24

24

STACEY

The walk to the room he’s in feels like miles. Every step I take has my heart beating harder, leaving bloody hands on the banister as I ascend the steps. The lodge is huge – but surely he heard the gunshots?

Unless he assumed they were hallucinations.

The corridor is long and narrow, and when I make it to the door, I freeze.

This is by far the last conversation I want to have with a barely lucid Kade. But as I unlock the door and push it open, my head turns in the direction of the bathroom. The shower is running, and the steam creeping under the door is causing condensation on the window.

I close the door behind me with a click, leaning against it. “Kade?”

The shower cuts off, and a few seconds later, the door swings open, a gust of hot air hitting me as Kade walks out and wraps a towel around his waist. The cloud of steam dissipates around him. His hair is wet, and drops of water slide down his chest.

It’s the wrong time to be looking at him this way, but I haven’t seen Kade like this in so long, I’d forgotten just how handsome and perfect he is. My eyes fall on the scar he hasn’t covered, my gaze following the purple line from the corner of his mouth, all the way down his throat to where it stops, above his heart.

He follows my gaze, and when he looks back up at me, he doesn’t try to hide it.

“She did that?” I ask.

Half a beat passes before he slowly shakes his head. “She made me do it to myself.”

His voice isn’t shaky. It’s clear and deep and makes the butterflies I’ve had since I was fifteen go wild. Even though he just told me that bitch made him cut himself.

“You don’t need to keep hiding it from me,” I say, taking a careful step forward. Blood rushes in my ears, knowing that this more controlled version of him is about to shatter. “But we’re going to make her pay for everything she’s done.”

I go to tell him that she has his dad, but I can’t. The words get trapped in my throat, and I have to grit my teeth together to stop myself from letting out a broken cry.

I should have yanked Tobias’s gun from his waistband and shot her and damned the consequences. She hurt him, and I didn’t do anything about it. But I know she has a failsafe in place – Barry mentioned it before – so even if we’d been able to survive the onslaught of her men once she fell, there still would’ve been consequences.

Taking her out in a fit of rage would have resulted in everyone’s death.

Kade’s eyes drop down my body, taking in the blood soaking my clothes and staining my skin. “Are you hurt?”

I shake my head, unable to speak as my eyes burn.

“You’re covered in blood.” He says it with such… normality, as if me being covered in blood isn’t a big deal, as long as I’m not hurt.

“It’s not mine,” is my reply, my eyes watering as I attempt to find the words to tell him exactly whose blood is on me.

“Do you want to use the…?” He gestures behind him, truly confused. “I won’t watch you.”

My cheeks heat. “No. I’m fine.” I fidget my hands in front of me. Tell him, dammit. “Kade, something—”

“I owe you an apology,” he cuts in, walking over to a pile of clothes neatly folded at the bottom of the bed. In amongst them is another face covering to replace the one he lost in the woods. Although I said he didn’t need to hide his scar, he wraps the black material around his face, covering his neck, so it sits just above his top lip. Then his voice is muffled as he says, “I’ve been a bit of a dick.”

I tilt my head at his actions. He seems more lucid than earlier, as if he’s finally snapped out of his breakdown. But his eyes are still bloodshot, both hands still shaking as he attempts to tie the material behind his neck like a bandana, and he drops his top twice when he tries to pull it on.

When he struggles to get his feet into his boxers while holding his towel in place, I move towards him. “Let me help.”

He huffs and runs his hands through his hair, not looking at me while I kneel at his feet and pull his boxers up his legs, stopping at the hem of the towel so he can do the rest himself. I don’t want to cross any boundaries and make him uncomfortable.

Tell him, Stacey. Maybe I can say Jason got hurt and Ewan has taken him to hospital? But then again, that would be me withholding information, sugar-coating a lie.

No more lies.

If he goes downstairs and sees the blood, the destruction, the bodies of some of the men he hired when he formed his own team, he might fall back into that hole in his mind.

I have no idea what I’m doing. I have no idea how to tell him his brother is dead. That his father is gone. I shouldn’t have volunteered to come up here. But it’s Kade.

“My body hurts,” he admits, his jaw tense, and I can tell he’s fed up and pissed off at himself. “It feels like I’ve pulled all my muscles. I can’t pick anything up without fucking dropping it.” He flexes his hands then fists them, the veins bulging. “I felt this way before when Bernadette locked me up for two weeks.” He laughs darkly and shakes his head in disgust, his pinkie spasming as he pinches the bridge of his nose. “So I know what’s up. I’m a junkie with the shakes and seeing shit, needing my next hit.”

“That’s not true,” I say, pushing up to my knees and taking one of his hands. When he doesn’t flinch from my abrupt touch or yank his hand away, I hold it. “You went through a lot, Kade. For years. It’ll take time for you to get used to not being on alert.”

He grimaces and looks down. A few seconds pass, and his voice is low, a rumble in his chest, when it comes. “Why are you here?”

To tell you your brother is dead and your dad is gone, is what I should say. But I don’t; I lick my lips and tighten my hands around his. “Because I care about you.”

He sighs and uses his free hand to pull his boxers up the rest of the way. His eyes flicker to the side, his cheeks going flush. “I need you to help me with…” He glances at his shorts. “I won’t be able to… My hands hurt.”

I get to my feet. “Of course,” I say, folding the towel aside and helping him into his shorts. “You need help with anything, I’m here.”

He stays silent, staring at the ground and rubbing his hand down his face and sighing.

His blue eyes flick up at me. “How do I know any of this is real?” It’s a serious question – I can tell from the look on his face.

I slant my head. “Do you think it is?”

“I don’t know, and it’s fucking annoying me. There were gunshots and yelling, but it all stopped. You’re covered in blood. It makes no sense. But you’re here… helping me. And my dad and brother are here – they were in the forest. It all seems too good to be true.”

I gulp down a solid rock lodged in my throat. “Kade, I need you to listen carefully, okay?”

“Can you ask Jason to come up here? I need to talk to him.” He blows out a breath, shaking his head. “I fucked up bad, Stacey. I beat the shit out of him for that video.”

“He understands.”

“Regardless, he deserves an apology from me.” He stands, rolls his jaw and blinks a few times. “We were close, you know? I always went to him for shit. I want my big brother back.”

I release a crackly sob and try to hold back tears. “Kade…”

“What?”

Before I can speak, he frowns in confusion and looks around the room when two people start yelling outside, just below his window. One is Russian and angry, and the other is Barry.

“Wait.” He steps back. “You aren’t real, are you? This is all in my fucking head again.”

“No,” I reply, taking his hand and placing it against my cheek. “It’s me. I’m real.”

He gives me a wary look, searching my face. “I don’t know. You’re always there, but you’re not.”

“I am,” I urge, moving closer. “I’m here, Kade. I’m never going to be anywhere else. I promise.”

His thumb swipes against my skin, against the wetness from the tears on my cheek. “But why are you crying? Why are you covered in blood?” He pulls his hand away, the pad of his thumb coated with his brother’s blood. “What the fuck is happening?”

A car door slams outside. I hear Base yelling in Russian.

I bite my lip and close my eyes, burying my face into his palm. My chest shudders in a sob, and I try to take a breath that doesn’t rattle my body and fail. Saliva builds in my mouth as I screw my eyes shut, feeling the world around me shrinking.

“Hey,” he says softly. “Talk to me, Freckles. Why are you so sad? Did Chris hurt you again?”

I shake my head, my chest tightening. “No. Chris is dead,” I reply with a wobbly bottom lip, opening my eyes to look at him. “We killed him. Me and you. He can never hurt us again.”

“Never again,” he repeats with a frown, and I nod. “But that’s not why you’re crying. Was it me?”

I heave in breaths. “Was what you?”

“Did I hurt you again? I can’t remember much from the last few days, and I think I hurt you.”

“No.” I strangle out the word. “You’ve never hurt me, Kade.”

“I don’t know.” His unfocused gaze drops to the floor between us. “Can you get Jason for me?”

I freeze, my breathing stuttering in my chest and rendering me speechless. I’ve dragged this out for too long, and now we’re standing mere centimetres apart, and I want to hug him. I want him to let me hug him, but I don’t know his limits.

I miss him so much, yet he’s right here.

“Earlier, I wasn’t myself. I remember his voice. I need to see him. Fuck, I’m such a fucking asshole.” The last word is gritted out, and he shakes his head again. “I pushed him away when he needed me the most. I pushed you both away.”

“Jason…” I stop and chew the inside of my cheek. Aria said he should know, but I have no idea if he’s in a state to survive it. “He…”

He tilts his head, looking more tired every second as his hand spasms against my cheek. “What?”

I sniffle and drop my head to his chest, at a loss for words. Do I tell him to come downstairs and see the havoc? Do I tell him Jason was hurt but Kade needs to stay in the room? He should know, but I have no idea how to tell him.

Then I need to tell him that the woman who made his life hell now has his father.

The only positives are that Kade’s files are clean and we have Archie. Although I’m sceptical of the former, despite Barry’s checks.

Come on, Stacey.“I’m so, so, so sorry, Kade, but…”

There’s a harrowing sound downstairs as someone weeps louder, and I know it’s Aria. Lu is screaming at someone as wheels crunch over the gravel outside – she’s begging them to stay.

Base. He’s leaving?

He frowns and looks at the door over my shoulder. “What’s going on? Why’s my mum crying? Can you hear crying?”

He doesn’t wait for me to reply as he pushes away and side-steps me.

“Kade, no, wait!” I call after him as he heads to the door.

But when he swings it open, the sobs and wails become more prominent. He freezes for a beat, glances over his shoulder at me then rushes down the corridor.

I barely catch up to him before he’s heading down the stairs, bumping into walls and nearly falling over his feet.

“Kade!”

I almost slam into his back as he stops at the entrance of the sitting room. His brother’s body lies limp in his stepfather’s arms as he struggles to lift him towards the front door with Aria trailing behind, distraught.

All eyes turn to Kade.

“Kade.” I walk around him to see his face, his eyes searching the room. “I’m so, so sorry. I didn’t know how to tell you. I…” I trail off, stumped. “Kade.”

He doesn’t go to Jason’s body. He doesn’t move, blink or speak a word. He’s deadly quiet, his eyes darkening with every passing second.

Aria looks over her shoulder, and her face contorts when she sees him. She reaches her hand out to him. “Oh, sweetheart.”

But instead of walking to her, Kade takes a step back. Then another and another. He’s silent. Emotionless. Like a veil has fallen over his eyes and he can’t see the blood all over the ground or the dead bodies his mother steps over to reach for him.

He flinches away from her.

“Sir,” Barry says as he walks in, a bullet wound in his shoulder. “We need to leave this place. Tobias is gone. We need to leave. Right now. We’re getting the vehicles ready.”

Kade doesn’t acknowledge anyone.

Barry limps towards him. “We have Archie Sawyer. She’ll send her team to collect him. What are your orders?”

Barry is handing Kade back his power, the reins to what he built behind Bernadette’s back. He’s telling him to lead them on their next step. He’s giving him focus. A target. And when Kade eventually looks at him, I see it settling into his blood.

A devastating hunger for revenge.

“What happened to my dad and brother?” His voice is eerily calm.

Bless his soul, Barry doesn’t falter once as he tells him, “Your father made a deal to swap your freedom for his. Your files are wiped. But when they were leaving, Bernadette tried to shoot Stacey. Jason shielded her and took a bullet to the head.”

Kade glances at me and drags his gaze down my bloodied clothes then up again. When his eyes clash with mine, I see nothing but darkness behind them. No emotion except anger.

Any closeness we just had in the room is pushed aside as I watch him think.

His hands fist at his sides, his once sleepy eyes filled with something dark and sinister. I think of the videos I’ve seen of him torturing people. I think of the way he had no expression as someone begged for their life and said they had children. Or when he stalked people and drove them into a mental hole.

Regardless of that side of Kade, I still love him anyway.

He looks at Barry again. “Put Archie in the walk-in freezer in the manor and turn it off. I’ll deal with him. I want the place fully guarded. Call in everyone we have,” Kade orders in a deep voice, blinking as he rolls his neck and shoulders. “The fact she walked out of here, with my father no less, pisses me off, but I understand the situation.”

Barry nods. “I’ll make the calls now.”

“Good,” Kade replies, looking down at the puddle of blood on the floor where his brother was lying.

He’s so blank, I’m terrified. There aren’t any tears – just anger.

“They want a war?” he says. “Well let’s give them one.”