Chapter 34

Ipushed open the door, a gust of warm Florida wind nipping at my heels. Inside, shadows clung to the corners of the living room where Matt sat on the couch, a storm cloud of sulking silence around him. I greeted the void with a weary "hi" and set our daughter Angel on her feet, her tiny shoes pattering across the floor to her basket of toys.

"Matt?" My voice tiptoed around his brooding figure. No response. A sigh escaped his lips, a sound heavy with unspoken words. "Everything okay?"

"Does it look like everything"s okay?" His words, sharp-edged, cut through the stillness.

"Your exercises…" I began, hope threading my tone, "did you manage to do them today?"

"Did them," he grunted, eyes fixed on a distant spot on the wall.

"Where have you been?" His question sliced into the air, abrupt and demanding.

"I told you," I replied, a defensive edge creeping in. "The Chapman case. Sarah needs me."

"Sarah again?" He turned now to face me, hurt etching his features. "Why haven"t you told me more?"

"I did, Matt." My insistence felt frail against the weight of his stare.

"Did you?" Accusation wrapped around his words. "It doesn"t feel like it. It feels like you don"t trust me."

"Matt…."

"Stay home," he said, the plea soft but firm. "Help me instead. You"re putting yourself in danger. The kids, too. For what? There"s a detective on that case already."

"Sarah"s innocent," I whispered, the truth of it burning clear in my chest. "She needs me." I perched on the armrest, my fingers coiling into fists. "I"m trying to help a friend, Matt. I"m close to solving this. I got some very important information today."

"Helping?" He scoffed, his gaze piercing through me. "You call this helping? You"re obsessed!"

"Obsessed?" The word echoed in my chest, a hollow denial. "Steven Chapman is dead, Matt. And someone we know is being blamed for it?—"

"Someone we know, or you?" His voice rose, laced with frustration. "Every waking moment, it"s the case, the clues, Sarah"s innocence. What about us?"

"Us?" My throat tightened. "I'm doing this for us, too, for justice. Detective Ryan believes the neighbor Nicki killed herself, but…."

"Justice," he spat out the word as though it burned him. "What about the justice of having a partner who"s present, who's here with their family?"

"Matt—" I started, but his words steamrolled over mine.

"Present. Not just physically, but really here," he continued, his hands gesturing wildly, animating his anguish. "When was the last time we had a day without… without all this?"

"Without the truth? Without fairness?" I leaned in, my resolve hardening. "That"s not a world I can accept sitting down."

"Fairness?" He laughed, hollow and short. "Tell me about fairness when you miss another dinner, another bedtime story, because of "the case.""

"Because it matters!" I snapped, standing now, feeling the space between us stretch and strain.

"Does it? More than your own boyfriend? The father of your child?" He locked eyes with me, the hurt unmistakable. "I'm hurt. I need you. We all need you here. It's like you're running away from us because it's too much for you to handle."

"Matt, that"s not fair." My voice cracked, betraying my mounting desperation.

"Fair…." He shook his head, looking away. "You keep using that word, but I don"t think it means what you think it means. Not anymore."

I reached for his hand, the one lying dormant on the armrest. He flinched but didn"t pull away.

"Matt," I said gently, watching the conflict play across his face.

"Every time you walk out that door…." His voice trailed off, a haunted look in his eyes that I knew all too well. "It"s like I"m back on that floor, bleeding out, not knowing if I"d ever see you or Angel again. I'm scared, dang it. Don't you understand that? I'm terrified of losing you. This job… our line of work. It's… I'm scared, Eva Rae. Heck, I'm terrified even to go outside anymore."

My heart clenched. The memory of his broken body sprawled on the cold tiles flashed before me, a stark reminder of the risks we once took daily.

"Hey." I squeezed his hand tighter. "I"m here, Matt. I"m not going anywhere."

"Physically, maybe." He met my gaze, his eyes shimmering with unshed tears. "But emotionally? You"re miles away, lost in a case that"s chipping away at the edges of our lives. I got hurt doing what you"re doing now. And it terrifies me, every day, that history will repeat itself."

"Matt…."

"Promise me." His plea cut deep. "Promise me you won"t let this… obsession become more important than coming home to me. To us."

I searched his face, seeing the raw vulnerability of the man who had faced down criminals yet stood defenseless against his own fears.

"I promise," I whispered, feeling the weight of my words, the gravity of their meaning. "You, Angel, and all my kids are my world. I can"t lose you either."

"Then be here with us," he implored. "Really here."

"More balancing, less… tunnel vision. I can do that." I leaned in, pressing a kiss to his forehead, lingering in the comfort of his presence. "We"ll get through this together. I love you."

"I love you too." His voice was soft, and a tentative smile touched his lips as he wrapped an arm around me, pulling me closer. "Just… stay safe, okay?"

"Always."

The tension in the room thickened, pressing against my skin like a physical force. Matt"s gaze strayed to Angel, now curled up with her favorite stuffed bear on the other end of the couch.

"Look at her," he said, his voice barely above a whisper. "She"s so small, so vulnerable."

Angel"s tiny fingers twitched, clutching at the soft fur as if holding onto a lifeline.A concern grew inside me that I couldn't let go. Was Matt asking me to stop the investigation completely? Or just to stay safe?

"Matt, what are you saying?" My voice caught in my throat, the question emerging as an anxious croak. "I mean, what are you really saying?"

"Your work…." He paused, struggling to find the words. "It"s dangerous. And after… what happened to me, it"s not just your safety I worry about. It"s hers. It"s all of our kids' safety. What if something you"re tangled up in comes back here? Comes back to them?"

His fear was palpable, a living thing that crept into the corners of the room, wrapping around us like a cold fog. The memory of his shooting, the blood, the hospital beeps, they played in my head on a vicious loop.

"Matt, I"m sorry." The apology tumbled out, quick and sincere. "I didn"t mean to…."

"Sorry doesn"t cut it!" His hand balled into a fist, the knuckles whitening. "Not when it comes to their lives, to your life."

"I'm not gonna stop. I can't give up now. Sarah needs me." My voice was firm despite the quiver I fought to suppress. "She"s sitting in a cell for a crime I believe she didn"t commit. I can"t turn my back on her, not when she has no one else."

"Even if it means you're risking everything?" His eyes searched mine, pleading for understanding.

"Everything I do is to make sure we keep everything." My hand reached out, hovering before settling on his. "But I hear you, Matt. I"ll be more careful than ever. I can"t lose you or the kids either. Sarah"s innocence won"t mean much if I let my family fall apart."

"Promise?" His voice broke on the word, the single syllable heavy with unspoken dread.

"That I can promise." I squeezed his hand, a silent vow passing between us.

"Look at me, Matt." I waited until his eyes met mine, the shadows of fear still lingering. "I need you to understand something. Our family," my gaze flickered toward where Angel sat peacefully, "you are my world."

He watched me, a silent sentinel, waiting.

"But being a detective… it"s not just what I do. It"s part of who I am." The words hung between us, heavy with truth. "But I can?—"

"Will," he interjected.

"Will," I corrected, nodding. "Find a way to balance them better. Our relationship, our kids, they"ll come first. That"s my promise to you."

"Involve me," he said after a moment, his voice steadier than before. "Not just as your partner, but as someone who knows the dangers. Who"s lived them."

"Involve you?" I repeated, surprised.

"Information, updates, decisions—don"t shut me out. Maybe I can keep you safer if I"m in the loop." His hand gripped mine tighter. "I don"t want to lose you."

"Okay." It was a simple word, but it sealed an unspoken pact. "Together, then. We tackle this together."

"Exactly." Matt exhaled, the tension in his shoulders easing. "We"re a team, right?"

"Right." I smiled, letting his strength seep into me. "Team us."

"Team us," he echoed, a faint smile touching the corners of his lips.

Leaning in, I brushed a kiss against Matt"s forehead. His eyes, once clouded with doubt and fear, softened under the warmth of my lips.

"Thank you," I whispered, tracing the line of his jaw with my fingertips, feeling the stubble that spoke of days spent worrying.

"For what?" he murmured, his hand finding its way to the small of my back, pulling me closer on the couch.

"Listening. Understanding."

He chuckled quietly, a sound that danced against the tension that had surrounded us. "I think I should be thanking you."

"Matt…."

"Shh." He pressed a finger to my lips, silencing me. "Let me speak, okay?"

"Okay," I conceded, my voice a mere breath as I settled into the crook of his arm.

"I am trying to fight it, you know?" His admission was raw and vulnerable. "But ever since the shooting, everything feels… fragile."

"Life is fragile," I said, tilting my head to meet his gaze.

"Exactly. Which is why—" Matt paused, searching my face, "—I can"t bear the thought of losing you—not to the job, not to anything."

"Hey, look at me." I cupped his cheek, urging him to understand. "You won"t lose me. I"m right here."

"Promise?" The word hung between us, a plea for reassurance.

"Promise." I sealed it with a kiss, gentle and lingering, a testament to the depth of our bond.

"Okay," he breathed out as we parted, his thumb caressing my cheek. "Okay."

"Team us, remember?" I repeated, then smiled, nudging his nose with mine.

"Always, team us." His smile matched mine, a mirror of relief and love.

As the weight of our promises hung in the air between us, a sense of unity settled over the room, wrapping around us like a shield against the dangers lurking outside. Matt"s hand found mine, fingers intertwining in a silent vow to face whatever came our way together.

"I love you," he said, his voice a soft declaration that filled the space with warmth.

"I love you too," I replied, my heart swelling with gratitude for having him by my side.