16. Mila

SIXTEEN

I am a drifter without you,

you anchor me when all the world

is spinning around.

~ Unknown

The inn phone rings at the reception desk midday. We have caller I.D. and my breath catches when I see the name on the display.

Brad.

He said he'd give me space to decide about Noah. I'm not completely surprised that he isn't waiting for me to be the one to call. For one thing, Brad never was known for his patience when it came to getting something he wanted. He wasn't mean or selfish about it, just insistent and relentless. I used to see those qualities as admirable. And, on one hand, and in certain circumstances, they are. But when it comes to my son, Brad should know better. I need time. He bowled me over by showing up unannounced. I shouldn't have to answer to him so soon. And our next interaction should be on my terms.

After the fourth ring, I take a big breath, release it in a whoosh, and pick up the phone.

"Mila's Place, may I help you?"

"Mila's Place? That's a cute name, Mila."

When Brad and I were originally dreaming about the inn, we had a name. It flashes in my mind like words on a marquis: Swanson Place.

Brad's last name.

Our last name.

Not my last name anymore.

Or ever again.

And not Noah's last name ever. I gave Noah my name—because he's mine.

"Brad?" I act surprised. It's the best reaction I've got when he's ambushing me for the second time in a week.

"Yeah. It's me. Listen, I know I told you I'd wait about Noah. And I will. I just wanted you to know something. I think you have a right to know."

I sit down in the chair behind the reception desk. Something tells me I ought to be seated for whatever Brad's about to say.

"Go ahead," I tell him.

"Well, you know how I'm planning to expand the business?"

"Yeah?"

"I got a call from my realtor on Marbella. You know that old Boy Scout camp at Outriggers Cove?"

My stomach starts to roil and I wonder if there's enough air in the room because it's a little hard to catch my next breath.

I manage to say, "Yeah."

"Well, that place is up for sale. Not the whole camp, but the bait shop and the dock area with that other little outbuilding. You know the one. We snuck down there …"

I cut him off, not needing to place one foot on memory lane, let alone take a stroll down it.

"Yeah. I know the buildings. So, you're buying them?"

"I am. I had to. It's too good. I thought I'd have to find beachfront property and develop it. This way, I only have to do renos. And, what's even better?" He doesn't even pause to let me guess, which is honestly mostly a relief. "I am buying the house on the back part of the property. You know, when you walk past the cabins where the Scouts used to stay? That house up the hill, the one with the ocean views? That's the one."

"You're … moving here?"

Now I know the oxygen has left the room. I'm actually feeling dizzy.

"Not full time. I'll still keep my home in Santa Barbara. It will be more convenient while I'm setting up the business if I have a home on Marbella. And, anytime I need to come oversee the project, or later on, the business, I can stay in my island house. I'm going to eventually turn that into an AirBnB listing. Or Vrbo. Whatever. I'll have my property management company oversee it. Then I can just rent it out the rest of the time I'm not staying there. It's basically an investment."

"An investment," I echo like a dying parrot.

Brad's voice lowers. "I'm not trying to crowd you, Mila. I'll stay out of your way. But …" he has the decency to pause. "If you do decide I can be in Noah's life, it will also make it more convenient for me to see him. I can stay over at my Marbella place on days you agree to let me see our son … or whatever."

Our son. The words feel like a bitter pill.

"Stay over," I repeat.

"At my house, of course. Not yours. Not the inn, I mean." It almost seems like he has more to say.

I feel his unspoken hope hanging in the air.

"Well, of course, not here. I mean, I have a boyfriend."

I shouldn't throw my fake relationship with Kai around so freely.

"I know, Mila. I met him."

The memory of the day Brad met Kai settles me a little, as if Kai were right here, his arm around my waist, holding me up. It's probably not right to rely on him for strength like I do, but I can't help my reaction to Kai. He's strong and protective, and I need all the reinforcement I can get. After all, Kai was the one who told Brad he was my boyfriend in the first place. I didn't stop him, though. And I haven't stopped him since. Now, I'm pulling that lie out of my pocket so easily it's a little frightening.

"Well, thanks for letting me know," I say, hoping to wrap up the call sooner than later.

"Right. Well. There's one more thing."

"What's that?"

I don't think I can take one more revelation from Brad today.

Brad says, "I have a timeline."

And then the door of the inn swings open and Kai walks in. He takes one look at me and his casual gait turns into long, purposeful strides. He's at the reception desk before I even blink.

"What's wrong?" he mouths to me.

"Brad," I mouth back.

Kai rounds the desk and sticks his hand out as if he expects me to hand the phone over so he can step in and take the call for me.

I shake my head. "I've got this," I mouth.

Kai places a reassuring hand on my shoulder and my whole body relaxes so instantly it's like I just got a massage.

Kai.

He did that.

And I don't know what to do about the fact that he matters so much to me. As a friend, yes. But I'm starting to wonder about the other layer of feelings that flit around in my belly these days whenever he's near, or when I reminisce about him teaching Noah to surf, and especially when I think about how Kai held me outside the watersports shack.

"What?" I say to Brad, realizing he's been elaborating on his timeline while I've been fully distracted by Kai's arrival.

"Is someone else there? Do you have guests? Want me to call you back?"

"No. Yes. Actually. Yes. And, no. Don't call me back. Kai just walked in. Sorry. You were saying?"

Kai smiles a smirky grin. He seems pleased with himself for throwing me off, or maybe he's just pleased that I mentioned his name and acknowledged his presence to Brad.

I smile back. I can't help it. Kai always makes me smile.

Brad lets out an audible sigh. "I was just saying, the agent representing the seller is in a hurry to push the sale, so we're in a remarkably short escrow. My down payment is cash, and my businesses are part of the assets I'm bringing into the equation, so all that helps speed things along. I'll start work on the property in two weeks. And I'll be out that way sooner to finalize the deal, to walk the property for inspection … you know. All the details that go into a sale."

"Two weeks," I say the words while looking at Kai.

Kai's brow furrows. He squeezes my shoulder in reassurance, even though he doesn't know what two weeks I'm even referring to.

My body warms from his touch and I clear my throat.

Kai's eyes lock on mine and I say the next sentence to Brad without looking away from Kai. Those honey-gold flecks embedded in cinnamon brown feel like a lifeline to me.

"Okay. Thanks for letting me know," I say.

Kai's face is warm, but serious, like a guard dog standing next to his owner, ready to pounce if only given the signal.

"I want to be upfront with you, Mila," Brad says. "I know I threw you off when I first came around, but I want you to know I'm not trying to get away with anything. I've changed. And I regret the foolish choices I made years ago. I hope you can give me a chance."

Foolish choices years ago? Those foolish choices continued every single day Brad didn't attempt to reach out. For each week, month, and year he stayed away, those choices dug a deeper hole. And now that trench plummets fathoms beyond what I can see. He didn't make a choice all those years ago. He continued to make that choice every minute of the past seven years.

Kai's eyes are still on mine and the crease in his forehead deepens in response to whatever my face is doing. He obviously senses my mental spiral.

"I'm okay," I mouth to Kai, even though I don't know what I am. Okay isn't anywhere near what I am.

Brad says he wants me to give him a chance, but I hear the unspoken "us." He wants me to give us a chance. And that's not happening—not today, and not ever.

It's just like Brad to see Kai as a little wooden roadblock rather than an impassable stone wall. It's not that Brad would condone cheating. He'd never expect me to see him and Kai at the same time. Not if Brad's anything like he was in the past. He was always prone to seeking adventure, but ethical in most things. But, knowing Brad like I do, he still has some twisted idea that I'm his. He obviously hopes that he'll be able to convince me the past choices he made were a mistake and now he's a new man—one I should consider dating again. And that means he sees Kai as a lapse on my part—a placeholder until Brad comes back to win my heart. Not happening. Ever.

Brad and I finish out the call and I hang up. Then I collapse back into my chair and Kai's hand slips away. I scold myself for missing the contact. I shouldn't want Kai's touch or miss it when we separate. I've got years to go before I even entertain the idea of actually dating a man.

"What was all that about?" Kai asks, his face filled with concern.

"Brad bought the Boy Scout camp."

"The … ?"

"It's a property on Outrigger Cove."

"I know the place. That's a huge outlay."

"Yeah. Well, apparently the used sporting goods business has done well for him. And, as a bonus, he bought the house at the back of that property."

I explain the whole conversation to Kai. He listens intently.

When I'm finished, Kai says, "This doesn't change anything. We're committed to faking a relationship. And Brad will see when he comes here that you aren't available. At least he informed you instead of just showing up on the island without warning."

"Yeah. I guess that is considerate," I concede. "And he's not demanding time with Noah."

"And, if he mainly stays in Outrigger Cove, you may not even know he's here on Marbella."

"Right."

Something tells me that's wishful thinking.

I try to sound optimistic when I say, "Besides, once Brad's got the business up and running, he will only come to the island sporadically. He'll have to rotate his time here between checking in on the other locations. It won't be enough for him to even notice if we're together or not. Then you and I can call things off."

Kai nods. An expression flashes across Kai's face. It almost looked like regret. I hope he'd tell me if he regretted setting this whole ball in motion. I'd let him off the hook. I'm sure he knows that.

"What brings you over here anyway?" I ask.

"Oh. My family. Kalaine and Bodhi Facetimed me with my parents today. And I told them we're dating."

"You did?"

"I didn't want them to come back and hear it from someone else."

"That makes sense."

"Especially now that Brad's coming here so soon."

I nod. Kai must pick up on how overwhelmed I am. As always, he jumps in to reassure me.

"I've got you, Mila. Don't let Brad throw you off. I'm always a phone call or text away. You aren't facing him alone."

Kai smiles down at me. Then he asks, "Did you eat lunch?"

"No. I've been busy going over reservations and making sure the confirmation emails went out to next week's guests. I'll grab something from the fridge in a bit. Or I'll just have a protein bar."

"Let me take you to Sebastian's for sandwiches," Kai suggests.

"Right now?"

"Yeah. Or I could go pick them up and bring them back here?"

"No. I should get out of here and clear my head. Give me a minute?"

"Sure. I'll just wait on the porch."