Chapter 15

fifteen

Rose – Four Days Later

I smile as Diego grabs hold of my necklace, grinning. I bounce him on my knee, keeping my whole focus on him, determined to ignore the person sitting next to me.

I can’t believe my baby is going to be one in three days; it just seems so surreal….

I feel like time is speeding up, and I hate it.

“Hey buddy, no breaking Momma’s necklace, Daddy bought that for her,” Noah says from beside me, making me tense before he leans over and lifts our son from underneath his armpits.

I watch as he places Diego in his lap, grinning from ear to ear, and I'm not too happy at how my stomach flips at the sight of them together.

Diego squeals with delight, cheering, “Da-da-da-da,” and grabs hold of Noah’s chain instead, the one I bought, making my stomach flip yet again because he still wears it.

Noah chuckles and looks my way, and we make eye contact, but I quickly look away, making him sigh before he gives his whole attention to our son.

“Dadadada,” Diego giggles again, and I roll my eyes at the little traitor. I got home from work yesterday, and Noah had taught him to say “dada,” and now that's all he likes to say.

I like it, even if I pretend not to. This is something I wanted for so long. I just didn’t expect my love for Noah to be there still, and stronger, if anything.

I need to control my emotions and my feelings. If he could walk away after four years, then he could do it again.

He could hurt me over and over, and I won’t take that, I deserve better.

Noah laughs, and I look over to see Diego trying to grab Noah’s tongue bar each time he sticks his tongue out. I can’t help but smile a little before looking away again.

I kept to my word; I’ve allowed Noah to have access to Diego because he’s his dad. For the past four days, he’s been at my apartment with our son, building a bond, while I worked. I did make it clear that Van, Al, Gina, and Piper are not to be anywhere near him, and Noah agreed. I also told him that if he leaves for a tour, and forgets about being a father, then I’ll request full custody.

Noah didn’t like it, but he understood.

Don’t go making yourself well known in my child’s life just to leave and become a once-a-month dad. I won’t have it. I told him just as much, and he did a good job of keeping quiet until I said that whatever girl he was seeing was not to go near our son until it was serious.

His face went so red, I thought steam would start coming from his ears.

“You still mad at me?” I ask, looking out the far window of the plane.

We’re on our way to Kingstonville, and I must admit that flying in Noah’s private jet is a lot easier than driving, or catching the bus or train.

It’s not something I wanted to do; I was dead set on not going back to my father’s home, but when I got home from the diner last night, Noah was waiting for me with Diego already in bed, hands in his pockets, rocking on his feet.

He said he was taking me and Diego somewhere, and to pack a bag, when I refused, he just shrugged and said I either pack a bag myself or he’ll pack one, then throw me over his shoulder. Still, I dug my heels in until he said my father was hurting, that he wanted to throw his grandson his first birthday party so that he didn’t hate him when he was older, and found out he wanted him aborted.

Even after everything my dad did, I couldn’t say no.

“Depends, Petal,” I tense at his nickname, but he ignores it and asks, “Are you still saying I can't allow a woman I’m seeing near my son?”

I scoff. Of course, that’s how he took it.

I look his way to see his eyes already on me, his pierced brow raised, and I snap, “I never said your girlfriend couldn’t go near our son, Noah, I said you need to be sure it’s serious before introducing them, because I won’t have him confused!”

He smirks. “Yeah, last I checked, your cook has most likely met him, so how is that different?”

I furrow my brows, trying to think of when Frank had any contact with Diego; I mean, I’ve never taken him to the diner, and only Natalie has met him, so I don’t….

My thoughts trail off with the realization that Frank hasn’t been in all week, and I snort.

Peter….

“What’s so funny, Rose?” Noah asks with a bit of a bite, and I grin.

I tilt my head his way. “Oh nothing, just the big bad rockstar being jealous. Who knew, considering you ran like your butt was on fire two years ago?” His jaw flexes, and I just smile sarcastically and admit, “Peter is a friend and has actually never met Diego. Does he have feelings for me? Yeah, he does, but it’s not reciprocated, and he knows it. If and when I decide to date again, the man in my life will not be meeting Diego until he pops the question.”

With that said, I turn to look out the window again, ignoring the anger in Noah’s dark blue eyes.

He has no right to be mad. I didn’t leave him, he left me, and it’s not lost on me that he didn’t deny having a girlfriend.

He doesn’t speak, and I don’t speak to him, we instead listen to Diego’s babbles which soothe me. Slowly, I close my eyes, knowing we still have about twenty minutes before we land, but they soon fling open when Diego murmurs, “Ma-ma-ma,” with a cry I know so well, and it hits me?—

“Ah crap…” I groan, dropping my head.

“What, what is it?” Noah asks with concern as Diego starts to cry louder.

Sighing, I turn to Noah to see his eyes panicked, and I take our son, and say, “I forgot to get the bottles out of the fridge.”

Noah relaxes as I lay Diego in my arms, his hands instantly going to my flowy blue top.

“Thank God, I thought I did something wrong. I’ll have the attendant bring him some milk,” Noah says as he grabs his phone.

I shake my head, forgetting he already had the bottles made for him when I went to work, so he isn’t aware. I say, “He doesn’t have normal milk, Noah," as I lift my top a little, using it as a blanket as I place it over Diego, and unclip my bra.

Diego latches on instantly, making me wince slightly as Noah begins to say, “What do you mean he doesn’t….”

His words trail off, and I look at him to see his mouth open a little bit, his eyes on our covered son.

I raise my brow, waiting him out, but when he doesn’t say anything, I say with quite a lot of bitterness, “When your family cuts you off, and the boy you thought you were going to spend the rest of your life with runs away, you have to improvise.” He looks at me, and I state, “I couldn’t afford formula, so the nurses helped me learn how to nurse him, and gave me a hand pump.”

Noah swallows hard, his eyes going back to Diego before he stutters, “He…uh, I mean, you, uh…I mean, the bottles I was giving him were…um, uh….”

I frown at his weird behavior, and confirm, “Were my breastmilk? Yes, why?” His face pales a little, and my frown deepens, and then it clicks.

Laughter bubbles in my throat, and he glares at me. “Don’t even think about it, Rose, it’s not fucking funny.”

Laughter spills out, and I can’t even bring myself to scold him for swearing because, oh God, he drank my breastmilk….

He shakes his head and mutters, “Fuck…I thought it tasted a little weird.”

I bite my bottom lip to stop my laughter, knowing Diego is trying to nurse, but my body still lightly shakes, and Noah groans, knowing he’s never going to live this down.

Diego detaches, and carefully, I lift him from under my top, and hand him over to Noah, who takes him instantly and mutters, “Little traitor, you could have told me….”

I laugh again, louder this time, as I clip my bra back together, and Noah looks at me, smirking and shaking his head.

“To answer your question from earlier, I wasn’t mad at you, Rose, because I understood, but now I am. You could have warned a guy,” he says as Diego lets out a burp.

I laugh again, leaning over a little because, yeah, that has got to be one of the best revenges, especially when I know how bitter breastmilk tastes.

After I calm down, I rasp, “If it helps, I drank a quarter of the bottle early one morning, forgetting he was already latched on.” His eyes widen, and I shrug. “I was really tired, not long given birth, and had gone back to work.”

Something flashes in his eyes, something that looks like agony, but I ignore it and look at a happy Diego instead.

I can’t comfort Noah and tell him it’s okay, because it isn’t. He left me on my own.

Not long later, the plane finally touches down and I sigh with relief, happy that Diego was okay for his first ride.

“Has he been on a plane before? I forgot to ask because, I gotta tell you, Petal, he did awesome,” Noah says as we stand.

I manage to hold in the flinch at the nickname and admit, “No, he hasn’t. When Dad picked us up, it was by car, and after seeing you, Al, and Vanessa, we caught the train back home.”

He clears his throat and says, “Kingstonville is your home, Petal….”

I go to refute his words, but he shocks me when he kisses my forehead, and grabs the strap of my bag, putting it on his own shoulder, before carrying Diego toward the steps of the plane.

I blink and quickly follow, but halt at the top of the steps when I see two figures.

Their eyes light up as Noah walks toward them, bouncing Diego in his arms before passing our bags off to Cameron, but keeping Diego’s diaper bag. Cameron takes them willingly, while Barnett takes hold of my son’s fingers.

Hurt, denial, betrayal, and loss hit me.

I didn’t just lose my family and my love, I also lost my best friends, two men who I saw as older brothers, and who I loved unconditionally.

They chose Noah and I get it, he’s their family, but they didn’t even give me a chance to explain myself.

They left me, too.

Swallowing down the emotions that want to escape, I slowly descend the stairs, and their eyes come my way, both men straightening. Cameron looks at me with guilt, while Barnett looks at me with sorrow.

As I get closer, they both tense, but instead of getting angry, I take Diego from Noah’s arms, and walk over to the SUV, ignoring them.

“Shit,” Noah mumbles while Barnett whispers, “Fuck….”

Cameron, though, doesn’t let me get far. "You know, the old Rose would knee us in the balls right about now….”

“Dude, I fucking value my balls,” Barnett snaps, and I grit my teeth.

Ignoring them, I give the driver a slight smile as he opens the door and, very carefully, I place Diego in the car seat.

My small boy yawns, making me smile as I click him in. Then, without a word to the men, I walk over to Noah, who tilts his head but says nothing; he just watches me.

I don’t make eye contact with him as I grab the teddy bear out of the bag, and I hear him suck in a breath, but I ignore him and turn and walk back to the car, giving the teddy that I had hidden while Noah was at my apartment to Diego, who instantly squeezes it, his eyes closing.

Gently, I shut the door and turn to the three men, pointing at them and snap, “Next time you swear in front of my son, I’ll release all the embarrassing videos I have of all three of you to media!”

Cameron and Barnett both go still, their eyes widening, while Cameron looks like he’s about to be sick because, yes, he used to sing and dance to Britney Spears’ “Lucky.”

Noah smirks. “Mama bear not playing around, huh?” I narrow my eyes at him, but he grins and admits, “You can publish any video of me you want; it’ll just confirm everyone’s theories that I married my high school sweetheart.”

I narrow my eyes at him as Barnett snaps, “No, no! She has a video of us fucking singing fucking Hannah Montana to make her smile when her dad forgot her fourteenth birthday, jackass!”

I bite my bottom lip to stop my smile before I say, “And let's not forget the one of you three running butt naked through school after I stole all your clothes.” Cameron and Barnett’s faces pale, but Noah, smiles, not caring, but it soon wipes when I add, “And Noah, if you hadn’t ran with your tail between your legs, then we would have been married by now.”

His jaw flexes, but I ignore him, look at the other two, and say, "By the way, Noah drank Diego’s milk, not realizing it was breastmilk.”

Both men grin and look at Noah, who drops his head. I turn and climb into the SUV next to Diego, and wait for the boys.

Being around all three of them again is hard and so goddamn heartbreaking.

They were my family, and they abandoned me….

Twenty minutes—that’s how long it took to get to my dad's, while for me, it felt like hours. Cameron and Barnett kept asking questions I refused to answer, and because I refused to answer, they started bringing up memories of the past, but I ignored them.

They can’t act like everything is okay because it’s not.

When the driver stops in front of the home I grew up in, my dad opens the front door, smiling wide, and I can’t help but smile a little myself, especially at the way his light green eyes light up when he sees a sleeping Diego through the window.

Chuckling, Noah climbs out from beside me, rounds the vehicle, and slowly unclips our son. He kisses his head and gently passes him over to my dad before going to get our bags.

Noah wasn’t happy about it, but I told him we were staying at Dad's.

He and I are over, and I still don’t trust him overnight with Diego.

Shaking my head, I go to climb out but go still when Cameron rasps, “We fucked up and, yeah, I did believe that photo, and I’ll forever feel guilty over it, but we’re not going to give up, Rose. You’re family….”

Family? Really? After they all left me?

I blink away the tears, climb out without answering him, and walk toward the front door where Noah is standing.

He tilts his head, his eyes taking in my appearance, most likely my now red face, because I want to cry.

He sighs when he realizes I won’t let him in, and says, “I’ll see you tomorrow, alright?”

I give him a slight smile and admit, “You won’t see me. Dad will be here with Diego.”

His jaw ticks, and he grits out, “Where will you be?”

I smirk at him and decide to give him a piece of his own medicine. I say, “I’m going to see the man in the photo….”

With that said, I turn and head inside where my father stands, trying his hardest not to laugh as the front door slams closed, and I grin wide.

“Payback?” Dad confirms, and I shrug, grabbing mine and Diego’s bags.

“Maybe he should have confronted me two years ago and fought for us,” I say, and Dad nods with pride while I take the bags upstairs, dreading Diego’s party.

The boys invited themselves, and I know dad invited Tamara, and with Noah there as well….

This is going to be a long couple of days.