Chapter 23

Chapter Twenty-Three

Ava

" H ow are you feeling today?" Lisa asks.

"Tired as usual."

Lisa gives me a sympathetic smile.

"What are you doing today?" she asks

"Running some errands. Did you need anything?"

"Not really. Just checking in." She smiles again.

"Thank you for being such an amazing friend. I don't know how I would have survived all this time without you." I touch my swollen belly.

"I'm grateful for you. You're a great friend to me as well." Her eyes water.

"Don't cry, or I'll start too." We laugh. "I think I'll cook tonight. Maybe we can watch a chick flick."

"It's a date. Don't do too much. If you get tired, come home. Remember what the doctor said. Lots of rest."

"I will." With my keys and purse, I leave.

I can't believe five months have passed since I left Viktor. There are moments I want to call him and hear his voice, but I know it won't do any good. He needs to focus on Fiona and their baby. Reaching out to him would only torture me. My son and I are doing well. My son is my life, my reason for living. What I'm feeling is a want, and I shouldn't want Viktor. Outside, I spot Marco across the street. He crosses once he spots me.

"Where to Ms. O'Brien?"

"I'm running some errands today."

"I can drive you. Where's the first stop?" I give him a look, but he gives me a look back.

"Fine," I say, already crossing the street.

Our first stop is the post office to mail dad's rent. I haven't seen him since I left. He believes I live in another state, working and going to school. He says he's better and hasn't been gambling. Whether it's true or not isn't my problem anymore. But it doesn't mean I won't help him.

My second stop is a baby boutique. Viktor jumps into my mind against my will as I enter. I can't stop myself from wishing he was here, holding my hand. Would we be playfully arguing about what our son should wear or the colors for the nursery?

"Welcome. Please let us know if you need anything." A woman greets me as I walk inside. I asked Marco to stay outside. He was fine with it since there weren't a lot of people.

"I will." I walk around the store. There are so many beautiful things. It's overwhelming. I've never felt more alone.

"Ava?"

I look up. "Tina," I say, shocked to see her here. Did she find me too?

"You're pregnant," she exclaims as shock, incredulity and excitement cross her face. She looks at my belly, and I touch it instinctively. I look to see if anyone is with her. "I'm alone," she says, reading my mind.

"Can we talk somewhere?" I ask desperately.

" We are definitely going to talk. You have a lot of explaining to do." She leads us outside.

"Ms. O'Brien, Ms. Manarch," Marco says, confused.

Tina wraps her arm around mine.

"Hi, Marco. It's been so long since we last saw each other," Tina says.

He looks quizzically at her.

"It's ok, Marco. We're going to go down the street to a café."

"I can drive you both."

"I'd rather walk if you don't mind," I say.

"Okay," Marco says. "Lead the way."

"Since when has Marco been with you?" Tina whispers.

"Long story," I whisper back, not wanting to give her any details of the reasoning behind it.

"You're not getting off that easy."

"I know. I'll tell you when we get to the café."

We walk in silence. I have no idea what I'm going to say to her. Normally, none of the Manarchs are on this side of town, yet suddenly they all seem to be here. What the hell is going on? Finally, we enter the café and are seated. Again, I got Marco to agree to stay outside to give Tina and me some privacy. He was more than happy. He always seems uncomfortable around Tina.

"Talk," she almost shouts.

"Please don't be angry at me."

"Of course I'm angry. You stopped taking my calls and answering texts. Then you changed your number. Must I also add that you're very pregnant?"

Our server takes our drink order, giving me a chance to think about how much to tell her.

"I'm not the first or the last woman to be pregnant."

"Don't bullshit me. You know what I meant. You didn't tell me you were pregnant."

"There's nothing to tell. I'm pregnant, and that is that."

"There's a Manarch baby inside of you. You should have told me." Her voice is loud, getting the attention of some patrons.

"Keep your voice down," I demand while looking around.

"Viktor deserves to know you're having his baby." I contemplate telling her the baby isn't Viktor's. "Don't even think about lying." Tina fixes me with a glare.

"You know things are complicated. I didn't know I was pregnant when I left, and that was for the best. We need to move on. He has a family, and I was in the way."

"Fiona was in the way, not you. But that's not the point. He deserves to know. We all do."

"It's complicated."

"Just tell me one thing. Why didn't you tell me? Who has been helping you? How is the baby?"

"That is more than one thing." We laugh as our drinks are set on the table. "I didn't want to keep it from you, trust me. I thought about calling you a million times. You have no idea how much I've missed you. I just don't want him to know. I couldn't ask you to keep this from him. It wouldn't be fair to you." I couldn't live with asking another person close to Viktor to keep a secret from him. It's bad enough that I asked Oliver.

"That wasn't your call to make. I would have kept your secret."

"Maybe. But you know how things are. Someone could have followed you and found out.

"As for me, I've been well. I found an apartment not too far from here with an amazing roommate. I have to admit, Viktor's money also helped."

"When are you due?"

"Couple of months." I touch my belly.

"I can't believe you've been doing this all on your own. Does your dad know?"

"I haven't really been on my own," I say, regretting it immediately. I can't afford for her to ask more questions. The last thing I need is to divulge that Oliver has been helping me. I wouldn't hear the end of it. But she doesn't follow up, and I'm grateful. "My dad doesn't know. Only my roommate and my job, for obvious reasons." Now I'm lying to her, too, and it sucks.

"You're working? You shouldn't be working."

"I'm perfectly fine working. If it eases your mind, I don't work as much anymore. Just enough to make sure I don't die of boredom."

"And you don't need anything?" There's concern on her face.

"I swear I'm fine. Better now that you're here." I squeeze her hand. I'm so happy to have her in front of me. "And I'm not going anywhere." Curiosity gets the best of me, and I ask the burning question.

"How is Viktor? What brought you to the baby boutique?"

"One of my friends is having a baby. Viktor is worse than before you came. He's miserable, and he hates Fiona. They're constantly fighting."

"I'm sad to hear that," I murmur, and I mean it. Hearing that Viktor is not doing well kills me. The last thing I want is for him to suffer. I want him to be happy.

"He misses you." She squeezes my hand.

"I miss him every second of the day. But our lives took different paths. There's no point holding onto the past."

"He looked for you." I know this, but I can't allow myself to care.

"He called and texted a few times. I didn't think I should answer. We needed a clean break."

"I don't understand what went wrong. He was willing to publicly recognize Fiona's baby but marry you." I close my eyes. I don't want to talk about this, but I can't ignore it either.

"He said that in a text. We both know he had to marry Fiona. Your uncle demanded it. Not doing so would have cost him highly. I couldn't ask him to risk it all for me. There was a lot at stake."

"How do you know that?" she asks curiously.

"Fiona," I say. Finally admitting that I saw her.

"When did you see her? Does she know about the baby?"

"Yes. Unfortunately, we ran into each other," I confess.

"You mean to tell me she's kept this from Viktor?"

"She told me to stay away from Viktor. She threatened the baby and me."

"That's insane. I fucking hate her. Have you seen her since she threatened you?"

"No, and I'm hoping it stays like that."

"What a bitch."

"It was better this way." I look at my belly and touch it.

"He loves you. You didn't give him a chance to explain everything. There's so much you don't know."

"That might be true. But he married Fiona, and that's all I need to know."

"This is so fucked up."

"Not anymore. He doesn't need to know that I'm pregnant. I need to move on." I stay quiet for a few seconds in the deepest part of me, I know I will never be able to move on. "Now that you do, I need you to swear that you won't tell him." She's quiet. "Tina, if you tell him, I'll have to disappear again." I'm making the same plea I used on Oliver. Hoping that it would work on her like it had with him.

"Don't disappear. I swear I won't tell Viktor. Just let me be here for you. Be an auntie to your baby." She smiles.

"I wouldn't have it any other way."

We spend the next couple of hours talking and shopping for baby stuff. It feels normal, like the old times, spending time with my best friend, finding comfort in her craziness. But it's not normal. I'm hiding from the love of my life and keeping a secret from him. Once she leaves, I'll be lonely again.