Chapter 5

five

Rose

I can’t wipe the smile off my face as I walk into my home, my father following, even with the consent dizzy spells throughout the day, my smile doesn’t stop.

Today couldn’t have gone any better….

“Alright, my Little Rose. Why don’t you go put your diploma on the table, and we’ll head out for our reservations.” Dad says, and I nod, still smiling.

“Do you think he was shocked?” I ask, walking around the cream-colored couch, and Dad laughs.

“Shocked wasn’t the word, sweetheart. He thought you weren’t coming at one point,” he confirms, and I grin, looking his way. He continues, “And just wait until he sees that Duke you’ve been hiding in the garage.”

I snort as I put the paper down, not at all surprised Dad noticed despite him hardly going into the garage.

Noah has always wanted a motorcycle but wanted to wait until he’d made it. I thought if I saved, then maybe, just maybe, I could get him a cheap one as a graduation gift. This amazing man was selling his KTM 250 Duke for only $1200, needing the money for his disabled four-year-old daughter.

After meeting her, I gave him another $200, which made him a little emotional.

Shrugging, I say, “I’ve been saving like mad since I was fourteen, and he deserves it.”

Dad nods with a small smile.

He hoped this would happen when he kept his promise to Mom. He wanted his kids to not be spoiled but to learn to be grateful, and to put others first.

Noah deserves the world, as far as I’m concerned, and I still have plenty of savings, especially with the scholarship I’ve been offered for my online schooling to study marine biology and animal behavior before going onto fieldwork, where I’ll have to work within the marine industry to establish different kinds of mammal behaviors.

I love the ocean, and I am intrigued by dolphins, whales, seals. My goal is to work within the data industry, which means pursuing my PhD, which will take at least six years. After that, I’m hoping to become a mammal trainer, once I know everything about them, which means pursuing my SCUBA certificate, and ensuring I can swim well.

The scholarship will help, but it won’t pay for everything. This is where my dad comes in, offering to help, which I have taken him up on.

Shaking my head at my father’s goofy look, I move around the couch, ready for some food, tbecause I’m pretty sure that’s why I felt lightheaded and sick all day, when suddenly dizziness hits me again but this time everything blurs, nausea pulling at me.

I quickly grab the back of the couch, trying to breathe through the sickness, and squeeze my eyes tight as the room begins to spin.

“Rose!” I hear my father panic, and everything goes black.

“Are you sure?” I hear my father rasp, and I slowly open my eyes.

I hear beeping and look down to see a finger monitor on, and swallow hard before looking around, and instantly, I know I’m in the ER.

“The blood tests came back positive. We can do a transvaginal ultrasound, but….” A strange voice tries to explain but Dad cuts him off and demands, “Then do it right now!”

I squeeze my eyes tight as dizziness hits, and the doctor stutters, “I-I, I’m sorry, sir, but we can’t until she-she wakes….”

I clear my throat. “Dad?”

He comes into view as I gently sit up, his light green eyes looking a little wild and full of concern.

“How are you feeling, Rose?” he asks with a calmness that doesn’t match his expression. I can see his body vibrating from here.

I frown when I notice a doctor sweating a little, and say, “I feel dizzy and sick.”

The doctor steps forward, his white hair neatly brushed back, his light blue eyes looking at me with sympathy.

My heart races with concern until he says, “That’s to be expected. Rose, you are pregnant.” My eyes widen in shock because surely it can’t be possible; we’ve been using protection. He gives me a small smile. “By the hCG levels in your blood test, you're roughly three weeks. We can do a transvaginal ultrasound, where we place a wand inside you to get a good look on the baby. It’ll tell us exactly how far you are, but there won’t be a heartbeat yet.”

My father butts in, “What about an abortion? There’s a pill she can take, right?”

I flinch at the coldness in his words.

Abortion.

I’ve only just woke up from passing out, and instead of giving me a minute to process the fact I’m pregnant, despite being careful, he’s straight away bringing up abortions.

The doctor’s eyes widen before he clears his throat and states, “A termination is doable at this stage with it being early, but it would require coming back in for a full workup before we could give her the mifepristone.”

My father nods. “Okay, do that then, please, book the appointment. There’s a history of preeclampsia in the family; I won’t lose my daughter.”

Shivers run down my spine at his words.

Instead of speaking to me, both men start discussing appointment dates right before me without even looking my way.

Abortion, he’s expecting me to abort my baby, Jesus! He’s booking the appointment right now without even consulting me, like I’m not even in the room.

“Rose, let’s get going. The doctor will make your appointment tomorrow for next week,” my dad snaps, not making eye contact with me, but I can’t even make myself feel ashamed.

This is my body, and I gave it to the man I love, and despite using protection, I got pregnant.

Everything happens for a reason, right?

Doing as my father says, I gently climb out of bed, breathing through the sickness, and walk toward the curtain only one word floating in my head.

Abortion….

It takes us an hour before we get home, and not once does my father speak to me or even look at me.

It was the most painful and uncomfortable car ride of my life.

Dad doesn’t speak as he pulls up outside our home before getting out and slamming the door. Sighing, I unbuckle and get out, following him up the steps.

“I’ll be in my office, Rose,” he says as we walk through the door, “I need to rearrange my meetings next week; the doctor said once you take the pill, you’ll feel like you’re having a rough period but may need someone here with you. Call Noah and tell him I’ve surprised you with a getaway for the week. He doesn’t need to know about this. He’s getting ready to tour and hoping to get signed, and we both know he wants you with him. You don’t need a baby right now, especially at seven-fucking-teen.”

He doesn’t stop walking as he speaks before slamming his office door, and my tears fall.

This is my body, my baby, and yet he won’t even give me a chance….

Sniffling, I gently press my hand to my belly, contemplating the hardest decision I’ll ever make.

He’s my father, and I love him so much, but right now, he’s not only judging me despite mom being my age when she fell pregnant with Al, he’s arranging a termination on my behalf without even consulting with me.

He’s just disrespected me, using his wealth to get his own way.

With a deep breath, I head up the curved staircase, my heels clicking against the marble steps. I ignore all the pictures on the wall, and open the door to my room.

I look around the light pink room that’s been mine all my life, before going to my small closet. After changing into some sweats and putting Noah’s hoodie on over my T-shirt, I grab the largest duffel bag I own and grab all my clothes, ensuring I don’t miss any. Then, I go to my dresser, making sure to get all the things Noah bought me, including the dried rose from our first anniversary.

I grab the trinket box my mom left for me, and wrap it in Noah’s black button-down shirt, the one he wore at prom. I place it in the bag with the two stuffies he also bought me, before grabbing all the photos of us on my pin board, including the photo frames on my dresser. Then, I grab my purse and the second-hand laptop I bought last year.

It doesn’t take me long to ensure I have everything I need, and I triple-check around the room, before grabbing my duffel bag.

I look around one last time, my heart breaking, before shutting the door and slowly walking down the stairs. I notice my diploma on the glass table in front of the couch and quickly grab it, putting it in my bag, and then go to the garage. Carefully, I strap it to the back of Noah’s black and dark blue bike, and as quietly as I can, I roll it out of the garage, kicking the standout when I’m near my father’s car.

I pause for a couple of seconds, trying to breathe through the nausea that’s just hit, along with the panic. I take a deep breath, then turn and head back into the house and toward my father’s office. With shaking hands, I knock on the dark brown door and wait.

After a few minutes, I debate knocking again, but as soon as I lift my hand, he snaps, "Come in.”

With a lump in my throat, I turn the doorknob and open the door, but I don’t enter his room, I stay just out of it, looking at him.

He’s sitting in his chair, his arms crossed.

“Have you spoken to Noah?” he asks coldly.

Hurt shoots through me and I rasp, “No, Daddy, I haven’t,” he flinches at my term, and I whisper, giving him my hurt, “I love you, Daddy, so much, but you’ve disappointed me.” My tears fall, and a crack in his fa?ade appears. “You just railroaded over my life without giving me a second to process what I was told after I woke in the ER, confused and scared.”

He flinches. “I, Rose, you're seventeen….”

I nod. “I know, and we used protection." He flinches again but I push through. “We did, Daddy, but fate had other ideas. Mom was seventeen, too, with Al….”

His throat bobs. “She was, and I lost her, Rose.”

I nod. “I know, but not because of Al, but because of me.” He squeezes his eyes tight. “I know why you’re acting this way, but this baby, it’s my decision, it’s Noah’s, not yours. You had no right to use your wealth and power the way you did in that hospital.”

He shakes his head. “I’m doing this for you, Rose, and if you don’t abort, it’ll ruin your relationship, and I-I can’t watch my daughter die. I’ll cut you off, Rose, if you go through with this. No college funds, no home; you’ll have nothing.”

I see the pain flowing off him. He hates giving me this ultimatum, but his trauma at losing my mother, who I’m a spitting image of, is clouding him, and this is something he’s going to regret for the rest of his life.

Yes, Mom died of preeclampsia, but it’s unknown whether it's hereditary, it’s not been confirmed. He shouldn’t be taking his fears out on me because now, he’s fractured our relationship more.

Sniffling, I slowly walk over to him, rounding his oak desk. I gently kiss his head and whisper, “I love you, Daddy,” before turning and walking away without looking back.

I hear loud bangs as I walk out the front door, and I let out a sob but don’t stop moving. Instead, I climb on the bike I bought Noah and start revving it. I'm a little glad I know how to drive it right about now, otherwise I would be stuck.

With a deep breath, I spin out of the drive, hoping I don’t fall.

It doesn’t take me long before I pull up in front of Noah’s trailer.

I know my hair is a mess, mascara is most likely dried on my cheeks, and he was supposed to pick me up in thirty minutes, but right now, I need him.

I need him to tell me it will be okay, and whatever we decide, we’ll get through it together.

I need his strength right now because mine is fading quickly.

Wiping my tears, I climb off the bike as the door opens. Gina stands on the top step, wearing basically underwear, curling her lip at me.

“You might as well turn and leave,” she sneers.

I flinch internally, hating that she’s allowed Piper to get in her head and rasp, “I need to see Noah….”

She smirks. “You're too late. By at least an hour and a half. He’s gone.”

I frown. “Gone where?”

Absolute glee bursts from her, and my heart starts to thump, my stomach pulling.

“He left for LA with his band and Piper. He got signed and decided she was better for his life than you,” she crows.

Like hell!

I shake my head. “I don’t believe you; he’d never leave me behind, and your jealous bitterness is getting old, Gina.”

She curls her lip at me as she takes her phone out of her shorts, does something on it, and then turns it to face me.

Noah is staring off into his bedroom wall, a bag packed on his bed, with Piper hugging him, his arm over her shoulder.

I don’t say anything, and she just grins. "Like I said, you’re not wanted, so go back to your rich daddy, and leave my brother alone.”

With that said, she goes inside, slamming the door.

My eyes go to the bike, my mind going a million miles an hour.

I don’t believe it, the picture. I know Noah, I know us. He’d never hurt me that way.

God, he has my initial tattooed on his arm!

I grab my phone and quickly bring up his number. The goofy picture of him sticking his tongue out at me fills my screen.

I smile a little and press call.

“The number you have dialed is no longer available…” an automated voice says, causing me to freeze and, for a split second, I believe Gina—only a split one, but I shake my head.

There must be some explanation; there has to be….

Surely he wouldn’t leave me, not after I gave him all of me.

Just as I think of trying Barnett, the door opens again, and Tamera, Noah’s mom, fills the doorway.

Her light blue eyes assess me, looking from my phone to the tear-stained cheeks, and then to the bike I’m standing next to.

“He always wanted one of those,” she croaks.

I nod and whisper, “I got it him as a surprise….”

She swallows hard. “He thinks you cheated on him with an older man. He, uh, he got a record deal and left Rose, not with Piper, though, but he did go.”

He thinks I cheated, and he left instead of confronting me?

He left….

“He said he loved me,” I rasp, tears falling fast and hard. Tamera rushes down the rickety steps and quickly grabs hold of me, hugging me to her as sobs rack my body.

“He does love you, Rose; he’s just confused and hurt,” she tries to soothe me.

I shake my head and pull back, wiping my cheeks, then lift my phone. “He blocked my number. He didn’t even ask me. He believed whatever Gina and Piper showed him. I’m guessing it was a picture of the single dad who hugged me after I gave him more for the bike than he was asking because his disabled daughter needed emergency surgery.” Tamera’s tears fall and I shake my head. “I know he’s your son, but he’s just broken my heart. He wouldn't have run if he loved me, but he did.” I look at the bike. “I-I need to go. My father, he-he kicked me out, I-I, oh God, I'm pregnant, and I-I need to figure out what to do with my life….”

Tamera gaps and opens her mouth, but I kiss her cheek before climbing on the bike, unwilling to hear what she has to say.

Without looking at her, I start the bike, then spin out of Tamera’s driveway, not knowing where I’m going or what I’m going to do.

It’s about an hour out of town when I’m on the freeway that my reality hits me, and pain like no other fills me. It’s also then I wish I had bought a reliable car instead of this bike for a bad boy who clearly didn’t love me.

I need to figure my life out. I need to see if I can be a teenage mom, and if I can give this baby the life it deserves with the small savings I have left. And I hope I can do it all with a heart so torn up that even breathing kills….