Chapter 7

Rhuyin

I bounced a red rubber ball off a poster promoting the Omada, an elite Illyrian military squad. It had been left by the previous occupant of the room and I'd never bothered to remove it. I bounced the ball against the wall with my right hand and caught it with my left, only to throw it against the wall again in a never-ending cycle.

The rhythm soothed something in me. The movement was smooth, sure, uninterrupted, and while I focused on it, I didn't have to think about anything else, not my friends, not my career. And certainly not about the letter I'd received this morning from the Leadership Council.

Rhuyin Katastrofis,

We regret to inform you that you are no longer eligible for consideration for the Touchpoint events. While your scores have been exemplary, your disability prevents us from considering you further…

Blah. Blah. Blah. There were a lot more words, but they boiled down to one thing: damaged. I was too damaged to be worthy of Bonding with a Mageia.

The room was small, with just enough room for the single bed and a chest of clothes. Other than the Omada poster the walls were bare of decoration, the only light coming from a single bare bulb hanging overhead. It was fine with me. I'd never had much, other than what the military had given me, so the lack of adornment didn't matter much.

Throw. Thump thump. Catch.

Throw. Thump thump. Catch.

As the hard rubber hit the plastered wall with force, it gave off a powerful vibration. My sensitivity to the vibrations was emphasized by my hearing loss. I could feel the vibration as the hard rubber hit the plastered wall and spread throughout the room. The vibrations soothed me; they gave me something to focus on. My neighbors had given up complaining about the noise and requested a room transfer months ago, but I didn't really care right now. They didn't matter. Nothing mattered. Especially not after all the time and effort I had put into my career as a Soma.

Despite finishing top of my class and excelling in training my superiors had told me that the fact I'd been turned down by three Mageia I had matched with, plus my hearing challenges, was reason enough to exclude me from participating in future Touchpoints. The decision virtually eliminated any possibility that I would find a Mageia to match with, sentencing me to a life of solitude, however short it might be.

I sighed. I'd known it was coming, or at least suspected, but had been hoping against hope for a miracle. I should have known better. I'd already used up my quota of miracles for a lifetime.

Throw. Thump thump. Catch.

Throw. Thump thump. Catch.

I'd been born in Alexandrian territory and had caught the Shaking Fever, a common childhood ailment. Or, at least, that's what my parents had thought. I knew now it had been a lie, but they hadn't. Shaking Fever itself was real, but the deaths it was supposedly causing were not.

The Illyrian doctors told me I really had caught the Shaking Fever, but the Alexandrians had used the opportunity to test my DNA for the potential to become a Soma. Like all other Soma children in Alexandria, I'd been surreptitiously given an injection designed to kill me. A nurse responsible for my care had taken pity on me and stolen me from hospital.

She had been able to give me an antidote that had saved my life, but not without complications to my hearing. I'd only been three at the time, so I didn't really remember much. I wasn't completely deaf, but the world of Somas didn't make those distinctions. What I was able to hear tended to be things in the lower registers. Someone had described it once that I was hearing as if I were under water, most sounds muffled. Every day sounds escaped me. Speech was a babble of noise I could only make sense of by reading lips, and I couldn't hear music, though I could feel the vibrations sounds made.

Music was what I missed the most; I dimly remembered the sounds of my mother playing on their piano and had often wondered if she was still alive. I didn't remember much about her, beyond her music. I recalled a sweet-faced woman with blonde hair and gray eyes, but it had been so long that I wasn't sure if what I remembered was real, or something made up by the imagination of a lonely child. I would have given a lot to be able to hear those notes play again.

I yawned and stretched, trying to shake some energy into my body. I'd been having dreams for a solid month or more that involved a man with brown hair shot with honey gold, and bright blue eyes. I wondered if this might be my Mageia, out there somewhere. I could never really make out his other features, but I remembered the feelings the dreams had engendered: protectiveness, love, a sense of belonging. All things I had been missing in my life.

The overhead light flicked on and off and I sighed again. I'd rigged the light to the doorbell to let me know when someone rang it. Catching the ball a final time I stood and went to open the apartment door, though I knew who it would be.

Dagan stood at the door, his uniform crisp and perfect, just like the man himself. I still wondered why Dagan bothered to spend time with me, even after all these years. He had befriended me when we had met during Soma training and was my best friend. Okay, he was my only friend.

Ready to go?He signed, his hands and face full of the friendly energy that had won Rhuyin over so long ago.

I nodded.

Not that I see the point, I signed dispiritedly.

Dagan rolled his eyes.

You know as well as I do that there are a shit load of new Mageia being smuggled out of Alexandria, my friend responded encouragingly. Maybe one of them will be your match.

When pigs fly,I signed back, adding a rude gesture at the end.

Dagan rolled his eyes again. We'd been having this argument for years now. Dagan was sure that there was a purpose to everything and that my Bonded was out there, just waiting to be discovered. My pessimism should have prepared me for the Search Committee decision, but I'd been blindsided, nonetheless. The notification had arrived the day before, and I hadn't found a way to break the news to Dag that I was barred from participating in both today's Touchpoint and all events in the future.

Despite my hearing challenges, I had matched with several Mageia since graduation, but each time there had been another Soma that matched as well and in Illyria, it was Mageian's choice. When they found out about my hearing challenges the Mageia had chosen the other person. Every. Time.

I understood it, I suppose. Who would want to be Bonded to a Soma with such a significant vulnerability? How would they trust me to protect them? A Soma's whole purpose in life was to guard and protect their Mageian. Somas needed to be able to use all their senses to protect their Bonded. You wouldn't send a one-handed man off to war, why send a handicapped Soma? Mageia were just too precious of a resource to be wasted on a Soma with such a significant handicap. Or, at least, that is what everyone in my life had told me, except Dagan. No one had ever believed in me like Dagan did.

I was attending this Touchpoint only because I'd been ordered to assist with logistics for the event. Someone had to track the results, make sure everyone was lined up appropriately, that everything was kept in order. I'd performed the support task many times as a cadet but had hoped I'd put the endless paper pushing behind me once I graduated.

I took the chance to sneak a glance at my friend. I hadn't told Dagan yet about my disqualification because I knew he would pitch a fit over it, and I was just done fighting the system that seemed designed to exclude me at every turn.

As a Soma with a disability, I hadn't been required to train to someday protect a Bonded Mageia, but I'd fought tooth and nail for the opportunity. I'd hoped that if I pushed myself, excelled in everything, the Search Committee would overlook my challenges and see what I might offer.

Years of hard work had paid off and I'd grudgingly been given the opportunity to participate in Touchpoints with the rest of his class, regardless of how unlikely it was that any Mageia would be wanting to Bond with a hard of hearing Soma. Before the new War Leader was appointed I probably would never have been presented to a newly discovered Mageia at all. They were just too rare and valuable of a resource to "waste" on someone like me.

But since Polemos had taken over as War Leader, every Soma who graduated received a rating based on their power levels and performance on a scale of one to five. High level Somas were given priority access to new Mageia. Dagan for example, was rated at power level three, performance level five, so his overall score was four stars. He would be one of the first Somas introduced to the new Mageia.

My power level potential was high. I'd scored a five on all my power evaluations, which had surprised me since I hadn't been able to change shape. I'd also scored a five on my performance scores, despite this the Committee had still reduced my overall score to a one, as evaluated by the Instructors Council. I suspected there was one instructor in particular who's opinion had weighed heavily against me.

Dagan and I had already met all of the Illyrian unbonded Mageia that were of age. Since a Soma's relationship with their Mageia typically held at least some sexual component, those under eighteen were not permitted to attend a Touchpoint event. That didn't mean they didn't find their match before that age. Many Illyrian Mageia were Bonded well before they turned eighteen. Mageia were so rare in Illyria that an unbonded Mageia was almost unheard of until they had begun smuggling the persecuted race out of Alexandria.

Illyria had formerly left matching a Soma and Mageia up to destiny. Polemos took a dim view of wasting any potential war resource and had changed that philosophy. He had insisted that, as part of the war effort, they prioritize introducing the refugee Mageia to Somas who had completed their tactical training and were highly rated, rather than leaving the match up to fate. His edict had been a two-edged sword: on one hand, it had given me the opportunity to participate in the Touchpoints up until this point. On the other, it now disqualified me from future consideration.

"Mageia are a resource," my cadre had been told as they prepared for final evaluations. "You need to be the best of the best to be considered. The powers of our Bonded pairs may well be the deciding factor in this fight. You do not waste resources in a war."

I sighed as we headed toward the Tower Pavilion. I had no desire to watch virtually every other Soma my age have an opportunity to match with a Mageia while I stood on the sidelines, but orders were orders.

Dag looked at me curiously as I turned to get his things.

You look like shit, Dag signed. Still not sleeping?

I shook my head, not really wanting to discuss my vivid dreams with my friend. I grabbed my jacket and followed Dagan out of the apartment building. The walk to the Tower Pavilion usually took about thirty minutes. We could have taken a bus, but with traffic at this time of day it was probably just as quick to simply walk. Besides, focusing on signing as they walked meant we could ignore the stares of strangers.

I could almost read Dagan's mind as I saw him decide not to pursue the issue of my poor sleep. We both knew that my only options would be to seek counseling or sleeping medication, both of which could lead to disqualification. Not that it mattered anymore, but Dag didn't know that yet.

Polemos isn't wasting any time with this group of Mageia,Dagan signed emphatically. They arrived on the Chrysalis just this morning. We got orders to report less than an hour after they got here.

We need them,I signed stoically. Every single Mageia counts.

Everyone knew that Illyria had been losing the war against Alexandria until Polemos had been appointed. The man had an uncanny understanding of Alexandrian strategies, and under his guidance they had finally begun to hold their own, and even occasionally beat back the Alexandrians. His support of a weapons research division had begun to yield fruit, but nothing could make up for the overwhelming advantage the Alexandrians had with their Mageia.

For reasons no one quite understood, there were almost no Illyrian-born Elusians. The few that did exist had been so traumatized by what they saw their fellow citizens go through under Suppression that most were extremely reluctant to use their powers, even on enemy Mageia. They knew all too well what their powers could do.

Things had been especially bleak for our country until about two years ago when the first group of smuggled Mageians had been brought to Illyria. Out of that first group of forty or so, almost all of them had matched with a Soma within three months, unlocking the magical abilities of both Bonded. The Mageians gained the ability to access multiple elements, and their Bonded became resistant to magic and even more powerful shifters. Of course, not every Mageian became a Tesseris Mage, able to completely block the Elusian Suppression ability, but some became Dual or Tri Mages, and were able to provide at least some protection to their fellow magic users.

These newly recruited Mageians had shown they had a serious bone to pick with their former masters and had already been combat trained by the enemy. With the support of the refugees, the Illyrians had been steadily making inroads into their opponent's positions.

I hate to think where we'd be right now without Polemos,I signed with more energy.

It's almost creepy how well he understands the Alexandrians' war plans sometimes,Dagan responded. It's like he knows what they are going to do even before they do.

Maybe he does?I signed. Maybe he has-

Dagan was stepping out to cross one of the busy streets when I caught a glimpse of motion from the corner of my eye. My arm flew out and thrust Dagan back just as a car with flashing lights flew by. Dimly, I could just barely sense what might have been the sound of a siren.

Rattled, Dagan looked around in surprise.

You okay?I asked.

Dagan nodded but swallowed hard.

Yeah, sorry. Just wasn't watching.

I reached out and affectionately slapped him on the back of the head.

Pay attention! I don't want you getting hurt, I signed.

I know. I will.Dag signed ruefully. He was a little flighty sometimes and I'd helped him learn to focus his attention over the years.

By the time we arrived at the Pavilion, my thoughts were firmly on the here and now as I struggled to figure out how to slip away. We swiped our badges at the security desk and were directed to the auditorium. We had gone through this song and dance at least twenty times now, and I was so over the hopeful emotional buildup that inevitably came crashing down.

When they had first started holding the Touchpoints, as they were now called, I'd been as excited as any other unbonded Soma.

Bonding with your Mageia was considered the high point of a Soma's life. Nothing else came close, or so they had always been told. After having been through so many Touchpoints without being chosen, I was actually starting to agree with the Selection Committee and was fairly certain I would never find his Mageia. The thought had left me feeling frustrated, helpless and more than a little bit desperate. I didn't want to end up like most unbonded Somas.

During our senior year of training the Commandant had taken their entire class on a field trip to the warehouse district without explanation. We had toured building after building where only unbonded Somas were permitted to work. Man or woman, all their faces had held a certain haggard quality, their eyes weary and haunted.

Back on the transport the Commandant had addressed the trainees.

"Does anyone know why we held this trip?" he asked.

Blank faces stared back at him. No one volunteered an answer. They had been given no context for the trip, just ordered to show up.

"Finding and training to protect your Mageia should be the main priority of each and every one of you, something we've been drilling into your thick skulls for the last four years. Now that you are approaching graduation, I needed you to see what awaits you if you don't find your Bonded," the commandant said, his eyes gliding over his charges. "Every single one of the Somas in those buildings have been through the same training you have. They have served Illyria, and continue to serve, to the best of their ability, but they are missing the other half of their souls."

He paused to allow his words to sink in.

"I didn't bring you here to pity them. These are good men and women. Strong Somas. Some performed excellently during training, but regardless of their strength, their days are numbered. Without the other half of their souls… Well, most don't live much past thirty or forty. Even more choose to end their lives in suicide runs by joining the Omada."

It was well known that Somas who failed to Bond tended to die young, but I'd never heard it called out quite so plainly before. Nor had I been aware that the elite Omada members were actually suicide squads, though I realized I shouldn't have been surprised. In Illyrian society the only thing worse for a Soma than failing to Bond was losing your Bonded. Omada gave them an opportunity to make their deaths meaningful.

Focusing back on the moment, I glanced around the auditorium. In many ways it was much like the school gymnasium from his youth. Bleachers lined the walls and could be pulled out to house spectators for athletic competitions. There hadn't been much opportunity for leisure in the last several years, though. Everyone's focus was on the war effort.

Leaders in the crowd were sorting Somas into lines based on their overall ratings. During the Touchpoint they would literally be touching hands with each of the new Mageia and the results between them would be recorded for evaluation. Strong matches would be encouraged to interact.

Dagan made as if to stay with me, but I pushed him towards the aisle where the four-star Somas were lining up.

Over the Ridge by Hugo First, I signed.

Dagan laughed.

Under the Stands by Seymore Butts? He signed back, and it was my turn to roll my eyes and force a smile.

Since they were kids, they had been coming up with made up book and author names to fit various occasions. Some of them were downright juvenile, but it was their thing.

You need to get in line, I signed.

Dagan looked torn, just like he always did since I had been ordered to be one of the last Somas at a Touchpoint. He was unhappy and felt like he was abandoning me to the end of the line. Only this time, he didn't know I wouldn't be participating at all.

I want to stay with you, he signed, but I saw his eyes flick unconsciously toward the group of Mageia being escorted to the front of the auditorium. As a four-star Soma, Dagan would be one of the first to be introduced to the new Mageia. With me being rated a Single Star Soma it would have been a long time before I had the chance to participate. As usual, though, I couldn't ignore the hungry look in Dagan's eyes as he looked at the stage. He, too, was feeling the pressure to find a Bonded.

If you don't get over there and some douche steals your Mageia, I'll kick your ass,I signed smiling. And you know I will! I added emphatically.

See you afterward?he asked, finally conceding.

I've got some errands to run after this. Catch you at dinner?

Dagan nodded, smiled and jogged off to go get in his own line. When his back was turned I let the fake smile fade from my face. I wanted his friend to find his Bonded, I truly did, but I also knew that when he did their lives would change forever. Dagan wouldn't have time to spend with him then. He would be sent to one of the new training academies for newly Bonded pairs and I would be alone. Again.

I had almost gotten used to being alone, isolated. It wasn't that the Illyrians hadn't been kind to him. They had taken him in, raised him just as they would have one of their own who was orphaned, but Illyria had a problem: with so few Mageia, the lifespans of their Soma counterparts were significantly shortened. That meant that the population age skewed strongly toward the lower end of the spectrum. The war also contributed to the problem, as more and more adult Somas lost their lives in defense of their country. This was resulting in fewer Soma elders surviving. Much of their society and political structure was now being maintained by humans.

The orphanage he had been placed in had been run by a no-nonsense human woman, Helena Adamantia. Helena's husband had been a Soma who had died protecting his Mageia. She had always made me feel welcome, but my communication challenges frustrated her.

After I'd been sent home for fighting—for the third time—she had sat me down and showed me books and videos on sign language that she had discovered in the archives. Together they had learned how to communicate using sign language. It was Helena who had encouraged him to pursue his Soma training.

"You have a gift, mikros alepou," she'd said. She'd called me her little fox as long as he could remember. "And a responsibility to make the best use of it you can."

A crowd of Somas entered behind him, jostling him in their excitement to join the link of Soma now lined up around the auditorium. I took the opportunity to circle around the auditorium to report to the Touchpoint Commander.

"Specialist Katastrofis reporting for duty, sir," I said when I found the man seated at a nearby piled high with paperwork.

"Ah! Katastrofis!" the harried looking man said, barely looking up from his papers. I had to tilt my head to make out the words the man was saying.

"You're on escort duty for any unmatched Mageia. Once the event is over, you will escort any unmatched diasothike to the Tower Pavilion. Hopefully there won't be many."

"Yes, sir," I answered with a salute.

The Commander dismissed me to my duties and I repressed a sigh. Salt in the wound, right? Good enough to guard them from here to the Pavilion, but not good enough for the Touchpoint. I shook my head in a vain attempt to clear it and headed for the front of the auditorium.

As I made his way to his duty station, I saw Dagan gesture wildly from across the auditorium to catch my attention.

What are you doing?he signed curiously. Why aren't you getting in line?

I'll tell you later,I signed curtly, ducking my head.

Before Dagan could respond, I turned away, effectively ending the conversation. I knew there was going to be hell to pay for this. Dagan was already queued and wouldn't be able to come after me, but that didn't mean I wouldn't hear about it at dinner.

What I'd done to earn a friend like Dagan, I would never know. I'd never forget the day they'd met.

I'd only been twelve and was struggling with training. Transferred from the orphanage to the Soma Academy, none of my instructors knew sign language, so I had had to rely on my lip-reading ability to understand orders. The instructors did not make allowances for my hearing challenges in any way. It wasn't always possible for me to see the faces of those giving instruction, nor did all of them want me to. Many of them felt I shouldn't have been admitted to Soma training to begin with, so they didn't go out of their way to help.

I was quickly falling behind in many subjects, simply because I couldn't hear the instructions. Back in the orphanage, I'd at least had Lady Helena to talk with or provide clarification. Here, I had no such support. The attitude of my instructors had rubbed off on the young Somas in their charge. That, plus the increasing levels of competition that was fostered amongst the young Somas as they trained, had led to increasing isolation.

On that particular day it had been the end of the quarter, and they were having their final fitness exams. Fitness was one of the areas in which I still significantly excelled. I didn't have to rely on teachers to give much in the way of directions. A pushup was a pushup, after all.

This session's final test would be an obstacle course that was known for breaking some of the less able Somas. Four of my fellow recruits had already failed out of training because they couldn't manage it, but I was confident that this, at least, I could ace.

Dagan had just been assigned to our unit that morning, having transferred from another city. He'd joined the roll call when the instructor began giving orders to the group. From what I could make out from my vantage point, Dagan explained that he had completed his finals before the transfer.

I struggled to get a view of Captain Kopanos in order to read his lips and understand the orders given to the group. Kopanos was one of the instructors who seemed determined to make sure I didn't graduate.

The training compound had multiple trails that circled around and back toward the main buildings and they were often told to take different routes on any given run. Our final score would be based on how they placed in the race.

"You all know the drill. The test will have you run the western slope—" I had been able to make out before one of the other cadets deliberately moved between me and the instructor. The larger body of the older cadet had prevented me from catching the rest of the orders, no matter how I craned his neck. I the bodies of the cadets shake as they laughed at something Kopanos said and a few glanced my way, but I hadn't caught what was said. Of them all, only Dagan hadn't seemed to find whatever Kopanos was saying to be funny.

Mentally, I'd just shrugged. I would just complete the obstacle course, then follow the rest of the group and do what they did. It had happened before, and I knew that asking the instructor to repeat their instructions wouldn't go down well.

Captain Kopanos was one of the instructors who seemed to despise him, though I couldn't think of anything I might have done to deserve his enmity. The captain had made it clear he didn't think that I should be allowed to train with the "real" cadets, despite the fact that my performance was usually better than anyone else in the unit, especially when it came to the obstacle course.

I loved running. The rhythm of it set my mind free. I didn't have to struggle to focus on faces every minute, which became exhausting after a while. I could just let myself breathe, feel my heart pump and the blood flowing through my veins as I ate up the miles of the track. I knew this course like the back of my hand. I would lose some time waiting to find out what path to take after the mud crawl, but I was confident I could make it up and still at least be in the top five finishers.

I waited for the command to start, and the whole group took off.

I easily passed all the members of my unit and was the first to reach the course. I scrambled up and over the walls, swung across the rope course and crawled under the razor wire, utterly focused on my run. I knew we were being tracked by long distance cameras and our performance recorded for review. I didn't dare slack off.

The part I hated the most was a slog through a swampy section of the course. It was the midway point, which meant that I would have to spend the second half of the course muddy and itchy as I ran.

I had just emerged from the muddy wallow when someone grabbed my arm pulling me up short.

I turned to glare at whoever was trying to stop me. To my surprise, I saw it was our newest addition who had dragged me to a halt, doubled over with one hand on his knee as he gasped for breath. I tried to pull away from his grip, but Dagan refused to let go.

"Damn…fast…stop…they…not going to…"

"What?" I asked, trying to read Dagan's lips as he gasped.

"It's a fake, a trick," Dagan said as he straightened up, his eyes flashing with anger. "The captain told them not to tell you. The exam is delayed until tomorrow."

I'd looked at the other young Soma in disbelief. He was still in the dress uniform he had reported to Kopanos in, which was now sweat stained and askew from chasing me. He was breathing hard from running to catch up with me and had lost a dress shoe somewhere along the way.

I looked behind him, and sure enough, there were no other members of the team in sight. The obstacle course was completely deserted, except for the two of them. I glanced up and saw the cameras blink red and green and saw the shutter blink that indicated someone had saved an image.

"Fuck," I swore, looking down at my mud-covered body. "Dicks."

"Pretty much," the new recruit said, finally catching his breath. "What'd you do to piss off the whole unit?"

"You tell me," I said, sighing.

"I'm Dagan," the boy said, sticking his hand out.

I looked at the outstretched hand, then down at my mud-covered one.

"Really? I'm a mess," I said gesturing at his body.

Dagan shrugged and took my muddy hand in his anyway.

"Doesn't matter to me. Nice to meet you…?"

"Rhuyin," I'd responded automatically.

Nice to meet you, Dagan signed hesitantly.

I felt my eyebrows disappear into his hairline.

You know sign? How? Where are you from?I signed excitedly in response.

Dagan's face broke into a smile at the excited look on my face.

"I'm sorry," he said, making sure he was facing me. "That's the extent of my knowledge so far. One of the other cadets told me you didn't hear well, and I saw you signing to yourself, so I looked up some simple signs this morning. I think I can ask you where the latrine is, but I wouldn't bet on it."

The rueful look on his face made me laugh.

"It's okay," I said. "That's more than anyone else here has done. I do pretty good at lip reading, though, as long as I can see the person who's speaking."

Dagan nodded.

"Still, I'd like to learn to sign. Would you teach me?" the new boy asked.

"Really?" I looked at him in surprise. "Why would you want to learn?"

"Well, I certainly don't want to be friends with any of those kopanos," he said.

I felt the confusion cross my face.

"Kopanos? Like Captain Kopanos?"

"You didn't know?" Dagan's smile got even larger. "Kopanos is Greek for ‘jerk'. So Captain Jerk and his little buddies can take a flying leap."

I felt the first laugh in ages escape my lips as Dagan grinned back at me.

They had walked the remainder of the course back to the barracks. After a quick shower Dagan had insisting on going directly to the Commandant's office and filing a complaint about the captain's actions. Kopanos tried to deny it, but the tell-tale videos and pictures he had captured on camera were discovered on his phone. He had been transferred out of the Academy and back to the capital and the friendship between Dagan and I had blossomed from there.

I taught Dagan sign language and Dagan helped communicate instructions I might have missed. By the time we graduated six years later we had tied for top honors. Which was why, shortly after graduation when the Touchpoints began, Dagan had been incensed on my behalf when I had received an overall rating of one star.

"Let it go, Dag," I had finally had to insist.

"It's not right," he'd said, slamming the door behind them hard enough for me to feel the vibrations through the floor. "It's fucked up to shoot you down just because of your hearing. I mean, when you Bond, it might even improve enough so it doesn't matter!"

"There's no guarantee that will happen," I'd said, slumping into the armchair. Dagan's folks lived in the city and I'd become a fixture in their home over the previous years.

"Besides, we can't take the chance. If there's another match for a Mageia they need to Bond now and be protected now. We need them too badly to take the risk. I don't like it, but I understand the reasoning."

So now I stood at the side of the auditorium, waiting to escort the new Mageia to their quarters after everything was over. Dagan was going to hit the roof when he found out I had been disqualified.

A stage was set up in front of the auditorium with cameras trained on it, the feed showing on giant screens. The event would be broadcast all over Illyria. Polemos felt it was important to give all the Somas in Illyria hope of eventually finding their matches.

The new Mageia looked shell shocked, I thought as the cameras panned back and forth. Like previous Touchpoints, they were still wearing their Machi Thanatos gear, which was pretty standard: black tac pants and black t-shirts with the logo of their respective countries. What was different with this group was that each shirt had had the logo cut from it. Some were ragged like they had been ripped off; others looked like they had been cut with a knife. I'd never seen that happen before, and he wondered what the story was behind it.

There were about sixty or so Mageia on the stage, and literally a thousand or more Somas in the room. Odds were definitely not in the Soma's favor. As I looked at the men and women lined up around me, the scent of desperation was strong in the room. After being rejected so many times, maybe it was better not to even try.

From my position off stage, I watched as the line of five-star rated Somas began moving forward, stepping onstage and brushing fingers with the new Mageia, who seemed confused at the process. I guess I couldn't blame them for their confusion. Before a few days ago it was likely they hadn't even known they could bond with a Soma, much less how these things were handled in Illyria.

Then it happened: Two females, a Mageia and a Soma, touched fingers and both jerked their hands back as if stung. The women looked at each other for a moment in shock and awe as applause and shouts went up around them. I couldn't hear the shouts but I could feel the reverberation of the sounds through the floor. It was believed that the stronger the response at a Touchpoint, the more powerful the pairing would be. The response he'd seen was a good indication they would make a great match.

The proctors herded the delighted Soma off the stage to one of the curtained off private areas to wait for the conclusion of the Touchpoint. The Mageia would still have to meet the other Somas, but with a response as strong as that, it was unlikely that there would be a more powerful match. Usually the magic just made a slight tingling sensation in the hands, not that kind of shock, unless both Soma and Mageia were very strong and an especially good match.

Of course, just because two people were compatible magically didn't automatically mean that they would end up Bonded, but it was a strong indicator. They would be given the opportunity to get to know one another and make the decision of whether they would like to undergo the Bonding ritual.

It wasn't common, but if a Mageia was compatible with more than one Soma, it was Mageia's choice as to who they Bonded with. If they Bonded, they would be sent to a special training program for newly Bonded pairs; it was another program established by Polemos. The Mageia could also choose not to Bond at all, but I hadn't heard of a Mageia refusing a match in recent memory.

I had matched a couple of different times, but the Mageia had always chosen someone else to Bond with. I didn't resent their choice, not really; I actually understood it, but it saddened me. I didn't want to be a liability.

I stood on the opposite side of stage and watched as Dagan got to the stairs and began crossing, his right hand outstretched to lightly brush fingers with the Mageia in line. I held my breath as my friend moved slowly, taking his time, brushing his fingers through each of the outstretched hands. He was almost at the end of the stage when he and a female Mageia both jerked their hands back as if burned.

All the breath left my body as I watched my best friend find his match. The joy on Dagan's face as he rubbed his hand then stepped forward and bowed to the female Mageia made something twist uncomfortably in his chest. The girl blushed and smiled at him before extending her hand. He took it and stepped forward. The proctors tried to convince her to return to the line, but she shook her head adamantly and Dag glared balefully at the proctors who tried to separate them. It happened like that sometimes; the match was just right for both participants.

I saw Dagan look around, and I knew he was looking for me. Shit.

The pair were escorted to the end of the stage and walked down the stairs. It took Dagan a moment to realize that it was Rhu in front of him and not some other soldier.

"Rhu!" he exclaimed when he realized it was me. "Rhu, this is Deliah! Deliah, this is my best friend, Rhuyin."

I took her hand and felt a strong tingling sensation in my fingers. Time seemed to come to come to a screeching halt. I felt my eyes close a moment as I felt the tell-tale spark that sprang from Deliah's hand to my own. It was stronger than any of the responses I'd gotten from Mageia in the past. But I just…couldn't. I couldn't do this to my best friend. I wouldn't. Dagan had stood by me for years, helped me, supported me, practically made me part of his family. I would not betray him like that.

I opened my eyes and met Deliah's, which were a warm brown that matched her golden skin. Dagan was distracted by well-wishers at just that moment, and Deliah glanced at our joined hands. She raised her eyes to mine and raised an eyebrow, but I shook my head at her.

"No," was all I said, with a small glance at Dagan. She seemed to understand the weight of everything unsaid behind that single word, because she just nodded once before releasing my hand and smiling sadly at me.

Dagan was a good Soma and would do a great job protecting his Mageia. I had seen how Deliah had comforted some of the frightened and confused Mageia at the beginning of the Touchpoint. They would make a good pair.

I kept repeating it over and over in my head. It took another Soma prodding me from behind to realize I had lost track of the activities on the stage. I stepped aside to make room for the Somas who were stepping down from the stage.

As I quickly moved aside, I struggled desperately to keep focused. It wasn't until a long while later that I realized that one of the proctors of the Touchpoint was Captain Kopanos himself. I swallowed hard, hoping the man wouldn't notice me. The role he had held at the Academy had been much coveted, and the captain had never forgiven me for being the cause of his transfer. He had also never been promoted beyond the position of captain, something else he blamed me for.

The line slowly snaked around as all the Somas were presented to the new Mageia. If a Soma and Mageia seemed to have a reaction, the Soma was escorted to a waiting area to have the opportunity to spend time with their potential match. That was where Dagan and Deliah had been led.

My throat was dry and my hands more than a little shaky as I resumed my post. I felt like my heart caught in my throat as I saw Kopanos turn and spy me, his eyes narrowing.

Shit.

I refocused my gaze on the Mageia on the stage. Normally I would keep track of the number of matches that were registered to try and remember what my own odds were, but I had lost count when Dagan had matched. And of course, it didn't matter anymore, since I would never take that stage again myself.

I could feel Kopanos' eyes on me as I remained at the post as the ceremony was drawing to a conclusion. I knew many of the people around me were speaking to each other, but I tried not to read lips unless I was involved in the conversation. It was too much like eavesdropping for my tastes, but sometimes I couldn't avoid catching snippets.

"…that hurt!"

"…cute ass, but I…"

"…weird custom. I would have thought—"

"…where the hell did Helios and Kat disappear to? Won't…"

I watched as men and women I had walked beside during previous Touchpoints stepped forward, their senses focused on the hands they brushed. I imagined what they felt, their skin sliding over his own. Some hands were dirty, others calloused. Sometimes rough nails caught on skin, jagged and broken, but the faces blurred together. I could smell their scents, some fearful, some injured, some exhausted, but too many for me to identify any one person.

I tore his gaze from their faces to the back of the stage, trying not to think about the number of times I had crossed it, and the number of times I had been rejected.

Lottie stepped forward to the microphone as the last of the Somas exited the stage and the roar of the crowd reverberated through the ground.

"Such cause for celebration!" she exclaimed. "Every single new Mageian has matched with at least one or more Somas!"

Even I could hear the roar of the crowd then. That meant almost sixty new potential Bonded pairs! They had never had that many matches in a single Touchpoint before.

A familiar bulk interposed itself between me and the screens.

"Looks like your services won't be needed, Katastrofis," Captain Kopanos sneered at me. "Not even dregs for a cripple like you."

The urge to punch the captain was so strong I realized I had already made a fist. Kopanos saw it and smiled.

"Do it," he said, his eyes narrowing as he dared me.

Just then someone dodged between the two of us, shoving rudely between Kopanos and I as they ran down the hall. I felt something strange flash through my body; it was a strange electrical vibration that shook me to my bones. All he saw was a flash of coppery brown and gold hair and a ragged black t-shirt before the man disappeared.

"Savages," muttered Kopanos as he turned away, dismissing me as if he were beneath notice.

I almost punched him then, but stopped as the scent of the man who had run past hit me It was… intoxicating.

I'd always been sensitive to smells and tended to associate specific scents with specific people. Kopanos, for example, smelled sweet and sour, like fruit left out to rot. The stranger who had rushed by them had smelled like vanilla and cinnamon and everything that meant home. I felt myself taking deeper breaths just to try and take in more of the stranger's scent.

Since all of the Mageia had made a match, and Kopanos had technically dismissed me, I found himself following the scent of the stranger down one of the halls, my anger at Kopanos forgotten. Maybe the man was a human who had come with the new Mageia? I couldn't imagine a Mageia rushing to escape a Soma, but I figured I should make sure he made it back safely.

Somehow making sure the man was safe seemed more important than anything else I could think of.

Without further though I followed the scent of the young man into the empty halls of the administration wing.