5. ETHAN

Chapter five

ETHAN

Zana’s office smells like her—cinnamon, honey, and the deeper, grounding scent of her Alpha. It calms me, but not enough. I tap my foot against the leg of the chair, a steady rhythm that echoes in the quiet room. She’s at her desk, all focus and sharp angles, her head bent over the paperwork she’s been rifling through for the last twenty minutes.

I’m supposed to be a good boy. She told me to wait, her tone soft but firm. “I’ll be with you in a moment, Ethan,” she’d said, giving me one of those smiles that makes my insides turn to mush. I’d nodded, eager to please, but that was twenty minutes ago, and my patience has officially run out.

I kick my feet harder, scuffing the toes of my shoes against the floor. Zana doesn’t even glance up. Her pen glides across the page and I catch the faintest curl of her lips—amusement. She knows I’m squirming. She’s waiting for me to break.

It’s a game we play, this push and pull. She tests my limits, watching to see how long I can last before I snap. And I always snap.

“Zana,” I say, my voice edging toward a whine. She doesn’t respond, her focus unwavering. I huff, crossing my arms and glaring at the stack of files in front of her. “You’re ignoring me.”

“I’m working,” she replies, her tone smooth and unbothered. “And you’re supposed to be waiting. I think I specifically told you that if you were a good boy, I was going to let you fuck me tonight. And if you weren’t,” Zana pushes a growl into her words. “That I was going to fuck you instead.”

My insides warm, my cock stiffening uncomfortably in my pants. I reach down to adjust myself, unashamed that my Alpha’s words affect me so much. “I have been waiting,” I grumble, leaning back in the chair. My foot catches the edge of her desk and I push, rocking the chair slightly. “It’s important, remember? I wouldn’t have come all the way here if it wasn’t.” It definitely wasn’t important enough to leave the comfort of my nest but I was restless and bothering my Alpha in her private office at the law firm seemed like a better alternative.

“Hmm,” she murmurs, still not looking up. The faint smile is still there, teasing. Testing .

I groan, flopping forward in the chair dramatically, my arms draping over my knees. “Zanaaaa.”

Her pen pauses and I glance up to see her eyes flicker to mine. There’s a hint of amusement in her gaze, making my heart skip a beat. She’s so beautiful it’s almost unfair—her navy suit fits her perfectly, tailored to highlight her tall, commanding frame. I’d picked it out this morning, pairing it with a silver tie that brings out the streaks of blonde in her dark hair. Her deep brown eyes are the same dark tone as her skin, golden undertones shimmering every time she shifts beneath the light. She’s perfect, effortlessly so, and every inch of her screams Alpha.

And she’s mine.

Her lips twitch and then she laughs—a warm, rich sound that fills the room and wraps around me like a hug. “You’re insufferable,” she says, leaning back in her chair. “Come here, little one.”

I’m out of the chair before she finishes the sentence, practically bouncing across the room to stand in front of her. “Finally,” I mutter, crossing my arms again. “I thought you were going to leave me sitting there all night.”

“You were fine,” she chuckles as she pushes away from the desk, her hands settling on my waist. Elegant fingers dig into my hips as she pulls me closer, a smile playing on her full lips. “What’s so important that you had to barge in here at midnight, hmm?”

I hesitate, suddenly unsure how to put it into words. My fingers twist together and I look away, studying the edge of her desk instead of her face. “I want to sue my dad,” I blurt out finally.

Zana blinks and then her brows arch. “For what?” This isn’t the first time we’ve had this conversation and it probably won’t be the last but my Alpha takes this outburst in stride like she does everything else. She leans in, her lips attaching to the side of my neck, immediately calming the chaos running through my mind. I lean forward, gripping her shoulders as she drags her tongue up my neck and then pulls back, licking her lips. Her eyes are half-lidded with desire as she pulls me closer until I’m standing flush against the chair, her knees on either side of my hips. “What’s going on, little one?”

“I don’t know! Anything! Something. I just—” I stop, the words catching in my throat. I take a deep breath, willing myself to calm down when Zana arches a brow at me. “I just want him to pay for everything he’s done. The way he treated me, the way he treats my sister—”

“Ethan,” she says gently and my shoulders sag. I know that tone. It’s the one she uses when she’s about to tell me something I don’t want to hear. “You can’t,” she says, shaking her head. “There’s nothing to sue him for. Emotional abuse isn’t something you can easily take to court as an Omega, not without evidence, and even then... it’s complicated.”

“But it’s not fair,” I say, my voice breaking. “He got to control every part of my life. He made me feel worthless. He still has Camila trapped there—”

“You’re not there anymore,” she interrupts. She reaches up to caress the side of my face. “You’re free. You’ve moved out. And Camila...” She pauses, considering her words carefully. “Camila will have to make her own choices, Ethan. You can’t save her if she doesn’t want to be saved.”

My older sister, a Beta, faces the same disgusting gaslighting tricks I did. I only got out because an Alpha claimed me but Camila is still there, biding her time until she has enough money to move out. I hate that I can’t do anything to help her, to get her away from our father… I look away, my throat tightening. “You don’t get it.”

“I do,” she whispers. “More than you think. But this isn’t the way.”

My fingers curl into fists, frustration bubbling beneath my skin. I know she’s right, but it doesn’t make it hurt any less. My dad has always been this looming figure in my life, casting a shadow over everything I do. He controlled what I wore, who I talked to, where I went. When my mom died, it got worse—rules upon rules, expectations I could never meet. And the worst part? I still hear his voice in my head sometimes, telling me I’m not good enough, that I’m a failure, that I’m everything an Omega shouldn’t be.

I force the thoughts away, focusing instead on the woman in front of me. Zana watches me with an intensity that’s both comforting and unnerving. She’s my Alpha, my mate, and I know she’d tear the world apart for me if I asked her to. But this? This isn’t something she can fix.

“I just...” I trail off, struggling to find the right words. “I just hate him.”

“I know, baby. I know. Come here, Ethan.” She tugs at my waist and waits for me to respond. “You’ve been such a good boy waiting for me.”

My heart flutters, the words dissolving every ounce of frustration I’ve built up in the past half hour.

“Go on,” she muses, her hands dropping to rest on the arms of her chair. “You know where you belong.”

I crawl into her lap without another word, my legs folding up as I settle against her chest. Her arms come around me instantly, strong and secure and the tension in my shoulders ebbs away like it was never there. She smells like safety, like comfort, and I burrow my face into her neck, exhaling a shaky breath.

“There we go,” she murmurs. “That’s better, isn’t it?”

I nod, my cheek pressing against the soft fabric of her blouse. “Much better,” I mumble.

Her hand strokes down my back, slow and soothing, as if she knows exactly how frayed my nerves are tonight. “I love you,” she says, the words rumbling through her chest. “I love you so much, Ethan. Even if I can’t fix everything, know that I love you.” She pulls back just enough to look at me, one hand coming up to cradle my cheek. “You’re mine now, baby. You’re not going back to him. I can’t protect you from inside your father’s house and you know that. You have the biggest heart, always wanting to save the ones that you love but life isn’t always that easy.”

Her words sting, but they’re true. The fresh bite on my shoulder pulses faintly, a reminder of the flurry of emotions and adrenaline that led to her marking me three months ago. It had been a blur of passion and need, her teeth sinking into my skin with a mix of possession and love. I reach up to touch the mark now, my fingers brushing against the raised skin.

I wouldn’t take it back. Not for anything.

“I still need to get some of my stuff,” I mumble. “Camila packed up a few more boxes. I just... I don’t want to hear his voice.”

Her arms tighten around me, her chin resting on the top of my head. “I’ll be with you,” she says. “You don’t have to do it alone.”

I nod, but the anxiety doesn’t go away. It settles in my chest, heavy and aching, like something is pressing down on my ribs. It’s a familiar feeling, one I’ve tried to ignore for a while but lately, it’s been harder to push aside. There’s something missing, something I can’t name, and the not-knowing makes it worse.

Zana must feel the shift in my scent because she pulls back again, her brows knitting in concern. “What’s wrong?” she asks, her fingers brushing the curls away from my face.

“I don’t know,” I say, my voice cracking. Tears prick at the corners of my eyes and I blink rapidly, trying to hold them back. “It’s just... my chest hurts. And not in a physical way—it’s not that—it’s something else. I don’t know what it is, Alpha. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”

Her hands cup my face, her thumbs wiping away the tears that escape despite my efforts. She places a soft kiss to the bridge of my nose before meeting my gaze. “Hey,” she murmurs. “It’s okay. We’ll figure it out. Do you think we need to see Dr. Bardin?”

I shake my head quickly. “It’s not like that. I mean, it’s physical, but it’s not... not something a doctor can fix.” I trail off, my words fumbling. “It’s like this... longing. For something I can’t name.”

She watches me carefully, her eyes dark with understanding. “You’ve been through a lot, Ethan. Maybe it’s just your heart catching up to everything you’ve had to carry. It’s okay to feel like this. You don’t have to have all the answers.”

“I just feel so lost sometimes,” I admit, my voice barely above a whisper. “Even with you... sometimes it feels like there’s a piece of me missing.” I hate saying it but Zana told me once never to lie to her, to always tell her what was going on in my head so that she could fix it. But I’m not sure she can fix this.

She presses a kiss to my forehead, then another to my cheek, and finally, her lips brush against mine. It’s soft, tender, and I melt into her, the ache in my chest dulling for just a moment.

“We’ll figure it out,” she whispers against my lips. “Together.”

I nod, my eyes still closed, her scent anchoring me. “Can we go home now so I can fuck you?” I ask, trying to move the conversation to something a little more exciting.

Zana snorts as she helps me to my feet. “That sounds like a perfect plan to me.”