Episode Seventeen Taking Inventory

L ylah

We're not at the stream yet, which is a good thing. I like taking our time. I've never had that luxury before. Taking a step back, I get a good look at him for the first time.

He was painfully thin the last time I saw him in his cage. The Energy Transfer not only healed him, it restored him in other ways.

Broad shoulders, narrow waist, powerful thighs and haunches. Although his head is mostly human, his ears are rounded and high on his head, which is crowned by a magnificent coffee-brown mane.

His tail lashes close to the ground.

"You're not happy?" I ask.

When he lifts an eyebrow in question, I add, "Your tail says you're not calm."

"You're taking my inventory. I'm not sure I'll measure up." His brow furrows with worry.

A warm wave of affection swirls through me. Has any male ever spoken to me with such candor? Especially about their fears or imperfections? That he's not full of himself makes me like him that much more.

I step into his arms and hug him so hard it would have broken him only a few days ago.

"Not measure up? So far, you've exceeded expectations in every way."

For the first time, I notice how soft his golden fur is. I nuzzle my cheek against his chest, and while I'm at it, I take a deep whiff of his scent. It's warm and masculine and makes me wonder what he'll smell like when we're making love.

I imagine it will be nothing like Joseph's sour smell, especially when he'd been drinking.

"Exceeded expectations?" he asks, but his voice doesn't sound confident like I would expect.

"Tell me what bothers you," I coax.

He takes two measured steps back and opens his wings through the long slits in his poncho pelt.

"This."

He says nothing else, just stands with the sun streaming through his wings as he exposes himself to me.

Instead of the beautiful golden wings I'd imagine when he enveloped me that cold night in the cage, they're deformed. No. Not deformed, they're… partially amputated. That night, I was lost too deep in pain to notice.

"What…"

"They clipped my wings. Clipped the wings of anyone who could fly. The barbed wire fences were tall, but avians could simply fly away. The first thing they did when an avian arrived was clip their wings. They clipped us again and again, every month, to keep us locked in that hellhole. I don't know why the Energy Transfer didn't heal my wings, but I suspect the centaur didn't have enough energy to fix them. It doesn't matter. They're useless. I can't fly."

My stomach contracts, threatening to expel the rabbit stew they served us for breakfast.

This is my mate. This strong, proud male is worried this will turn me away. I need to help him know my heart.

"This disgusts me," I say, keeping eye contact with his golden eyes.

When he tries to turn from me, I grab his hand and, despite the difference in our size, he lets me yank him back toward me.

"Their inhumanity disgusts me. It turns my stomach. It makes me want to trek back to the Works and burn it to the ground. What they did to you breaks my heart ."

He can't hold my gaze. The tail that had been lashing has stilled and is dragging on the ground.

"How my heart feels about you, Haz…" It's the first time I've used his pet name and it makes me feel like I used to when the elevators in the Tower plunged really fast. "My heart just feels even more affection for you. Because it hurt your body and hurt your pride and you didn't deserve it."

When I step between his feet, he enfolds me in those battered wings. They may not be whole, but they're soft and I feel protected in his embrace.

"You saved my life. You're wise and kind. Nothing…" I tip my head to look at him. " Nothing will make you unworthy in my eyes."