Chapter 5

5

MAZEY

I t had already been a couple days, but Mazey couldn’t stop thinking about McKenna. The way she felt so secure when McKenna had saved her from the cliff, the calm strength in her touch, the easy flow of their conversation afterward—it lingered in her mind, almost obsessively. She couldn’t figure it out. Sure, McKenna had rescued her, and yeah, they’d had a great talk, but there was something more to it, something deeper that Mazey couldn’t shake.

Was it just admiration? Or was it something more?

This feeling...it was familiar, like the admiration she’d felt for people she looked up to, but much stronger. And the strangest part? It was for a woman. She wasn’t used to this. It wasn’t the way she had felt around men before, the fleeting crushes, the predictable interest. This was something that rooted itself in her, demanding attention.

She needed to explore it, but carefully. Mazey wasn’t the type to rush into anything, especially not with the spotlight constantly on her. The last thing she needed was some media frenzy over whatever this was she was feeling. If the paparazzi even got a whiff of her spending time alone with a woman, especially one like McKenna who gave off serious lesbian vibes, it’d be all over the tabloids in seconds, spun into something she wasn’t ready to handle.

She could probably play it off if anyone asked and claim it was just her way of getting deeper into her character for the show. That would work, right? But the more she thought about it, the less she wanted to lie. This wasn’t about acting. This was about something personal, something she wasn’t even sure she wanted to admit to herself.

No one from production could know. Mazey had always been good at keeping secrets. She’d navigated Hollywood’s harsh scrutiny for years, dodging rumors and scandals, always in control of her image. But this…this felt different.

She didn’t want anyone assuming what she was feeling, not when she hadn’t even figured it out herself. For now, she’d keep it buried, try to focus on the work, and hope it would pass. But every time she closed her eyes, McKenna’s face flashed in her mind, the memory of her touch pulling Mazey deeper into confusion.

And maybe, just maybe, she didn’t want it to go away.

She paced around her trailer, trying to shake off the thoughts of McKenna, but it was no use. The more she tried to push them away, the stronger they came back. Maybe it was because McKenna had saved her. Maybe it was the way they’d connected so effortlessly during their conversation. But no matter how much Mazey tried to dismiss it, the truth was there, nagging at her: this was more than admiration.

She needed to clear her head, maybe get some distance. But no amount of distractions seemed to help. Her mind kept wandering back to McKenna, her easy smile, the way she’d made Mazey feel safe in a way no one ever had. She felt torn between curiosity and fear. What did it mean? What did McKenna mean to her?

Mazey glanced at the clock. She had a few hours before the next shoot, but sitting around wasn’t doing her any favors. She needed to do something, anything. Her feet carried her toward the door before she realized what she was doing.

Before she could second-guess herself, she grabbed her jacket and left her trailer. There was only one place she could think to go.

The fire station.

Maybe seeing McKenna in her element where she thrived would help her make sense of everything. If nothing else, it might ease her mind to just talk things out or maybe even get a better grasp on the connection she felt. She had to figure it out one way or another.

As she stepped outside, the crisp air filled her lungs, and with every step toward the station, Mazey’s pulse quickened. She wasn’t sure what she expected to find there, but she knew she had to go.

She made her way over to the fire station. She realized she hadn’t even checked to see if McKenna would be working that day. Hopefully if she was, it wouldn’t be an intrusion that she would be coming to see her. She was so focused on her own feelings she didn’t even stop to think if McKenna even wanted to see her.

It was too late for that. She was already driving herself over to the station. If McKenna wasn’t there, that meant that it wasn’t meant for them to see each other, she thought to herself. When she arrived, she parked and gave herself a minute to compose herself.

As she walked in, someone called out to her.

“Hey, stranger. What brings you here? Another apology?” McKenna’s voice cut through the air, playful but with that strong, no-nonsense undertone she had.

Mazey turned, trying to suppress the sudden flutter in her chest at seeing McKenna again. “Hello again,” she replied, offering a smile she hoped didn’t betray her nerves. “We didn’t get to finish our conversation last time. You know, I really need to get to know my character better if I’m going to make these rescues realistic.”

McKenna raised a brow, her lips quirking into a smile. “Yeah, of course. You’re right, last time was cut short.” Her tone was casual, but Mazey could sense there was something behind her deep brown eyes, curiosity, maybe, or something more.

“So, did you end up rescuing someone from a near-tragic accident? Tell me all about it.” Mazey leaned against the doorframe, trying to match McKenna’s ease.

McKenna chuckled, shaking her head. “Oh, it was crazy. I thought I was going to die. Had to jump out before the building collapsed.”

Her expression was so serious that for a second, Mazey believed her.

“What?” Mazey’s eyes widened, her heart skipping a beat. “Oh my god, I’m so glad you’re okay. I-I'm sorry for making a joke about it earlier.”

McKenna burst out laughing, her deep, hearty chuckle echoing through the fire station. “I’m messing with you. It was a false alarm.”

Mazey's mouth fell open. “Wow. You’re supposed to be someone who’s truthful and reliable!”

“Hey, I can joke around too!” McKenna shot back, crossing her arms and grinning at her.

Mazey shook her head, laughing despite herself. “You got me. Alright, alright, you win this round.” She paused, then her smile turned mischievous. “But this time, I want some demonstrations.”

“Demonstrations?” McKenna tilted her head, a twinkle in her eye. “Alright. How about we get you geared up, and I’ll show you a few things?”

Mazey’s stomach fluttered with a mix of excitement and nerves. “That sounds perfect.”

McKenna disappeared for a moment, then returned with a heavy set of firefighting gear. She handed it to Mazey, who immediately felt the weight of it.

“You think you can put this on yourself?” McKenna asked, her tone teasing but kind.

Mazey smirked. “Yeah, I’m a big girl. I got this.”

She started with the pants and boots, and she nearly toppled over trying to step into them. McKenna watched with a raised eyebrow, clearly holding back laughter.

Mazey pulled at the jacket, trying to get it over her head without unzipping it first. After a solid minute of wriggling, she huffed in frustration, realizing she was hopelessly stuck.

“Uh, I think I might need some help,” she muttered, muffled beneath the bulky fabric.

McKenna tried and failed to hide her amusement as she stepped forward. “Did you try to put this on without unzipping it?” she asked, shaking her head but smiling.

Mazey’s face flushed with embarrassment. “Maybe…”

McKenna let out a soft laugh, stepping closer. “Alright, hold still. Is it okay if I unzip this?”

Mazey nodded. “Yeah, I’ve got clothes on underneath.”

“Good to know.” McKenna knelt slightly to unzip the gear, her hands brushing against Mazey’s sides. “Alright, now grab onto my arms so I can help you out of this mess.”

Mazey’s hands found McKenna’s forearms, gripping them tightly. Her fingers brushed against the firm muscle, and for a moment, she was struck by how strong McKenna felt under her touch. It sent a small jolt through her, something electric.

“Lift up your arms,” McKenna instructed softly, her voice low.

Mazey did as she was told, and McKenna gently slid the jacket onto her properly. But the proximity, how close they were, how she could smell the faint scent of McKenna’s skin, mixed with the musk of smoke and sweat, made her dizzy. And even after the gear was settled, she was still holding onto McKenna’s arms, their faces just inches apart.

Without thinking, without planning it, Mazey leaned in. The kiss was long and deep, her lips pressing against McKenna’s with a kind of urgency that surprised even her. The world around them seemed to melt away. For a moment, Mazey forgot where they were, who they were, everything except the feeling of McKenna’s lips on hers, the rush of heat that spread through her entire body.

It wasn’t just a kiss. It was a revelation, an unraveling of everything Mazey thought she knew about herself. She had kissed people before plenty of times, but never like this. There was a hunger in it, a desperate need to be closer, to hold on to this moment for as long as she could. Her heart pounded, her pulse quickening as she deepened the kiss, her hands instinctively finding their way to McKenna’s shoulders. They were strong, solid beneath her fingertips, grounding her as the world spun around them.

McKenna responded, her lips moving against Mazey’s with equal intensity. The warmth of her breath sent a shiver down Mazey’s spine. McKenna’s hands hovered at her waist, hesitant but firm, like she was torn between pulling her closer and holding herself back. But then, as if something clicked between them, McKenna’s grip tightened, drawing Mazey in until there was no space left between them. The connection was magnetic, their bodies drawn together like two pieces of a puzzle finally fitting into place.

Mazey felt herself melting into McKenna, her knees weakening, her mind buzzing with sensations she had never felt before. Her senses were overwhelmed, the softness of McKenna’s lips, the faint taste of mint lingering on them, the warmth of her skin as their bodies pressed together. Time seemed to stretch, each second marked only by the thudding of her heart and the quiet hitch in her breath.

The kiss deepened even further, and Mazey felt like she was losing herself in it. She was vaguely aware of the weight of the fire gear she was still wearing, the bulky fabric making it harder to feel McKenna as fully as she wanted. And the faint scent of smoke that clung to the fabric and perhaps also to McKenna’s hair. But none of that mattered. All she could focus on was McKenna, on the way her lips moved, the subtle gasp she made as Mazey shifted closer, the gentle but undeniable force of their shared desire.

Mazey’s head spun, her thoughts spiraling into a chaotic mix of wonder, fear, and excitement. She wasn’t used to this, to feeling so out of control, so swept up in the heat of the moment. But with McKenna, she didn’t want to be in control. She wanted to let go, to surrender to whatever this was between them, even if she didn’t fully understand it yet.

Then, just as quickly as it had started, it was over. Mazey pulled back, her heart racing, panic flooding her veins. What did she just do?

McKenna blinked, her expression a mixture of surprise and something unreadable. But she didn’t pull away, didn’t flinch. Still, she straightened herself, returning to her professional demeanor, though Mazey could sense the slight shift in her posture.

Mazey, trying to keep her composure, immediately pretended nothing had happened. “Alright, uh...so, what’s next?” Her voice was breathy, her heart still thudding in her chest.

McKenna cleared her throat, nodding slightly as she moved toward the equipment rack. “Next, I’ll show you how to use the safety equipment.”

The rest of the time went by in a blur. McKenna went through the motions, explaining the gear, how to handle certain emergencies, and what to do in high-pressure situations. But Mazey wasn’t really listening. She nodded in all the right places, asked a few questions to seem engaged, but her mind kept wandering back to the kiss.

Had she imagined the tension between them or was it real? And why did it feel like McKenna wasn’t freaking out like she was? Mazey tried to act natural, tried to focus, but she couldn’t stop replaying the moment in her head. The softness of McKenna’s lips, the warmth of her breath, the way her tongue pushed into Mazey’s mouth, claiming her. The shock that Mazey hadn’t just admired her, she wanted her. That realization was terrifying and exhilarating at the same time.

I want her to fuck me.

As McKenna finished demonstrating the last piece of equipment, she turned to Mazey. “You got all that?”

Mazey blinked, snapping back to attention. “Yeah, yeah, I got it,” she said quickly, though she couldn’t have repeated a single word McKenna had just said.

“Good.” McKenna’s eyes lingered on Mazey for just a beat too long, something unreadable in her gaze. Then she gave a small smile, the kind that seemed to say she understood more than Mazey realized. “You did great today.”

“Thanks,” Mazey replied, her voice quieter than she’d intended.

McKenna nodded, stepping back slightly. “Well, I guess I’ll see you around then.”

Mazey swallowed hard, trying to gather her thoughts, but nothing came out the way she wanted. She forced a smile. “Yeah, see you around.”

As Mazey turned to leave, her mind raced. What had she done? What had just happened? She hadn’t planned to kiss McKenna, but now that she had, she didn’t regret it. Not entirely.

I want to get on my knees for her..

Mazey stepped outside, the crisp air hitting her face like a splash of cold water. She took a deep breath, trying to steady her racing heart. She still didn’t know what to make of her feelings for McKenna, but one thing was certain: this was more than admiration.

As Mazey drove home, her mind spiraled with questions. Everything she thought she knew about herself seemed to unravel. She had believed she was straight her whole life. There was never a doubt in her mind. No hints, no lingering thoughts that maybe she was attracted to women. At least, that’s what she’d always told herself. But now, in the quiet of her car, her thoughts became more complicated. Had she really been oblivious to her feelings or had she simply pushed them down because it was easier? Because that’s what society expected from her?

The kiss with McKenna had shaken her. It had felt so natural, so right in the moment. But now, she couldn’t help but worry that it might have been a fluke, a fleeting impulse brought on by the tension of the day. Yet, deep down, Mazey knew that wasn’t the case. It wasn’t just the kiss that had affected her. It was McKenna herself. The way she made Mazey feel: safe, understood, seen. And that feeling both thrilled and terrified her.

She gripped the steering wheel tighter, her knuckles turning white. Loving the way McKenna made her feel was one thing, but the questions it raised were something else entirely. Could she really be attracted to a woman? She had never seriously considered the possibility before, not even once. The thought alone made her chest tighten with anxiety.

Mazey tried to brush it off as a moment of confusion, a one-time thing, but she knew better. The more she replayed the kiss in her mind, the more it became impossible to deny the truth. She had felt something real, something undeniable, and that meant she had to face the fact that she was somewhere on the queer spectrum. Bisexual? Pansexual? Lesbian? What the hell was this? There was no escaping that now.

The reality of it hit her like a wave. This realization was terrifying in ways she hadn’t anticipated. The scrutiny that could come if word ever got out gnawed at her. She could already imagine the headlines, the gossip, the endless speculation. She was a public figure, after all, and her life had always been under a microscope. But the fear of what people might think or say, though very real, seemed distant compared to the storm of emotions she felt inside.

Still, she pushed those thoughts to the back of her mind, focusing instead on the memory of McKenna. The closeness she had felt with her, the way their bodies had seemed to fit together so naturally. And, of course, the kiss. Mazey's lips still tingled when she thought about it, but alongside the thrill, a seed of doubt crept in.

Was pretending the kiss didn’t happen the right move? She’d acted like it hadn’t meant anything, but what if that was a mistake? What if McKenna had felt something too? And, more troubling still, what if Mazey’s sudden forwardness had made McKenna uncomfortable? She hadn’t even asked McKenna if she was into women; she had just assumed. Mazey cringed at the thought. Had she overstepped?

She had based her assumptions on McKenna’s appearance and profession, which now seemed ridiculously shallow. Just because McKenna was strong and confident, worked in a male-dominated field, and carried herself with a kind of quiet dominant power didn’t automatically mean she was into women. Mazey realized she had been projecting her own confusion and curiosity onto McKenna, assuming they were on the same page without ever actually knowing. That thought weighed heavily on her. What if McKenna didn’t see her that way at all?

Her stomach churned with uncertainty. She replayed their time together in her mind, searching for clues in McKenna’s body language, in the way she had reacted to the kiss. But everything was a blur now, muddled by Mazey’s own rising panic. Maybe McKenna had just been caught off guard, unsure of how to react in the moment. Maybe she hadn’t felt the same spark that Mazey had.

Mazey sighed deeply, her heart heavy with conflicting emotions. She knew she had to talk to McKenna, to clear the air, but the idea of confronting her felt daunting. What if McKenna didn’t want to talk about it? What if she really was straight, and the kiss had only made things awkward between them?

The thoughts swirled in her head as she pulled into her driveway. She sat in the car for a moment, staring blankly at the dashboard. This was supposed to be simple, her working with McKenna, getting tips for her role, maybe even making a friend in the process. But now, everything felt complicated and uncertain.

One thing was clear, though: Mazey couldn’t ignore her feelings any longer. The kiss had opened a door inside her that she wasn’t sure could be closed again. Whether it was a new chapter of self-discovery or just an unexpected twist in her life, she had to face it head-on.

She just wasn’t sure if she was ready yet.

With a heavy sigh, Mazey finally stepped out of the car, feeling the cool night air hit her skin. She knew things were going to get more complicated from here. But for the first time, she felt like maybe that wasn’t such a bad thing.