Chapter 43

FORTY-THREE

I dream of him. His warm hand cups my cheek, and he has a bright smile on his face. I don't ever want to wake up. I lean into his hand, soaking in his warmth and his familiar smile, even though he smells odd, like antiseptic.

"Fallon." His voice sounds wrong, distant, and he starts to fade.

"No, don't go," I beg, trying to hold onto him, but he fades into mist, and my head jerks up from where it was resting on the hospital bed. I was asleep?

It was a dream. This is still a dream. He's looking at me, his hand reaching for me as his lips tilt up. "Fallon."

I blink at his pale yet smiling face. "It's just a dream. It's not real," I tell him. "You're . . ."

"Apparently not dead," he jokes.

"Impossible," I whisper brokenly. "It's a dream. They told me there was no hope, that you wouldn't wake up and you were as good as dead."

"Baby, you should know better than to give up on me." His hand finally touches me, cool but alive. I jerk back, falling from my chair. I made Elijah bring me back here despite the doctors' warnings. They said he lost too much blood, and after the surgeries, they didn't think he would wake up, but they tried anyway.

There was hope, just a spark, but I squashed it. He was dead. He was lifeless. I checked myself. I screamed and cried and begged, and he didn't wake up.

"No, this is a dream, just a mean fucking dream," I whisper, tears falling once more. At this point, though, I don't know how I'm still able to cry. "But still, I'll take it. I'll live in this dream with you if I have to."

"Then come here." He holds out his hand. He's lying on his hospital bed, machines beeping at his side. Shouldn't he have the thingy in his nose and mouth? I suppose since it's a dream, he took it out so he could talk. I shuffle closer.

"A mean dream," I murmur, "but I don't care. I love you, Kage. I need you to know that. I love you, and I'll stay right here with you." I grasp his hand, clinging to him even if this isn't real.

"Does this feel like a dream?" He squeezes my hand and tugs me closer. "Don't I feel real? How about now?" He pulls me down and kisses me softly. "Do I taste like a dream?" he murmurs against my lips. "I'm alive, baby. Now what's this about you loving me?"

"It's you. It's really you," I whisper, my eyes widening. "You're awake!"

He laughs, but I try to stumble away.

"Doctors!" I yell.

"They came in while you were sleeping, apparently just as shocked as you were. I have a long road of recovery ahead of me, but I'm stubborn and alive. How could I leave you when you asked me to stay?" He pulls me back to his side. "Just come here and hold me, that's all I need. Just stay right here forever."

"I promise." I lean in, looking into his eyes. "Are you really okay?"

"I'm okay, sweetheart," he vows, kissing me again. "Now, about this love?—"

"Don't push it," I tease before I sober. "I love you. I should have said it sooner."

His face softens, and despite the pain he must be in, he pulls me closer. "I knew you loved me, Fallon, even if you could never say the words. It was in your eyes when you looked at me, in your kiss, your touch, your words, and your actions. You might have been unable to say it, but you showed me a thousand ways, and I would have died a happy man knowing that."

Shaking my head, I wipe at my tears as I lean my head into him. "I thought I lost you forever," I whisper before sitting up, narrowing my eyes on him. "Don't do that shit again, okay?"

His smile is so bright, it might as well have the sun trapped inside. "I won't promise not to protect you because I'll always choose saving you over myself, but I promise to try to stay alive."

"For as long as I am," I order. "You don't get to die before me, okay? I don't want to live in a world without you." It's something I realized when I stared at his silent body. Kage rearranged my world and put himself in the center, and now I don't want to live without him—not that I can't, but I don't want to.

"The moon doesn't exist without the sun," I remind him.

His eyes smolder as he watches me, and he tugs me closer until I'm practically lying on him despite the fact he nearly died hours ago. I try to move away, but he holds me in place. "And the sun can't exist without the moon. There isn't a world in this universe where I would want to live without you, Fallon. Don't you see that? The choice was easy for me. I only exist for you, and you exist to show the world strength and beauty and passion. I would die a thousand deaths to keep you safe. I won't apologize for that, but I am sorry it hurt you. I'm sorry you were scared."

"I wonder if your fans know you're such a sentimental bastard," I choke out, and we both grin. "Just don't leave me."

"Never," he promises as I carefully lay my head on his side. "Now get some sleep, you look exhausted."

I intend to stay awake and look after him, but he's right. I'm exhausted. It must finally win out because before I even know it, I'm slipping back into a deep sleep.

Only this time, I want to wake up.