Chapter Three

Ricky

It was useless, I wasn't getting anywhere with my pole and Dom had all but pushed me out the door, telling me to get my act together. So here I was, an aimless rhubarb wandering the streets.

Thoughts of going to see Crimson again, to talk through my fascination with Burke's balls, could wait. Talking to a female about balls… yep, that would get me seven shades of rhubarb embarrassed.

"Look at you, acting all wilty rhubarb. What's with ya?" Red appeared from nowhere, making me blink twice just in case the ball situation was affecting my eyes now, too.

He was my best friend from the patch and a beta rhubarb like me. We shared everything. "I'm ball obsessed," I answered before I could get my head and lips in sync.

In the process of slinging his arm around my shoulder, it hung mid-air like he was considering waving at someone. "Ball obsessed?" he choked out and reddened. "You mean like soccer? Baseball? Basketball? Those kinds of balls, right?"

I shook my head morosely. "I wish." I looked him in the eye. "You know the new pride, the one Twirlie's mate is part of?"

"He's my brother," he answered, like that explained everything and I was being silly.

"Yeah, well… have you met the others in the pride?"

Red's lips quivered. "What, besides the flasher?"

It took a moment, and I grinned. "Yep, besides Twirlie's mate."

"Actually, no. It's been harvesting time and Crimson has been keeping me busy. And with how bad Twirlie had it for his mate, I decided I didn't need to pay a visit to their house and get the full ‘Maxi and Twirlie naked together effect'. It's bad enough,"—he tapped the side of his head—"hearing him serenade Maximus. So what's this gotta do with balls?" His nose wrinkled as he finally plonked his arm on my shoulder.

"In their pride they have a miniature bull called Burke…" I was back to looking and feeling like seven shades of rhubarb with how my head was full of certain body parts belonging to Burke, when Red nodded encouragingly. "He has enormous balls."

"Erm… right… yeah… I'm not sure what you want me to say to that?" Red became the color he was when in his stalk form.

I scratched my hot cheek. In for a cent, in for a dollar of rhubarb. "I wanna do stuff." That sounded so much better in my head.

"Do stuff," he squeaked in alarm.

"You know, the sexy stuff." To explain exactly what sexy stuff… I'd need a stiff rhubarb or two for that.

"To the Great Rhu, he's your mate!"

"Huh?" How had me wanting to touch Burke's balls gone to being mates? "What? How?" My little rhubarb heart did a mad flutter, the same way it did when Burke had wanted to sniff me.

"Ricky, when have you ever become ‘obsessed', your words, by someone's balls? It's just like Twirlie. He got obsessed the minute he met Maximus. You got rhubarbed by the Great Rhu."

"I did…" Feeling faint, I swayed right into Red's body and would have hit the pavement if not for him grabbing me under one arm.

"That pride must be having a free for all on mating passes. Maybe they'll have one for Glass and change his grumpy ass into a stalk of rhubarb sunshine." Red laughed hard enough it felt like he was trying to whisk me up in a bowl.

Everyone in town knew his older alpha brother for his grumpiness. I was positive not even a lion as pretty as Apollo could make Glass less grumpy.

I shook off the thought when Red didn't stop laughing, standing on my own two feet because no one liked to be whisked into a rhubarb custard pudding. "Can we get back to me," I huffed in frustration as my brain and Burke's ball saga pieced together. I had… a mate with enormous balls!

I'd won the ball lottery!

"Why are you grinning at me like that? It's kind of creepy with all your teeth on show." Red eyed me, finally having stopped his merriment at thoughts of Glass finding a mate.

"Burke's my mate."

"I thought we'd established that?"

The grin wasn't wanting to leave my face, even at Red's sarcastic comment. Nothing was going to dull my rhubarb shine. "I need to go and see him right now."

Red grabbed my arm, a frown appearing, making his forehead look like tilled earth. "What are you planning on doing?"

"What do you mean ‘planning'? I'm gonna go and announce we're mates and then get"—blushing harder than a rhubarb caught with his stalk out—"a hold of those balls," I murmured, my palms tingling better than when I slid down my pole.

"No, you can't do that," he exclaimed. "Haven't you seen any of those romancing movies? Even Twirlie romanced his mate."

"He sang to him through their mate connection. You've heard me, I can't sing for rhubarb! And I haven't heard Burke in my head." I shuddered. "Oh… maybe you're wrong."

I wilted at the thought.

"You're mates. I've known you your whole life. An interest—obsession about balls proves it to me. I'd bet my last parcel of rhubarb on it." He sighed loudly when I gave him a skeptical look. "Maybe try concentrating real hard."

My eyes crossed as I tried. Nope… just me in there! "It's not workin'!"

"Don't stress. Crimson, remember, she explained, mating for us is different. Not one rhubarb is the same as another."

My smile was back. "That's right." Then it fell right off my face. "How am I supposed to win my mate's heart when I don't know how to romance anyone?"

"Who is the finest pole dancer in the world?"

I eyed him. "Me?" I would not play down the fact that I was a fantastic pole dancer… when I wasn't thinking about a certain bull's balls.

"Yep. Dance your way into his…" he coughed, "balls!"

I could do that… I think?