36. REID

Chapter thirty-six

REID

“I don’t know where to start.” The words tumble out as Zana’s full attention is on me, Ethan curled up on her other side.

I’ve been free for almost a week.

The word feels alien, like trying on a jacket that doesn’t quite fit yet. Free. It rattles around in my head, bouncing off memories of months where I was anything but. Hailey’s shrill voice, Jackson’s fists, Lyle’s cold sneer—they’re all still there, taking up space in my chest. Even though Zana’s right here, Ethan’s scent on my skin, and the faint ache in my shoulder where the bond mark used to be should be enough to drown them out.

The nullified contract arrived a few days ago like a final nail sealing the Wilhelms out of my life forever. I should be celebrating. I am celebrating. In pieces, anyway. Every time Ethan drapes himself over my lap, babbling about some new freelance project or dragging me into the nest for “cuddle hour,” I can breathe a little easier.

And when Zana presses her lips to my forehead, her hand firm on my back like she’s holding me together, I believe for a second that this new life is real.

But there’s something else sitting under the surface. A pit I can’t name.

“Hey,” Zana’s voice pulls me out of my head, my Alpha still looking at me, her eyes warm with concern. “You’ve been quiet for a while. What’s going on?”

“Nothing,” I say automatically, which is the biggest lie I’ve told since I told Hailey her tea was perfect.

Zana raises an eyebrow and Ethan tilts his head, his curiosity practically humming in the air. Goddess, they’re both so perfect.

“Reid,” Zana says, gently pushing for me to open up. It’s a strange feeling but a welcomed one, being able to talk to someone without feeling judged. “Talk to me.”

I sigh, sitting up straighter. Ethan shifts, watching me carefully and I hate how transparent I must look right now. “I don’t know,” I start, rubbing the back of my neck. “It’s stupid.”

“Try us,” Zana says, her lips quirking up at the corner. “We’re good at stupid.”

Ethan snorts, shaking his head furiously. “Speak for yourself. I’m a genius.”

I can’t help but laugh, but it’s short-lived. The weight in my chest hasn’t budged. I glance between the two of them, their faces open, waiting, and I take a deep breath. “I just... I feel lost,” I admit finally. “Like I don’t know where I fit. When I was with the Wilhelms,” I continue, the words tumbling out now, “I hated it, but at least I knew what I was supposed to do. I had a job, a purpose. Even if it was hell, it was something. But here...” I trail off, gesturing vaguely to the room. “I don’t know where I belong.”

Zana leans back, her eyes softening as she takes me in. “Reid, you belong with us. That’s not a question.”

“I know,” I say quickly. “And I love being here. I love you both. But I don’t want to just... exist here. I don’t want to be another thing you take care of. I need to be more than that.”

Ethan looks like he wants to argue, but Zana holds up a hand, stopping him. “Okay,” she says, nodding slowly. “So, what do you want to do? What did you want to do before all of this?”

I blink at her, surprised by the question. “Before...?” I trail off, my mind spinning back to a time I’ve tried not to think about. “I don’t know. I had plans once. Dreams, I guess. But they feel so far away now.”

“What kind of dreams?” she presses, her tone gentle but insistent.

I shrug, running a hand through my hair. “You know I majored in biology,” I say, the words tasting strange after all this time. “I thought maybe... healthcare? Something where I could help people. But that was a long time ago. I don’t even know if I could do it now.”

Zana smiles, her hand brushing against mine. “You can do anything, baby.” Such a simple statement but it feels right when she says it, feels like it could become my reality. “If that’s what you want, we’ll figure it out. But take your time. There’s no rush.”

“You’re going to do amazing, ” Ethan bursts out, practically vibrating with excitement. He leans forward, his brown eyes bright. “Oh! We can set up the guest bedroom as a study or a workspace or something. You’re going to need a place to focus, right? With, like, a big desk and shelves and all those nerdy things that doctors need. It’ll be perfect!”

I laugh, shaking my head as Ethan’s words tumble out like an avalanche. Nowhere in there did I mention wanting to be a doctor. “Weren’t you supposed to be in heat or something?” I tease, raising an eyebrow at him.

Ethan pauses mid-bounce, sticking his tongue out at me in mock offense. “Rude,” he says, crossing his arms. “And for your information, I had a full checkup, thank you very much. Dr. Bardin said with all the stress and drama and trauma, ” he throws up dramatic air quotes, “this heat just kind of skipped me. But don’t worry! I’m super excited to share the next one with you.” The words are barely out of his mouth before he adds, with a grin that can only be described as devilish, “But don’t worry—you can still fuck me. There’s still slick if I get aroused.”

The room goes dead silent for half a beat and my face heats up so fast I’m sure I’m the color of a fire hydrant. “Ethan!” I choke out, my voice an octave higher than usual.

Zana barks out a laugh, her head tipping back as she slaps her knee. “Your Omega has quite the mouth,” I mutter, running a hand over my face in a futile attempt to hide my blush.

“And as I recall,” Zana purrs, leaning in close to me, her lips brushing against my ear, “my Beta does too.”

Oh, for the love of—

I groan, burying my face in my hands as Ethan laughs, clearly delighted with himself. “You two are impossible,” I mumble, though I can’t help the smile tugging at my lips. I went from feeling lost to knowing exactly where I belong. I don’t know how these two do it.

“You love it,” Zana muses, kissing the top of my head before standing. “I’m going to make some tea. You two behave.”

“Define behave,” Ethan chirps, his grin growing wider as Zana rolls her eyes and heads to the kitchen.

I watch her go, my chest tightening with something I can only describe as gratitude, adoration, love . For her. For Ethan. For this life I never thought I’d have.

“So,” Ethan says, drawing my attention back to him. He scoots closer until he’s pressed up against my side. His fingers trace absent patterns on my shoulder, his grin softening into something sweeter. “What do you want to do first? The study? New supplies? Oh! We should get a little lab coat for you. You’d look so hot in a lab coat.”

I laugh, shaking my head. “Let me figure out my next steps first, yeah?” I say, running a hand up his back. “We don’t need to go all out just yet.”

Ethan huffs dramatically. “Fine. But I’m holding you to the lab coat thing.”

“Deal,” I say, pulling him down for a kiss.

Because here, with them, I think I might finally figure out what comes next. And for the first time in a long time, I’m not scared of the answer.