't mean it like that…"

"It's alright, Commander, it's what I deserve." I pulled the stone mask back on.

"Hey… don't do that." Avlyn gently placed a hand on my arm, but I flinched away as if they had struck me.

Isaw the hurt in their eyes. It latched inside of me like tar sticking to my ribs, and no matter what I did, I couldn't get rid of it. So, I turned to face the balcony again.

"I'll see you on the boat then." Avlyn said as I heard them leaving the balcony.

"It was me." Their retreating footsteps stopped. "I made the collar; I made the collar that was on Jun." The tears flowed again, and for the first time in centuries, I didn't try to hide them. "It nearly killed him, and it was all my fault."

Avlyndidn't flee from my shame or try and quiet me. Instead, they grasped my hand in theirs. "And why did you make that collar, Pallas?" I didn't answer but they knew anyway. "The only one to blame here is Hadeon and his thirst for power." They gently ran their finger over my cheek, wiping away the tears that still fell. "You don't have to hold on to that guilt. It's a heavy burden, even for someone as strong as you."

Iwanted to argue. I'm not strong. I'm weak and cowardly. Why can't you see what's right in front of you? ButAvlyn's gaze was so warm, warmer than the sun that reflected off their dark, rich skin. AllI could say was, "It's not just the collar. I've done so much, so many unforgivable things…"

Theirwarm, calloused hand stayed on my cheek. "Well, I'm just a stupid brute, so I can't tell you what will become of all those sins in your past. ButI can ask you, what do you want to do with your future? It's yours now, Pallas, ready for you to shape into whatever you want. Don't spend so long looking backward that you forget to move forward." They gave me a gentle smile.

Isniffled, "That was quite poetic."

Thesmile grew bigger. "My mentor always had a big soft spot for poetry." They finally dropped their hands away, and I had to use all my will not to lean into them.

"Come find me in the entrance hall when you are ready to take that first step." They strode away and I was left alone again.

7 monthsago

"Don't collar him Hadeon. It will mute his magic. He won't be able to—" Hadeon raised a hand to silence me. His other held the collar.

Hecaressed the golden metal and flipped it over to examine the glyphs inside. He set it on the table before flicking a dagger out of his belt and pricking his finger. A single drop of crimson blood welled up, and he smeared it over the embedded clear crystal at the throat of the collar. Purple lightning flashed as he activated the spell with his magic. The crystal hummed and turned violet.

"Please, I'm begging you, please. I haven't asked you for anything. Please just let him be. I'll give you anything."

Hadeonturned away from the desk and finally looked at me. His expression changed to one I hadn't seen in decades. His eyes grew soft, and his mouth turned down in the smallest frown. He reached out with a gentle hand, running it over my hair and slowly under my jaw to grasp my cheek. He pulled me into his chest, and I felt him breathe in the scent of my hair.

"Oh, Pallas." He gave me a gentle kiss on the top of my head, and I felt my body relax. He was going to listen; he really was.

"What the fuck could you possibly offer me of any value?"

Mycalm shattered like ice, but before I could push away, he gripped me with all his strength and sent lightning through me.

Ithad been years since he made me scream with his magic. I had been a fool; even after everything, I let myself believe that this time would be different. Maybe this time I would see that boy I had held in my arms on that golden balcony so long ago when we were both just younglings.

Thistime, I screamed and screamed. Deep inside, claws lashed and tore me to pieces for the very last time. His lips slammed into mine as his tongue shoved its way into my mouth. He smothered me as his power destroyed me down to my very core. I thought I would pass out when he finally released my mouth and bit down on my earlobe until I knew it bled.

"You're mine, Pallas. You will always be mine. Don't ever forget that again."

Hereleased another jolt of power so intense that my legs and arms seized up, and he released me. I collapsed in a boneless heap on the floor.

Heleft without another word, and tears flowed down my cheeks silently. The cold stone floor seemed a relief for my burning skin. Deep inside me that feral creature raked her claws over my stomach and my heart. She curled up and purred words that I hadn't even dared to think for nearly five centuries. I'm not yours. Not anymore.