Chapter 11

11

MAZEY

M azey stretched lazily, the warmth of the morning sun filtering through the windows as the smell of coffee and the sizzle of something frying lured her out of the cozy cocoon of the couch. The memories of the previous night flooded back, bringing a smile to her lips. Everything had felt so perfect. For once, she hadn’t been overwhelmed by anxiety or the need to keep up appearances. Being with McKenna and meeting her friends, it was all so comfortable, so... real.

Mazey sat up, running her hands through her hair in a futile attempt to smooth it down. Her reflection in a nearby mirror made her laugh. Her hair was a mess, sticking up in all directions. She gave up, deciding to leave it as it was, and picked up a fire department T shirt of McKenna’s that she pulled on with her own panties from last night. She padded barefoot toward the kitchen, drawn by the sounds and smells of breakfast being made.

As she approached, she paused in the doorway. There was McKenna, standing at the stove, her back turned as she flipped something in a pan. Mazey watched her for a moment, a soft smile forming on her lips. This felt so right. She couldn’t help but imagine mornings like this in the future, waking up beside McKenna, sharing breakfast, just living life together.

Just then, McKenna turned around, and her eyes widened as she jumped back.

“Oh my god!” McKenna gasped, her hand flying to her chest as she bent over, trying to catch her breath.

Mazey grinned, leaning against the doorframe. “Did I scare you?” McKenna let out a breathy laugh, shaking her head. “Yeah, just a little bit! Say something next time when you enter a room. Please.” Mazey walked over and stood beside her, peeking at the pan. “What are you making? It smells amazing.”

“Just eggs and bacon. Figured I’d keep it simple.” McKenna smiled as she turned the heat down. “You looked like you needed some fuel after last night.”

Mazey raised an eyebrow, smirking. “Oh, so it’s like that, huh?”

McKenna shot her a playful look. “What? I’m just being practical.”

Mazey leaned in, wrapping her arms around McKenna’s waist from behind, resting her chin on McKenna’s shoulder. “Well, I could definitely get used to this, waking up to you, breakfast, the whole thing.”

McKenna turned her head slightly, looking at Mazey out of the corner of her eye. “You could, huh?”

“Yeah,” Mazey whispered. “I think I could.”

McKenna watched as Mazey's expression shifted, her carefree smile fading the moment she picked up her phone. The air of ease between them suddenly felt fragile, as though something invisible had wedged itself into the space between their shared laughter and this new, heavy silence.

"Do you have a charger I can borrow? It looks like my phone’s dead," Mazey asked, a hint of nervousness in her voice.

"Yeah sure. You can plug it in next to the table."

Mazey stood up and walked over to plug her phone in, taking a seat at the table as it powered on. She glanced at McKenna, trying to steady her nerves. "No work today?" she asked, hoping to steer the conversation back to the comfort of their morning.

McKenna shook her head with a small smile. "Nope. It’s another day off for me."

Mazey hesitated for a moment, she had the day off too, then asked, "Would you like to spend the day together?" Her heart raced as the words left her lips. She didn’t want to seem too eager, but after the connection they'd shared, the idea of leaving felt unbearable.

Before McKenna could respond, Mazey's phone buzzed to life. The name on the screen made her stomach drop. It was her manager. She answered, trying to keep her tone light. “Hello?”

“Mazey. Oh my god, I’ve been trying to reach you all morning. Where have you been?” her manager’s voice was frantic on the other end.

Mazey furrowed her brow. “Out. Why? We don’t have any filming today.”

“Yes, I know that, but have you been online? Turned on a TV?” her manager pressed, the urgency in her voice deepening.

“No, I haven’t,” Mazey replied, a knot forming in her stomach.

“Well, word is that you’ve been cozying up with a lesbian firefighter,” her manager said, the words sharp and cutting.

Mazey’s heart dropped into her stomach. She could feel panic rising in her chest as the reality of the situation settled in. One of her worst fears had come to life. The paparazzi, the media, and all the things she had tried so hard to keep at bay had managed to worm their way into her life again. And just as everything was starting to feel so right with McKenna.

Her hand shook slightly as she lowered the phone and covered the mic. “This is kind of urgent,” she said, her voice strained as she tried to keep her emotions in check.

Mazey paced as she held the phone to her ear, trying to control the panic that was clawing its way to the surface. “What do you mean it’s out there? Who leaked it?” Mazey demanded, her voice trembling.

“I don’t know yet, but it’s spreading fast. The media’s all over it. Photos, speculation, the whole nine yards. It’s not looking good,” her manager said. “You need to get ahead of the narrative, Mazey. This could hurt your career.”

Mazey’s breath caught in her throat. Hurt her career? Was it really that serious? She glanced back toward the kitchen where McKenna was, oblivious to the storm brewing outside their little bubble. Mazey felt a wave of guilt wash over her. She wasn’t just thinking about herself anymore. This could affect McKenna too. How was she going to explain this to her?

“I need to figure this out,” Mazey whispered into the phone. “I’ll call you back.”

She hung up, her mind racing. How had things spiraled so fast? Just a few hours ago, she’d been wrapped in McKenna’s arms, feeling like everything was finally falling into place. Now, it felt like the ground was being pulled out from under her.

Mazey walked back into the kitchen, her expression unreadable. McKenna turned, her brow furrowed with concern.

“Everything okay?” McKenna asked, her voice gentle but laced with worry.

Mazey forced a smile, but it didn’t reach her eyes. “It’s just...work stuff. Something leaked, and now there’s this whole thing going on with the media,” she said, trying to downplay the severity of it.

McKenna took a step closer and reached out to touch Mazey’s arm. “Is there anything I can do to help?”

Mazey’s heart twisted at the kindness in McKenna’s beautiful brown eyes. She wanted to tell her everything, to let her in completely, but fear held her back. The media attention, the scrutiny—it was exactly what she’d been running from. And now, here she was, standing at the edge of the cliff again about to fall into the chaos.

“I... I don’t know,” Mazey admitted quietly, her voice cracking. “I don’t know how to handle this.”

McKenna pulled her into a tight embrace, her hand gently stroking Mazey’s back. “We’ll figure it out,” she whispered. “We’ll deal with it together.”

Mazey closed her eyes, allowing herself to melt into McKenna’s arms for a moment. She wanted to believe that everything would be okay, that they could handle whatever was thrown their way. But as she buried her face in McKenna’s shoulder, a part of her couldn’t shake the fear that this was just the beginning of something that could tear them apart.

Mazey’s phone buzzed. Her manager was coming to pick her up. She wanted to have a meeting with her. Mazey hurried to find her own clothes and dress. She grabbed her bag, her movements hurried and distracted. The comfortable ease they’d shared moments ago now felt like a fragile memory slipping through her fingers.

“Are you okay?” McKenna asked gently, trying to catch Mazey’s eye.

Mazey paused at the door, turning to face her. “Yeah, I’m fine.”.

“Will I see you later?” McKenna asked, a trace of uncertainty in her voice.

Mazey hesitated for a moment, then nodded, though it felt more like a promise she wasn’t sure she could keep. “Yeah, I’ll text you when I’m free.”

Mazey’s fingers tightened around her phone as she waited for her manager to pull up. The silence of the neighborhood was comforting, but her mind was anything but quiet. What had she gotten herself into? Her feelings for McKenna had come fast and hard, overwhelming her in ways she hadn’t expected. But now, with the reality of her life crashing down on her, she wasn’t sure if she could handle it. She wasn’t sure if she was ready to let anyone in, especially not someone like McKenna, who made everything feel so...real.

Her phone buzzed again. She sighed and answered, her voice tight. “Hey, I’m outside.”

Just then she saw a black Mercedes pull up. Her manager rolled down the window.

“You okay?” Her voice was brusque, but Mazey could hear the underlying tension. “You’ve been dodging calls. This is serious, Mazey.”

She swallowed and got in the car, trying to keep her voice steady. “I know. I’ve been...distracted.”

“Distracted by a hot firefighter? Look, Mazey, this is all over the tabloids. You’ve got photos everywhere, and people are already talking.”

Her heart pounded, the weight of it all sinking in. “I didn’t realize it was out like that.”

“It is. And we need to handle it before it becomes a bigger mess.”

Mazey rubbed her forehead, closing her eyes. Of course it was a mess. It always was, wasn’t it? She couldn’t just have something for herself, not without it becoming public property.

Olivia’s voice broke through her thoughts. “Look, you know how this works. We can spin it, but we need to get ahead of it.”

“Spin it?” she repeated, her throat tight. “This isn’t just...some fling.”

“Mazey, I get it, okay? I get that you’re probably feeling something here, but you’ve got a career to think about. Your image. You can’t be caught with just anyone.”

Mazey’s chest tightened. Her image. The brand she’d been carefully maintaining for years. The smiling, flawless actress who never slipped up, never gave people too much to talk about. She hated it. But what other choice did she have?

“I don’t want to hurt them,” Mazey whispered, still not ready to admit that she was in love with a woman.

Her manager sighed, her tone softening just a bit. “I’m not saying you have to hurt anyone. But you need to think about what’s best for you. For your future.”

Mazey bit her lip, staring out at the empty street. What if McKenna was part of her future? What if, for once, she wanted to let someone in, to stop pretending? But could she really risk it? Could she handle the pressure that would come with it? The judgment? The loss of control?

“I’ll...think about it,” she finally said, her voice hollow. She wasn’t ready to make any decisions, not yet. But the doubt was already creeping in, making her question everything that had felt so right just moments ago.

Mazey needed time alone to think. After her meeting with Olivia, her manager, she retreated to her hotel room, hoping to find some clarity. As she made her way through the lobby, the paparazzi shouted questions, their voices overlapping in a chaotic symphony. “Mazey! Is it true you’re dating a firefighter?” “Are you going to respond to the rumors?” “What do you have to say about the photos?”

Each question felt like a dagger, twisting in her gut.

She pushed past them, her heart pounding. This was more than just a minor inconvenience; it was a stark reminder of her reality. She had built her entire life around her perfect, polished, and untouchable image. But now, everything felt like it was unraveling. Olivia had told her to spin it, but how could she spin something so personal? She didn’t even know Mazey was into women. If it were a man, maybe it would be easier. But this was McKenna, someone she cared about deeply. The thought of dragging her into this mess made Mazey’s stomach churn.

As she navigated through the throng, she felt light-headed from the onslaught of thoughts swirling in her mind. Each flash from the cameras was a stark reminder of the stakes. It was a reality check she wasn’t prepared for, one that made her feel as if she were suffocating under the weight of her own decisions.

Finally, she reached the hotel elevator, where security guards created a barrier between her and the media frenzy. She didn’t want anyone to see how shaken she was or how vulnerable she felt. Maintaining her composure was crucial; she needed a calm exterior and a witty response, something to deflect the probing questions.

“Thanks, fellas,” she called over her shoulder with a smirk that didn’t quite reach her eyes. “Maybe next time, they’ll write about me shacking up with a security guard.” It was a joke, a facade, and the guards chuckled at her attempt to lighten the mood.

“These paparazzi are always spinning some crazy stuff, Ms. Snow,” one of the guards replied, trying to reassure her. “We’ll make sure they don’t bother you, and I’m sure it’ll die down soon.”

Mazey appreciated their kindness, but the words felt hollow. She didn’t have the energy to engage in pleasantries. The weight of everything pressing down on her made it hard to act as if nothing was wrong. As the elevator doors shut behind her, she leaned against the cool metal wall and checked for a CCTV camera. She was safe, but the moment she was alone, the dam broke. She sank to the floor, tears streaming down her cheeks.

The nightmare she had feared had come true far too soon. She needed more time to be completely sure of her choice and gather her thoughts and emotions. Could she really choose love over her career? What if she came out, and it was a non-issue? What if it was a big deal? The questions spiraled through her mind, creating a tempest of uncertainty that left her feeling lost.

The elevator doors opened, and Mazey stumbled out, making her way to her room. As soon as she entered, she threw herself onto the bed, burying her face in the comforter as her body shook with sobs.

Mazey felt a tight knot in her stomach as the weight of her decision settled in. She wasn’t ready to come out to the world, let alone admit to her manager that she was in love with a woman. Not yet. The scrutiny she faced was suffocating, and she needed it to end now. She considered the prospect of ending things with McKenna in person, but the thought was too painful. Their connection had grown so deep, and she couldn't bear to see the hurt in McKenna's eyes.

Instead, she decided it would be easier to do it over a text. As she sat on the edge of her bed, her heart raced. As she typed, her fingers trembled.“I’m sorry, but I can’t do a relationship right now. I hope you can understand. I wish you the best.”

Once she hit send, a wave of relief mingled with regret washed over her. It felt like a coward's way out, but she needed to sever the connection. With a deep breath, she blocked McKenna’s number, a finality hanging in the air like a heavy curtain.

As the screen went dark, she felt an ache in her chest, a bittersweet pang of loss that she knew would haunt her long after this moment. Why couldn’t she have love and a thriving career? Was it really wrong that she loved a woman? As the thoughts swirled in her head, the exhaustion from stress and crying got to her, and she nodded off, hoping that everything would be solved once she woke up.