Episode Forty-Seven Call Me Haz

H azlan

By keeping up a steady stream of chatter, I'm trying not to let my new mates know I'm worried. I'm laughing at Eldar's jokes, which I admit are usually funny, and grabbing Lylah's hand to nuzzle from time to time. The closer we get to the Village, the tighter my jaw clamps as my anxiety rises.

I was stolen when I was so young. Since then, I've never seen another of my kind. Even if no other proudborns are at the camp, everyone will see my deformity even if I keep my wings tucked tightly against my body.

Although it seems our pack is an odd assortment, Zoron says it's the law of the land. It was decided all human females should have at least three mates of different species to build lasting alliances so there is no more war Down Below.

It's not our mating that worries me, though. It's me.

"Azael is the monk leader," Zoron says. "He helped plan the attack on the Works. The Village was his community long before the throngs came from far and wide to form an army. He knew about the Energy Transfer with you two. I imagine he'll want to meet with us when we arrive, to see how we're doing. Then we'll have to find a place to bed down."

He stops walking and turns to face me, his brow lowered in concern. "I'm your mate as surely as Lylah is," he says. "Like it or not, we have a matebond."

Perhaps he's referring to my avoidance of mating the elf last night. Although I bit Zoron, I told them I wasn't ready to bite the elf. To be honest, I'm not sure I'll ever be ready to have sex with him. Eldar looked relieved, not angry. Perhaps he feels the same way I do. It's not something I'm going to worry about right now.

"You're unhappy," Zoron says, then shakes his head. "No, not unhappy. You're worried. Tell us. That's the beauty of our coalition. We're a team. You have a built-in group of people who care about you."

His simple words strike me so hard I shiver with their import. I may have wanted to deny it, but he's right. There are three people who will care for me no matter what. As long as I can remember, I have been alone. I don't have to struggle by myself anymore.

I open my wings and extend them for Zoron and Eldar to see, fully exposing my shame to them for the first time.

Zoron isn't shy. He steps closer and gently examines the blunt edges where the humans cut my wings.

"Does it hurt?"

"Just my pride."

There's a sharp pain in my chest I've never felt before. It strikes me this isn't my emotion, it's my centaur mate's. Zoron's compassion is so full and deep it touches me. It makes me feel important and loved in perhaps a deeper way than I did last night while connecting with the three of them in the furs.

"A proudborn with injured pride. A terrible thing," Zoron says, his voice serious and full of concern. "You're worried about being accepted in the Village?"

"Aye."

He stands taller, though he's already more than a head taller than me, and puffs out his chest.

"Listen here, proudborn. Our coalition is more than what we shared last night. It's about far more than sex. That would cheapen it. I won't allow that."

The male is usually so calm, so affable. I've never seen him so full of passion.

"We are your mates. Even Eldar. Do you think the three of us care if you and he ever fuck? What we have is more than that. More than cocks and holes and even bites. What we have is deeper than that. We are a family. And it's forever . Get that?"

If I didn't understand the depths of our connection before, it's dawning on me now.

"All three of us care about you beyond measure. Your pain is our pain. Your battles are our battles. Do. You. Understand?"

"I'm beginning to." My voice is rough, my gaze caught in his.

"Eldar?" Zoron moves his right hand from where he's holding Lylah's ankle onto the elf's knee.

"Aye." Eldar replies with conviction. "I was reluctant and even resentful that doing the ‘right thing' to save both of you was going to damage the bond I have with Zoron. I was so wrong. It's made it deeper. Even if we never physically couple, Hazlan, you are my mate. I will always have your back."

Zoron squeezes the elf's knee and returns it to Lylah's leg.

"If anyone says one thing meant to hurt you, the three of us will go to battle for you. Understand?"

I nod.

"Even you, Lylah. Right?" he asks, but doesn't remove his piercing green gaze from mine.

"Yes." Her voice is high and clear, leaving no room to doubt her sincerity.

"I'd like to believe no one will say anything negative, but most of us Down Below have had it rough. We may not have learned the nicest ways of getting along. If anyone bothers you, just remember, if one of us is cut, four of us will bleed."

I didn't know the matebond was so strong. Perhaps he sees my surprise, because he adds, "In spirit, Hazlan. When you're hurt, it will touch our souls."

"Call me Haz," I blurt. "Both of you." It's my way of acknowledging the depth of our new bond.

"I'm honored."