Chapter 4

CHAPTER 4

MASON

As Magnus ushers us into the cabin, I'm taken aback by its cool atmosphere—perhaps there's an air conditioning unit tucked away somewhere. I quickly snatch my bag from Leo, refusing to acknowledge him, and head toward a door that I hope opens into a bedroom. The anticipation of having my own space, even just for a moment, is all-consuming, and I push aside any lingering thoughts about our earlier conversation.

After I change into some comfortable clothes, I tell myself I'll head back to find the guys. But as I glance around the room, my curiosity gets the better of me. I can't help but wonder what else lies behind Magnus' cheery attitude. Just a quick peek through his belongings—surely it won't hurt. After all, I need to ensure he's not hiding any dark secrets. What if he's a secret murderer? My heart races at the thought, and I feel a rush of adrenaline as I snoop through his belongings.

I rummage through his dresser drawers and crack open the bedside cabinet, but come up empty-handed, my excitement waning with each fruitless search. Just as I'm about to give up, I spot a door at the far end of the room—one that I assume leads to an ensuite bathroom. My heart races at the prospect of finding something, anything, that might reveal more about the man.

What I end up discovering isn't a bathroom, not even close. As I step into the room, I can't help a little gleeful laugh from escaping my mouth. I may be as vanilla as they come, but I know a large collection of dildos and butt plugs when I see them. The room is dimly lit, but the shelves are filled with an array of colourful and intriguing toys, each more unique than the last.

My cheeks flush at the sheer audacity of it. A secret room of pleasure hidden away. It's both surprising and oddly thrilling. I find myself torn between shock and amusement.

As I take a closer look at the array of items, an unexpected thought crosses my mind: maybe this isn't the smoking gun I was looking for in proving he's a secret murderer, but it definitely adds a layer to his personality that I hadn't anticipated. I stifle another laugh, wondering just how different he is when no one's watching.

My brain is screaming at me, telling me not to touch other people's sex toys, but I can't help but feel a flicker of curiosity. I think it's safe enough to pick up something that's in a sealed box, a sort of way to satisfy my intrigue without crossing too many boundaries. Just as I'm about to reach out and grab a sleek black box marked, I hear my name echoing through the cabin.

"Mason?" Leo's voice calls from somewhere in the living room, and my heart nearly stops. Panic surges through me as I freeze in place, my hand hovering just inches above the box.

I quickly move to step out of the room, making sure to leave everything exactly as I found it. The last thing I need is to give Magnus any reason to suspect I was snooping. With one last glance at the tantalizing collection, I take a deep breath and walk back towards the living room, where the guys are casually lounging on the sofa, sipping beers and engrossed in conversation.

The atmosphere is relaxed, I force a smile and grab a beer from the coffee table, pretending as if nothing happened.

I make a point to sit away from Leo, not quite ready to be so close to him just yet. The tension between us still feels palpable, a mix of unresolved feelings and the lingering anger from earlier. He notices my attempt to keep my distance but doesn't say anything, just rolls his eyes.

Magnus picks up on the awkwardness and, with a playful but pointed tone, says, "It's none of my business, but I have to ask, what is going on with you two? I thought you said you were celebrating your anniversary?"

The room stays silent and I can feel my cheeks heat up as all eyes turn to me, especially Leo's, who raises an eyebrow as if he's intrigued by how I'll respond. I suddenly wish I could shrink into the couch and avoid this conversation completely.

"Celebrating by going camping," I snap, frustration slipping through despite my efforts to maintain composure. I grab the bottle of Budweiser, feeling the cool glass against my palm, and chug half of it in one go, hoping to drown out the awkwardness simmering around us.

As the crisp taste hits my throat, I can't help but glance over at Leo, who's watching with a mix of anger and sadness. For a moment, I can see a flicker of something vulnerable behind his eyes.

I set the bottle down a little harder than intended, the sound echoing in the quiet cabin. "So, yeah. Camping. Just a little time to ourselves," I add, attempting to brush off my earlier sharpness. "You know, nature, fresh air... all that cliché stuff."

"Is it really so terrible that I didn't want to blow a couple of grand just to lounge in the sun somewhere abroad?" Leo questions, his tone light but laced with a hint of defensiveness.

"It wouldn't be just sitting if you weren't so hellbent on avoiding me."

"Tell me, Mason, what could possibly make me want anything more from you when you treat me like this?" he asks, his voice steady but filled with a mixture of hurt and frustration. The words hang in the air between us, heavy with unspoken truths.

Before I can reply, Magnus raises his hands, effortlessly cutting through our argument. "I'm only going to say this once," he begins, a serious look on his face as he glances between the two of us, "and if you want me to back off, just say the word."

He takes a deep breath, clearly gathering his thoughts. "Since we're stuck here for a while, how about we talk about what's really going on between you two? Because honestly, I'd rather not spend the next couple of hours listening to you bicker back and forth."

As soon as Magnus finishes, Leo jumps in to decline, but I beat him to the punch, my voice shaking slightly but resolute. "Actually, yes, it might help us put an end to all this shit," I say, surprising even myself with the confidence in my tone.

Leo quickly shifts his gaze away from me, avoiding eye contact as if I'd just thrown him a curveball he wasn't ready for. I can feel the tension crackling in the air, but there's a sense of determination pushing me forward. With Magnus sitting there as our reluctant referee, I take a deep breath and begin to explain.

I start from the beginning, how Leo and I first met as kids, how our friendship flowed so easily, feeling like we had known each other forever. I dive into the ups and downs of our relationship, the laughter and the misunderstandings. As I recount the times we felt closer than ever, I also don't shy away from the darker moments, the arguments that seemed to come out of nowhere, the stubbornness that got in the way.

I find myself talking for what feels like an eternity, throwing my emotions out there for Magnus to hear and for Leo to process. Half an hour in, my face is flushed red, and I can feel the heat creeping down my neck. My body is buzzing with a restless energy, anxious and vulnerable from laying it all bare.

"It's like we're constantly on this seesaw," I say, trying to explain the strain of it all. "One moment I feel like we're connected, and the next, it's like I'm fighting for his attention just to have him see me. I don't get where we stand anymore." I finally pause, feeling the weight of my words lingering in the air, and I glance over at Leo, hoping to gauge his reaction.

Magnus watches me closely, encouraging but silent, as if he's giving me the space we need. "So that's where we're at," I finish, swallowing hard, my heart racing.

"Have you guys actually sat down and communicated these issues?" Magnus asks, raising an eyebrow. Before I can muster any kind of response, he adds, "Without screaming and shouting at each other."

That one hits home. I fall silent, the realisation washing over me like a cold wave. He's right. We've never truly spoken about our problems, not in a way that felt constructive or meaningful. For years, we danced around the edges, trading jabs and nasty words that only served to deepen the rift between us. I can feel my chest tighten as the weight of that truth settles over me.

Leo shifts slightly, still avoiding my gaze, but I notice a slight furrow in his brow. Maybe he's realising the same thing. Magnus's words linger in the air, urging us to confront a reality we've both been afraid to face.

"I guess we haven't," I admit finally, my voice quieter now. "It's easier to hurl insults than to actually sit down and figure out what's wrong, I suppose."

"Do you guys love each other?" Magnus asks suddenly, his tone serious yet probing, he then stands up and walks into the kitchen. He returns moments later, a bottle of vodka in one hand and three shot glasses in the other.

He sets the glasses down on the coffee table, pouring a shot for each of us while keeping his gaze fixed on us, expectant. The question hangs in the air, and I can feel the weight of it pressing down on both Leo and me.

"Yes," I say finally, my voice softer than I intended. "I love you, Leo, but that hasn't been enough lately."

"Do you guys still fuck?" Magnus asks bluntly, his eyes locked on us with a mix of curiosity and concern.

Leo chokes on his shot of vodka, reacting as if he's just swallowed fire. I raise my eyebrows at Magnus, partly in disbelief and partly in appreciation for his willingness to cut through the awkwardness. When I look over at Leo, I can see his face turning a shade of crimson.

I take a deep breath, feeling the weight of the truth settle in my stomach. "We don't really have sex as often as we used to," I find myself saying, feeling oddly liberated in the confession. "And when we do, it feels kind of forced and rushed. It's like we're trying to check off a box instead of enjoying each other."

There's a pause, a charged silence where our vulnerabilities hang in the air. Leo seems uncomfortable, shifting slightly in his seat, avoiding meeting my gaze.

"And our intimacy is pretty much non-existent. We live together, but Leo never seems to be home. And when he is, he locks himself away in his office." I shrug, a mixture of frustration and sadness mingling in my chest. "It's like we're roommates more than anything else."

Magnus nods, absorbing my words. "That's a tough spot to be in," he says gently, his expression softening. "What do you want, then? What do you both want?"

I glance at Leo, who's finally looking back at me, and something shifts in his eyes. It's as if he knows we can't keep navigating this mess without confronting it. "I want to feel connected again," I admit. "I want us to rediscover whatever we once had, without all the chaos and noise."

Leo exhales slowly, running a hand over his face. "I want that too," he responds, his voice barely above a whisper. "But I also don't know how to get there. It feels like we've built up so many walls between us."

"Then maybe," Magnus interjects, his tone thoughtful, "you need to start tearing those walls down one brick at a time. But first, you have to talk about it. Not just the intimate stuff, but the everyday things that have been neglected."

I nod, feeling a glimmer of hope flickering to life. "Do you think we can?" I ask Leo, a mixture of vulnerability and determination bubbling in my chest.

"I want to try," he replies, his voice steadier now.

Magnus leans forward, refilling our glasses with a mischievous glint in his eye. "So, tell me," he says, his voice low and inviting, "do you have any fantasies? No matter how wild or outrageous they may seem, it's so important to feel comfortable enough to share those thoughts with someone you trust. And remember, sharing doesn't mean you have to act on them. Sometimes just talking about it deepens that bond between you, creating a space where both partners feel truly connected."