Chapter 17

SEVENTEEN

I t took Fallon over two hours to fall asleep, and even now, she's making these little noises that rip my heart apart.

I thought loving Fallon meant loving all of her, and I thought I knew everything, but I was wrong. She hid it well. She lied so convincingly to everyone, even to herself. I never knew about her past, and now that I know some of it, I want to kill them.

How dare they hurt this angel?

I wish I could go back, wish I could protect her, but I can't. Instead, I hold her and silently vow that no one will ever hurt again. Whatever she chooses now, I will deflect the blows meant for her because I love her.

I need to know what I'm protecting her against though. I know she won't tell me until she's ready, and I don't want her to, but I can't lie here and do nothing. Grabbing my phone, I drape my arms around her and look over her shoulder as I search.

There are pages and pages of articles about her father and the band. It's only when I dive deep that I find some random online musings about old parties where people were caught doing drugs and illegal shit—her father included—at her family home.

Was she part of them?

Was she forced into those parties as a child?

I can't find much else. Whoever was doing cleanup did a very good fucking job of it. Everything about her father are memorials and fan pages singing his praises. Her name is always mentioned as the beloved daughter, so it seems even in that she can't escape him, even though she changed her name.

Sighing, I drop my phone. I want to protect her, but I don't know how.

Fallon is the strongest person I know, so I know she can handle it, but she doesn't need to alone. The fact that she came here tonight . . . Fuck, my heart beats faster, knowing she reached for me in the dark when she was struggling. She feels safe with me. It tells me I'm doing something right, but I need to do more. I need to be more. I don't want her to struggle with her nightmares forever.

Maybe I could force her to move in with me. She doesn't seem to have them when she sleeps in my arms—nah, she would probably murder me. One day, though, I'll convince her to, but until then, I can sneak over every night when she's asleep and hold her. It's worth the risk of her wrath if it keeps her safe, even from her own mind. I might not understand what that's like, but I'll become the best at understanding for her.

When Fallon comes down the next morning, I expect her to look shy, ashamed, or maybe even angry and storm out, but I should have known better. She rises to every challenge. Despite what happened, she looks as perfect as always, wearing nothing but her long, lace nightie with her hair unbound, her face free of makeup. She tilts her chin up, eyeing me with an arched brow as she gracefully slides into the seat next to mine at the head of the table. "Good morning." She looks like she belongs here, like she was made to be here. Fuck, she acts like she's leading a goddamn business meeting with the way she deliberately folds the napkin over her lap and looks around.

It makes me hard as hell, but my desire isn't important right now .

What we discussed last night is.

"We need to make a plan," I tell her as I lean back, "on how we are bringing down this docuseries."

"‘I'm surprised you haven't already done it." She smirks as she grabs some toast and spreads jam on it.

Chuckling, I watch her, far too happy to have her in my house. "I did try. The company that's making it, however, isn't one I have connections with. They are big, and this will take more than me threatening them."

Nodding, she takes a bite as she watches me. "This could ruin you," she says after swallowing. "I have no qualms about what I'm doing by exposing the truth and bringing them down, but this could ruin your career, Kage."

I rub my thumb along her lip to remove the jam there. Her eyes widen as I suck it clean. "Ruin me. Use me all you want, Fallon. I'm yours. We are doing this together."

"Are you sure?" she asks.

"More sure than I've ever been before. I created this life for you. If you want to wreck it, then do it." I shrug as I pile more food on her plate and watch her eat it. "So where do we begin?"