Chapter 18

Chapter

Eighteen

VICTORIA

I was truly on my own thanks to my inability to process all the bullshit in my life. My judgement was cracked, and that is the only reason I could find for allowing Jordan to come over and explain everything to me. Supposedly, she told me the truth that time, and it was just ugly enough that I believed her.

I also felt sorry for her. She had been invested in having a happily ever after ending with my brother for longer than I had even known Devin. Part of me understood how big those feelings could be, especially since I’d blocked Dev for real over the past couple weeks and he hadn’t even attempted to come see me in person again.

My life consisted of work, home, blubbering into my covers about how sad my existence was and then repeating everything again the next day. If a person could be stuck in a Groundhog Day scenario - it would resemble my life. The one thing that changed were my outfits and the meals that I didn’t have the stomach to eat.

I shouldn’t be this torn up over a man.

My logical brain knew that. It for sure knew that I shouldn’t sabotage my family relationships just to keep my suffering quiet. That bit of logic was overruled by my feelings too. My parents called to tell me that I wasn’t welcome back home until I made a genuine apology to Becs and my brother. While I wanted to do that, I refused. If I did it, there would be questions and those questions would lead to answers I didn’t want them to have about my life.

Despite Jordan telling me her whole sad tale, including how my mother invited her to my brothers’ wedding, and me understanding, she wasn’t even around anymore for me to talk to.

I could have really used a friend around, one who wasn’t caught up in her own bullshit, because that meant I hadn’t even been invited to their wedding. My parents must have meant business when they said I wasn’t invited to come around until I apologized for my behavior toward Becs and Austin. I found it insulting that my mother invited Jordan - the person they were all angry with me for bringing to dinner, but I was a pariah.

It was after that revelation that I called a therapist and scheduled my first visit. I honest to God, could not handle the abandonment from everyone. I knew that part of it was my fault because I had pushed everyone away to keep them from knowing how much I hurt. Still, two of my little brothers got married and I was left out while the woman who caused all the drama between everyone was invited. It felt like a slap in the face. First, Justice stole my future and the love of my life, then my family disowned me because I took Jordan at her word and tried to protect her from the same heartache I suffered.

Life was unfair and I needed help to deal with it.

That was why I decided to crash my family’s dinner. No, it wasn’t my therapist’s idea. She did tell me that I needed to own up to my part of hurting someone else and apologize to Becs, but only if I meant it. Considering I never meant to hurt her, that was an easy ask. I had to remember that my own reasons for doing what I did could stay private, especially since they’d just sound like awful excuses anyway.

Once again, I walked in on a family dinner that started without me. It was like my family completely forgot about me. I looked around and noticed my father wiping some tears free of my mother’s face and immediately my hackles went up.

“Proud of you,” I heard him mumble to her.

“Why is my mother crying?”

“It’s of no matter to you,” Mom called out, as if I was no one. I didn’t think I had a heart left to injure, but I’d been wrong. Oh, so very wrong.

“Okay, whatever.” I guess we were going back to plan A - become the family disappointment and fully commit to pushing them away since they never even missed me or bothered to wonder what had made me so angry, sad, and bitter anyway. It was like no one saw my pain because their lives were all perfect and they didn’t want to disrupt the good by dealing with me. Ugh! I was legitimately going crazy as I took my normal seat and then narrowed my eyes at Becs.

Don’t do it! Don’t do it! Don’t do it!

Chanting away the intrusive thoughts didn’t work. Nope. Instead, I threw the ugly out at the newest family member. “I hope you’re happy with yourself.”

“Fuck Vic! What now?” Austin grunted out from across the table as I continued to stare at his girlfriend - wife. Wasn’t it lovely that everyone was getting married around me, including my own boyfriend.

“Jordan is moving away, as in out of town. It isn’t fair that I couldn’t even invite her over for one last family dinner, so she could say goodbye before she leaves tomorrow, all because she’s here.” As far as I knew, Jordan had already left. We hadn’t spoken again after she told me everything from the beginning until we were caught up where we left off at the last family dinner I mistakenly brought her to.

“All you had to do was text your brother that she was coming to dinner tonight, and we wouldn’t have shown up,” Becs tried to be graceful about me going on the attack again, bless her. If only she knew that I was using her as the catalyst to finish blowing up my life. My therapist would be appalled and yet I couldn’t stop the vile words from flowing free.

“So, you’re just going to hold my brother hostage and not allow him to say goodbye to his life-long friend?”

“As I told everyone at my wedding , you know the one you failed to even show up to?” He questioned as if I had received an invite. My mother’s face turned notably red and I realized that my brothers might not have realized that I hadn’t been extended and invitation. “I already said my goodbyes to Jordan. She burned all her bridges with me.”

“Because of her,” I pointed at Becs while I really wanted to ask my mother why she stopped loving me.

“No,” Houston, the oldest of my brothers, stood up and walked around the table to where I sat. “Austin let Jordan go because she could never be honest, and she was always sabotaging his life. Shit, Vic, she tried to bring down our fucking bar, too.”

“No, she didn’t.” Jordan hadn’t said a word to me about the bar when we talked.

“Yeah, she did. Ask her about the sexual harassment claim she lobbed against your brother. It wasn’t just the drama with the fake baby, or any of the other lies to get Becs away from him over the years. She lied to the authorities about him sexually harassing her and threatening to fire her if she didn’t ‘perform’ for him.”

“What?” I asked as my eyes turned back to Austin to see if it was true.

“It happened during the time when we weren’t really speaking, but after I learned she faked her pregnancy. We let her go from her job and she tried to make a claim for unemployment, despite getting a severance package. She tried to claim that was hush money.”

“Oh, dear Lord,” Mom cried from her end of the table. “Why didn’t you boys tell us? That makes what I did even worse.”

“No, it doesn’t.” Becs comforted my mother as my father beamed at her for it.

“Why would she do that?” I asked the question, though I hadn’t realized I had done so out loud until the answer found me.

“Why did she do any of the bullshit she did?” Austin asked.

“The girl was fucking disturbed, and it took unraveling her lies to finally see it because none of us wanted to notice before.”

“Hopefully, she gets some fucking therapy wherever she ends up,” Dallas chimed in as he filled his plate while everyone else was too busy to complain.

“Vic, I know you want to believe the best in her because you took her under your wing after her mom died, but it’s no one’s fault she’s leaving town. She made that choice on her own, just like she chose to start all the drama she did.” Houston sat back down and tucked his wife up in his embrace. Jealousy lit through me, but I knew when to let some things go.

“You all act like Austin’s girlfriend-”

“Wife,” Austin corrected me without missing a beat.

“Whatever, you act like she’s not the real reason.”

“That’s because she’s not, Vic,” Houston cut in again. “I don’t know why you felt compelled to come throw this fit tonight, but it’s not cool. Get your facts and priorities straight before running your damn mouth. One day, you’re going to realize life isn’t as simple as you try to make it out to be.”

Yeah, little bro, I already know that.

“Oh, she knows, since she’s dating a married man,” Katy piped up. I hadn’t even noticed she was at the table, and honestly, while I deserved shit to be thrown at me, I didn’t expect it to come from my little sister.

“What the fuck?” Dallas snarled as he turned toward me. “Tell me you’re not!”

All the color drained from my face as I faced my youngest brother and Devin’s best friend. Then. I stood and fled my family home once again. I could hear Katy spill my secrets to everyone as I left. It was probably for the best that she didn’t know the whole sordid tale.