Episode Forty Picture It

L ylah

We just almost died, which makes it even more bizarre that I feel like shouting to the forest how happy I am.

I settle down, trying to school my features into their bland resting place. This is what I've done my whole life, trying to hide the rich thoughts inside my head from prying male eyes.

The thought slams into me that I don't need to do this anymore. I'm a free woman. I have males who care about me and cherish me. They think I'm a gift. Not in the way I was Up Above, where I was literally used as a gift to curry favor and money. No. These three males think of me as a true gift, something to treasure.

When I ask myself what Eldar and Zoron would think if I told them I was hiding my true feelings right now, that I was hiding my self, it would disappoint them.

I vow to do something scary, perhaps more terrifying than being attacked by those men earlier today.

I'm going to expose my true self to these males. My mates.

Leaning on one hip, I turn toward Eldar and throw my arms around his powerful chest.

"That was amazing, Eldar. It felt so…" The only word I can think of is amazing and I already said that. "So fucking good."

If my arms weren't holding him so tightly, I'd cover my mouth to hide my bashfulness at saying the word.

"Yes, Lylah. Very fucking good," he says with a grin.

"And you." I nip his chin. "I like you." I let him hear the wonder in my voice. I don't need to keep the secret that my affection for him surprises me.

"The feeling is mutual," he says, his blue eyes shining with pleasure.

He kisses me. He doesn't take this opportunity to deepen it, force it into something sexual, because that's not where my mind is at. No. It's a sweet kiss similar to what I've seen him share with Zoron when they can't contain their need to show their affection for each other. If my heart wasn't open to him before, it certainly is now.

When we release each other, I lean forward and surround Zoron's chest with a solid hug, then tighten it even more.

"I've never been this happy," I tell them both. "Zoron, I offered to mate you the other day. You suggested we postpone it. I'll wait forever for you, but let me just tell you, I'm excited to become your mate."

He'd been trotting, but he slows to a walk and then stops. He turns to look at us and smiles. His gaze misses nothing. Not the relaxed smile on my face or the way Eldar's arms surround my waist, my belt still loosened from our sex play.

He gently grips my chin as our gazes connect.

"I've been waiting for everything to be right between all four of us," he says. "When Hazlan joins us tonight, we'll ensure we're all ready to become a true mated pack. This was too important to rush."

I reach to kiss him, and the simple brush of his warm lips on mine sends tingles to parts of my body I thought were sated. Sexual desire is new to me, but it's another thing I want to embrace in this new life of mine.

"I want you," I tell him and thrill that I'm not feeling shy about admitting such a thing.

"And I you."

I don't miss the look that passes over my head from him to his beloved elf. When I turn to look at Eldar, he's nodding. Far from resenting his mate's growing bond with me, he seems to approve.

"I have to ask." Oh, I'm growing bolder by the second. "How exactly would that work?" And bolder yet, I add, "I want to be able to picture it while we ride north."