7. Chapter Seven

Chapter Seven

"You sure you don't want to go out for New Year's? It's not too late, you know? I'm sure our guests wouldn't mind if we diverted festivities elsewhere."

"Are you kidding?" Sebastian looked up from the table setting he was arranging. "I'm looking forward to dinner especially after all the trouble you've gone to."

Owen shrugged. "It's just seafood."

" Just seafood he says." Sebastian rolled his eyes and laughed. Owen had been up early so as to be first in line at the fish market ensuring he got the best seafood on offer. Then he'd spent hours prepping fish, peeling prawns, and making sauces and side dishes. Sebastian's own contribution had been simply purchasing a large lemon tart from their favourite bakery and swinging by the bottle shop for some wine.

"We can always go out afterwards," Owen suggested.

Sebastian shook his head as he walked around the dining table and took Owen's hands in his own. "Listen, I'm happy with our plans. What could be better? A delicious dinner with our closest friends, some wine, good conversation, and seeing the new year in with the man I love."

Owen smiled and it lit up his face, his hazel eyes sparkling. "We'd better get cracking then."

Sebastian was glad he dropped the subject because he knew Owen had no desire to go out and was only offering for his sake. Not that he wanted to go out at all. He absolutely meant every word he said—their plans were perfect. He squeezed Owen's hands then went back to setting the table while Owen returned to the kitchen. They made a great team preparing for the celebration, with Owen's talent in the kitchen and his own flare for decoration.

Before too long, they were showered, dressed, and receiving their guests. There were only eight of them, so it was an intimate dinner party, accompanied by lively conversation and laughter.

"How are things going with you and Owen?" Matt asked after the meal, topping up Sebastian's flute from the bottle of sparkling wine as they stood at the sideboard.

"Great." Sebastian glanced across the room at Owen who was seated at the head of the table deep in conversation with Trudy and her husband, Jared. God he's gorgeous.

"You scored yourself one good looking man," Matt said echoing his thoughts.

Sebastian grinned. "I did, didn't I?"

Owen was dressed in a pair of beige pants paired with a dark shirt left open at the neck. The navy complemented his colouring beautifully—a light tan, dark hair with the sexy strands of grey threaded through at the temples, and those bewitching eyes that flashed green and gold.

"He gets better and better, like a fine wine." Matt gave an exaggerated sigh.

Sebastian chuckled and elbowed him. "You know next to nothing about wine."

"Still, that doesn't stop me appreciating it."

"Well, hands off. That one's mine."

"Goes without saying, but that doesn't stop me from appreciating him either."

Sebastian laughed. Matt always joked that he had a thing for silver foxes. Unfortunately he hadn't had much luck on the love front, unlike Sebastian who was thankful every day that he'd met Owen all those years ago.

Owen's bracelet flashed in the candlelight, light bouncing from the silver and pearl. "We had an amazing Christmas. Quiet, but special, you know?" Sebastian said.

"I'm glad. I wish mine had been like that." Matt filled his own glass then crossed to the window to gaze out across the city.

"Your brother still causing trouble?" Sebastian asked.

"God, he's a walking disaster." Matt took sip of his wine. "You know I like a drink with the best of them, but he takes it to the extreme. I asked him to lay off the booze for Christmas for Mum and Dad's sake, but do you think he'd listen to me? He's a total arsehole. He got wasted and ended up causing a fight before storming out. Mum was in tears."

"I'm sorry, that sounds horrible. I take it he still won't consider getting some help."

"Some people just can't be helped, I guess," Matt said. "At least not until they're willing to admit they have a problem."

Sebastian wrapped an arm around his friend. "Let me know what I can do."

"Thanks." Matt briefly returned his hug.

"Hey!" They turned at Trudy's call. "I thought you were getting more champagne. A girl could die of thirst over here."

They grabbed the open bottle from the sideboard and a fresh one from the ice bucket and returned to the table. "Who's for more champagne?" At the resounding cheer, he filled the glasses before slipping into his seat next to Owen.

"Are you having a nice time?" Owen leaned over and whispered.

"I can only think of one thing that could make it better."

Owen slipped an arm around his shoulders. "Yeah? And what's that?"

Their faces were only inches away from each other. Their guests faded away as he got lost in Owen's eyes. "A kiss. Sealing the end of the year with a kiss."

"I think that can be arranged."

"And starting the new one the same way."

"Your wish is my command." Owen smiled then brought their mouths together.

It was a soft and gentle kiss, just a taste of what would come later in the night. Sebastian pulled away and smiled. "Happy New Year, sweets."

It was only a couple of days into the new year and they were fighting already. Sebastian's expression was thunderous—his eyes were narrowed, and his jaw was clenched so tightly that Owen could see the muscle in his cheek ticking.

"I'm sorry—"

"Don't." Sebastian held up his hand.

Seeing Sebastian holding him back, putting that distance between them, tore at Owen's heart. He felt the emotion prickle behind his eyes and blinked back the tears.

"I can't take any more of this, Owen." Sebastian thumped his chest, his voice breaking as he continued. "You know I love you. I love you with all my heart. For Christ's sake, I've loved you since I was twenty-two. There is no one else for me—you're it." Sebastian ran a hand through his dark hair and shook his head before meeting Owen's gaze. "What is it going to take for you to believe that you're enough, that you're all I've ever wanted? The last year… Well, before that, I never would have pictured us here, doing this, arguing all the time, or tiptoeing around each other."

"I know and I'm—"

"Don't say it." Sebastian's eyes flashed. "If you say you're sorry one more time…"

Owen bit back the automatic apology that teetered on the tip of his tongue. "You don't deserve the last twelve months. I know I've been hell to live with—short-tempered and angry. It's not fair on you and you don't deserve it. Plus I haven't been able to do the things we usually do. It's no wonder you're pissed off with me."

Sebastian's eyebrows rose. "Pissed off? Are you kidding? I couldn't give a shit about you not being able to do things with me." He huffed in obvious frustration. "I mean, I miss being able to share the time doing the stuff we used to. Kayaking isn't the same with Matt or one of the other guys, but that isn't why I'm pissed. I understand you can't do what you used to be able to do, but it's physical , Owen. You aren't choosing not to be with me when I want to go out and do something active. You have a physical limitation. A busted shoulder. I understand that."

"But you shouldn't have to." Owen hated that Sebastian had to change his life to fit in with him.

"Don't be ridiculous. You're the one who's concerned, not me. I worry about you, obviously. Do I wish you didn't have the shoulder injury? Hell, yes. Do I wish you weren't in pain and could sleep undisturbed through the night? You bet I do. And do I want you to enjoy an afternoon spent kayaking? Too right. But I want all those things because I know how much you love the feel of being out on the water. I want you to be able to run and swim and paddle, but not for me— for you . If we can never do any of those things together again, I'll be okay, because there's so much else we do do with each other. My happiness and desire to be with you isn't linked to outdoor pursuits, it's linked to being with you whatever we are doing—our morning chats over coffee, walks out on the island, watching those stupid comedies you love so much. Hell, even doing the housework."

Owen stood speechless, unsure what to say as Sebastian sighed and turned away. He watched as Sebastian strode to the window and stared out at the city beyond. Owen gathered his thoughts, trying to work out what to say so he didn't open his big mouth and say something he'd regret. He seemed to have a habit of putting his foot in it lately and he didn't want to make the already tense situation worse. Before he could speak, Sebastian spun around and faced him again.

"Look, Owen. As much as it pains me to say this, I think we need some time apart. We've both said what we wanted to say."— Have we? —"Some distance will give you some time to digest what I've said, and I really hope you think it over. I mean every word. I love you, Owen, bunged up shoulder or not. It hurts me that you don't trust enough in my love to believe that. That's what causes me the most pain—that you doubt us. I thought we were past that, that we were strong, that we were more than…" His voice trailed off and the look of anger had been replaced with sadness.

Owen swallowed past the lump in his throat, arms itching to pull Sebastian into his arms, but Owen remembered the raised hand from earlier in their conversation and didn't want to risk Sebastian pulling away. He didn't think his heart could stand the rejection. Instead, his hand dropped to his wrist and he toyed with the leather wrapped securely there. "I—"

Sebastian didn't let him finish. He offered a small smile. "It's okay, Owen, really. I think if I stay we'll just ending up fighting more. So I'm going to Bruny." Sebastian put a finger to Owen's lips. "Now before you say anything, it's not for long. I'm not leaving you. I'm just giving you some space. I'll stay there for a couple of days, maybe a week. I'll work from the house out there. While I'm gone, maybe you can work out what you really want, perhaps see the surgeon and talk about getting the surgery you need."

Owen finally reached out his arms—there was no way he wanted to let Sebastian go but Sebastian put his hands up again. "Owen, let me leave."

Owen fought the urge to ignore the gesture and the words, to pull Sebastian to him anyway, but eventually nodded. As much as his throat ached and his heart felt heavy, he knew Sebastian was right and he did have to get his shit together. But that didn't make it hurt any less when Sebastian only relaxed once he had Owen's agreement.

He smiled gently, stepped forward, and wrapped Owen in a tight hug. "Thank you," he whispered against Owen's cheek.

Given Owen's recent worries about their age difference, why did it feel like Sebastian was the grown up in the relationship?