Epilogue

MILA

For the two of us, home isn't a place. It is a person.

And we are finally home.

~ Stephanie Perkins, Anna and the French Kiss

"This place is the cutest!" Ben makes his voice into a falsetto while he looks around at Kalaine and Bodhi's new house after he walks through the front door.

He acts like it's the first time he's been here, even though he actually helped with the move and has been here more than a few times over the past months since Kalaine and Bodhi settled in.

"Ben. Seriously?" his wife, Summer, says. "Sorry, guys. I can only do so much over here. But I'm open to suggestions!"

She acts as if she's exasperated, but she's smiling up into Ben's eyes as he leans down and kisses her on the cheek.

"I'm the worst. I know," Ben says to Summer, still holding her close and saying the words into the top of her head.

"The very worst." Summer smiles, and kisses him on the cheek.

I laugh at Ben's silliness.

"Don't laugh. You'll encourage him," Kai tells me.

Kai's also smiling, despite himself. You can't help but smile at Ben's antics. Then again, whenever Kai looks at me, he smiles. We've been dating for six months. Officially, real, out-in-the-open dating. Kai's been doing everything he said he would that night he imagined what we might be like together.

He comes by the inn several nights a week, sometimes for dinner, other times after. Once a week he arranges for someone to cover the inn so he can take me out dancing, or to dinner, or for a walk on the beach under the stars.

Noah's thrilled. I worried myself sick about rocking his world, shaking the foundation and ruining things if I brought a man into our lives. And our lives probably would have gone through all that and more—if the man I allowed into our lives wasn't Kai.

Bodhi whistles through his fingers and the chatter dies down. "Sorry! We'll let you guys get back to it in a minute. I just wanted to say, Mavs and I are so grateful you could be here at our official housewarming."

Kalaine is standing next to Bodhi. He's got his arm around her back and she's got one hand behind him and another resting softly on her abdomen.

Kalaine and Bodhi came back from their honeymoon and lived with Kai for two months. They put an offer in on this house the day it went up for sale. It's only one block over from Kai's home. The day after they bid, their offer was accepted. Two days later they left on their next surf trip. This time they were gone for a whole month.

Bodhi looks at Kalaine. "You want to tell them what to do next or should I?"

"You," Kalaine says.

Bodhi smiles around at the group of friends gathered in their home. "Around the room, you'll see envelopes sitting in stacks. We'd love it if each one of you would grab one and not open it quite yet. Just hold on to it. When I count down from three, everyone open your envelope at once. Okay?"

The group of about thirty people gathered in the front living room all say, "Okay."

Kai grabs two envelopes and hands me one.

People murmur, trying to guess what's inside.

I look up at Kai. "It's their housewarming, and they're giving us a gift?"

He shrugs.

Once everyone has an envelope in hand, Bodhi looks at Kalaine. "Count down with me, Mavs."

The two of them count down together. "Three … two … one … Open!"

I tug at the seal of the envelope as the sound of ripping paper fills the room, followed by gasps and exclamations of, "Oh my gosh!" and "Congratulations!"

Kai's mouth drops open. He runs over to his sister and Bodhi.

I reread the announcement in my hand.

Get ready to welcome the next surfer

to the Merrick family.

We're expecting!

Bodhi & Kalaine

Kai's hugging Kalaine and then he and Bodhi embrace and clap one another on the backs.

"You're officially an uncle, bro!" Bodhi says.

People crowd around Kalaine and Bodhi, congratulating them and giving them hugs.

Once the excitement dies down, we move the party to the back yard where Kai and Bodhi man the barbecue. People fill their plates with grilled meat and side dishes from the folding tables off to the side of the lawn. Twinkle lights have been strung overhead, and clusters of patio furniture tastefully sit around the firepit and on a few other patios. The property has a long yard that stretches back, so even though the houses next door on both sides are relatively close, there's a lot of room for entertaining.

Throughout the night, Kai's eyes keep finding mine. When he's finished manning the barbecue, he's at my side, looping his arm around me and kissing the top of my head. And when everyone's finished eating, I'm sitting sideways across his lap as if I'm in my twenties, not a thirty-year-old mom with a seven-and-a-half-year-old son.

"You look beautiful tonight," Kai murmurs into my ear.

I giggle. "In this?"

I'm wearing a white tank top and the orange oversized sweater I brought to ward off the chill of the evening breeze. My hair is up in what was a pulled-together messy bun, but after a night of helping Kalaine with setup for the party and being held by Kai, I'm sure it's putting the messy in messy bun.

"You look beautiful in anything and everything."

"Hey, you two!" Ben shouts over at me and Kai. "Want to share with the class?"

Summer playfully smacks Ben on the arm. "Leave them alone. They're adorable."

"Thanks," I say, leaning into Kai when he tugs me closer.

I don't know when this thing between the two of us will start to lose its magic. I have a hunch it may be a while, if ever. I wake up daily, thankful, and sort of in awe that Kai is actually my boyfriend.

I love him so much. If two people could be intertwined and woven together, I'd find the seamstress to do it. I never want to leave his side, to have him far from me again. After spending those few months pretending, it feels like every day together is a gift we didn't ever know we'd actually have.

I want to spend the rest of my life with Kai Kapule. He hasn't officially asked, but we've talked about the future with the assumption that's where we're headed. I'm grateful he's been sensitive to Noah's need to adjust, despite the fact that my son regularly asks us when we're going to get married so Kai can just move in already. His words, exactly.

And, I'm not sure Noah and I will have Kai move into the inn. Maybe we'll live at Kai's home and hire someone to caretake overnight at Mila's Place. We haven't gotten that far.

But I'm enjoying every single moment along the way: watching Kai tinker around the inn, baking him something that makes him close his eyes and hum with appreciation, sneaking hidden glances at him when he's playing with Noah or they're having one of their famous man-to-man talks, laughing at how he denies loving Shaka, studying him, inching my way beneath his outer layer to his secretly soft center—a place he seems to only let a few people share—and I'm one of the lucky ones.

I can barely believe I'm allowed to hold his hand, kiss him, wrap my arm around him, sit in his lap, or lean on his shoulder while he rocks us on the porch swing anytime I want. I wanted to touch him every day we were faking, and now, sometimes for the briefest moment, I forget I can. And when I remember, I feel nearly giddy with the reality.

Most importantly, I've given Kai access to places in my soul I had kept boarded shut. He earned entrance through his patient, steady devotion to me over the four years of our friendship, and even more so those few months while we pulled off our farce. Since then, he's blown the walls off all my hesitation and fear until all that's left is him and me and a kind of hope I never thought I'd experience again.

I look forward to the time when he'll be drinking coffee next to me in the morning, and holding me as we wrap up our days together, my head on his chest, his steady heartbeat a home for me and me alone. I want to give him all of me. And I want to explore this man for the rest of our days together on earth—even as we age and lose pieces of ourselves we imagined were immortal.

He's the one. Kai's my one.

The fire in the firepit starts to burn to embers, and people start saying their goodbyes a few hours after dinner. Kai and I stay to help clean up and wash dishes.

Then we walk to his house where he parked a golf cart to drive me back to the inn.

We're driving along the street that passes in front of the Alicante when Kai pulls over and parks the golf cart.

"What are we doing?" I ask.

"I have something I need to show you at the shack. Then I'll get you home."

"Okaaay?" The word comes out like a question.

What could Kai possibly need to show me at the shack at this hour?

He comes around the golf cart and extends his hand. I place my palm in his and we walk toward the water's edge in a quiet comfort together.

Kai seems to grow a little tense as we near the dock where the shack sits overlooking the ocean.

"Are you okay?" I ask.

It's the first time I considered that what he wants to show me might not be a good surprise. Maybe something happened at work and he'd rather show me than tell me. I prepare myself for anything as we round the pylons that support the dock and approach a spot on the sand where someone has lit tiki torches and placed seashells all over the ground in little formations of hearts with flower petals scattered all over the sand.

"This is beautiful," I tell Kai. "I wonder who did this."

"This is what I wanted to show you."

"Was it here when you left work this evening for the party?"

"No," Kai clasps both my hands and faces me. "It wasn't. I had Ben and Jamison come out here while we cleaned up at Bodhi and Kala's"

"You had the guys do this?"

"I did."

"It's beautiful …"

Before I can ask him why, Kai looks down at me and slowly, never breaking my gaze, he drops to one knee.

I hold my breath, gazing down at this amazing, thoughtful, gorgeous man who always shows up for me—the man who stole my heart and returned it to me more whole than it's ever been.

"Mila," Kai's voice is scratchy with emotion. "You're everything to me. We had to go through faking a relationship to wake ourselves up to what was evident to everyone who knew us well. And once I realized how much I loved you, it was like a curtain peeled back and I saw all the moments, all the tiny, seemingly insignificant ways I had fallen bit by bit for you over the years we were friends.

"Then I knew. I had never been pretending to love you. What we have is real. And when you find something real, you risk everything for it. You toss out your shoulds, and your rules, and your expectations, and you jump in headlong. Because when it's real, you can leap, knowing someone will always be there to catch you. So I risked, and I wrote you the letter."

"The one I framed and keep on my bedside table," I say with a smile that feels like it comes from all the way inside my heart—from the place that used to feel unreachable and broken.

Kai smiles and his eyes crinkle at the edges.

"I never felt so nervous as I did that night. I filled an entire wastebasket with wadded attempts at getting my words out. It felt like my entire future and our shared happiness hung on my ability to show you my heart in that letter."

"Oh, Kai."

"The truth was, that letter would have only been my first attempt. I realized later, if you hadn't said yes then, I wasn't going to give up. Because I knew. Somewhere deep inside, I knew we'd get to this day somehow. And here we are."

He reaches up and dabs a tear from his eye.

Then he continues. "I asked Noah earlier today if he'd give me permission to ask for your hand in marriage. He gave us his blessing." Kai chuckles. "That's a story for another day."

Kai swipes another tear from his eye with his thumb. And I can't help myself. I drop to my knees in front of him and pull him into my arms.

"I love you, Kai Kapule." I sniff away the tears forming in my eyes.

Kai murmurs a declaration into my hair as we kneel together, embracing on the sand. "I love you, Mila. You're everything to me. My sunrise and sunset, and the sweetest ocean breeze. You're the warmth of home and my place of comfort, laughter, and desire. I love you with an insatiable ache—one only you can quench. I never knew it could be like this."

Kai puts his hands on my upper arms and holds me away from him just far enough so he can look into my eyes. And then he asks me the question I have been dreaming of hearing for months.

"Mila, will you do me the honor of becoming my wife? I want to spend the rest of my life loving you, sharing a home with you, and parenting Noah together."

"Yes! Oh, Kai! I love you so much!"

Kai's smile fills his face, he closes his eyes like he's savoring one of my chocolate tarts, and then he pulls both of us to our feet. He reaches out and cups my face in his hand. When he leans in, the kiss he places on my lips is tender and reverent, full of emotion. I loop my hand behind his neck and hold him to me. He tugs me close and we kiss like we're the only two people on earth, and this small piece of beach with tikis and shells and flower petals is our universe.

Just Me and Kai, alone.

Until there's a shout from above us on the dock—more like a whoop.

"Oh yeah, boss! That's how it's done! Proposing like a boss!"

Kai looks up at Ben, who is leaning over the railing waving his cell phone. "I got it all on video. I'll airdrop it to you so you've got this memory forever!"

"You're fired!" Kai shouts up at Ben.

"Am I fired too?" Jamison's head pops over the railing next to Ben's.

I cover my face in mortification, but I'm laughing.

"You gonna fire me too?" Bodhi joins his friends, looking down at me and Kai and waving.

"Work at watersports, they said," Kai looks at me shaking his head. "It'll be fun, they said."

I laugh. "You love them."

"No," Kai corrects me. "I love you. I barely tolerate these yay-hoos."

"You love us. Admit it boss!" Ben shouts down.

A woman's voice carries down the dock from further up the beach. "Ben Hayes, what are you doing?" Summer. Coming to get her husband.

Kai and I look at one another and laugh.

"Summer! Babe! You've got to see this. Kai just proposed to Mila. I've got the whole thing on video!"

Summer leans over the balcony and waves at me and Kai. "Congratulations, you two! I'll just be taking my man-child home now. Carry on!"

"Party pooper," Ben teases Summer, but then he turns and shouts down to us. "In all seriousness, guys, we're so happy for you. You're perfect for one another. And I won't post this on my socials—that's how much I love you."

Kai shakes his head. We wave up at the watersports guys as they turn to actually leave us alone, for real this time.

"Are you sure you want to commit to me?" Kai asks. "I think they may be part of the package."

"I've never been more sure of anything in my life."

"Me either, Hot Dog."

I playfully punch Kai's arm, pretending I don't love the nickname he gave me when we were still finding our way to one another through all the pretense.

And then, in a very uncharacteristic move, my future husband lets out a whoop that puts Ben to shame. He picks me up and spins me around.

I'm giggling with a happiness I don't even recognize.

"My future wife!" Kai shouts as he gently sets me back on the sand.

He studies my face, a look of awe in his eyes. "Just to be clear, you said yes, right?"

"Yes. I said yes." I chuckle. "Yes, Kai. One hundred times yes. You're everything I want—my best friend, someone who watches over me, a man who believes in me … the way you love Noah. It's more than I allowed myself to believe I could have."

"You're everything to me, Mila. You and Noah. I love you."

"I love you too."

He looks down at me with such joy radiating off him it's contagious. And then he says, "Oh! I nearly forgot!"

Kai digs into his pocket and pulls out a box. When he carefully opens it, my hand flies up to my mouth. It's a ring with a diamond that glistens in the torchlight. He pulls the ring out and slips it onto my finger. And then he pulls something else out of his pocket. It's a soft velvet bag, no bigger than the ring box. He slips the contents into his hand, and when he holds it up, fresh tears threaten to fall from my eyes. It's a gold chain, and on the end of it is a sea star charm.

"Thank you for not bouncing away," he says, holding my gaze as he sweeps the stray hairs off my neck and secures the clasp.

"I'll never. You can hold me forever. You are my safe place, Kai."

He leans in and kisses me, without a balcony of witnesses, and I open to him, returning his kiss and melting into the space between us, the gift we've found in each other. When we separate, Kai weaves my fingers through his, and we walk hand in hand toward the golf cart so he can drive me to our inn—the one we'll be running together for years to come.