Chapter 1

CHAPTER ONE

T he camera's red light blinked with the regularity of a heartbeat, casting a hush over the set. Holden Tighe, with his towering frame and chiseled features, was sprawled across satin sheets that contrasted against his tanned skin. The director, a man whose voice matched the gruffness of his beard, barked out commands while adjusting the harsh lighting to accentuate the glistening sweat on Holden’s muscular body.

"Action" came the authoritative call, piercing the thick, expectant air like a starting gun.

Holden moved mechanically, his broad hands gliding over curves and valleys as if he were sculpting desire itself. His co-star—a vision of carnal fantasy—writhed beneath him, her moans choreographed to perfection. But Holden’s steel-blue eyes, which should have been alight with fiery passion, were instead clouded over, distant, even in the midst of this explicit tableau.

"Cut! We need more intensity, Holden," the director instructed, his tone a mix of impatience and encouragement.

"Got it," Holden muttered, the words tasting of ash rather than arousal. Though he was playing his part in the adult film, the fervor that once ignited within him had dwindled to embers. As the cameras rolled again, capturing every thrust and gasp, Holden's mind wandered, disengaged from the performance of pleasure.

It was a dance he knew all too well, movements rehearsed and repeated. Yet as he gazed into the lens that turned his intimacy into spectacle, all he felt was the gnaw of discontent. Each breathy whisper, each calculated touch echoed hollowly within him.

"Remember, you're a god amongst mortals here." The director's voice cut through Holden's reverie. "Show them what they want."

Holden nodded and threw his head back, forging a look of ecstasy as his body continued the charade. He gave them what they wanted: the archetypal alpha, dominant and unyielding. But behind the facade lay a man aching to break free from the mold, to be seen for more than his impressive endowment and the fantasies he fulfilled.

"Perfect, just like that," the director praised as Holden hit every mark with practiced ease.

The praise fell on deaf ears, mainly because Kendra was really trying to sell her third orgasm. Oh, her inner muscles were clenching around Holden, but he could hear the exaggeration in her tone.

"Let's take five," the director announced, unaware of the silent battle raging within his star performer.

The room blurred before him—the bright lights, the intrusive cameras, the expectant gazes of the crew. They all merged into a tableau of an existence he yearned to escape from. As the set emptied for a brief intermission, Holden remained lying there, a solitary figure amidst the tangled sheets, wrestling with ambitions that stretched far beyond the confines of the room. He craved a connection deeper than skin, a purpose that resonated with his soul. And somewhere, deep down, he knew it was time for a change.

"You're still hard as a rock, baby. Need me to suck you off a little?"

Holden turned, fixing his gaze on Kendra. She was the kind of woman that would make men cross the street during moving traffic. He turned away from her. "Nah, I'm good."

She sauntered over, hips swaying, her approach predatory. "I've got a job offer for us—new company, big money. They want the best, and baby, we are the best."

His skin tingled where she touched it, but it was more irritation than arousal. "I'm not interested, Kendra."

"Don't tell me you're still playing around with your little side hustle at that toy company." Kendra laughed, tossing her fake blond hair over her shoulder. "You think selling toys and giving 'meaningful' advice is going to fulfill you? Please. You were made for this." Her hand gestured expansively at the set.

"Just because you can't see beyond this doesn't mean I can't have ambitions."

"That's what I'm talking about: ambitions. The money these guys are offering?—"

Holden stopped listening. It wasn't about the money. He had squirreled away more than enough. Now he wanted something more.

At some point, Kendra realized he'd zoned out. "Fine, play with your toys. But when you get tired of being Mr. Nice Guy, you know where to find me."

She threw a leg over him and resumed her position as the crew came back into the room. His five minutes were up. It was back to work.

The crescendo of faux passion swelled around Holden as Kendra arched beneath him, her voice a symphony of exaggerated moans. The set was ablaze with the feigned heat of their bodies moving in rhythm.

"Give us that signature finish, Tighe." The director's voice cut through the air.

Holden complied, his movements deliberate, hitting every secret spot inside of Kendra's channel. He knew his way around a woman, especially this woman who had been his costar on more than one occasion. His climactic moment arrived with precision, a calculated release devoid of any true pleasure. It was all part of the script, an erotic illusion for the hungry lenses that encircled them.

"Cut!" The director's voice sliced through the panting silence that followed, and the crew erupted into routine applause.

Holden rolled off Kendra. The absence of any genuine connection between them was as stark as the bright studio lights above.

"Great work, you two," the director praised, a grin stretching across his face as he reviewed the footage on the monitor. "That's a wrap."

Kendra tossed her blond mane over her shoulder, shooting Holden a smirk that held no warmth. "Another one for the books, huh, Tighe?"

"Sure," Holden replied dryly, the snark in his tone masking the emptiness clawing at his chest. He caught a towel thrown his way, wiping away the sheen of sweat that served as evidence of their staged bed sport.

As Holden dressed in silence, the fabric of his shirt felt like a barrier he was eager to rebuild between himself and a world that saw him as nothing more than flesh and fantasy. He was ready to leave behind the echo of feigned ecstasy that lingered in the air, ready to chase after the promise of being valued for who he was, not just what he could do in front of a camera.