Chapter 1

Riley

“Are you going to get my mum pregnant?”

“Evie…”

I snorted as I opened the door, ushering Evie, her mother, Lily, and grandmother, Carmen, into my office. Evie was the one who asked the question, and despite being only ten years old, I knew I couldn’t fob her off with the same kind of pat answer I used with other kids her age. Evie was, to my knowledge, the only female alpha in the world and also precociously smart, so I had to answer her the only way I could.

“Maybe,” I replied, gesturing to the seats.

I watched Lily rub her daughter’s back, seeing that simple gesture in a new light. This was a mother trying to soothe and redirect her child. If I hoped for some sort of hint on how to master that, I was about to be disappointed.

“You always say that.” Evie wrinkled her nose as she peered past me to where my degrees hung on the wall. “How come, when you’ve studied science for so long?”

“Evie.” Lily’s tone was soft but firm. “We’ve talked about this.”

The girl’s lips thinned down but she nodded.

“Asking lots of questions is rude.” For a moment, I thought we’d get a break, but her eyes flicked up to meet her mother’s. “But why?”

We all chuckled at that.

“Are you sure you want to have another baby?” Carmen asked Lily.

“I think so.” Her hand went to her stomach. “If possible. I think it would be good for Evie to have siblings, a pack she can bond with.” I waited her out, because outside of surrogacy, no woman could go through childbirth for altruistic reasons. “I mean, I always thought I’d have more kids. I couldn’t even think of it before, but now…”

Now Lily had found her fated mates. I knew exactly what she was feeling, and the fact that it was hard to put into words maddened me. The scientist wanted to evaluate, analyse, and distill this urge down to a strange concoction of oxytocin and rising progesterone, but that’s not what happened. Instead, the deeper I investigated, the more confused I became, until I ended up like this. My hand came to rest on my swollen stomach. Lily noted this and flushed in response. It was this primal need that pushed past good sense and brought all of us here and right now, that meant I needed to help Lily.

“Knock, knock.” Candy came sauntering in, a big glass jar of treats on one hip. “Hey girlfriend, how’s it going?” She held up a hand and Evie gave her a high five. “Ready for testing time?” Candy hefted the lolly jar. “I got some new treats. There’s those peanut butter cups you like.”

“Fine.” Evie slipped off the chair and moved towards Candy. “But can I have two this time?”

“I think I can swing that.” Candy winked at Lily. “As long as Mum says it's OK.”

“It’s fine,” Lily replied.

“Three if the needle hurts,” Evie bargained.

“Y’see, if we play like that,” Candy started steering her towards the door, “then you’re putting me in a difficult position. Do I do a bad job and make it hurt so you get more treats, or do I do my usual amazing work and you barely feel a thing? Up to you, girl.”

I shook my head as the door closed behind them and then refocussed on the two ladies left in my office.

“So, you’ve developed a new drug?” Carmen asked, leaning forward. The woman was a highly competent OB-GYN as well as being Evie’s grandmother, so she’d followed the developments of this closely. “It’s a variation on the kinds of drugs that betas use during a round of IVF?”

“More or less,” I said and then started to push some printouts their way. “We are theorising that all betas are not made the same. We’ve really codified people into alpha, beta, and omega based on things we can observe: physical characteristics, attraction, mate bonds, et cetera, but the deeper we get into the genetics, the more complicated it appears to be. It seems like people are more of a continuum, with alpha and omega being at the very end of either side of the spectrum.” I tapped the line on the document. “While I don’t think you are an omega, I think you’re closer to that end of the spectrum than say the average person.”

Both of them nodded as they looked at the diagram, then back at me.

“So…?”

Lily’s question was the one they both wanted to ask, which had me smiling.

“So we’re developing a new drug, and if you want to join the trial?—”

“Yes.”

Lily’s reply was immediate. I wanted to warn her of the possible side effects, but something stopped me. We shared a look then before nodding.

“Now, Lily.” Carmen wasn’t a doctor at this moment, but a mother, and she grabbed her adoptive daughter’s hand and gave it a squeeze. “Let’s not rush into things.” The doctor came right back to the fore as she studied me closely. “How about you talk me through the science a little more? Trials can be dangerous and…” Her voice broke, but Carmen rallied quickly. “And I don’t want anything happening to either one of my girls.”

Being pregnant was hard. The swollen ankles, the needing to pee every few seconds as well as craving a food desperately only to feel completely nauseous when I tried to eat it, but the one thing that was driving me crazy was this. To my horror, my eyes filled with tears. Me. I was many things, but overly emotional wasn’t a word used often. Candy used to call me Mrs. Roboto and do that weird robot dance most of the time, letting me know when I was being overly clinical by conducting conversations with me in the stilted tones of a science fiction android. So being reduced to tears by Carmen’s response, by the way she clung to Lily’s hand, Lily holding on just as hard, shouldn’t be a surprise, and yet here we were.

Because…

Because despite the fact I had five mates who fussed over me in every way, I wanted what Lily had with every breath. My mother was dead, my father having died long ago, and I was never close to the rest of my family, so that left me here. Watching a mother be mothered by someone who loved her… For just a second, I felt a wave of jealousy so vicious it took my breath away.

I shoved that unworthy feeling to one side because I didn’t begrudge Lily her support network. She’d needed it desperately during her pregnancy with Evie. I just wanted a Carmen of my own, someone who’d been through all of this and could tell me with the confidence of experience that it would all be OK. Of course, that was the moment my babies shifted inside me, forcing me to gasp as my hand went to my stomach, feeling them press against me. It felt like they were already fighting for dominance inside me, my alpha sons.

Sons.

That was the word that broke me and put me right back together. I could talk about fetuses and zygotes with perfect ease, but son? The word could have been daughter. I would’ve treasured having a little Evie of my own just as much, but both words felt like they were heavy, laden with meaning, with dreams and fancies, because each time I thought the word, I saw them. Little boys with fair hair or dark, green eyes or brown–ones with their fathers’ eyes–looking up at me the same way Evie did Lily, and that didn’t seem possible. I knew it was. People had kids all the time but I… but I… I was forced to grab a tissue from the box and dab at my eyes as I fought to recover my composure, and when I looked up, I saw both women staring.

“Oh, I remember this bit.” Lily shot me an empathetic smile. “Crying all the time. Remember when I had a meltdown over that ad?”

“One of those charity drives to help kids dealing with malnutrition in Africa,” Carmen explained with a smile. “Lily was in hysterics. It took a lot of tissues and a big bowl of ice cream to settle her. For me, it was anything to do with puppies or kittens. If they got hurt in a movie, I was a mess.”

“So this isn’t completely unprofessional?”

My voice warbled disgracefully.

“It’s got nothing to do with being good at your job.” Carmen’s other hand slid across my desk and gave my hand a quick squeeze. “I don’t have to explain to you the hormonal changes you’re going through, but I can reassure you that almost every woman who goes through this has a similarly intense response to something.” She pulled away and I felt the warm imprint of her fingers left behind. “It’s nature’s way of preparing us for what was to come.”

Caring for my children. I nodded, able to honour my tears for what they were before wiping the last of them away.

“Well, let's talk potential risks,” I said, my voice stronger now. “Because I want to help you, Lily, truly. There’s too many women struggling to have children with those they love, and I can’t stand by and let that happen, but what we’re doing is obviously very experimental. There’s no safety net.”

Lily leaned forward, a determined flash in her eyes.

“Hit me with it, Doc.”