26. Cecile

CECILE

“What do you mean there’s nothing more you can do? You’ve got to save my boy.”

“I’m sorry, ma’am, but we’ve done all we can, and there’s no change. You need to decide about taking him off life support. We’ll give you some time to think about it.”

“No come back.” He just kept walking away, and the nightmare that started almost two months ago got worse. I was in a panic and didn’t know what to do or where to turn. I’ve never dealt with anything like this before.

How come there’s no one here to tell me what to do next? My daughters were here with their families just a few days earlier, but they had to return to their lives, and my husband was still at his office, or so he says.

I’d heard from the nurses that he’d been visiting with his sister in the evenings after I was gone. My husband doesn’t have a sister, so I was very sure who the woman who came with him was.

What was she doing here? How could he embarrass me like this after all that I’d been through? I went back into the room to look at my son, who hardly looked like himself. He’d lost almost all the weight he’d gained in the time he’d been here and looked older; even his color had changed and was no longer the robust tone it always was. But then again, he hadn’t looked healthy in a long time.

Everyone was blaming me for everything. His sisters claim that if I hadn’t forced the issue with Deidre and ran off Amanda none of this would’ve happened. It was as if they wanted me to leave my grandson out in the cold.

My oldest was even mean enough to suggest that had Junior been a girl, I wouldn’t have gone to so much trouble. The other one said some awful things to me, things that she’d been holding in for a very long time from the sounds of it, and it was almost as if they’d resented me all this time for loving their brother more.

She even hinted that I had a strange attachment to my son, that was sick, as she called it. I almost slapped her for the implication, but her husband got in the way. In the end I’d sent them away because they weren’t here to help, just air their grievances and attack me at every turn.

The worst thing they did to me, though, was to have dinner with their father and his mistress the last night they were here. I don’t understand what I did that was so wrong for my family to treat me like this. They knew how much I had suffered because of their father and that woman, and still…

Dan was the only one I could count on, and now he was lying in that bed lifeless, not moving, not talking. “Dan, can you hear me? You’ve got to pull through. I need you; your son needs you. Dan, Dan.”

I shook his arm, but there was no movement, nothing, not even when I pinched him. I felt like there was a hole in my chest, a deep gaping maw that nothing would ever fill. No, there’s still Junior. Sweet little Junior who needs me.

A son to raise to replace the one I’d lost. Yes, that’s what I’ll do. I’ll give all the love I have to my little boy. My little Dan. I was about to walk out of the room when a different doctor came into the room.

“I’m sorry, but where is Amanda Stewart?”

“Why do you need her?”

“She’s listed as his next of kin on his insurance. She would have to be the one to decide where we go from here.”

I felt the world spinning and had to sit down. ‘But they’re divorced.”

“That doesn’t matter; she’s still listed as next of kin and the only one who can make the decision as to whether or not we remove your son from life support.”

“Isn’t there a way to fight this?”

“I suppose you can contact a lawyer, yes.”

A lawyer, I’ve gotta get a lawyer. Okay, think, think. How much is this gonna cost me? I left the room almost in a daze and turned around twice because I couldn’t remember what I was doing or where I was going.

My family has a lawyer, but he doesn’t handle things like this; he’s more of an estate lawyer. But maybe there’s someone at his firm. I tried calling my husband, but he wasn’t picking up.

I left the hospital in a daze, not aware of my surroundings, and even bumped my shoulder into the wall a time or two. Outside in the early evening twilight, I tried to catch my breath as soon as I stepped outside in the fresh air and was almost run over. There was a lot of commotion, and a man was yelling, but I was too distraught to hear what he was saying or even look in his direction.

I did have enough sense to move out of the way of the crowd of people that came rushing past me.

* * *

THUNDER

* * *

I’m goingto kill that fucking doctor. We were just in her office about eight hours ago; she couldn’t see this shit coming? I told her ass I wanted to move closer to the hospital when the time came; I could’ve rented a hotel or some shit for the occasion and had all my girl’s friends and family there with her, which I would’ve done had I know today was the day.

First of all, fuck this shit. She didn’t even know she was in labor; I fucking went into labor, yes, get that, me Thunder McCall. To make matters worse, her team was there; my men, rough around the edges, badass, no-nonsense strike-to-kill men, were in my kitchen at my behest because I’d lost my fucking mind and decided that everyone had to be there just in case something popped off with the baby.

It wasn’t bad enough that I was wearing an apron and baking a tray of snicker noodles, doodles, what the fuck because that’s what she said she wanted.

I had just taken the tray out of the oven, and she was laughing about something with my sister and her grandmother, who were keeping her from losing her shit while I baked, when a pain hit me in the gut so hard and so unexpectedly that I almost sent the tray flying.

“What the fuck!” I looked around the room at all the startled faces, but before I could say anything more, my knees almost buckled from another searing pain.

I had to lean against the counter and take huge breaths, dragging in huge lungfuls of air as the room spun around me. Then I heard it, “Oh no, my water broke.” The panic in her voice and the scared look in her eyes when I looked over at her, was enough to make me forget my own pain, and I started barking out orders, but her team was already moving.

“Get him in the car. Come on, Miss.” Cody, that fuck, sounded cool, calm and collected.

“I can take my own woman, fuck me.” This one made me double over, and I’m sure I heard snickering.

Joy ran up the stairs to our room to grab the bag I had waiting at our bedroom door for the last month, while everyone else headed for the door. Grandma was on the phone calling whoever needed to be called, including Millie and Evelyn, while I tried not to fall flat on my face. I had the Doc on speed dial, so I was the one who called her as soon as we got in the SUV, but I don’t even know what I said to her; in my ears, the words sounded like babbling.

“Babe, why are you yelling?” I looked at her mouth, trying to make sense of what she was saying, and she was eating the fucking noodle-doodles. She had the whole damn pan back there with us.

“You….” I started to lecture her about some shit; who knows since that’s all I’ve been doing for the last couple of weeks is lecturing her ass about something or another because she doesn’t listen for shit anymore since she knows I can’t do anything to her.

Every five minutes or so, that pain that felt like something was cutting me in half would hit and cut my breath off, and I’d have to grit my teeth and look out the window so she didn’t see my pain. My ass, it was so she didn’t laugh at me. I remember the laughter from the morning sickness bullshit, and the disrespect still burns my ass.

I asked her first before rolling down the window and sticking my face outside in the wind. The mountain air felt good going down. When I pulled my head back in, these fucks were having a conversation about some TV show the lot of them were hooked on.

I’d added a female to her team, just one, so there should be four men and one woman, but she’d neutered my fucking team. These fucks. I don’t even wanna get into the shit they’re into, but the TV show was just one of them.

Joy was in the backseat looking terrified, and Grandma was holding her hand and talking her through it. I wish somebody would talk me the fuck through this shit. I realized at some point that I had a death grip on Amanda’s hand, and from the looks of it, it was painful, but she didn’t make a sound, and when I looked over at her, she didn’t seem scared or nervous, none of the things I was worried about happening to her.

“We’re having a baby.” She whispered the words like they were a secret or some shit, and I nodded my head like an idiot with a wide-ass grin on my face. My sons were coming to meet me, finally.

I’d spent so much time talking to them, imagining them, not just when I was with her but wherever the urge hit me to have a talk with my boys, that I was past ready to meet them in the flesh. I’d long overcome the fear that I would be like my parents. For one thing, she wouldn’t let me, and I wouldn’t want that for her or the beautiful babies she’s growing inside her.

All I had to do was not just remember how my parents were but recall how I felt in any given situation and what I would’ve wanted at that time. I know I’m not going to be perfect, but the two of us together will get there.

Her soft gentleness and my gruff, hard-ass stance they’d balance themselves out, and we’d get the job done. Even with the morning sickness, I couldn’t wait to wake up in the morning to play with them and talk to them right before doing their mother.

I got kinda spooked a few days ago when I was fucking her from behind up against the wall. My hand, as usual when I was taking her this way, was on her tummy, and I think both my kids kicked the shit out of my hand. I took that to mean that they wanted me to leave their mother the fuck alone, and I haven’t touched her since.

We’re gonna have to have a talk about that as soon as they get here, though, because fuck if I’ma let the little shits tell me what to do with my woman. I smiled in the back of the SUV, her hand in mine, as I recalled all our happy moments these last few months, most of which had been caught on camera.

My heart was full of a light that had never been there before as we drove through the night, and along with the pain, I fought back tears as I realized that everything I’d ever wanted, this woman, our children, was about to be mine.

It looked like everyone got to the hospital before us. I saw Evelyn and her husband, along with the Silverspoons. “How’d you guys get here so fast?”

“We were already in the area, remember? The dinner that you refused because you didn’t want your wife driving that far?”

She said that shit like I knew my woman was going to go into labor. Meanwhile, these pains were kicking my ass, and Amanda and I had switched roles from what we’d learned in that Lamaze class she’d dragged me to. Now that is some Wes Craven fuckery right there. Those videos should be outlawed.

The sadistic fuck who made them was probably trying to scare all men from ever setting foot in a delivery room because after seeing that shit, I told her that the only reason I was doing this shit was because it was her and how much I love her.

Because she wasn’t in pain and I wasn’t giving birth, these fucks decided to take their time. The asshole Doc skipped her happy ass into the room a whole half an hour later, all chipper and shit. “So, I hear we’re doing pretty good in here.”

Bitch, I’m full slumped here in this chair, the fuck you mean doing pretty good? She didn’t even look in my direction but went right for the other one’s belly. Women, they can never read a room.

She checked my girl over, then walked over to me with a smirk. “How’re we doing Thunder?” I growled at her, and she laughed and walked away. “Still roaring, I see.” She stopped with her hand on the doorknob and looked back at me. “I can get you something for that you know.” That’s why she walked away. If I had something in my hand, I would’ve thrown it at her.

I had some peace for about two minutes, and then that shit started again. The nurse had put some shit all over her tummy that was hooked up to the machine next to her bed. Swear to fuck each time I felt a pain that shit spiked, but she didn’t even have a twinge, not one fuck.

“Babe, you want me to get you something? Some water?” She looked at me with concern, and I gave her the stink eye through the tidal wave of pain that hit me at the thought of drinking water. The only thing my stomach could take right now was air. She only said that shit to make me look bad.

She knew everyone was out there in the private waiting room. How would it look if she went to get me shit when she was technically the one having the babies? They’d laugh at my ass even more than they already do.

I’d been very hurt when my own men started teasing me about the throwing-up shit. I thought she’d betrayed me, but it turns out it was my darling little sister. She’s also the one who started the betting pool.

These fuckers have a spreadsheet. Is it going to be one of each, a boy and a girl, or will it be two of the same? What were their weights gonna be, and if it was one of each, which would be born first? Even my in-laws were in on it: traitors.

“No, thank you.” I know she thinks I can’t handle this, but she has no idea that no pain on earth could keep me from being there to hold her hand.

* * *

“Push Amanda,you’re doing well, you’re doing well.” The Doc must’ve said that a hundred times in the last few hours. Baby number one came out kicking and screaming. I was still on my feet. A bit lightheaded, but nothing I couldn’t handle. Baby number two was more of the same, and I was in the home stretch. All we had to deal with now was the afterbirth. The pain was miraculously gone.

Everyone was bustling around the room, getting the babies cleaned up, and I was looking down at my wife through tears. Then my eyes widened as a pain worse than all the others took me out. The last thing I heard when I hit the ground before all the lights went out was, ‘It’s a girl.’ Fuck me, the Doc got one over on me.