32

32

STACEY

Kade isn’t recognisable. He’s concealed his identity, which is a relief.

Luciella pulls her phone out and shows us the same live feed playing on her screen. “What is he doing?”

Even his guards are frowning at the screens.

He looks evil, his eyes filled with death. A killer. Dark and dangerous as he swings a hammer at Archie’s face and knocks him to the side. He chuckles deeply, and it’s a haunting echo in the room as Aria and Luciella stand beside me.

On the screens, Kade tosses aside the hammer and pulls the blade from the holster on his thigh, grabbing Archie by the hair and bringing his bleeding face to the recording. His terror takes over the screens.

“Tell them who you are,” Kade demands, not even trying to hide his voice. “Tell them who your wife is.”

“Fuck you,” he seethes, and Kade drags the blade down the side of his face, making him scream in pain and try to get out of his hold. He fails miserably.

“Everyone will see,” Kade continues, yanking his head back and pressing the blade to his throat. “They’ll know you fucked your own daughter, abused children and even your own wife. Did she know you were drugging her as well as your little test subjects?”

“Fuck you,” Archie says again with less fight.

“By the end of this, you’ll be a wanted man. Tell the world who the fuck you are.” The blade is pressed to his throat hard enough to make beads of blood well up, and Archie whimpers as he pisses himself.

“Ar-Archie Sawyer,” he stutters. “My name is… is… is Archie Sawyer.”

“And your wife?”

“Bernadette Sawyer. Head of Police Scotland and… and…” He chokes and attempts to get free from Kade’s hold. “It was all her idea. I fucking swear it.”

“What was?”

“She wanted your father,” he says, choking on his own slobber. “We watched him for years, and then we watched you. You were twelve.”

Jesus.

“I already know I was fucking twelve. I saw all the surveillance photos.”

“That’s when we first got the idea,” he says, gasping for air as more crimson spills from the blade.

“Idea for what?” Kade asks, tightening his grip on Archie’s hair and making him wince.

“To use you. You looked like your father, and he was untouchable for us.”

Aria covers her mouth, and Luciella scowls at the screen. “What the fuck?” she snaps.

“When she finally got you to our place, pretending she’d help with your father’s case, she slipped you something to make you pass out. I had no idea she wanted you for sexual reasons.” He licks his teeth like the vile man he is. “I can’t say it wasn’t enjoyable though.”

Kade has had enough. He pulls a grenade from his bag, and his eyes stare into the camera. “Watch your husband die, Bernadette.”

My eyes widen as he grabs Archie’s jaw and pries it open, his gloved fingers curling around his top and bottom teeth and separating them with force. His gums split first, and blood pisses from his mouth, then the bones crack at his jaw, so it’s wide enough for Kade to jam the grenade into his mouth.

Luciella turns away, grimacing. “I can’t watch this.”

The fact that I can watch it and feel no remorse or even a touch of sadness for the monster speaks volumes as to who I am now. Before, I’d have been mortified and felt ill. I’d have been gagging into a bag and calling Kade vile.

But they’re the vile ones.

Archie’s eyes are filled with panic and agonising pain, but for once, I want Kade to keep going. I think Aria does too, but at the same time, she doesn’t want to watch her son do this.

It’s live for the entire world to see.

Aria turns to a guard. “Unlock that damn door.”

“No can do, ma’am.”

“I own this house,” she replies, her patience non-existent. “My stepson just died, the man I love might be dead, my husband is living in a hotel room and my son is in the middle of slaughtering someone on my lawn. I will not stand here and do nothing. Open the door before I fire you.”

He stands taller. “No.”

Everyone turns when a shot is fired, and on the screen, Archie clenches his teeth over the deadly metal of the grenade as Kade shoots him in the kneecaps. His sadistic laugh echoes around the room as Archie falls to the grass. It should cause shivers to go up my spine and make me as horrified as his family, but I’m proud of him.

Archie has abused him since he was a teenager, causing unimaginable pain that’ll stay with him forever. He has nightmares about everything that happened while he was with that horrible family, but I think what that man did to him has impacted his psyche the most.

Archie silently begs for mercy, the grenade still lodged in his mouth.

“This man and his wife are responsible for years upon years of corruption and death…”

Kade speaks to the camera, and my heart stutters at the silvery-blue eyes blazing right at me. He starts reeling off names. The dead and the taken. Children and their ages. Who pays who and the connections Bernadette has that keep her on her pedestal.

“In the file I’ve sent out, you’ll see twenty-eight locations all over the world. Those organisations hold over two thousand missing children and adults. Act fast. Dispatch every unit you can to rescue them.”

He mentions four prime ministers, two presidents and various other world leaders who have their hands in the underworld. He talks about the files that have been released worldwide to every news station, law-enforcement organisation and social-media platform, explaining how everyone else can access them too, if they dare to look.

He knees Archie under his chin, knocking him on his back, the grenade somehow still in place.

“I was nineteen when they first abused me. I was threatened to do things or my family would be targeted. I was trained to kill mercilessly and fuck like a monster, and they ruined my life in the process. My name is Kade Mitchell, son of Tobias Mitchell, and I will not be fucking silent anymore.”

My mouth opens with a gasp. Aria releases a rushed breath, and Luciella closes her eyes and turns away.

He just told the world who he is. In the middle of committing a murder.

“Jason McElroy was my brother, and he died protecting my girlfriend at the hands of Bernadette Sawyer.”

I can’t control myself – I fall against the wall and slide down it, hugging my knees as I keep watching.

“If you look at my file, you’ll see what they turned me into. I was twelve when she first started watching me. She waited for just the right moment to approach me, and I was dumb enough to buy into her bullshit.”

He pulls off his face covering, showing the thick scar from his mouth all the way down to his chest. He grits his teeth, letting out a dirty laugh.

He looks demonic, satanic, like he has no humanity left.

“My file tells the rest of my story.”

A tear slips down my cheek, but I don’t wipe it away. I look up at the guard. “Please unlock the door. I need to stop him before he criminalises himself even more.”

“Please,” Aria begs the man, helping me to my feet. “Please.”

Luciella stands beside us. “We want to help him.”

He hesitates then looks at his colleague, who nods once, his eyes sliding shut.

But before he can unlock it, Kade says, “Let’s see you get yourself out of this, Bernadette. And if I find out my dad is really dead, you better hide, because nothing will stop me from breaking every bone in your body.”

People wince around us as Kade pulls a blade longer than his forearm out of one of the bags and, with a completely blank expression, cuts off Archie’s hand.

The sawing motion he uses means it doesn’t detach right away, and we can hear the monstrous man screeching both through the screen and from outside like an animal being slaughtered. Blood gushes everywhere, even hitting the phone recording it all.

The door is unlocked, but I freeze at the threshold when Aria yells, “No!”

My eyes find the screen again, just as Kade pulls the ring on the grenade and kicks Archie in the chest. He starts walking backwards as he spins it on his middle finger. “Die, you little bitch,” Kade taunts as he hides behind a large tree trunk. “I’ll make sure your beast of a wife sees you in hell pretty soon.”

Archie’s eyes go wide, and the recording ends just as the explosion flashes, a roar of something like thunder following right after.

The eruption shakes the windows, the lights flickering, and then it’s done. Over.

We all get to the window, relieved to see Kade returning, unscathed from the grenade exploding in Archie’s mouth. He walks towards the manor, but his steps are slow, his head bowing further and further with every footfall. He drops to an unstable knee then struggles to get back up, and when he does, he only takes a few more steps before going down again.

I’m out of the manor and sprinting across the grounds before Aria can yell his name.

I fall to my knees in front of him and take his face in both of my hands. There are pieces of flesh all over his clothes and face from either shooting or cutting or blowing up Archie. His eyes are on me as I stare at him, but he’s looking right through me.

“It’s me,” I say softly. “It’s me.”

He seems to breathe for the first time in hours.

“They’re loud,” he says, fighting the excessive blinks, his right eye twitching. “So damn loud, Freckles.”

I nod, knowing that the version of him that thirsted for revenge and pain and blood has gone to sleep in his mind, and the voices are taking over. The ones that mock him and make him freak out. I’ve no idea what they’re saying right now, but Kade screws his eyes shut and drops his head to my shoulder, wrapping his strong arms around me.

After Archie’s murder was just live-streamed to who knows how many TV screens, the police are most likely on their way here.

I bite my lip to hold in a whimper as Kade digs his fingers into my skin. “I’m tired, Stacey.”

“I know,” I reply, rubbing my hand up and down his back. “Do you want to go to your room?”

His team is starting to circle us, everyone silent as Kade cuddles into me on the grass, both of us on our knees. Aria and Luciella hold each other, and when Kade lifts his head from my shoulder, his eyes go from left to right, taking them all in.

“I fucked up,” he slurs at them. “You’re free to go home. No one needs to stay.”

Most of them had no idea what Kade had been through. They must’ve thought he was just a rebellious kid who wanted revenge on someone who’d wronged him. They were paid to guard, to debunk, to hack and to fight, and now they know.

I can see the respect they have for him.

None of them move to leave; they just lower their heads, showing their unmoving loyalty.

Kade looks exhausted as he glances at them all then at me. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.” I kiss his forehead despite the blood, and it makes him slowly close his eyes for a moment. “Do you want to go to your room?”

He nods. “Yeah.”

I reach for his gloved hand, and he lets me take it, lacing our fingers. I help him up with the aid of two of his guys, and we lead him into the manor.

He stops beside his mum. “We don’t believe Dad is dead until we see proof.”

Lu hugs him. “I said the same thing. You need to sleep.”

Aria also agrees. “Yes, sweetheart.” She brushes her fingers through his hair as Lu pulls away, pushing his hood down. “Go shower and sleep. I’ll have breakfast ready in the morning.”

Aria tells Luciella to go to sleep too. “Go. I’ll have the mess cleared.”

The glaze in her eyes tells a thousand stories, all of them ending in heartbreak.

We all know there won’t be any breakfast in the morning.

Kade doesn’t speak on the way to his room, but he does stagger a few times, and I’m certain he’s going to seize again as he drops to his knees and vomits on his staircase.

As soon as we get to his room, he falls against the closed door. “I fucked up.”

“It’s okay. Where are your meds?”

He points to the drawer next to his bed. “I fucked up,” he says again. “They’re coming for me. Please run.”

I make sure he gets the right dosage, then he swallows a benzodiazepine, something new that was prescribed to help calm him during what they assume to be schizophrenic episodes.

I turn the TV on to a music channel, hoping the songs will drown out the voices for him. “medicine” by onte plays.

A few minutes pass of him breathing and watching me get clean clothes ready. “You should leave,” he says. “If you’re caught with me, they’ll arrest you too.”

“I’m not leaving you,” I say, slipping into the bathroom to turn on the shower. “Come on.”

The tears don’t start until I’m stripping him of his clothing, and he keeps apologising to me for everything. He thinks he keeps blacking out. He can’t control anything. He doesn’t know what to do. He doesn’t want to die.

He wants us to be together but has no idea how, especially now.

I help him into the shower, and he pulls me in. Warm water cascades over us from two different shower heads, and my dress is quickly soaked. I move wet hair from my face and grab a sponge, cleaning off the evidence from Kade’s body.

His muscles pull taut at the touch of the sponge, and he flinches a little. He’s still tanned from being all over the world, with far more scars than he had a year ago, and his hands are trembling as he tries to take the sponge from me.

I let him take it, and after he pulls the straps of my dress down, one at a time, it pools at my feet. He uses the sponge on my body, and my eyes burn. I know this could be one of the last times we ever spend together.

I’m not wearing a bra, and he doesn’t try to remove my panties, because this isn’t a time to have sex.

“I love you,” I tell him, my voice cracking. “No matter what happens next, please know that.”

The sponge stops at my neck, then it drops at our feet beside my dress as his finger traces my pulse. “I bruised you. Where I grabbed your neck earlier, you have a bruise. I hurt you. I knew I was doing it, but I couldn’t stop, even though my mind was yelling at me to let go of you. I never wanted to hurt you.”

“I think you dissociated,” I say.

He stares at me, then it’s like his gaze goes right through me as he continues to move his hands around my body against the water. It’s not sexual but as if he’s memorising my every inch. “My meds are supposed to help. They’re not.”

“You’ve not been taking them that long. They’re not going to work right away. But the fact that you’re taking them is a good thing. It takes a lot for someone to ask for help. I’m proud of you.”

“After what I just did? Have I not made you afraid of me?”

I shake my head. “No. Archie deserved it.”

He chuckles deeply and shakes his head, his eyes so, so tired. “My little sadist.”

“Maybe,” I say, smiling as I slide my arms around his neck and bring our bodies together. “I’m glad you overheard me telling your mother we should stay friends when we were in the office.”

“Yeah?”

I nod and fight more tears. “I missed your touch.”

“I was terrified I’d hurt you, so I held back, especially when I kissed you in bed,” Kade replies, resting his forehead on mine. “But when I heard you saying you’d just be my friend, I couldn’t think of a worse sentence to hear.” He nudges my nose with his. “I had to reclaim what was always mine, even if I blacked out for most of it.”

I laugh and rest my head against his chest. “I was always yours.”

He strokes my hair. The water’s starting to get a little cooler. “I didn’t finish inside you, did I?”

“No. You were inside all of three minutes.”

“Shameful.”

I roll my eyes.

“But I didn’t wear a condom.”

“No, you didn’t.”

“I’m clean. I got tested when we arrived back here.” Then his hand freezes. “I assume you’re not on birth control?”

I shake my head.

“Tell my mum to get a nurse in. They’ll give you a Plan B, just in case. You don’t want to have a kid with someone who’ll be an absent father.”

I narrow my eyes at him. “You wouldn’t be.”

He rests his back against the cold tiles, one of which is cracked, still shaky on his feet. “You know I will be, Stacey. I just killed a man live, outed over half of the underworld and exposed Bernadette’s empire. If I’m not arrested, I can assure you there’ll be a number of pissed-off people hunting for me.”

His speech is less slurred, and I guess the benzo is working, since some light is returning to his eyes.

“We could go to the safe house you were thinking of sending the dogs to. We’ll leave now.”

He stares down at me. “I wouldn’t let you ruin your life by being on the run with me forever. Whoever gets me first, I’ll surrender.”

I step back, putting minimal distance between us. “You can’t just give up. There’s a chance your dad is still out there, and Bernadette is still alive.”

He shrugs. “I have no plan, Stacey. This, right now, was my last resort to stop her. I wasn’t supposed to kill Archie. I had nothing set up for after.”

“What about me?”

He smirks weakly. “Go dance and live your life. Think of me when you do, and picture me sitting in the crowd, right at the very front.”

“You say that like you’ll be dead.”

“I might be,” he replies, not a trace of sarcasm in his voice. “I’d be better off dead.”

I shake my head. “You’re not giving up, Kade.”

He tilts his head. “I have no hope, can’t you see? I need medication to stop people talking in my head and seeing shit that isn’t real. I black out, dissociate, and I hurt you. Everything is tainted. Even sex to me is violent. I just fucking killed a man while live-streaming because I’m too impulsive. I wasn’t supposed to kill him; I just wanted the piece of shit to expose himself and his wife’s empire. And then I declared war on thousands of people. Any idea how to get me out of that? I’m all ears.”

“People live every day with blackouts, dissociation and seizures. Your condition is manageable.”

“According to people who’ve never experienced it. Do you have any idea what it’s like to have no control? To have your free will and consent taken away from you?”

I lower my eyes. “Yes.”

Silence – so much silence fills the bathroom as I remember Chris and everything he did to me.

Kade swears to himself. “I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking. I’m sorry.”

I turn away to hide my tears, the tremble in my chin, the way my chest is rising and falling. Kade pulls my back to his chest and presses a kiss to my pulse.

“You’re stronger than I am. To go through what you did and still put others before you… I envy your strength. I want a normal life with you, but that’s not on the cards for me. If I could run and guarantee your safety, I’d run.”

“I want you to run with me,” I say, sniffling. “Please.”

He kisses my shoulder gently. “I love you, Freckles.”

My teeth chatter. “I love you too.”

Silence follows, and we stay under the water until it turns cold – then we brush our teeth and don clean clothes. I’m wearing a black top of his that nearly reaches my knees, and he’s in a pair of sweats.

We sit on the balcony while he smokes. I stay in his lap, my back to his chest, as we stare at the stars. All the while, Aria is running around with Kade’s team, cleaning up the mess he left behind.

After he sighs and flicks his cigarette over the balcony, he wraps his arms around me and lifts me up. “Let’s go,” he says, kissing my cheek as he carries me to bed. “I want to sleep with my girl in my arms one last time.”