Chapter 23

23

On their way up, the elevator screeched with rusted gears. The nerves from her most recent elevator ordeal caused a tightening in her chest, her breaths shallow, and not even the glasses of wine she'd drank could wash the memory away.

The elevator shook, and without thinking, Vega hit the button that read Kitchen.

"Detour," she commented as she stepped through the opening door.

Khort followed with quiet footsteps.

Vega searched through cabinets, shutting them with an echoing slam. "I know you know what I'm looking for. It might be easier if you tell me where it's kept."

Khort's warm laugh heated the air around her, impelling Vega to adjust her attention to him hoisting himself onto the counter. His strong legs dangled off the counter, boots bouncing off the wood with a hollow thud. "Sometimes you have to ask for help."

She scrunched her nose. "No thanks," she said, continuing to rummage on her own.

"Four cabinets to the left, top shelf. "

Vega didn't move, staring at the top shelf he was talking about. "Are you fucking serious?"

"Gotta keep it away from the kids." Vega could hear the smile on his lips without looking back.

"Some of the kids here can fly. Do you think this is stopping them?" Vega swiveled to find Khort hopping off the counter with a playful smile on his face.

"Don't go giving them ideas." Khort's eyes crinkled in suspicion. She could almost see the memories welling behind them.

"Don't give me that look. I bet you weren't innocent either." Vega caught the way his shirt rose as he reached for the top shelf effortlessly. When he only brought one down, her eyes turned to slits.

That look was all Khort needed to burst into a cackle. "Vega! One, you need to slow down on the drinking thing. Arlet commented about your drinking habits on Earth." He closed the cabinet, turning to face her. "And two, we have a pretty important day tomorrow. I'm not letting you wake up with any regrets."

She groaned, rolling her eyes. "One," she emphasized by holding her finger up, "my drinking habits were almost nonexistent until walking in on my husband with his face between another woman's legs." Vega held up a second finger. "And two, let me just remind you that I have had the craziest two weeks of my entire fucking life… lives…?" She paused, wondering how to continue. "Whatever! I deserve to have a fun last night of ignorant bliss." Vega stared him down.

"I didn't know about the husband thing. I'm sorry. We wo—" He paused, placing the bottle on the counter nearby.

"Worry about me, I know. I know. It's just the more I think about all of this, the more I realize this isn't the first time I've felt this way, and I can't imagine what it's going to feel like to remember all of it. I've been warned, but that doesn't prepare me." She was rambling, finally letting her inner thoughts out. "Does it hurt?" she asked. This one was the answer she'd been fearing the most .

"You handle it well." Khort skirted by the truth. Vega knew without a doubt whatever was happening tomorrow would be unlike anything she'd ever felt… or that she could remember.

Vega began to sink into worry, her arms wrapping around her torso as she imagined herself inside of the memories she'd been told.

"Come on." Khort reached out, then grabbed her by the hand and tugged her towards the elevator.

"Can we take the stairs?" She shivered at the thought of getting back into that creaky contraption.

"This is faster. You're not spending your last night sulking about tomorrow's worries or fretting about an elevator I've only been stuck in once." With his free hand, Khort pressed the button for the top floor.

"What do you mean, only been stuck in once, Khort?!" Vega hadn't been outside of her new underwater home since her arrival, but now all she could picture was dying inside the elevator.

"Relax, please." Khort threw his arm around her shoulders and pulled Vega into his side.

"I can't relax. My whole life is a mystery," she said through gritted teeth. The awaiting scent of salty air was enough to snag her out of her funk and force her to block out the squawking of the machine box she was ascending in.

The smell hit her before the shrieking stopped. Vega filled her lungs with the briny air, exhaling with a heavy huff. "How do you stay down here for so long?" she asked as the elevator slowed.

"I don't think about it much anymore."

The door slid open painfully slowly, opening to a round staircase. Vega quickly removed herself from the death trap and looked up, leaning against the beginning of the handrail.

"This is the exit out of here?" Vega asked, looking up, dizzying herself at the height.

Khort started up the stairs and didn't turn while he answered her. "One of them. We wouldn't limit ourselves to a single exit. "

Vega followed him, his long legs taking two stairs at a time. She was nearly wheezing by the time they got to the last step. "I should've exercised more in this life." Khort stopped them at the top of the stairs where a hatch loomed above. Vega caught her breath, annoyed that Khort didn't look fazed by the climb at all.

"We'll keep training."

Vega held up her middle finger while she gasped for breath. "Open the hatch. I need some air."

Khort climbed the small ladder and turned the wheel on the ceiling. It clicked as gears she couldn't see unlocked. He gave the hatch a strong shove, and it heaved open, sucking in fresh air with a howl. Vega followed him up the rungs into the deep night sky.

Khort emerged first, holding the door open for her. When she cleared the opening, she gasped at the landscape surrounding her. A crumbled building wrapped around the entrance they had just appeared through, but beyond that, the land looked like complete waste—like a bomb went off and destroyed everything in its wake. Khort closed the hatch, and in the exact moment the door became flush with the entrance, it disappeared.

Vega's jaw dropped. "Where did it go?"

Khort handed her the bottle. "Open."

This time Vega didn't have to focus so hard to get the air to push the cork out. The pop didn't startle her either. She took a long swig right from the bottle.

"You can thank Arlet for that." Khort kept his eyes on Vega as she marveled at the door no longer there. The walls around them were destroyed, stone sitting on its side, the night sky twinkling overhead with no light pollution.

"She's actively concealing all of this all the time?" Vega asked, turning to face Khort.

"She's strong, but we've been lucky enough to have some people from Littera help out. They've built a few machines that mimic her power and help keep us hidden. When we first built Castra, though a lot smaller back then, it was all her. It was just impossible for her to go to Earth and keep a hold on her powers here," Khort admitted.

This rebellion sacrifices too much for me… "She's fucking incredible," Vega said instead.

"That she is," Khort agreed.

Vega hadn't changed out of the dress, kicking herself now that they were crawling through rubble to get to the open land outside of the abandoned stone home. "You could've warned me that I'd be trudging through an old war zone," Vega mumbled.

Castra was nestled deep under the sea, but this hidden exit tunneled through the core of the crumbled remains of what was once Imber.

Now, there was nothing left of the buildings or their people. All that lay present to the eye was a ruined territory destroyed for standing against Marlena.

Khort laughed gently, standing in the clearing as Vega slid down the last pile of rubble. "You've done worse in a dress. Stop complaining." He looked up at the night sky as the wind blew tendrils of his blond hair around his face.

Once beside him, Vega groaned, pulling the skirt of her dress up above her knees to avoid the mud. The land around them reminded her of pictures she'd seen of Ireland with jagged cliffs and homes that once resembled castles. "Not this body."

Khort reached out and grabbed the bottle of wine, then took his own sip. "Don't be so hard on yourself. You've been through a lot."

The reminder sat heavy on her chest. "I've had enough time to figure it out. You said so yourself. I don't need to be babied. It's time to shit or get off the pot."

The serious air hanging over them shattered as Khort's laugh bellowed from deep inside his chest. The wine in his mouth sprayed onto Vega, covering her hands, chest, and exposed leg. "Oh my gods," he said between laughs. "I'm so sorry." He wiped his mouth on his arm before reaching out for Vega .

Her mouth was open wide, a smile still pulling at her lips as she began to laugh freely like Khort was.

This might be the last time I get a laugh like this.

"Khort!" she whined, drawing out his name while shaking her leg to clean off the red wine sprinkling her body.

"Shit or get off the pot?" He still laughed, holding her by the arms as they both continued to cackle like a couple of drunk friends at a bar. "Do people really say that on Earth? That's awful."

Vega nodded as he pulled away from her, wiping at the stubble on his face. "The convenience store owner down the street from my place loved using it when his customers were taking too long. He was a delight." It felt odd reminiscing about Gregor, a man who used to seem so evil before she knew what evil actually looked like.

"I hate that one," Khort replied as he started to settle down. The smile on his face gave Vega butterflies. She looked away, using the dress as a napkin to wipe whatever she could off her bare skin.

"There's plenty more where that came from," she promised, wiggling her eyebrows.

"Great." He chuckled, rolling his eyes snarkily.

Vega snatched the wine from him and stepped back, leaning against the rubble she'd just climbed. She pointed to the open landscape. "Show me what you've got, dragon boy." She took a swig from the bottle, a dark eyebrow raised.

"Pushy," he said, beginning to unbutton his white shirt. "And it's dragon man to you."

Vega's eyes wandered to his chest as he stripped. His muscles rippled with his movements, and Vega couldn't keep her eyes off the pulsing veins running down his forearms.

Khort caught her watching him. "This isn't shifting material." The shirt fluttered to the ground, but Vega's eyes hadn't moved from Khort. She cleared her throat, her gaze dropping low before it shot to meet his. His lips spread in a smug smile.

"And the pants?" Her mouth went dry as she asked .

Get it together, Vega.

Khort stretched his arms over his head, swinging his arms in a couple of big circles. "Those are shifting material, but I can take them off if you want." His fingers hovered over the button.

Vega's cheeks burned, and she hoped she was far enough away he couldn't see the way they flushed. "What would old Vega say about that?" Her eyes settled on his with heavy focus as she forced herself to push any thoughts away that would get her in trouble.

I'm just drunk. That's all. No big deal.

"She would've hit me," he said with a goofy grin, his hands moving away from the button to keep his pants hanging from his hips.

"Good to know. Better keep those on then." She held up her fist and wiggled it as a warning.

"Terrifying," he cooed.

"Enough stalling. Show me what you've got."

"You run your mouth a lot for someone about to be in the presence of a dragon." And before Vega could respond with some new sarcastic comeback, black wings shot out from his back, and the rest of his body followed suit.

He morphed so quickly, Vega didn't have time to see his bones shift as they grew to new lengths and sizes. The sound of whooshing wings masked the sound of cracking bones.

Vega's hand gripped the bottle, the other digging into the stone behind her as Khort's new face landed inches from hers. She took a gulp of air, catching her breath in a lump.

Standing before her was no longer the handsome blond without a shirt. Replacing his figure was a black dragon, scales twinkling an iridescent green the color of his eyes. Vega didn't budge, waiting for Khort to make the first move.

He turned his head for her to see directly into one of his eyes—they remained the same shade of green as in his human form. Vega filled her lungs with air, propping the bottle of wine against the dismantled wall, and took a few steps closer to Khort— to a fucking dragon.

"Holy shit." She breathed, reaching her hand out to run across his scales. They didn't feel snake-like as Vega imagined. They were rough, pointed, and sharp in areas if she pushed with too much pressure. He huffed, smoke puffing through his nostrils. "Can you hear me in there?" she asked. He nodded his large head up, then down smoothly. Khort's legs were folded underneath him, keeping himself low to the ground, but Vega didn't even reach his shoulder.

The fairy tales she'd grown up reading and watching spoke of a dragon's size, but never had she imagined she'd stand next to one. She began to walk around him, his head moving in a serpentine motion as he followed her movements.

Khort stood with his claws digging into the ground beneath him. He stretched his wings from behind his back and took off into the sky. The wind off of his wings sent Vega's hair flying behind her, and she gasped, watching him soar. The way his large figure moved so effortlessly took her breath away. She could see his inhale just before fire poured from his mouth and lit up the night. Vega couldn't take her eyes off him catching wind and disappearing behind clouds.

It could have been minutes or hours. Vega lost track of time as she stared up at Khort with eyes widened in wonder. She didn't move until his back legs touched the hard ground first and his wings tucked into his back. The beast stalked up to Vega, nose to nose with her again.

She reached her hand out, and as her palm landed on Khort's scales, he shifted back before her eyes. The wings seemed to retract into his back as the rest of his body shifted like a breath of air. The only bit of dragon left was the smoke exiting his nostrils as they shaped back into his button nose, and Khort returned to the man he was before.

Her hand rested on his cheek, a gleam of awe still fluttering behind her eyes. "Thank you," she whispered, worried she might ruin the moment by speaking too loudly.

Khort smiled, reaching up to place his hand over hers. "You'll come to find that I would do just about anything for you," he said, his voice matching her volume. He pulled her hand to his lips, nuzzling a kiss into her palm—his lips were still warm from his fire. Khort turned her hand around, placing his lips over the brand they shared. He lingered there before letting her go. Their eyes stayed trapped on each other. "Let's get you to bed." Khort went to move, but Vega grabbed his bicep as he tried to walk by.

"Can we stay out here a little longer? Please. I'm not ready to go back under," Vega admitted. The people of Castra might be used to the claustrophobic feel of their home, but Vega wasn't. The night air filled her lungs like a drug, begging her to stay with it.

"Sure." Khort turned towards her. "But we can't stay long. You're the most wanted woman in all of Tolevarre."

Vega grabbed the bottle of wine and handed it to Khort, who was walking back to her after grabbing his shirt. And she was pleasantly surprised with the fact Khort's pants were, in fact, shifting material, and had stayed in place.

"When did you shift for the first time?" Vega asked, distracting herself from the thoughts of his naked body. It's the wine.

"I was thirteen," Khort told her, taking a hefty sip of the wine.

Vega sat down in the lush grass, leaning back on her arms to look up at the stars as Khort sat down beside her. She was buzzing from the wine and adrenaline.

"You were there," Khort said, his smile reminiscent of the memory.

Vega glanced over at him, taking in the way the moonlight seemed to glow off of his light hair. He tipped the bottle of wine to his lips and finished it off, then tossed it to the side for them to retrieve later. She waited for him to continue.

"My sister had been shifting for a year. She was seven years younger than me, and I was so scared that her getting the dragon gene meant I wouldn't."

Was.

Everyone had lost someone they loved.

"I was so mad she beat me to it, that a six-year-old, which is so young to shift for the first time, by the way, was learning to perfect her ability while I sat around hoping to fly one day too." His gaze was straightforward as he continued to recall the memory. "Dad was a phoenix shifter. Mom came from the dragons. There wasn't a lot of either left, and it wasn't guaranteed that I would get either of their forms. It happens sometimes—a kid won't get their parents' powers. I wasn't showing any signs, and Mom and Dad were starting to whisper that maybe I wouldn't be the powerful one. That maybe Delori would take my parents' seat instead."

As he spoke, Vega could see the anger he tried to hide.

"And whatever, it wasn't the power I was after. I think I just wanted to be the strong older brother, ya know? To be able to protect Delori from the ugly in our world. Being weak back then, hell, even now, isn't something that plays out well." Khort glanced at Vega before continuing. She reached out and laid her hand over his to urge him on. "You and I were playing in the woods behind my home. It happened so quickly. I complained of a burning sensation in my gut, which was brushed off as indigestion." He snickered. "I almost burned the woods down in my backyard when I shifted. It's not a pleasant feeling the first time you shift, so as soon as it began, I screamed… and what came out of my mouth? Fire." He shook his head, meeting her eyes. "You clapped the entire time, only excited that I finally came into my form. You didn't shut up about it for weeks."

Vega laughed. "Baby Vega, your biggest fan."

They sat outside for longer than they should have, enjoying the night air and each other's company. The silence wasn't awkward— Vega welcomed the feel of the leaves rustling in the distance and the sound of the water crashing against the cliffs.

The back of Vega's head rested in her linked hands, face turned towards the moon, eyes closed like she was soaking in the beams.

"Vega?"

"Hmm?" she hummed, opening her eyes and turning her head to face Khort, whose eyes met with hers.

"I want you to know, even before you get your memories back, that I love you. I don't think that's ever been much of a secret." He wet his lips, and Vega's eyes focused on the movement. "You're my best friend and the girl that got away, yes, but that doesn't change anything for me. I will fight with you, for you… always."

The words didn't startle her, only made her sad she couldn't return those sentiments—at least not right now. "Have you tried fighting for yourself yet?" Her question came out before her brain could process it, catching her by surprise.

"Fighting for you is fighting for me. You're the key to the end of this," Khort said.

Vega frowned. "That's a lot of pressure to put on one person." Her voice was quiet as she took in the magnitude of what he'd said. Khort didn't say anything in return, just turned his head to look back up at the sky. Vega sat up, staring at her hands. "What if I can't stop her? What if all of this is for nothing and Marlena wins anyway?" The what-ifs could be never-ending.

"Then we all die." Khort's answer was curt.

Vega swallowed the lump in her throat. "Did you have to say it like that?" she asked. The laugh that slipped through her lips was dry, nerves jumping to the surface.

"There's no sense in hiding the truth from you, Vega. If we lose, we die. That's it." Khort sat up too, resting his arms on his knees. "It might be the easy way out, but you've never been a quitter. Er, well, in a couple lives you were, but that wasn't your fault. That was what those lives had dealt you. This Vega…" He reached out and put his hand on her chest, over her heart. "This one isn't a quitter."

"Okay, so you're not the sugar coater… Noted." She gave a single nod but smiled faintly at the words he said. This Vega can do hard things. She has done hard things. I will not let these people down—they've given too much for me.

"I used to be, but a lot has happened since then." Khort stood up and held his hand out to her. Vega took it, letting him help her off the dewy grass.

"What happened to Delori?" Vega asked as they climbed back over the rubble.

Khort paused for the briefest of seconds, reaching down to open the hatch to Castra even though it wasn't visible to the naked eye. "She got stuck in Demuto by a curse Marlena put on the territory for siding with the rebels. Del had gone back to get people out, but it was too late. The curse on Demuto locked the shifters inside the borders, and eventually, without contact to the outside world, they started going mad, losing themselves inside their beast and animal forms. After a while, Delori was one of them, and it must have become too much for her because she took her own life."

He let Vega climb down first—she was careful not to lose her footing on the metal ladder. Khort shut the hatch and locked it with a loud scrape against metal.

"I'm sorry I asked," Vega whispered, horror nipping at the edges of her emotions. How many more had to die because Marlena wanted revenge on her sister?

Khort reached out and brushed Vega's cheek. "It's okay." His lips dipped in a frown, and he dropped his hand to his side. "She loved you and Arlet. Always trying to weasel her way into whatever it was the three of us were doing so she could hang out with the two of you."

The halls back to her room were quiet, most people tucking themselves into bed hours ago when the main lights went out for the night. Vega had no idea what time it was, nor did time have much meaning to her these days.

Vega put her back to the door and smiled at Khort. Her voice was low when she spoke. "Thanks again."

"Next time, when there's no wine involved, I'll give you a ride. You used to love that when we were young."

Vega's cheeks grew pink as her mind went to a place it shouldn't. Bad Vega!

Khort's eyes grew wide. "Not like th?—"

Vega laughed softly, reaching out to touch his forearm. "I know. I just…" She paused, biting her lip. "You were my type in this life, so I'm trying to push that away and not ruin whatever it is you and I have."

"Blonds? No way." His smile was soft. "That's not very Vega-like."

She nodded. "Oh yeah, blonds." She wiggled playfully. "My husband… ex-husband…" She tripped over the words, because what was he now that she was an entire realm away? "Was a blond. He didn't look half as good as you with a man-bun though."

What are you doing?

Vega didn't have memories of what their relationship was like in her other lives, but she could tell that he wasn't used to her seeing him in any other way than her friend.

"Noted" was all he said as Vega's hand fell off his arm. "Goodnight, Vega."

Vega's lips were pursed together in a tight line. "Night, Khort."

He turned on his heels to walk away from her, and Vega knew she should go inside her room and go to bed… but she didn't.

"Khort." Her voice was barely a whisper, but he heard her. He spun around too quickly, locking eyes with her immediately. "Tell me I'm crazy and that you don't want to kiss me."

The wine. It had to be the wine or maybe she was still so lonely that the craving was overriding the little voice in the back of her head telling her to stop. She'd come all this way in hopes she would instantly feel at home, and while she felt welcomed here, Vega still didn't feel whole yet.

Getting her memories back would help. They had to.

Vega knew he was going to lie by the inferno burning behind his eyes. "I don't want to kiss you," he muttered, half choking out the words.

Before she could stop herself, she closed the distance between them in seconds. Khort didn't move away, push her off, or tell her any more lies. As soon as her arms slid up to his shoulders and locked behind his neck, he hoisted her up with ease and their lips met for what Vega knew was the first time.

His hands grazed her body delicately, like if he moved too fast, she might come to her senses and stop. The kiss started slowly, allowing them both time to get to know each other's movements. Khort backed them up into Vega's door, one hand turning the handle to move them inside.

Smart. They didn't need prying eyes catching them in the middle of what surely would be a mistake. Vega was good at mistakes in this life—she kept racking them up like a punch card with a free coffee after ten stamps.

The door closed, and they didn't pull away from each other. Vega opened her mouth, letting Khort's tongue slip inside and consume her. He tasted like a campfire—warm and smoky.

She was lost in the moment, completely unaware of the little pull in her mind that was telling her to stop, over and over and over again. Wasn't it too late? If she stopped now, she couldn't take it back anyway. She missed the touch of another human, the way it felt to be wanted.

She wiggled her way out of his arms and slid down his body, never once allowing their lips to part. Her hunger for his touch only grew as a groan slipped through his lips and vibrated against hers. Vega could feel his want, his hunger matching her own. He took a large step back, sitting himself down on the squeaky bed. Vega climbed into his lap, straddling him. The long dress hiked up to her hips, cinching around her waist and exposing the sheer underwear she wore.

As Khort's hands slid up her thighs, she finally broke their kiss, throwing her head back. Her hair fell over her shoulder. She could feel his erection underneath, pressing into her center. Vega rolled her hips, grinding against him. That evoked another deep growl from Khort, sounding like the rumble of a dragon.

"Vega." Khort's voice was full of gravel, kissing her neck as his hand slid up to the back of her head. He forced her face close to his. "We can't." The words stopped her hips, her body begging for more of the friction between her thighs.

She breathed heavily, letting his words settle in. "Why?" she asked, still lost in the moment.

"Because this means something more to me than it does to you."

Vega hauled herself off of his lap, all of the blood rushing to her head and causing her to go cold. The hem of her dress fell, pooling around her feet. "Fuck, Khort. I'm sorry. You're right." She ran a hand through her hair, pushing it away from her face while she looked at him, wide-eyed, from across the cramped room. "I'm so sorry. I don't know what I was thinking. I just wanted to feel something." She let her hair fall back into place. "I got lost in the night. I-I wasn't thinking."

"It's okay." He stood up and took a few steps, closing the distance as he grabbed her face in his hands. "Don't be sorry. I just know who you are when you're not lost in that pretty head of yours, and this isn't what you would want."

Vega nodded. "But it's what I want right now." Her icy gaze held him. "And just because I can't remember our past doesn't mean I haven't been thinking about kissing you all week."

Khort ran his hand over his face and started to pace the room. "Gods, Vega. I want to. Believe me, I've wanted this—us. Fuck. We can't do this. Not right now." He stopped pacing in front of the door, hand resting on the doorknob. "Get some sleep. I'll see you in the morning." He twisted the handle and slipped out, shutting the door behind him.

Vega stared after him, the small clock on her bedside table ticking on the second. The realization of what she'd just done was setting in, churning her stomach. This time it wasn't the wine causing her to feel like she would upend the contents.

Vega slumped onto her bed, putting her head in her hands. "Fuck, Vega. Fuck, fuck, fuck." She cursed at herself, her chest tightening with an overwhelming sadness. Vega, in this life and every other, was a glutton for punishment. God, if for once in your life you could just get it together!

How long would it take for the people she loved here to give up on her too? It happened on Earth. Why wouldn't it begin to happen here?

So much for not letting me wake up with any regrets.