43

43

STACEY

“Iam not having sex with you in here.”

Kade groans into my shoulder as the water from the shower pelts down on us, the washroom lined with six cubicles, white tiles and low lights so we aren’t blinded. Our naked bodies are pressed together, his front to my back, and his hands are firmly on my hips as he starts dragging kisses across my shoulders and up the side of my throat.

My body hurts, but the warmth is helping a little – Kade giving me extra attention only relaxes me more, even though we definitely can’t have sex only hours after everything that just happened – not to mention the fact I’m still on my period.

“I’m not trying to have sex with you. Am I not allowed to taste your skin without sinking my cock inside you?”

“Your dick says otherwise.”

Kade cups my breasts and swipes his thumbs over my nipples, and the sensitiveness of them has me whimpering. “Because my girl is fucking beautiful and sexy, and I know how good she is when she’s on her knees.”

“I’m always good,” I reply, giggling when he tightens his grip on my chest and drags his teeth lightly against my throat. “We can’t do anything. We need to hurry up.”

Kade shakes his head. “I see no reason to hurry up.”

“Base has been waiting outside for five minutes already.”

“So? Fuck him,” he retorts then pauses. “No, fuck me. Or let me fuck you.”

“So you are trying to have sex with me?”

“Yes.”

“Not happening,” I reply, and he lowers his head to my shoulder again, the water soaking his hair and making the dark strands fall over his forehead.

His cock twitches against my ass. “I’m going to die a born-again virgin.”

I let out a sound of disbelief. “You are so dramatic. Are you spending too much time with Base?”

“Probably.”

He groans again when I slap his hard-on away and hugs me to him. We stay under the water for a little while longer. I stroke my fingers down his arm, making sure I avoid the healing skin, then I turn in his arms to face him and brush my hands into his wet hair.

His eyes are sunken, and the colour in them is so dull. “You look like you could sleep for months.”

“Not yet,” he says, kissing my forehead. “I’ll sleep for months once I deal with Bernadette.”

I can’t wait. We’ll go somewhere with the dogs and just be together. Maybe one day there will be miniature versions of me and Kade too. But right now, in the middle of all this chaos, I’d rather only worry about Kade. No offence to Luciella, because I know her pregnancy wasn’t planned, but I’d be far too paranoid not to go to Russia as Base suggested. He called his grandfather after we checked on Bernadette, and he agreed to hide her, but she refused; said doing so would take her away from Base. Tobias was right – his wife thinks he’s dead after heroically running into a burning building to save lives, so they have a chance to be together.

Then there’s Kade’s assistant.

“Barry’s taking a huge risk being here. He could walk away and go live his life without anything biting him in the ass. What if Bernadette’s people find out she’s here?”

“They’re all dead,” Kade states. “Dad either freed them from her manipulation, or he shot them without hesitation. He kind of took out the underworld for me, and he’s only one person.”

Tobias, when triggered, is a machine. A maniac. And he doesn’t care about death or fear it, which makes him even more dangerous. He’s intelligent – insanely intelligent. He strategically took out everyone gunning for his son without being detected by the police.

Still, despite his capabilities, I think he’s a goofball who gives the best hugs.

“Barry is still taking a risk.”

Kade nods and hums. “He’s loyal. Probably too loyal. But I know nothing I can say will change his mind. He hates Bernadette and everything she stands for. He… he witnessed me go through a lot, way before I forced myself back into your life.”

“I know,” I reply, sliding my arms around his neck and bringing our bodies together. “And you didn’t force yourself back into my life. You were always there, and I never once stopped loving and wanting you.”

“So you’ll let me fuck you?”

I roll my eyes. “No. I’m still on my period.”

He shrugs. “Shower. Water will wash away the blood while I pound into you. It’s a win-win. Besides, you have three holes I can use.”

For a second, I contemplate the other way, then I huff. “No.”

He laughs a genuine laugh that shows his straight white teeth and shakes his chest. “You loved it the last time.”

I know Kade is looking for comfort. When we’re joined as one, he can let go and all his worries wash away until he finishes. Sex was Kade’s punishment for so long, but with us, it’s his sanctuary. To feel the love and the care and the way we fit so perfectly.

We once said we fit like the perfect puzzle – two frayed jigsaw pieces trying to stick together but being forced apart. Now I think we’re fixed and solid in place, finally able to complete the beautiful, messy and magical picture of our life.

“You’re touching my cock. The mixed signals are fucking with me, Freckles.”

“Do you even have a condom?” There’s sarcasm in my voice, because I know for a fact he doesn’t, and we already agreed that falling pregnant right now would be irresponsible.

“No,” he replies, narrowing his eyes. “Why would I wear one?”

Forget what I just said – he obviously wasn’t listening when I said we should wait. I lightly tap the side of his shoulder. “No unprotected sex until this is over, got it?”

“I didn’t exactly stock up on rubbers when I was renovating this place.”

“Then no sex.”

He looks mortified. “Fine.” But then he pulls my mouth to his and kisses me hard. He’s hard between my legs, his breathing is heavy, and I absently rock my hips into his, wanting so badly to hike my leg up and pull him into me.

“I’ll have you know,” I say, biting his bottom lip until it snaps back into place, “I have fantastic self-control.”

He grins then walks me further into the shower, until my back presses to the cold tiles. He crowds me, kissing me so passionately, I feel like I might shatter.

Kade owns me, but that’s okay, because he belongs to me too.

“If I could keep you hidden in this building for the rest of our lives, I would.” He kisses me again. Possessively. “I have no idea what’s going to happen next. Once I deal with Bernadette, everything is black in my head. It’s like I know deep down, after what she made me do, I don’t deserve a happy ending. I don’t deserve to have you. I killed husbands, boyfriends, fathers, and there were a handful of wives who got in the way. I… I… Why should I be allowed to have you?”

“Because it’s not up to anyone else. I want you. I love you. You were trapped and blackmailed. There’s a huge difference between being forced to kill and doing it for fun.”

Kade’s head lowers, and so does his voice, his palm flat against the tiles next to my head. “But I enjoyed the killing part.”

I stay silent, blinking as drops of water hit my eyelashes.

“When I knew the targets were bad people, I had no hesitation ending their lives. It was an adrenaline rush watching the light leave their eyes, knowing the world was safer without them. But, in the end, they were someone’s partner or father or son, and I shouldn’t be allowed to be one.”

“Well – you are. The sooner you believe that, the better. You’re my other half, and one day, you’re going to be the best father in the world.” I cup his cheek and stroke it. “One day at a time. You’re not a bad person, Kade. You’re everything to me.”

I smile, and when he doesn’t speak, I continue. “We should sleep and get rested enough for tomorrow. I assume you’re going to make Bernadette’s life hell when you wake.”

“You’d be correct. She—” He pauses, hurt flashing across his face as he presses his cheek into my palm as if he’s starved of my touch. “She killed Jason. I’m not going to grant her mercy by making it quick.”

“Then make it hurt. Make it hurt for as long as you need.”

It’s morbid that we’re even discussing this. Years ago, I would’ve been horrified to be standing in a shower, naked, holding Kade while someone was locked in a room just below us, covered in their own bodily fluids. But now? I’m not bothered. If anything, I want her to feel unimaginable pain for a long, long time. I want it to hurt. I want to hurt her.

She took what was mine. She warped Kade’s mind and turned him into a… machine. She tried to destroy him, but as he places soft kisses over my face and helps me wash my hair, I realise the only thing she did was try and fail to do all those things. Because he’s here, with me, loving me forever.

Kade is still that eighteen-year-old boy, nervous of touch, falling in love with his sister’s best friend and not having a clue how to control his emotions.

Only now he’s killed people. His future is balanced on a knife edge, and we have no idea if he’ll fall off the blade unscathed or be cut open for the world to see the colour of his soul.

The police offered him aid, but I don’t trust them. I don’t trust that they’re going to just let him get away with those crimes, despite him being manipulated and blackmailed into doing them.

“You can carry me to bed now,” I say, rising on my toes to kiss him again. “I think Base has fallen asleep at the door.”

He dries me then kisses the side of each knee before wrapping bandages around my clean skin. My body is sore, but Tobias gave me strong painkillers to dull the pain.

He lets me put cream on his burned arm, and when we open the shower room door wrapped in towels, we find Base is gone. Kade holds my hand all the way to our designated room like we’re two high schoolers walking to class.

Our room is small and plain, but I love the fact the bed isn’t huge. We’ll get to be close, even when we sleep. Barry wasn’t joking when he said he’d fully renovated this place. Even the wardrobe has spare clothes for me, and there’s a drawer filled with new toiletries, a hairbrush and a small bag with tampons I definitely need.

Once I pull on cotton shorts and one of Kade’s tops, I lie on the small bed, staring up at him rubbing a towel into his hair.

“What?” he asks, watching as my body curls around the duvet. “Are you still really sore?”

“No, the meds dulled the pain. But there’s no heating in here and I’m certain my toes are falling off.”

He chuckles deeply. “The manor was too hot; this building is too cold. Where do you meet in the middle?”

I roll my eyes. “When my supposed boyfriend takes the hint that I’m asking for cuddles.”

He tosses down the towel, his dark, wavy hair basically dry. He needs a haircut, but I like getting a good fistful of the length it’s currently at. “Maybe I don’t want to cuddle you.”

I laugh and lean my chin on my fist. “Says the clingy one.”

Kade smirks, pulling aside the duvet and getting in beside me. I yelp as his warm hand grabs my cold thigh and hikes it over him, then he wraps his arms around me so the warmth of his body bleeds into mine.

He feels like home.

“Better?”

“Yeah, but your dick is still kind of hard,” I state, sliding my hand over his growing bulge and making it twitch.

“Of course it is. I just spent half an hour watching you rub soap all over your naked body. Regardless of our situation and the monster of a woman downstairs, my body’s going to react to seeing yours,” he replies, groaning as I trail my fingertip down the length of him, feeling the faint ridges and veins. “You want to take my boxers off and tend to it or you going to keep teasing me?”

I lean my chin on his chest and look up at him. “I think my jaw might fall off if I blow you again. It’s all we’ve been doing since I got my period.”

“You aren’t really bleeding much now though, are you? Can I fuck you?”

“Hm,” I say, considering.

His eyes glint. “Please?”

There’s a bang on the wall beside us. “The partition between us is thin. Don’t you dare make me share a room with Barry.”

“Sorry, Tobias!” I call out, feeling my face turning a deep shade of red. “Goodnight!”

Kade shakes his head, rolling onto his side and holding me to his chest. “Sleep, Freckles. I have a feeling tomorrow’s going to be a long day.”

“Goodnight,” I whisper, watching his lashes fall as his eyes close. I nudge his nose gently with mine. “I love you.”

But I don’t get a response, because he’s already fallen asleep.

Once Kade’s arm goes heavy and his breathing turns shallow, I check to make sure he’s definitely asleep by asking, “Do you want a drink of water?”

I wait for a beat. Two. Three. Nothing. Good.

I carefully slide away from him, tiptoe towards my shoes and pull them on before sneaking out of the bedroom. The door closes with a soft click, and I take a deep breath and lean against it.

Luciella and Base are in the room across from us, and going by the loud snoring, Base is fast asleep. How my best friend can sleep beside such a despicable noise will forever baffle me.

As I make my way down the corridor, another door opens, and I pause and glance behind me. Tobias is rubbing his eyes and leaning against the doorframe, wearing only a pair of cotton shorts. “Where are you going, little one?”

For a long moment, I stare at him, this older version of Kade. “Um,” I start, pointing my thumb in the direction I was going. “Water.”

“The kitchen’s that way,” he says, gesturing in the opposite direction.

“Oh.” I falter and straighten my spine, limping past him. “Sorry if I woke you.”

“You didn’t,” he says, sighing and slipping back into his room before coming out in a black top that accentuates his build. “Are you hungry?”

“A little.”

I follow him into the kitchen and sit at the table. He gives me a glass of water, and I watch while he rummages through the fridge and then opens the freezer.

My eyes widen. “Why does that look like a human head in the freezer?”

Tobias chuckles and lifts the plastic bag holding a man’s head. “It’s her driver. He tried to stop the ambush, so I cut his head off with a meat cleaver.”

He did the same at the manor. “You have a thing for decapitating people, it seems.”

He chuckles. “I had no idea, but I guess I do.”

I’m speechless as he tosses the bag back into the freezer and slams it shut before filling a pot with water and sticking it on the stove. So domesticated. Like he hasn’t spent over twenty years locked up and unable to cook for himself. Now he’s boiling eggs and offering me a biscuit from a tub labelled “Do not touch”. I guess Barry stole his cookies.

I have no idea why it makes me laugh, but it does, and Tobias looks at me like I have five heads. The man is a touch robotic with his movements as he shifts around the kitchen. He’s still learning to do things himself, and it must be weird to even make boiled eggs for someone else.

“I missed you.”

Tobias stops and turns to me. “What?”

“When we thought you were dead. You’re like a dad to me. And… and you were the first person to believe me. I told my own dad when Chris started abusing me, and he said I was just a hormonal teenager seeking attention. But you didn’t even hesitate to offer me support. It took me so long to find my voice, and it was you who got that voice to work. Thank you. Truly. You saved a little bit of my sanity that day.”

His cheeks go red, and he busies himself with the eggs again.

Socialising isn’t his strong point. But then again, he’s not wired like most people. If he has no response for someone, he’ll simply ignore them. I don’t find it rude – maybe because I spent every day with him for nearly a year and watched him fuss over baby Eva.

Sometimes Tobias will just stare into nothingness, still as a statue, hands on his lap. Like he’s in a trance. Whenever I’ve seen it happen, he doesn’t even blink, doesn’t respond, doesn’t snap out of it for ages. I remember Kade telling me about these episodes way before I met Tobias. He’d just come home from visiting him in America and told me the first time he noticed it was when he was seven. He was blank, unmoving, and they didn’t visit him for eight months after that.

He loses his grip on reality during those moments, but thankfully, since being here, he’s been focused.

“Can I ask you something?”

He sighs heavily, so like his son, slouches against the counter and replies, “If you must.”

Leaning my elbows on the table, I balance my chin on my hands. “Why don’t you want Aria to know you’re alive?”

“It’s easier that way,” he replies without having to think. “She’s spent the last twenty-five years worrying about me. Always visiting, calling, doing what she can to help me on my bad days.” Tobias shrugs, but I can tell he’s uncomfortable. “Me being dead will hurt her for a while, but then she’ll be free of me.”

“You’d just walk away from her after all those years she’s spent devoted to you?”

“I escaped prison and am presumed dead. What benefits does she get from knowing I’m alive?”

“She’ll benefit from knowing because she loves you.”

Tobias looks away from me and stares at the wall. “Why were you out of bed?”

Could he and Kade be any more alike? Subject-changing assholes.

“I told you, I needed a drink of water.”

He turns his head and raises a brow. “Then why is your glass still full?”

I try not to blink.

Tobias scoffs. “You were going to see Bernadette.”

I can’t even lie to him now. It’s written all over my face. “She and I are due to have a chat. I wanted to give her a piece of my mind while everyone was asleep.”

Tobias laughs, nods then walks out of the kitchen without another word.

I stare at the empty doorway in total confusion.

A few minutes later, Tobias walks back in with a syringe to hand. I’ve still not touched my water. “Come on,” he says, nodding behind him. “I’ll take you down.”

“Oh… Uh…” I frown. “You’re taking me down?”

I fully expected him to drag me back to my room and tell Kade, not escort me.

Tobias twirls the syringe between his fingers. “I’ll give her enough of this so she hears you, but I’m not leaving you alone with her. You were going to sneak down, so if I say no and take you back, you’ll be a pain in my ass and try to go there anyway.”

I blink. He’s not wrong.

He shrugs and turns towards the door. “Move.”