Chapter 15

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

J ulian's fingers lingered at the edge of Ester's pelisse, moving slowly, reverently, as though savoring the intimacy. His eyes never left hers, as the world narrowed to just the two of them in this stolen moment. At last, he tugged the fabric loose, peeling it from her shoulders with exquisite care, the silk falling in a soft heap at her feet.

His hands brushed her bared arms, the lightest of touches. But even that sent a shiver through her. Julian's touch was soft, almost coaxing, as though he could sense the uncertainty in her, the tremor of hesitation mixed with the undeniable hunger in her eyes. His fingers traced the line of her neck, dipping into the hollow of her throat before moving lower, finding the first tie of her stays.

"You're trembling," he murmured, his voice a low rumble. He toyed with the lace of her stays, untying it with agonizing slowness. "Are you afraid?"

Ester swallowed hard, her breath coming in shallow gasps as she shook her head. "No…" she whispered, but the word caught in her throat. It wasn't fear that coursed through her—it was something far more dangerous. A need she had never allowed herself to fully feel until now. "I just… I've never…"

"I know," he whispered, his breath warm against her cheek as his lips grazed her skin. His fingers worked the stays free, inch by inch, the fabric loosening around her until the pressure that had bound her was gone. His hand lingered at her waist, steadying her as he slid the stays from her body.

Then, Julian's hands moved to her chemise, the only barrier left between them. His touch was deliberate, yet unhurried, his fingers tracing the outline of her waist through the thin linen. His thumb rose to draw a slow circle at the base of her throat. There was something in his eyes, something possessive, something that made her feel wanted in a way she had never experienced before. Yet it calmed when he saw her tremble against him.

"But only if you want this," he whispered.

Ester could not find her words. A slight nod of her head. She hoped it was enough to instill her conviction. Her hands instinctively rose to cover herself, her palms resting over her breasts as the heat of his words sent a flush racing through her. The chemise slipped from her shoulders, falling in soft waves down her arms, but she held it close, clinging to the last vestige of modesty she had left. Her heart pounded in her chest, torn between the desire that thrummed through her veins and the nervousness that tightened her throat.

Julian's hands stilled over hers, his touch firm but gentle. "Don't hide from me," he murmured, his voice a tender command. His fingers slid over hers, coaxing her hands away with careful patience.

She let him guide her. Her arms fell to her sides as the chemise slipped lower, exposing her breasts to the cool morning air. Her nipples peaked, more from the intensity of his gaze than the chill, and she shivered. She could feel the weight of his eyes on her, caressing down the soft curves of her bare breasts, lingering at the subtle rise and fall of her breath.

"You are perfect," he whispered, his voice hoarse, as if the words themselves were pulled from the depths of him. His hands moved to her waist, fingers trailing lower, finding the remaining fabric of her chemise. He paused there, his breath catching. For a moment, the world seemed to still.

His fingers tightened, and with a slow, deliberate motion, he drew the chemise down, wriggling it over her hips, past the softness of her thighs, until it pooled at her feet. She stood before him, fully naked, except for a pair of white, silk stockings.

Her first instinct was to cover herself again—her arms twitching as though to shield the parts of her that felt most vulnerable—but something he said stopped her.

"You are safe, Ester."

His hands slid up her sides, possessively tracing the curve of her waist, her ribs, until his thumbs grazed her breasts again. Her heart pounded at the protectiveness in his voice, but instead of retreating, it fueled her desire, made her ache for him in ways she hadn't realized before. She wanted to be his. She wanted him to claim her, to take her completely.

"I… I want you," she whispered, her voice trembling.

Julian's eyes softened for a heartbeat. Then, his hands tightened on her hips as he pulled her flush against him, his body hard and unyielding against her softness. "Then you'll have me." His lips crashed on hers in a kiss that was no longer gentle but possessive, filled with the same hunger that burned in her own veins. His mouth moved down her neck, leaving a trail of hot, open-mouthed kisses along her collarbone.

"Julian…" she moaned, her hands tangling in his hair, pulling him closer, wanting more, needing more.

Julian's lips trailed fire down the curve of Ester's neck, his hands firm yet tender as they traced the soft contours of her waist. Every touch sent a shiver through her, her skin prickling with the heat of his caresses.

But then, something inside her shifted—a sudden, daring need to touch him the way he touched her, to explore his body with the same reverence and desire he gave to hers.

With trembling fingers, she reached for the lapels of his shirt, and pushed it from his broad shoulders, her palms exploring the taut skin of his chest as she stripped him of it. His trousers came next, and her nails trailed lower, fumbling with their fastenings. She had never disrobed a man before, but she wanted this—wanted to see him, touch him, feel him beneath her hands the way he had with her. Finally, she managed to undo the buttons, the fabric gliding down his hips, leaving him bare to her gaze. The gradual reveal of his engorged manhood set all her senses alight.

Julian's hands found her waist again, pulling her against him, and their bodies collided in a desperate, heated kiss. His mouth was fierce, devouring hers, and she moaned into him, her hands roaming his body, feeling the hard, warm strength of him pressing into her.

"You are not broken, Ester," he growled, deep against her ear. "And I'm going to show you just how much you're wanted."

His words sent a shiver through her, not of fear but of something far more dangerous—an overwhelming need to be claimed by him, to feel his hunger for her, to know she was wanted. Julian's hands slid up her sides, cupping her breasts once more, his thumbs brushing over her hardened nipples. Then, he lowered his head and took one hungrily into his mouth. His tongue flicked over the sensitive peak, and she gasped, her body trembling as waves of pleasure surged through her.

"You're beautiful," he whispered in between breaths. "I need you to feel that… to know how much I desire you."

Ester's hands gripped his shoulders, her breath coming in short, desperate gasps as his mouth moved to her other breast, sucking gently. With one hand, he kneaded her flesh, with the other, he spread her legs wider to pull her flush against him, his fingers brushing the apex of her thighs. She could feel a wetness pooling there. She was melting under his touch, her body on fire, every nerve alive.

She wanted this—wanted him to claim her, to take her completely. And as his mouth returned to hers, his kiss searing and possessive, she knew she was lost to him, utterly and completely.

Suddenly, Julian circled an arm around her waist, lifting her with ease as he pressed her spine against the wall. The solid pressure of him against her was intoxicating, the hardness of his body pressed into her delicateness sending jolts of pleasure through her core. His lips found her throat, kissing and biting gently as he positioned himself at her entrance, the heat of him making her gasp.

"Are you sure," he murmured, his voice rough with desire as his fingers continued to trace slow, deliberate patterns along her most sensitive spot.

Ester nodded, biting her lip. "I'm sure." Her arms tightened around his shoulders. "I want you… I need you."

Julian kissed her softly, one final time. Slowly—agonizingly slowly—he began to push into her, his hand on her hip steadying her as he filled her inch by inch. The sensation was overwhelming, the stretch making her gasp, her body clinging to him as he gave her time to adjust.

She whimpered, her nails digging harder into his shoulders as the unfamiliar pressure sent waves of equal discomfort, equal pleasure through her. Julian stilled immediately, his lips brushing her ear. "Are you alright?" he whispered, his voice gentle, full of concern. "Tell me if it hurts too much. We can stop."

Ester shook her head, her breath coming in shallow gasps. "No, don't stop," she panted. "I just… need a moment." She tightened her grip on him, her body trembling as she willed herself to relax, to open for him. The discomfort slowly began to ease, replaced by a growing sense of fullness, of pleasure building deep inside her.

"Deeper, Julian… I want to feel you deeper," she breathed.

With a low groan, Julian pressed further into her, moving slowly, his arms embracing her body as he filled her completely. "You feel… incredible," he murmured, his voice hoarse with restraint. "Am I hurting you?"

Ester shook her head, breathless. "No… no, it's perfect. Don't stop, please…"

Julian's control shattered with her words. He began to move again, slow but deliberate, his hips rolling into hers as he rubbed her slick heat with his thumb, drawing small, sensual circles that made her cry out. The discomfort was gone now, replaced by a mounting pleasure that built with every thrust, every touch.

Then, with a soft growl, Julian shifted. He pulled back from the wall, his hands gripping her tightly as he turned, his back pressing against the cool stone. Slowly, he slid down, sitting back against the wall.

Ester's breath came in shallow, heated gasps as she sank fully onto Julian, her body trembling from the sheer intensity of the sensation. Straddling him, her legs splayed wide over his strong thighs, she could feel every inch of him inside her, filling her completely. Her chest rose and fell rapidly, her breasts brushing against his as she adjusted to the delicious fullness. Julian's hands gripped her hips firmly, steadying her, guiding her as she began to move.

"God, Ester… you feel so good," he groaned, his voice thick with raw desire. His hands slid up her sides, tracing the curve of her waist, his fingertips digging into her skin possessively.

Ester moaned, her hands resting on his chest for support as she tilted her hips, rolling them in slow, deliberate circles that made her gasp. Sweat beaded on her skin, glistening in the dim light. She leaned back further, her head falling back, her hair cascading down her spine in wild waves as her body arched toward him. Julian pressed forward, his lips finding the soft skin of her flushed and heaving breasts, sucking gently before biting down just enough to make her gasp. He kissed his way up her chest, his mouth hot and hungry, his breath coming in ragged bursts as he devoured her. She felt his lips at her throat, his teeth grazing her skin as his hands slid down her back, guiding her up and down his length in sensual motions. Julian groaned beneath her, his eyes locked on the sight of her body undulating over his, his skin slick with sweat, glowing in the low light.

"Julian… I'm so close," she gasped, her voice breaking with the intensity of the sensation building inside her. She could feel the slick heat of her own arousal, the sound of their bodies moving together filling the air, the raw, primal connection between them making her dizzy with need.

Julian's grip on her tightened, his fingers digging into her hips as he thrust up into her, meeting her movements with equal force. His voice was thick with need as he whispered in her ear, "You're mine, Ester. Every inch of you… And I'll worship you until my final breath."

His voice, deep with possessive hunger, sent her spiraling. She gasped, nails raking across his skin. Pleasure built swiftly, like fire in her veins. Then, it overtook her—sharp, deep, overwhelming. She cried out, his name tumbling from her lips as the waves of her release surged, one after another, exquisite and unrelenting. Her body trembled, utterly surrendered to the pleasure that shattered her, leaving her breathless and undone in his arms.

Ester watched the soft swaying motion of the oak branches visible from where she lay. She was naked except for a pair of white, silk stockings. Her bare skin was protected from the bare floorboards of the old house by Julian's coat. She lay with her head on his chest and one leg arched over his. Julian lay on his back with one arm around Ester's shoulders, softly caressing her. She ran one hand up and down his naked torso, feeling the dampness from the sweat that had coated him in his exertions. The air was as close about them as a blanket. Her eyelids drooped drowsily.

"I wish we could stay here in this moment forever," she whispered.

"As do I," Julian replied, sounding sleepy.

"How long do you think we have been here?" she asked.

"About two or three hours I would say. I think I slept for a while though I was determined that I did not want to miss a single moment of you."

Ester chuckled. "I wanted to sleep. I have never felt so comfortable. So safe. But I stopped myself. I think I did, at least. I didn't want to miss a moment of you either."

"Are we wicked, do you think?" Julian grinned boyishly.

"Undoubtedly. I don't think there are many respectable people who would consider what we did as in any way proper behavior."

"I have known you for three days but I feel as though you have been in my life forever," Julian replied, "you have bewitched me."

"Hmm. Do you still believe I am cursed to die?"

"We shall see. I do not want you to go. If anything is still to happen to you, then I want to keep you close," Julian muttered.

"And not because you believe I have stolen from you?" Ester asked.

"No," Julian replied firmly, "I know that you have not stolen from me. I believe it was Kingsley. I should like to call him out for the insult."

"Do not," Ester said, running a soothing hand along his iron-hard chest, "please."

"He attempted to… to ravish you and then ruin your family," Julian protested.

"And there may be worse that he has kept back. I do not want to antagonize him. Please, for my family," Ester implored.

She lifted her head to look Julian in the eye. He looked unhappy, but eventually nodded.

"Very well. I shall say nothing until I have proof. But he will have not a penny of your money." Then, his eyes flashed with something. After some time, he spoke again, "You said earlier that you were promised to someone?"

"Once," Ester admitted.

"Did you love him?"

She thought about this question. "No," she murmured. "It was an arranged marriage. With my consent, but arranged by my parents nonetheless. Lord Kenneth Lowe ."

Julian remained silent for a moment. "I take it the match has been dissolved?"

"Lord Lowe took the side of your mutual friend and called off the engagement. He was very adamant that I was a fallen woman."

She felt the tension rise in Julian's body. Those muscles were like steel cords beneath his smooth skin. Such power they held. She had no doubt that he could be a terrifying force once roused. She had felt his strength, power fuelled by lust and barely held in check. There were bruises on her hips, buttocks, and breasts where his hands had gripped too hard. She had not stopped him nor cried out in anything but encouragement. Now the bruises were badges of honor. The pain was a reminder of the glorious time they had enjoyed.

"I was fond of Kenneth. He was, I thought, a good man and a gentleman in deed as well as word. He even encouraged me to seek ambitions beyond that of a wife and mother."

"He sounds like a man I would get along with. Shame he displayed such a lack of good sense at the end."

"Would you have taken my side against your old school friend?" Ester asked.

"I would. I have ."

There was no hesitation or equivocation. He sounded definite. Resolved. It gave Ester a warm feeling in the pit of her stomach.

"My mother was bitterly disappointed. She does not say as much but I think she blames me. In the darkest corner of her heart anyway," Ester breathed, sadly.

It was something she had not confessed to anyone before. But in this moment of physical vulnerability, it seemed the right time to bear her soul as well as her body.

"And your father?" Julian asked.

"His health was failing him before this happened. He took my side and challenged Kingsley. I have never seen him so angry."

"The fool," Julian murmured. "I am sorry, but Kingsley is an excellent marksman with a pistol and an even better swordsman. Your father would have been killed."

"I forced him to withdraw the challenge…" Ester said, haltingly.

"How did you persuade him?"

"I… I told him that it was a lie. That I hadn't been assaulted. That I had given myself to him and then panicked."

There was a long moment of silence. Ester felt tears sting at her eyes at the memories of the humiliating confession.

"It was not true, but I did not know how else to stop him from going through with the duel."

"A father would take such a confession hard," Julian commented.

"He did," Ester wept silently, closing her eyes. "He suffered a brain fever that night. It took weeks to recover and he is still bed-ridden. That is my fault. All of it is my fault."

Julian shifted beneath her, turning and stroking her face with his pale fingers.

"That is not true, and I will not hear it from you. What you did took courage. To destroy yourself in his eyes and preserve his life? That is immensely brave."

"But it broke him!" Ester wailed.

"His health was already failing him. That was not your doing," Julian replied. "Without your intervention, he would be dead, I assure you of that."

"We came here to escape the scandal and discovered the shadow of it had followed us. Now, Kingsley wants money in exchange for his silence. If my father finds out, it will kill him."

"Then he will not," Julian declared with conviction. "Kingsley will be paid and then he will honor his part of the bargain. I will see to it."

Ester wiped her eyes on the heel of her hand and shook her head firmly.

"No. I will not allow anyone else to be destroyed by this…"

"I am not asking for your permission. Merely telling you what I intend to do," Julian stated. "That is an end to the discussion. After today, Kingsley will depart with the money he seeks and you can return to Loughton Grange, to your family, secure in the knowledge that your reputation is safe."