Chapter 16

CHAPTER 16

Eric

After the bombshell Julie had dropped on me at brunch, I’d wanted nothing more than to put Riley out of my mind once and for all, but I couldn’t stop thinking about the fact that he’d stood me up.

Not intentionally, I’m sure. Riley didn’t seem the type to have a menacing bone in his body, but it still felt like a punch to the gut.

Another punch I wasn’t prepared for.

It was like the universe was trying to push me toward the man when I was more than certain the truth would tear us apart.

Fuck, why is shit so damn complicated?

I decided instead to focus on my upcoming daily post. For years, my job had been more of a comfort than a burden. In the beginning, it was just something I did for fun, for attention, and in some ways it still was, but somewhere along the line it became more than just fun, it became a habit, a job.

One that paid pretty well, and didn’t require a lot.

And now, it was the only constant in my life. Every day, on the dot, I got to tap out of life, I got to forget.

Forget about my loneliness, about my non-existent relationships.

I adjusted my lights once more, making sure my bed was set up and I had everything I needed.

Lube.

Toys.

A well positioned camera.

It was the same every time, and I liked to be prepared, in case I wanted to switch things up. I lay back on my soft sheets, my head against the pile of pillows as I got comfortable. Palming my cock through my briefs, I tried my best to clear my mind.

I focused on the feel of my cock, solid beneath my briefs, the sensation of all the blood in my body finding its way to the center of me. I lazily rubbed my stiffness, biting my lip as I contemplated where I wanted this session to go. Where I needed it to go so I could forget.

The familiar sound alerted me that I’d started recording, but I didn’t open my eyes yet. I formed a picture in my brain as I rubbed myself, thrusting my brief covered cock against my hand, and immediately pulled away.

Not yet.

I opened my eyes, making eye contact with the camera. I’d done this “oops you caught me” scenario more than once, and every time I did, the subs loved it. In the past, I’d gotten off on being watched, but now, getting off was just...

It didn’t feel the same anymore. It felt empty, despite the fact thousands were watching me, waiting for me to come for them.

A quick glance at the comments coming in live only cemented the truth.

And for a moment, I wished he was watching.

Professor Hot Stuff.

What a show I could give him...

I knelt up on my knees, palming my briefs once more, making eye contact and asking them how bad they wanted to see my cock. How bad they wanted me to fuck their mouths, or their asses.

The resounding sound of tips and comments flooded along with my fantasy as I stared at the screen, pretending it wasn’t me and a thousand people.

I looked into that camera, and despite my best efforts to do otherwise, I could only envision it was him watching me.

I slid my briefs down, letting my cock spring free. Arching my back for more thrusting, I let my hand trace over my thickness, feeling the sticky precum already coating my head.

I peered down at the screen, reading the comments. People said the most depraved, dirty things when they thought no one was watching.

One request caught my eye, and I garnered perhaps it would be better to let them lead me, so my fantasy didn’t stray. If I was giving the viewers what they wanted, I could chalk it up to business.

What I wanted didn’t factor in the equation, because what I wanted...

I pushed the thought out of my mind as I smirked for the camera, removing the rest of my underwear as I got off the bed, walking over to my nightstand with the toys.

I wasted no time picking out the thickest cock in my collection, along with some warming lube.

The request to watch me come while I got fucked wasn’t an abnormal one, but it wasn’t something I preferred to do for the cameras often.

Mostly because in love and in life, I was the one who preferred to do the fucking.

But I’d realized then that maybe it was what I needed to forget about Riley, forget about the things that would undoubtedly disappear the moment reality was back at hand.

I made a show of slathering the twelve inch Big Daddy cock in copious amounts of lube, slowly rubbing and squeezing my hands along the veiny silicone shaft I held beneath my leaking cock. I thrust my own against it, collecting some of the lube from the motion as more tips and comments came flooding in.

Leaning back on my bed, I spread my legs, positioning myself front and center so my audience could watch me fuck my fingers one at a time. Because I didn’t do this often, I knew I needed to work myself up, which meant the video would be longer than my usual ten minutes, but I supposed once in a while a little variety was good, right?

My cock ached , throbbing with need as I slid my fingers out, positioning the giant cock at my wet, lubricated entrance. The tingling pressure as I inched the silicone shaft in was maddening, and I wanted to come almost immediately. I caught my breath, my eyes falling closed as I stretched myself to capacity.

Ungh.

So fucking full.

With a shaky hand, I let go, my balls and cock aching for release. I righted myself, going to my knees once more, which made the toy shoved in my ass bottom out completely. Letting out a slow breath, I carefully bent over in the slightest motion, rocking my hips against it, grabbing my slick cock with my free hand. With every thrust into my warm, wet hands, the dildo slid out of me just a hair. Back and forth, I built a slow, torturous rhythm.

In my brain, I imagined it was him.

Bending me over his desk, fucking me because once again I was his dirty little whore.

I needed to be punished by him, I needed to be good.

I came with a force that was unexpected, but welcome. I closed my eyes as I rode the wave of my orgasm, my insides contracting around the foreign invader as I continued the onslaught of my release, my stomach muscles and abs contracting with each pulse. For a moment, I felt like anything was possible.

With my eyes closed, I could pretend it was him fucking me into oblivion, wrapping those long arms and legs around me.

Holding me as he unloaded himself inside me, making me his.

But when I opened my eyes to see I’d cum not just all over myself, but on the bed, the incessant ringing of tips and comments, I felt a deeper ache than anything else I’d ever felt.

Because as good as I felt—and I felt amazing —I felt a wave of guilt that what I desired. What I wanted more than anything would never come to fruition. I felt guilty. Not just about what I’d done, but about who I was.

I wanted more than the emptiness I felt at that moment.

All the comments and the tips in the world would never feel as good as his kiss.

As his touch.

Nothing.

And so I wiped my sticky, cum-filled hand on my leg, dismounted my silicone friend, and turned off the camera. Tears threatened to break free, but I bit my tongue, stifling them down.

I’d just cleaned up my space when I saw the comments still flooding in on my phone. I almost pushed the thing away, but I didn’t. Because one notification stood out among the rest.

A text message.

Are you busy Friday night?

Naked, I stood there, staring at a text message for the second time that day, only this one was more chilling, more frightening than a brunch invite.

Because every bone in my body wanted to say yes.

For you, I could be free even during an apocalypse.

I answered with a cool, Yeah. Why, you want a rematch at that air hockey game?

Best to sound nonchalant. I wouldn’t want Sunday Best to get the wrong idea and think I’m just waiting on pins and needles for his call.

Even though that’s exactly what I’d been doing.

Tempting, but... my brother and some of his friends and I are going to check out some clubs for the Bachelor party location. Was wondering if you wanted to be my plus one?

I knew better than most that the arcade wasn’t actually a date, despite how much it felt like it was. It was just hanging out.

But this, deliberately asking me to join him and his family, a group of his friends, clubbing...

Friends are a big deal. It most certainly felt like a date.

I knew I should put an end to what was happening between us, what was happening to me, because every time I wound up around the man, I got soft. My walls started to crumble, and I dared to dream, to hope maybe this time could be different, even though I knew it wouldn’t’ be. That was, if I told him the truth.

But I was a fool for Mr. Riley Evans, it seemed. And I didn’t want to do the right thing.

I wanted to do very, very bad things. To him...

Yeah, that sounds fun. Where should I meet you?

I sat on the edge of my bed, the cool air of my bedroom contrasting with the fire in my blood, in my being, as I waited for his answer.

I’ll pick you up around eight thirty.

After sending a thumbs up, I fell back on my bed, staring at the ceiling as the ominous truth loomed over me.

I knew what I needed to do, but perhaps there was nothing wrong with having a little fun first, right?