25. Chapter Twenty-Three

Chapter Twenty-Three

Ollie and Nico seemed to be in some kind of a competition to out-casual each other as they both just happened to be lounging near the front of the deck as the sun began to sink. No one’s ears were pricked for the sound of car tyres in the drive, so no one jumped to their feet when the dogs started to bark.

“That’s probably them,” Nico stretched.

“Probably,” Ollie shrugged.

“Better stop dad bothering them I s’pose.” Somehow he was already moving.

“Guess so.” She was already on his heels.

Nico wore an actual shirt with a collar for once and he smelled like fresh-scented surprisingly tasteful man spray instead of his usual sweat and sunshine. Ollie would have loved to have mocked him, except for how she too had washed her hair and applied her favourite scented moisturiser.

“Get away!” Their dad was already shooing the dogs off as the car doors opened.

“Rocco!” Frankie tumbled out to throw herself at the enthusiastic dachshund, Tilly practically landing on top of them.

Lara slid from the passenger door. God, for a relatively small woman she really managed to have an incredible pair of legs on her. She had that look on her face again, slightly and uncharacteristically shy, as she cast her eyes quickly from Ollie to Ollie’s dad. Ollie watched as he greeted her warmly again. She barely registered Nico steal a kiss from Sadie while their dad’s back was turned, though she did manage to catch Sadie swot him and hiss get off me with a smile.

“Hey.” Ollie pulled Lara in next, Lara sucking in a slight breath as she smoothed over the awkwardness by repeating the same greeting, kissing both of her cheeks. Lara flicked her eyes up to her, knowing full well the gesture came with a lot less innocence.

“Hi,” Lara said back. God it was hard not to actually kiss her .

She’d been right; Nico absolutely tried to hold Sadie’s hand as they all trooped up the steps. She shook him off though and Ollie’s mum forwent the formal greeting to hug her tightly, before she did the same to Lara. Ollie’s date looked both startled and relieved at the extra warm treatment, a faint pink to her cheeks.

“Can I help?” Lara once again offered, looking towards the kitchen.

“ No,” Ollie and her mother spoke in unison and Lara smiled, letting Ollie take her by the hand and tow her out the door to pour her a glass of wine.

Matty caught her eye as they arrived out on the verandah and Ollie held her breath just slightly, his words still ringing fresh in her mind. You should stay away from her. Lara Bennett is dangerous. He’d given Ollie a short meaningful stare when she’d told him, very casually, that Lara was coming for dinner again tonight. She shouldn’t have worried though; Matty took his hosting duties seriously. Anyone who hadn’t been out at the grapevines with the three of them would have had no idea at his reservations as he grinned and kissed Lara’s cheeks, immediately followed by his wife who smiled and squeezed both her arms like an old friend.

They all sat around the table, Nico slinging his arm around the back of Sadie’s chair. She shot him an I can’t believe you look, but her eyes were shining. Ollie sat next to Lara, her fingers squeezing her knee under the table. Lara quickly prised her fingers off and Ollie grinned to herself.

“Sadie.” Matty fixed her with an earnest stare. “I gotta say, I mean - I just need to put this on the record now so in future when you start complaining about him at family dinners years down the line you can’t say no one warned you: you’re too good for him.”

Nico flushed and Sadie laughed. Everyone around the table grinned at them. It was quite clear this was Matty’s version of a stamp of approval.

“I told her that too,” Nico leaned back smugly in his chair, ready to take it.

“I mean, to be clear, so did I,” Sadie said wryly but as everyone laughed she let Nico finally take her hand and this time didn’t let it go.

Ollie found Lara’s knee again, making her fingers soft - just a tease - and Lara gripped them gently before pushing them firmly away. Neither one of them wanted the scrutiny Nico and Sadie were under, considering the basic facts of their arrangement. Sex… then an end date.

Dinner was served and everyone ate heartily. Everyone except Nonna, who only picked listlessly at it. Ollie tried not to focus on it; it was all part of the process. She’d taken her grandmother to her most recent palliative care appointment where they’d upped her pain medications. Nonna was comfortable. She was part of family dinner. It was all they could hope for. She felt Lara squeeze her knee gently under the table and realised her worried gaze must have been obvious. Her eyes flicked sideways to Lara and found herself catching her breath. Goddamnit, she was so beautiful, Ollie also experienced it as pain. Lara ignored her stare but her hand didn’t leave her knee this time.

By the time dinner was over and dessert demolished, Nonna tucked up in her bed, and the kids indoors, excitedly bouncing on the couches, Ollie was determined to steal a moment with Lara. She’d been glowing with prettiness all evening, holding her own amongst the family’s teasing and chatter, speaking with apparent passion to Ollie’s mother across the corner of the table about the merits of blue and green-egg laying chickens and Ollie was dying.

She thought of Lara’s solid talent for sass, her sharp edges and steely defences. She thought of Lara’s power as she secretly ran rings around this town, of her holding court and busting bad men’s kneecaps at bonfire night, of her wry warmth as a mother. And she thought of her naked, panting, shivering out her release with those blue eyes hungrily fixed on Ollie’s face.

Fuck. Ollie sucked in a breath. Was she in over her head here?

At first Lara had been a sexy challenge; then she’d been a puzzle to unlock. Once Ollie had figured out the key, Lara had been a deep dive into desperately delicious pleasure. But Lara Bennett at family dinner made her chest ache as well as her teeth. Perhaps this hadn’t exactly been her best idea.

It would be okay, she told herself. After all, they both knew what this was. For a second she thought of discussing some clearer - firmer - parameters with Lara. It’s what she’d want to do if she was in a casual situation with anyone else. But Ollie couldn’t bring herself to want to pull this back, make it just sex and cut out all the sweetness. Not only did she like seeing all the different facets of Lara, but she also would never do it to her.

Lara Bennett had been treated like sex was all she was good for, for her whole damn life. Lara Bennett deserved family dinner and laughter on the kitchen floor and coffees out with her daughter and Ollie could handle this. She could deal with the happy kind of sadness that would be a short-term romance. She imagined kissing Lara goodbye longingly at the airport, both of them changed for the better, Lara maybe even whispering sultrily into her ear, see you at Christmas, before she sauntered away at the airport gate. It was doable.

“Want to come for a walk with me?” Ollie murmured as everyone started to drift into separate conversations. Lara met her eyes.

“Okay,” she agreed, a small flicker of desire clear in her gaze.

They both got to their feet.

“Lara!” Frankie suddenly appeared. Her eyes were wide.

“What’s wrong? ”

“Can you come? Tilly won’t come out of the bathroom.”

Lara shot Ollie a look. She followed Frankie into the house and Ollie hesitated. This seemed like a mum thing. Lara was gone for what felt like a long time. When she reappeared she was pale.

“Is everything okay?” Ollie asked, worry spiking through her.

Lara pulled her aside.

“Tilly just got her period,” she said, her voice stiff.

“Oh,” Ollie was relieved. “Is she okay?” She looked a little more closely at Lara. “Are you okay?”

Lara looked at her distractedly. She looked straight up sick.

“Ollie. She’s ten years old.”

“That’s okay,” Ollie told her. “It’s very much within the range of normal. ”

“She’s just a baby.” Lara looked like she was cracking. “She’s way too young. She’s not ready for this… she’s a child .”

Suddenly, Ollie got it.

“She’s still a child,” she reassured her. “This doesn’t change that, not at all. Listen, I’m going to drive you both home, okay?”

Lara looked quickly over to where Sadie and Nico were sitting, in a bubble together, laughing as she shoved him in the ribs. She nodded.

Ollie made excuses for them.

“Lara’s got a headache,” she told her family. She saw Sadie clock Lara’s pale face and frown before she got up and followed her back into the house. When they all emerged at the front door together Ollie could hear a soft murmur of voices, Lara’s arm wrapped around Tilly, Sadie’s arm wrapped around Lara. Tilly looked faintly startled but not obviously distressed.

Ollie started up the old farm ute, Sadie and Frankie standing by to wave goodbye. She waited until Tilly was strapped in the back seat, Lara rigid in the passenger seat beside her, then she started down the long drive, headlights picking out thousands of moths in the dark.

“Did you tell her?” Tilly asked uncomfortably from the back as the ute bumped out the gate .

“Yeah, honey,” her mother said. “It’s not something to be ashamed of.”

Ollie could hear the extreme discomfort belying Lara’s calm words and she knew Tilly could too.

“I’m probably going to get mine in the next day or two,” she told Tilly lightly. “I know because suddenly I want to eat all the chocolate in the world.”

Tilly looked up in the rearview mirror.

“Why do you want to eat chocolate?” She sounded confused.

“Honestly, I have no idea. Hormones probably,” she told her. “It’s a whole thing. You start to get used to it after a while and then, you just eat all the chocolate.”

Tilly laughed. Then she was silent.

“You okay, honey?” Lara managed.

“No one else has their period yet,” she said shortly. “I thought that was a thing that happened when you were a teenager. ”

Lara tensed up even further in the seat beside her. She was silent. Ollie opened her mouth.

“No,” she said, “the average age is twelve. But any time from nine is completely normal.”

“How do you know this stuff?” Tilly sounded suspicious.

“Oh, I’m a kids’ doctor,” she told her. Lara glanced at her in surprise. They’d really never talked about her work.

“ Oh.” Tilly sounded surprisingly reassured by this. “So you would like… know.”

“Sure do. You’re one thousand per cent normal,” Ollie reiterated. “And I’ll bet you’re not the only one in your class either. People just get weird talking about this stuff which is super silly, because most of the girls and women you know will all get periods for about half of their lives.”

“It’s gross,” Tilly said flatly.

“It’s not honey,” Lara told her, her voice so calm she sounded almost automated. “It’s totally fine.”

“Oh you think it’s gross?” Ollie tapped the brakes as they hit the bend she knew the roos hung out at. “Kid, you have no idea! You live in the golden age of period pants. When your mum and I were young we had to have these weird creepy pads jammed down our knickers. It was like walking around with a whole pillow under your bum.”

Tilly laughed.

“What are period pants?”

Ollie looked at her watch.

“Want to take a quick trip to Woollies?” she asked. “Bet you didn’t think you’d get to go buy a whole bunch of treats tonight since your mum’s going to be all soft and easy while she’s freaking out.”

Lara glared at her but the smallest of smiles finally slipped out.

“You are freaking out,” Tilly said, her voice both teasing and wildly unsure.

“Sorry sweetheart,” Lara said, her voice somewhere approaching normal. “It’s a me thing, not a you thing. You know how I get when I think you’re getting all big. You’re still my baby .” She made her voice soft and a little sing-songy.

“ Ugh ,” Tilly groaned. “You’re so embarrassing. ”

Lara actually smiled at that.

Ollie grabbed a trolley and they sped through Silverbloom Woolworths together, just before it closed. They grabbed a bunch of small-sized period pants, Ollie making a point of throwing them at Tilly and making her laugh. She remembered the hushed, embarrassing experience of buying tampons for the first time with her mum and was determined that in 2024, that should not be a thing. Then the three of them hit the sweets aisle.

“Can I have everything I want mum?” Tilly slyly - and immediately - ruined it for herself, but by the time they hit the register there was still a solid stash of junk food on the conveyor belt.

“I’m sorry, aren’t you a doctor?” Lara raised her eyebrows. “Shouldn’t you be encouraging healthier choices or something?”

Ollie smirked at her.

“Everything in moderation,” she intoned. And then she shrugged. “Mental health is important too.” She nodded towards the Caramilk Kit-Kat Tilly had coveted. “I’ll write a prescription for that tonight if it makes you feel better.”

It was just over a half an hour’s drive back to Lara’s and on the way home no one seemed too fussed to talk much more about periods while Tilly munched on her sugary snack contentedly. When they arrived at the house, Ollie walked up to the front door with them. She hesitated, honestly just wanting to sneak a quick goodnight kiss, not wanting to outstay her welcome on a big mother-daughter night, but Lara held the door open for her as if it was a given she was coming in.

“Movie and a sugar coma?” she invited. “After all you’re responsible for most of this.” She lifted the grocery bag in her hand.

They vegged out together, Tilly between them on the couch. She had a hot water bottle and some ibuprofen, and between the chocolate and the Disney channel seemed all the way back to cheerful.

“Alright honey,” Lara snapped off the TV as the movie ended, “bedtime. Go brush your teeth before they all fall out.”

Tilly rolled her eyes but mooched off to the bathroom.

“I can head off now,” Ollie said to Lara as she went to follow Tilly down the hall, “if you want.”

Lara looked at her for a beat.

“I don’t want,” she said softly. “But if you need to-”

“I’ll be here,” Ollie cut her off.

Lara nodded.

When she returned about half an hour later, Ollie had raided her kitchen and found an extremely respectable bottle of Japanese whisky and poured them both a drink.

Lara looked at her coffee table and snorted a small laugh before she sank down next to Ollie on the couch.

“I looked that bad, huh?”

“You looked like you’d earned an actual drink.” Ollie handed her the glass.

Lara accepted it gratefully and sipped it, neat. Ollie’s attraction to her went up another eight notches.

“I fucked that up,” Lara said quietly, frowning into the distance.

“No, you didn’t.”

“Only because you saved the day.” Lara turned to look at her. “I made it scary for her, with my reaction, I know I did. ”

“She looks absolutely fine,” Ollie told her. “You just needed a minute.”

Lara shook her head. They sipped in silence for a few moments, and when Ollie turned to look at her she saw tears streaking down her face.

She wrapped her arm around Lara’s shoulder and pulled her into her chest.

“God,” said Lara ruefully. “This is super sexy.”

Ollie kissed her hair and ignored the attempt at an apology.

“So,” she said softly, “this is triggering as fuck, huh?”

Lara pressed her face into her shoulder and Ollie held her harder.

“Turns out,” Lara managed, as she tried not to weep, “yes.”

“What’s getting you the most?” She tucked Lara’s hair back from her damp face.

“Is it my fault?” Lara whispered. “Like did I do something wrong? Her diet or something? ”

“No,” Ollie said firmly. “I wasn’t making up those numbers. Girls have been getting periods earlier and earlier for decades. There’s nothing you should have done differently. And,” she pointed out, “there’s nothing wrong with hitting puberty, it’s a normal part of life.”

“But at ten,” Lara raised her head. “I want her to be a child for as long as she can.”

“Lara,” Ollie said as clearly as possible. “She is. She will be. I know what you’re afraid of,” she whispered, “and what happened to you was not okay. But honey, Tilly’s got you. She’s got the fiercest, most powerful, man-destroying, scary-ass witch of Ribbonwood as her mama. She’s going to be just fine.”

Lara cried hard then and Ollie confiscated the dangerously tilting glass of whisky from her hand and didn’t let her go.

When she calmed down Lara stalked away to go blow her nose and when she returned her expression was all the way back to rueful.

“I might not be exactly experienced at this stuff but I’m pretty sure having a trauma meltdown all over you isn’t quite in the realm of hot hook-up territory,” she said wryly, sitting down a full foot from Ollie and picking up the remains of her whisky .

“Oh, you really haven’t met many lesbians.” Ollie raised her eyebrows and smiled. “This is how we do foreplay.”

Lara laughed. Even after a good cry she looked ridiculously appealing.

Ollie reached out and tugged her hand into her lap, intertwining their fingers. Slowly Lara lost her standoffish edge and let herself rest against Ollie’s body as they sipped.

“Thank you, for your help tonight, by the way,” she said. “Who knew having a stray paediatrician around would come in handy?”

“Paeds FACEM,” she said automatically. Lara looked at her quizzically. Ollie blinked and shook her head. God, what a nerd. “I’m not a paediatrician, that’s a different kind of thing. I’m an emergency doctor who specialises in kids.”

Lara studied her.

“I can’t tell if that’s hot or terrifying,” she said, slowly.

“The second one,” Ollie sighed. “It’s why I’m taking three months of leave. ”

Lara nestled in a little closer to her, her hand curving around her thigh.

“I just want you to know that I’m entirely confident you’d manage to make a trauma meltdown look sexy, if you want to have one too,” she offered.

Ollie laughed.

“I’ll save that for if you want to spice things up sometime,” she declined. She put the rest of her glass on the table. “That’s enough for me, I’ve still got to drive tonight,” she remembered.

Lara stilled.

“Stay,” she murmured.

Ollie looked at her. She knew, with one hundred percent certainty, that with Tilly here and the night Lara had had that they were not going to be having sex tonight. Absolutely nothing about this felt like a casual hook up anymore.

“Okay,” she said.