Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Rigs

Before I could really get the conversation rolling, the prospects brought our food out. After that, we were focused on eating rather than talking. That didn’t bother me because I knew that I would be getting a lot of face-to-face time with Mattie. I was definitely looking forward to getting to know her better. Besides her classic natural beauty, and dedication to her job, the one quality that jumped out at me was her sense of humor. Although I could tell she used it as a coping technique when she was stressed, it still gave her a quirky personality that looked good on her.

After taking a few bites, she speaks, “You mentioned that you’ve been living here for a long time. Do you mind if I ask why?”

I swallow my mouthful and take a drink of coffee before I answer her question. Mostly to think over what I want to say. I want to get to know this woman better, and I don’t want to sugarcoat things for her. While I’m under no illusion that she’d be interested in having a romantic relationship with someone like me, I want to be honest with her.

“I never really knew my father and my mother passed away when I was thirteen. I went off the rails a bit, I’m not proud of what I did, but it wasn’t until two good men took me under their wings that I started to straighten out. One was the minister at the local church—he was the reason I ended up studying theology, I wanted to give back to the community—the other was Siege’s dad. He was like the father I never had, and he taught me how to ride. Once I’d become ordained, I actually joined the military and was proud to serve and follow in his footsteps.” I pause, remembering Claw. He would be proud to see how his son had turned the club around after the mess Butch made of it. “You already know that Siege is our club president. What you might not know is that his father founded this club along with me, Tank and Dutch. He was like a father figure to all of us, he knew that if it wasn’t for the military or other good influences, then people like me would slip through the cracks and end up a statistic. Same with a lot of veterans, he’d seen many a good man medically discharged and lose their way. The Savage Legion MC was formed to give us, and men like us, a sense of purpose once we left the military. Not every member is a veteran, but many are. His name was Claw and he took me in when I didn’t have anyone. I’ve been here ever since.”

“Literally, here?” she asks.

I nod, fighting back a smile, I guess it sounded strange, but maybe I needed the camaraderie. I’d gone from a group home to college, and then to the military. Some might say I was institutionalized, but I didn’t see it that way. I have no family—my club brothers are my family. “Yes, well once Claw had found a decent premises. You have to understand for a single man like myself, up until now, this club has provided everything I need. Over the years I’ve created a comfortable living space for myself. The prospects take care of the cooking and cleaning. They’re also responsible for guarding the clubhouse. Someone has to step up, teach them the ropes and monitor to make sure everything’s done correctly. I guess you can say that although my career as a chaplain ended, I never gave up the pastoral side of things.” I pause wondering if I should tell her why exactly the Marines ended my chaplaincy. But I decide even though I don’t want to sugarcoat things, if I want this woman to like me, there are some things best left for another time. “So I’m always here if any of the brothers have any problems, plus in addition to being the club chaplain and road captain I also handle the day-to-day running of the clubhouse, or at least delegating the work. I run a very tight ship. You could say this club is my whole life.”

Mattie is paying close attention, hanging on my every word. When finish explaining, she asks another question. One I’m not expecting. “You said up until now this clubhouse had everything that you as a single man could need. What changed? What is it you need that the clubhouse no longer provides?”

I lay my fork down across the top of my plate and ran my hands down the front of my thighs. I could feel the roughness of my pants rub against my palms, centering me for this conversation I do not want to have. “Well now Miss Mattie, you’ve kind of put me on the spot here.”

“Being mysterious is only making me more curious,” she quips.

Well, it’s do or die time, so I decide to put myself out there. “As you might already know, our club, like most MCs, has women who hang around. We call them club girls. We tried calling them vixens, but it didn’t take off.” I left out the part that we used to call them club whores—the term might have been disrespectful, but we always treated our club women well.

Mattie looks around, presumably to make sure no one was listening to our conversation. “Yeah, I noticed they’re all pretty young. Do they make you feel awkward, what with you being a man of the cloth?”

I snort a laugh, thinking it couldn’t be further from the truth. Or at least it was until recently. “Nope. Not at all.” I hold back from telling her that my cock is golden, and the club girls fight over who gets to ride it. Instead, I try to put it diplomatically. “I’m not a man of the cloth. Well I was, but I’m not anymore. Anyway, I kind of lost interest in the whole meaningless sex thing. That’s not what I’m interested in at this stage of my life, after seeing my club brothers find partners, I realized that I need more. I want a long-term relationship involving mutual love, trust, and respect. I’d love to have a family and kids one day.”

At this point, her mouth is hanging open, so I quickly shut up before I go and tell her that it was her who brought about this change.

“Oh, wow. That was really honest and straightforward response. When you meet the right woman, you should explain it just like that.”

I picked up my coffee cup and murmured, “I think I just did,” before taking a drink of the warm morning brew.

It took her a second and then her eyes got round. “What now? Say that again,” she stammers.

My poor Mattie looks a bit frazzled by my bold words. It leaves me feeling as though perhaps I have been a bit premature in bringing it up so soon. Or mistaken, because what was the fuck am I thinking of? Why would a sweet young woman like Mattie want a grizzled old preacher who has nothing to offer her and lived in a biker clubhouse? I take a deep breath, I’ve opened this embarrassing can of worms so I may as well let them loose.

“I said that I’m looking to settle down with the right woman at some point in the future and I’m thinking there is a possibility that person might turn out to be you.” I grab my fork and shovel another bite of eggs into my mouth.

Her eyes open wide, and she looks about as shocked as if I’d suddenly stripped off and cartwheeled across the patio. “Me? You must have made some mistake. My life’s a hot mess. I’ve got MS. I’m the world’s worst workaholic. The local syndicate apparently has their heart set on dealing me a gruesome death in the not-too-distant future and I came here prepared to live off snacks out of my duffle bag. I don’t think I’m someone you should be thinking of settling down with.”

I waved my fork in a tight circle while pointing in her direction. “If you’re trying to talk me out of wanting to get to know you better, you’re doing just the opposite. Just thought you might want to know that.”

“Dude,” she huffs. “You have totally lost your marbles.”

“Maybe, but I don’t think so.” Pointing my fork at her plate, I added, “You should eat. Your food is getting cold.”

She grabs a piece of bacon and crams the whole thing in her mouth at once. She shakes her head in disbelief as she chews. I realize as I muse over her words that all her reasons for us not being together all related to what she felt were her weaknesses. At no time did she say that she isn’t interested in a worn-out old biker. Though it might just be her being nice and not wanting to hurt my feelings.

The next thing I know Siege comes storming into the room and makes a beeline for us. “What’s this I hear about the syndicate threatening Mattie?”

“I see you got the little gift box I asked the prospects to deliver.” I’d stuffed the threatening letters and assorted items in a box and had the prospects leave it for him.

Siege gapes at me. “I sure the fuck did. There was some messed up shit. Tank, Dutch, and I looked through it and we’re pretty convinced it wasn’t all created by the same person.”

“Yeah, that was my opinion as well.”

“Look, I’m not trying to be a dick,” Siege warns. “But Mattie can’t go back to her apartment without a protector?”

Mattie waves away his concerns with one hand. “Don’t worry. I’m not going back there anytime soon. I brought five suitcases so I can live in Rigs’ suite. He may or may not be there, but I brought all my gear. We’re gonna work on the missing kids cases together and may or may not end up falling in love—if he can get over the fact that I’m a hot mess and I can get over the fact that he is clearly deranged.”

By this point Siege is looking at her like she just grew two heads, not that Mattie notices. She just shoots me a grin and asks, “Did I miss anything or does that about cover it?”

“You missed the part about how no one’s going to tell you what to you and you’re going to continue being a workaholic.”

“Thanks for the reminder. You get extra bonus points for paying attention to the words coming out of my mouth, but you’ve still lost your marbles.”

Siege eases back out of his seat and whispers, “Rigs, can I talk to you for just a second in my office?”

I grab my coffee and tell Mattie, “I’ll be right back. You’ll probably be able to digest your food a lot better if I’m not here throwing you one curveball after another.”

“Oh no, don’t stop now. I’m starting to get addicted to the curveballs.”

I grin at her and follow Siege to his office. As I walk through the clubhouse, I jerk my chin at Tank and Dutch to join us. The second the door shut behind us, Siege screeches, “What in the fucking hell have you done to Mattie? What’s that nonsense about her living with you? Fuck’s sake, I can’t leave you alone with a woman for more than five minutes without you pulling some weird shit.”

I frown at him. “So overreaction is what we’re going with. If so, that’s fine. I’ll run with it.”

Dutch walks over to us, concern etched over his face. “I thought you liked Mattie. I wouldn’t have given you her number if I thought you were going to be disrespectful.”

“I wasn’t being disrespectful,” I look at Siege, “What she said, it wasn’t like that. She was just making a joke about something I’d said earlier.”

He just glares at me, I guess our club president is having a sense of humor bypass today. Though given what I found at Mattie’s it’s not surprising. “Look, I found out the syndicate was targeting her and brough here.”

Siege sighs. “Did she really bring five suitcases?”

I nod and take another sip of my coffee before answering. “Yes. And a duffle bag full of snacks because she didn’t realize we had a functional kitchen and I guess she thought she was coming to live in a frat house.”

This is the point Tank joins the conversation. “Alright, none of this makes any sense. We got the box of stuff you left, want to tell us what happened?”

I walk them through our conversation from the night before with me arriving at hers to find the damaged Mattie doll hanging off her doorknob, and finish up telling them how I pretty much propositioned her over breakfast.

My club brothers look more bewildered than annoyed at this point. Siege runs his hand through his hair in a gesture that can only be described as exasperation. “You’re really interested in Mattie?”

“Why wouldn’t I be?” I can hear the irritation in my own voice when I speak.

Siege says, “Calm the fuck down, Rigs. I’m not disapproving or trying to talk you out of it. I’m just clarifying the situation. So what you’re saying is you’re going to take full responsibility for protecting her and see that all her needs are met? Is that what I’m hearing you say?”

“Yes. Mattie told you that herself if I recall.”

Siege grumbles. “Sorry, Rigs, I think I got up on the wrong side of the bed today. Now, I have to go home and tell Cleo what’s happening. She’s not happy her best friend is being threatened by the syndicate and didn’t tell her. But at least I can reassure her that Mattie’s going to be looked after here.”

Dutch speaks up, “It’s a good damn thing that you got involved when you did. It doesn’t sound like Mattie understood the danger she was in.”

“I hate to think what might have happened, if you hadn’t found that warning hanging on her door.” Tank agrees.

Dutch reaches out, grabs my shoulder and states emphatically, “She would have wound up dead. That’s what would have happened. I’m glad you set your insecurities aside and called her last night, brother.”

“Me too,” I reply dryly. Taking my friend’s sage advice when my head was all turned around was the best decision I ever made. God knows, I would have been eaten up with guilt if they’d gotten to her while I was angsting about my worthiness to be her protector. “I’m going to go back and finish breakfast with Mattie, and then we’re going to get set up in my office. If anyone needs me, just pop in or shoot me a text.”

“Got it,” Siege says weakly. I guess he’s still wondering how he’s going to explain all this to Cleo, because I doubt Mattie told her everything.

I can hear them muttering as I walk out the door. I don’t mind. I’ve given them a lot to process at one time. But I know I’m making the right decision with Mattie and I’m not going to let anyone dissuade me from helping her find these missing kids or trying to make her mine.

When I approach the table, I can see she hasn’t eaten a bite since I left. Instead, she’s staring blankly at the wall, likely pondering the life choices that brought her to my notice.

I slide into my chair and pour myself some more coffee from the still warm carafe. “Miss Mattie, you should eat. You’re under a lot of stress and need to keep your strength up.”

Her hand comes out to pick up another piece of crunchy bacon and she takes a bite off the end and then uses it to point to me. “Tell me something and be honest. Do you think I’m the weak link in the chain?”

I freeze in place for a second before responding. “What? Why would you think something like that?”

“You know how sometime gullible people don’t understand the predator, prey relationship. Unlike animals who seem to instinctually know what animals and situations to stay away from, people don’t have that. It’s probably because it’s been thousands of years since most of us have had to flee from natural predators. So, it stands to reason that instinct for survival might be dulled.”

Now it’s my turn to be absolutely bewildered. “I’m not sure exactly where you’re going with the train of thought, Miss Mattie. It’s best if you just keep talking, until I can grasp your point.”

She lays her bacon down on her plate and continues. “There are a couple of things I don’t understand. Like how there can be so many human predators moving among us, but so few of the people they’re targeting can pick up on the fact that they’re about to be preyed upon.”

I still don’t know what she’s trying to say, but I think I get the drift of it, “Beware of false prophets which come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ravening wolves.”

Her expression morphs into one of surprise. “Yes, I guess it is something like that. These people disguising themselves in plain sight. After everything that’s happened, I can’t help but look at my work colleagues and wonder, ‘is it you?’”

I make an ‘eat’ motion, because if I’m going to be her protector then I need to make sure she keeps healthy, and that includes eating.

She takes a bite, and then continues, “At first I thought they were just trying to scare me away from investigating the missing children. But the more I thought about the situation, the more I wondered if the goal wasn’t just to scare me away from something, but to terrify me into submission so they could turn me into one for their minions like they did with my predecessor. Do you think they picked me because I’m now a supervisor or because they think I’m the weak link in the chain? Like they think my disability makes me an easy target.”

After giving her question some thought, I answer, “I think it could be a bit of both, maybe they’re underestimating you, and think you’re an easy target. They don’t realize you’re far too intelligent and capable to be exploited.”

She mumbles, “I hope you’re right about that.”

“The people running the syndicate are pretty damn smart, but they seriously underestimate their opponents. They thought they were untouchable until the Savage Legion MC started picking off their members and learning more about their organization. Maybe they thought with time you’d either hand in your notice and give up the search for those kids, or that they could wear you down and get you on their payroll.”

Her shoulders relax. “I shouldn’t let them get in my head and make me doubt myself.”

“To doubt is human. We all doubt ourselves at times because self-doubt leads to much needed self-reflection. Without that we would all grow needlessly vain, self-important, and arrogant.”

A soft smile slides onto her face. “You always know just what to say. How do you even do that?”

I smother back a smile of my own. “Normally, when I talk people’s eyes glaze over. They think I’m a boring washed-up preacher.”

She picked up her fork and poked at her food. “I’m sure that’s not true. While you were gone, some woman named Lori warned me not to get too attached to you because you were spoken for. Boring men don’t have pretty young women fighting over him.”

“I’m sorry if she bothered you. I’ll have a word with her.”

“It’s okay. I already told her we were getting to know each other and if she didn’t like that it was too bad. Guess what? She didn’t like that and there were words. Like I said, pretty young women are fighting over you, maybe you need to focus your attention on them if you want to wife someone up.”

I burst out laughing. “I can’t tell if you’re being serious sometimes, Miss Mattie. You want me to haul my ass over to those club girls and quit bothering you?”

“Oh no, you don’t get to hit on me and then change your mind. We’re getting to know each other. It might lead to friendship instead of romance but by God, we’re doing this.”

Looking down at my place to keep from blushing, I murmur, “You shouldn’t take the lord’s name in vain.”

“I’ll try to remember that,” she says happily. When she digs into her breakfast with gusto, the knot in my chest finally begins to loosen. This has been a supremely stressful morning for both of us.

Truth be told, a happy Mattie is worlds better than a shocked, frightened one, but the fact that she insists upon getting to know me is what makes my heart sing with happiness. The more I talk with her, the more I genuinely like her. Being her friend would be a blessing but being her husband would constitute a miracle.