Chapter 4

CHAPTER 4

HUGH

"This is your house?" Ollie demands from the passenger seat.

"Yup," I confirm, unreasonably hoping he doesn't hate it.

"You must be really good at your job," he muses while I wait for the garage door to open. I wince when I see his mouth drop to his lap when the cars inside become visible. I mean, we are in my Ferrari, since I drive it whenever I have the chance, so I don't know why he's so surprised. I like sleek, sporty, fast cars. It's like a hobby.

I do hope he doesn't hold that against me though.

"I'd like to think I am," I say when I realize I've taken too long to answer his statement. I park the car next to the McLaren and see I probably should've just parked it by the front door when Ollie's mouth is still not closed.

"Do you... not like it?" I ask hesitantly. It's been a very long time since I've felt this vulnerable to rejection. I'm used to knowing when I can close a deal and when to prepare my client and myself for unfavorable outcomes, but this is different than that.

It seems bigger somehow.

"What?" he asks, finally out of his stupor, I suppose. He turns to me in his seat and unclips his seatbelt. "I think it's freaking awesome that you've done so well for yourself that you get to buy whatever you want. I'm just surprised..." He trails off. I get the feeling he has more to say, though, so I shut off the engine, unclip my seatbelt too, and turn so I can look at him.

He lets out a breath and brings his left knee up to the seat, then he rests his temple against the headrest.

"You seem pretty normal."

"That's good, right?" I ask with a smile meant to disguise the nerves.

"It is. Yeah, you wear lots of expensive-looking suits, and a watch that I don't want to know how expensive it was, and you crash at one of your friends' houses. I just didn't picture you as the type to love sports cars."

"Is it weird that I like that I can surprise you?"

He laughs lightly. "I don't think it's weird."

"Good," I whisper. "Text Hawk that you're at my place." He gives me a deadpan look that makes me feel like I'm flying because he's opening up. He's comfortable being himself.

"I think he knows."

"That's probably true, but still, just text him where you are."

"Okay," he says and lets out a burst of air. "I can take care of myself, you know?"

"I don't doubt it. But having people look out for us is important. I wouldn't be where I am without the help of my family, for example. But I also have friends and mentors who helped me along the way."

He stares at me for a long moment, considering, then nods and spends a few seconds on his phone.

"Okay, that's done. What now?"

"Now, I'm going to try to impress you," I say teasingly and waggle my eyebrows for good measure.

He sucks in a sharp breath. "No one's ever tried to impress me," he murmurs.

"Idiots," I scoff. He smiles tenderly at me, and I feel the urge to lean in and kiss him, but our next kiss... I want it to be special. More special than last night's.

"Let me show you around." I get out of the car and meet him by the passenger door. I don't hesitate to take his hand and look down when he interlaces his fingers with mine. It's a perfect fit. "This okay?" I ask quietly and look up at him.

"It's perfect," he confirms.

I take him through the garage, into the laundry room, and then the kitchen. He hands me the dessert box, and I raise a questioning eyebrow. "Now or later?"

"I think I'll be ready for it as soon as the tour is over," he says with a cheeky smile.

"All right, then. I don't think it's going to be too interesting for you, but let me show you my favorite room in the house."

"Is it your bedroom?" he asks with a laugh in his voice.

"No." I sputter out a laugh. "It's boring, actually." I open the double doors and he gasps. "That's a better reaction than what I was expecting," I tell him, truly surprised.

"This is your office?"

The two walls that are floor-to-ceiling bookshelves are lit up by the overhead lamps, but the room is pretty dark otherwise. Especially since the view on the other side of the floor-to-ceiling windows is dark. During the day, the Pacific stretches out before me, but now you can only see a few lights from the houses below and two flickering ones from buoys.

"Yeah, it's better during the day," I say, trying to explain why I even brought him here.

"I just bet. That view has to be amazing."

"It's the same from the pool. I know it's chilly but I've got a firepit out there I can light up. I can also get the blankets my sister made me buy. We could eat our dessert on the loungers?" I shrug both shoulders when he turns around and looks at me with his mouth slightly parted.

"Yeah, okay." His soft voice isn't filled with enthusiasm, but also nothing... negative I guess.

I feel like I somehow fucked up, but I don't know how. So I raise my hand hesitantly, offering it for him to take. He takes it without hesitation so maybe I didn't fuck up?

He gives me a tentative smile and exits my office first. I grab the take-out box from the counter on our way out as well as the big blanket—hopefully Ollie will want to share—then get Ollie settled on the big lounger.

I kneel next to the fire pit and open the gas line, then grab the matches from the opening in the stone base.

"That's awesome," he whispers.

I can't help but smile as I straighten and walk to sit beside him.

"I'm glad you think so, Ollie." I place my hand on top of his on the cushion, then I lower my eyes to see him flip his hand over to hold mine. It's mostly to give myself time to think about something to say. I should probably make normal, first-date type conversation, but I'm drawing a blank.

Then it comes to me. The simplest, most cliché thing to ask.

"So what do you do for?—"

"I'm a virgin!" he blurts in a shout.

I'm too stunned to react beyond letting my mouth drop open. Okay, so I guess sex is on his mind? That's good, right? Or is he scared of me? Thinking I'm going to take advantage of him?

Jesus, please no.

"Sorry," he mutters angrily. "God, I'm such a fucking idiot."

"Hey, hey." I squeeze his hand to try to get his blue eyes back on me. "You're not an idiot. Why would you be an idiot for being honest?"

"It's just—" He clamps his mouth shut and shakes his head then takes a deep breath. "I just really like you, and I thought it was better to tell you now than for you to be turned off by my lack of experience later."

"Good. Your experience—lacking or not—would never be a turn off for me."

"It wouldn't?" he asks quietly and with so much hope in his wide eyes that it melts my heart.

"No, sweetheart." I take a chance and raise my arm to wrap around his shoulders. I scoot closer and grab his hand with my free one. "I don't think there's anything about you that could turn me off, honestly." I decide to be as honest as he is, and as vulnerable. "I've never been this attracted to anyone in all my life, Ollie. What happened last night, the way I acted, it's not something that I've ever done before. I—" How can I even put it into words when I still don't understand it myself?

"I get it," he says with a nod and tips his head up.

It's now. I know it's now. The perfect moment. I lean down just a little and slightly nudge the tip of his nose with my own. He raises his chin and captures my lips with his.

Softly, tenderly, but unmistakably passionate.

God, he's a good kisser. He doesn't rush us, he lets it rise. He teases my lip with his tongue just after I do the same, and when I do it again he opens for me instinctively. I bring my hand around his back to cup his cheek, to deepen the kiss.

I stroke his tongue slowly as my other hand moves to his thigh, and that's when he pulls away.

"Sorry, sorry," I apologize. Stupid, I tell myself. He just told me he's inexperienced and I just dive right in for a grope? What the fuck is wrong with me?

"No, don't apologize. I don't want to stop," he tells me, sounding breathless. He takes my cheeks and turns me to look him straight in the eyes. "I really don't want to stop," he emphasizes, his eyes trailing down to my pulsing lips.

"What's up?" I ask, very stupidly. He kissed my brains out, that's my excuse. He chuckles once, but keeps smiling at me.

"I don't know if Derek told you this," he starts and I think I know where this is going already. "But I have epilepsy."

"He didn't tell me," I murmur. "Will you tell me about it?"

"Yeah." Again, he sounds unsure and like he's getting ready for rejection—I know the signs now that I've seen them. "So, I have seizures sometimes. Almost never in the last few years, but it was really bad when I was a senior. I was mostly in the hospital for three years and well... I didn't go to college. I can't drive because I might get a seizure out of nowhere and I've never even had a job before today."

His eyes are starting to get misty, and though I don't know exactly why that is, I tighten my arm around him and press us closer.

"That's why you wanted to work for Hawk?" I wonder aloud.

"No," he says with a watery laugh. "I was running away from home and he found me on the highway."

"What?" I demand in a whisper. "Ollie, that's dangerous."

"Oh, don't start."

"But—"

"No buts." He stops me firmly but not with anger. "I'm twenty-seven years old, Hugh. I know what my body can and can't handle."

"Yeah, okay," I mumble, sufficiently chagrined.

"It was just too suffocating," he continues.

"What was?"

"Living with my parents. All I wanted was to get a job at a coffee shop right there in town. I wanted to start living like an adult, and they were telling me not to go, like I was going to die or something."

"They're scared," I say, as I have the realization. "Of losing you."

"I know. I told them that I'd come to LA with Hawk, and I'm taking my pills and all the precautions I can so I don't have a seizure. I know how to take care of myself," he repeats like he needs me to believe him.

I look at him for a long moment. At the way he stares up at me, not hiding from the conversation in the least. Facing it all head on.

"I believe that," I say simply.

"Good. Now the problem with me having sex is—" He goes right back to the start of the conversation and makes me snort. "I'm really twitchy, right? When I'm turned on, I'm scared that I'll lose control of my body, that I'll have a seizure. I get so worried sometimes, that I'm not able to..." He trails off, his cheeks darkening with embarrassment now.

"Orgasm?" I finish for him.

"Mm-hm," he hums. "But I've been able to do lots of other things, just not..." Again, he trails off, and this time I finish his sentence with a teasing smile."

"Penetration?"

He scowls at my tone but then snorts after just a few seconds. "Anyway, all of this to say, I swear I've never felt this way before about anyone, and I might be sheltered, but I'm no innocent. I've done things, and I've seen things."

I can't help but be amused at how he emphasizes it. I'm pretty sure he's talking about watching porn, but I'll let him tell me about all of that when he wants to.

"There's no rush—" He pushes a finger against my lips.

"Yes, there's a rush. I need you to fuck me, Hugh. I want you so bad, it's driving me insane. But first, I want you to tie me up?"