Chapter 17

17

Nick

Ifell back onto my bed, cupping my face in my hands. Shit got to me tonight. It was one thing to see those kids propped in ads on the internet, done in a way that’d make some sick fucking pig think they wanted it. It was another to see it in person, to hear their screams. A barbed wrecking ball crashing into my head, ripping through every other thought.

That dark shit ruined a bastard.

I’d never get Danielle’s scream out of my head. It would continue to haunt me—a reminder that there were kids out there, scared, feeling hopeless and no one would ever hear their screams.

I heard them. And I hoped, for her sake, she felt free tonight.

No doubt, she’d have a long road ahead of her, but maybe she’d be okay at the end. Kids were resilient. Maybe she’d let that shit roll off of her in time, and feel a sense of power, knowing she’d brought down an entire trafficking ring through a man who wanted to bring pain and suffering to everyone of them on her behalf.

I could feel the blackness building inside of me again, curls of fire slithering through my veins. Anger. So much anger and that black poison crawling up my arm like razor blades, cutting me from the inside. Tugging the knife from my boot, I slid my legs over the edge of the bed and pulled back my sleeve. Had to purge it.

My arm trembled beneath the blade as I sliced across my forearm, relief trailing the line of blood that made a slow drip into my palm. “Fuck!” Felt so good. I groaned, tipping my head back, and closed my eyes.

I glanced along to where Aubree’s closed door stood in plain sight. For a moment, I wondered what made me different from those men. Granted, I never planned to touch Aubree, wouldn’t pawn her off as some cash dispenser, but was I just as bad as them for what I’d done?

No, my head battled back. She was one of the leeches, getting some benefit from the suffering of girls like Danielle.

Was she, though? If Aubree had seen what I’d seen tonight, could I have imagined any level of apathy from her? I’d only known the woman a couple days, but it just didn’t seem like she could watch impassively, like that cunt Theresa, collecting cash at the expense of a child. Could I picture her sitting on a couch with that shit going on in the next room?

Of course not. Just like most people wouldn’t watch a pig getting slaughtered for morning bacon. Didn’t mean she wouldn’t take the cash in the end, though.

The scent of cigar smoke hit me before I noticed Alec standing in the doorway.

“How the hell do you sneak up on me all the time?”

He chuckled, falling into the seat across the room. “Something’s troubling you.”

I pulled my sleeve back down over the wound. “What makes you say that?”

Leaning forward, he rested his elbows on his thighs. “You’re pouting in your room, playing with knives, when you should be out chasing prostitutes or getting drunk.”

I shook my head. “Saw some bad shit tonight. Fucked with my head.”

“You saved three girls’ lives, Nick. It’s all over the news. They’re calling you a hero.”

“I’m no hero. Shit I did … can’t even remember half of it. I don’t know if those girls saw, but …” Screwing my eyes shut couldn’t dislodge the images that would haunt me later. “I got darkness inside of me, Alec. A whole lot of darkness inside.”

“We’ve all got darkness inside. It’s what brings it to the surface that separates the psychopaths from everyone else.”

“The one girl … Danielle. You know, she made me think of Lauren when she was just sixteen, on the streets.” My lip curled in disgust. “I don’t even remember half of what I did to those men. I blacked out through most of it.”

“You did what you had to do, yeah?” He blew an upward curl of smoke. “You couldn’t have punished them enough. It’s too bad they died quickly.”

“It’s becoming increasingly difficult to figure out who the bad guy is.”

“Ah.” He glanced back toward Aubree’s room. “You feel guilt.”

“Why did I kidnap her again?”

“She is a means to an end, Nick. She may ultimately die, but others will no longer suffer in exchange.” He tipped his head, his raised fedora showing more of his face. “C’mon. Come have a drink with me. We’ll get shit faced and try to erase what happened tonight. You gotta keep strong. Keep it together. We’re not done with this yet.” He eased back onto the chair, cocking his elbow over the back of it. “Play it smart, Nick. They’re going to catch on that you’re systematically killing off members of their crew. They’ll be expecting you. Keep that in mind.”

“Yeah.” Blood had soaked into the sleeve of my shirt, worked into a noticeable crimson patch. I sat up from the bed, kicking my legs over the edge, and rubbed my skull. “Hey, she asked about you the first night. Achilleus X. Thought I was you.” I sneered at that. “Probably every woman’s wet fantasy.”

His mouth stretched to a wicked grin. “I’m running against some stiff competition as of late. What did you say to her?”

“I didn’t say anything. She doesn’t need to know who’s involved in this.” Steepling my fingers, I stared at him for any sign of disagreement. Finding none, I shrugged. “The beauty of being kidnapped.”

He nodded. “Which is why I’m going to keep myself low key in this one. Now, quit stalling. Get your ass out of bed.” His lip curled, and I followed his downward gaze to my palm where blood still trickled down my wrist. “Wish you’d stop doing that. Fucking go to church, if this shit bothers you that much.”

“I don’t need church,” I said, wiping my palm on my jeans. “I bleed my sins.”