Chapter 35

Chapter Thirty-Five

Ava

C ouple of days ago I returned home, but I have yet to tell Oliver I'm back. I'm afraid if I do, he will ask questions that I don't want to answer. He will know something is wrong. I asked Max to give me some space. He continues to tell me he's good with just being friends. But I know how he feels. I wish I could try it with Max. But I don't even want to imagine what Viktor would think or how he would react if I got into a relationship with Max.

My life is not what I pictured it would be by now. I'm twenty-four years old, not married, and pregnant. Let's not forget that my son's father is married. Talk about being a statistic.

Looking out the window, I think, how did it happen? How did I get here? When did I get pregnant? We were always so careful. I haven't thought much about it, but you know how it is when you have too much time on your hands. Your brain gets away from you. I bet it was that day he whisked me to his hotel. He'd been stressed, and I wanted him to reset. We had such a fun-filled day. I wanted him to forget for a moment the weight of the world he carries.

"Put me down." I giggle.

"You said you wanted to take a swim."

"I'm not wearing a bathing suit, and people can come to the jacuzzi." I see him take his cell out.

"Have the jacuzzi area closed for maintenance for the next few hours." I'm not sure who he's talking with, but he doesn't wait for a response.

"Viktor put me down." He slaps my ass, waking my libido. He sets me down and walks over to a towel rack. "What are you doing?"

"I'm going to claim the woman I'm marrying."

"You can't be serious?"

"Have you not learned anything, baby girl?"

Those are the moments I miss the most. The quiet ones. The ones that might seem small and insignificant but mean everything to me. He made love to me over and over again that day. After the jacuzzi, he took me to a room, and we were in bed until the next afternoon. I'm pretty sure I forgot to take my pill that day.

"Your daddy can make me forgetful. Wow!" I feel a sharp pain. I take a deep breath and continue to go about my day.

I sit back on the couch and try to take it easy by reading a magazine. Suddenly the sharp pain comes again. There's a knock at the door. I can barely stand, but the knocking continues, louder now. It takes me forever, but I make it and open the door.

"Are you okay?" Max asks in a panic and walks inside the apartment.

"Why are you here, Max? I told you I needed space."

"I wanted to check on you. I was calling, but you didn't answer. I was worried. What's going on?"

"I'm pretty sure I'm in labor." I try to take deep breaths to reduce the pain like I was taught.

"What should I do? What can I get you?" I want to slap Max. His panic is not helping me.

"Take a breath," I order, trying to breathe through a contraction. The time has come.

"I'm sorry, I don't know what to do." The man looks like a white sheet of paper.

"Get me my cell," I say once the contraction passes. I dial the only person who will not freak out and know what to do.

"Ava, are you okay?" There's a sudden panic in his voice.

"No. I need you. It's time. The baby is coming, and Max is freaking out. I can't do this alone." I try not to cry. I know I need to keep my cool.

"Where are you?"

"Home. I got back a few days ago."

"I'll be there in twenty minutes. Do you think you'll be all right?"

"I think so. Contractions are about twelve to fifteen minutes apart."

"If anything changes before I get to you, call me."

"Okay. Hurry, please. I think Max might pass out, and I can't do this alone." I look at Max, and now he looks green.

"What a punk." Oliver laughs. "I'm coming."

"Hurry." I end the call. "Max, you better sit down. I'm going to run a bath. It's supposed to help with contractions. Oliver will be here soon." I start walking toward the bathroom.

"You didn't need to call him. I just needed a few minutes to compose myself."

"It's okay. Oliver is all business. I need someone who isn't emotional. Someone who can keep me calm." But I'm not so sure that is the truth. I really want Viktor. But I can't call him, not after everything.

I've done so much research, and a bath is supposed to help with contractions. I set my labor gown and undergarments on my bed. Hopefully, these small tasks will distract me from the pain of the contractions. I've never been happier that my bedroom is next to the bathroom. Max being here doesn't exactly make me feel comfortable. Slowly I get in the tub. The water is hot, but it feels good. I can do this. Oliver will be here soon. Everything will be fine.

"Ava, I'm okay now. What do you need?" Max asks from the bathroom door, which I left open.

"Nothing. But I prefer you stay in the living room if you don't mind. I'm naked." I say even though it is stating the obvious. I try to sink a little in the tub to cover my body. I'm kicking myself for opening the front door to him. Max shouldn't be here. It feels so wrong.

"Are you sure?" He takes a step closer.

"Yes. Wait for Oliver. I'll yell if I need anything."

He leaves reluctantly. I wish I could say I feel bad, but this is an intimate moment, and I don't want to share it with him.

I'm contemplating if I should call Viktor after all. He deserves to be here. I want him here. But I can't call him. I think that's why I called Oliver. He will make me feel like Viktor is here. Even though I have not always been nice to Oliver. I remember a conversation we had shortly after I went to the cabin.

"You promised, Oliver. You lied."

"I didn't lie. I wasn't the one who told him."

"Someone did. He barged into my home and demanded I explain why I didn't tell him. Then Fiona showed up," I scream.

"I'm sorry."

"I don't need anything from any Manarch."

"You'll need someone with you."

"I won't need anyone. I can take care of myself. I have to go."

Max shouldn't be here. Viktor should be here, but it's my fault he isn't. If I had stayed in this apartment and not gone to the cabin, Viktor would be here holding my hand. I'm robbing Viktor of this moment and feel guilty. My mind wanders to the day I first met Viktor. It feels like a lifetime ago. He was so arrogant. Looking back, I fell for him instantly. He was like no one I had ever met.

"I love your daddy so much." I rub my belly. Shortly after, it tightens with another contraction. I cry in pain.

"Ava, are you okay? You need me in there?"

"No. Stay where you are," I order. "Fuck."

I breathe in and out until the contraction subsides—they're getting closer together. I'm tempted to call out for Max but I don't. I feel he will freak out, which will only make me freak out more. Instead, I think of another memory of Viktor and me.

"You're cheating," I giggle.

"I never said I'd play fair." We're sitting on our bed playing checkers.

"Let me win." I bump his leg lightly, making the board move.

"And lose the deal? You know me better than that." I woke up not feeling great. Viktor wants to call a doctor.

"I don't need the doctor. It's a stupid deal." He made a deal with me. If I win, I could stay in bed and take care of myself. If he wins, I have to see a doctor. I was surprised he didn't command me to. He always wants to control everything.

"I miss your daddy," I say under my breath. Then another contraction comes, and I cry out in pain.

How am I supposed to do this alone?

I'm barely keeping it together. Viktor should be here. But I know he isn't because of me. I should call him, but I made a mess of things. I'm not sure if he would forgive me. I can't help the tears. I'm not sure if they're from pain or sadness. I suppose a little of both. I've never felt so alone in my life. I have a mother who didn't stick around. And a father who, unfortunately, always thinks of himself first. All this is so fucked up. But I know I should be grateful. Soon my son will be born, and I'll be able to hold him in my arms.