Episode Twenty-Three I’m Ready When You Are

L ylah

My eyes are filled with tears as I stumble back toward the cabin. Haz and I were lying on the thick bearskin, basking in our affection for each other after we explored each other's bodies for the second time this morning.

I was thinking how lucky I am to have a male like this after living for years suffering the abuses of various men. Suddenly, I felt as if I'd been pierced through the heart. A moment later, Haz was hit with a similar feeling so agonizing he roared and doubled up in pain.

We quickly assumed this was a result of the matebond and made our way south, pushing ourselves through the discomfort. The closer we got to the cabin, the more it eased.

Just when I see the aged wooden structure, I hear the clip-clop of Zoron's hooves. When he and Eldar come into view, if their dejected faces didn't tell the story of why they're returning with only two rabbits, that the elf is walking rather than riding speaks the truth of it.

"Matebond?" Hazlan asks.

"Aye," the centaur responds.

Zoron, clearly the strongest of all of us, hauls three stumps from nearby and places them in a circle in front of the cabin. He stands while the three of us sit and discuss our options.

The conversation goes on longer than necessary. It's surprising the males include me. I've spent my life either being spoken for or talked over, but even I know this discussion could have been summed up in one sentence: the four of us are stuck together.

Hunching forward, I place my elbows on my knees and my head in my hands and have a stern talk with myself.

I've had a hard life. That's not self-pity. It's truth. I'd had a brief glimmer of hope of one possible future, one I would love, with the proudborn male I just shared ecstasy with. That fantasy has been snatched from me.

I allow myself a few minutes to mourn what I almost had, then I pull myself together and try to figure out how to proceed from here with the highest likelihood of happiness.

These three males are my mates. I will learn to love them. None are heinous, nor have they been anything but kind to me. Eldar and Hazlan actively tried to save my life by mating me. Zoron would have done the same, but his bigger bulk was necessary to save the proudborn during the Energy Transfer.

I will do this with grace and dignity.

"Are we all convinced the four of us are somehow bound together?" I ask after their melancholy musings have ground to a halt.

"Aye," Zoron says glumly as the other two nod.

"Then there's only one thing we can do." When they all look at me to hear my idea, I say, "Go forward."

Up Above, women are told to be seen and not heard. To have three males looking at me like I have something to say fills me with confidence.

"I'm not certain how… intimate we'll need to be to avoid more pain, but it's clear we have to remain together. What I'll do to make this work is learn to love each of you. I already love Hazlan." I said that with such strength and conviction, it surprises me. "I just need time with the two of you, to get to know you. I already know you're generous, offering to save our lives although you knew you might have to pay the price with this ."

I gesture to the four of us in this circle. "I think this will work if we give it time. The three of you should figure your path to happiness as well."

Haz had already pulled his stump near me, but he inches it even closer and slides his arm around my waist.

"Zoron, two rabbits don't sound like enough to feed four hungry people. Maybe you could take me with you into the forest as you hunt for more game?" I ask.

Funny, I'm not looking at the centaur for his answer, so much as I'm watching the elf out of the corner of my eye. He wastes no time giving me his blackest scowl.

Zoron ambles behind where Eldar is sitting and undoes one of the braids the male keeps near his face. He removes some brown leaf shards and re-plaits the hair. Each movement of his fingers is deliberate, affectionate, and expresses the intimacy of their relationship.

After dipping his head to kiss his mate on his cheek, he approaches me and kneels on his front legs, a silent invitation for me to mount him.

He closes his eyes and dips his head. "I'm ready when you are."